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Three years, three months and three and a half weeks ago,
Raven woke up with a start. She blinked for a moment, her mind vacant and her thoughts fuzzy. Then she remembered what had happened right before she had fallen asleep and she immediately jerked up, her back going ramrod straight and her heart pounding.
The last place she had been was a dark room in the basement of the Shaw Foundation headquarters.
The very last thing she had done was sign herself away to the Dollhouse.
As if on cue, a voice cut through the vague, tangled jumble of emotions that was threatening to swamp Raven entirely, causing her to realise that she was not, as she had first believed, alone in the room.
‘Good morning, Miss Darkholme,’ said the voice, and Raven turned her head to see one of the most terrifyingly beautiful women that she had ever seen sat in an armchair a few feet away from the bed, looking very much as if she owned everything in sight.
From what little that Raven knew of her, she probably did.
‘The fuck do you want?’ she growled out, her hands involuntarily fisting into the sheets of her bed and her eyes narrowing.
The woman in the armchair reacted only by idly raising a pale-blonde eyebrow.
‘You remember me, I see,’ she said serenely, her body so still that she could have been carved from ice for all the movement she made. ‘Do you by chance recall my name?’
As if Raven could ever forget it. Her expression said as much.
‘Frost,’ she spat out after a moment, her mouth twisting. ‘Emma Frost.’
The woman smiled at that.
‘Correct,’ she said, pleased. ‘Although I suppose that for you it hasn’t been so very long since I introduced myself, yes?’
Raven’s eyes only narrowed further and she fixed Frost with her fiercest scowl.
‘Where am I?’ she demanded, tensing her shoulders. ‘How long have I been here?’
If the woman was at all perturbed by Raven’s obvious hostility then she showed no signs of it.
‘Not long,’ she replied nonchalantly, gazing coolly at her fingernails. ‘Just a few hours or so. And as for where you are, well you are obviously in a hotel room. A very nice hotel room, I might add.’
Raven took the opportunity to cast her eyes around her and was forced to acknowledge that yes, it was indeed a very nice hotel room.
That being settled, Raven opened her mouth to demand a further explanation when there came a knock on the door that instantly made her freeze.
Emma, on the other hand, smiled.
‘Right on time,’ she said, pleased. Then, raising her voice, she called out to the person on the other side. ‘Come in!’
There was a pause and then the handle of the door turned and in walked a tall, gawky looking man with a sheepish expression on his face and a medical bag in his hand.
Emma’s expression was blank as she watched the man enter the room.
‘Mr. McCoy,’ she finally said, her tone betraying nothing. ‘You are here. And alone, I see.’
The young man – McCoy – flushed at that and had a hard time meeting Frost’s eyes.
‘Yes,’ he said, shifting awkwardly. ‘I – I’m afraid that Dr. Essex was … unavailable.’ His face turned even redder as he said this.
Emma’s lips thinned.
‘I see,’ she said evenly. ‘I shall need to have a word with dear Nathaniel after this, it seems. I should hate for him to overwork himself, after all.’
McCoy twitched uncomfortably and looked down at the floor.
Emma sighed.
‘Very well,’ she said dryly, waving an elegant hand at him. ‘You may attend to Miss Darkholme now, Mr. McCoy.’
McCoy, clearly relieved to have been dismissed by Miss Frost and her cold-eyed stare, hurried eagerly over to the bed where he set his medical bag down before reaching into his shirt pocket to retrieve a penlight. Grasping it with his right hand, he then reached out with his left to steady Raven’s face in order to look into her eyes. Before he could so much as brush against her skin, however, the girl on the bed whipped her head back and pushed away from him as far as was possible, eyeing him with a look of intense dislike.
‘What the fuck do you think you are doing?’ she snapped from the other side of the bed, eyeing the man in front of her with anger and suspicion.
McCoy blinked, looking astonished.
‘I – I’m giving you a check-up,’ he said, sounding slightly bewildered. ‘I – Dr. MacTaggart already gave you a physical, and Dr. Essex isn’t availa-’
‘That’s not what I mean!’ Raven snapped, glaring at the unfortunate boy. She turned to face Emma, her expression thunderous. ‘Who the fuck is this clown?’
McCoy began to babble something at her but one look from Miss Frost quickly shut him up.
‘Henry here is one of our doctors,’ Emma said easily, turning to face Raven. ‘He’s here to do a quick mental assessment to make sure that the procedure has gone smoothly and that your brain has readjusted to the changes. I’ll grant that he may look very young, but I assure you that he is incredibly competent,’ she paused and cast McCoy another glance, ‘even if he may not appear so.’
McCoy flushed yet again and Raven felt a slight surge of pity well up inside of her despite herself. Instead of allowing herself to relent, however, she fixed her eyes firmly on Miss Frost, watching her closely. ‘Why?’ she asked challengingly, ‘Is there something wrong with me?’
‘Goodness, no,’ Emma waved away the suggestion immediately. ‘It’s merely standard protocol. Just a final check-up before we set you free. Nothing to worry about at all, I assure you.’
But Raven hadn’t heard the last sentence. Her mind was still stuck on the words uttered just shortly before that. She didn’t even seem to breathe for a moment, her mind replaying those three words over and over again. Set you free, Frost had said … she was going to be allowed to leave. She was being set free.
Feeling slightly dazed, she turned to look at Emma, who was watching her with an air of studied detachment, looking for all the world as if her words hadn’t been of the least importance. Before Raven could open her mouth to say anything, however, McCoy swooped down in front of her, holding out the penlight with a timid expression.
‘May I?’ he asked hopefully, holding his left hand out towards her face.
Raven blinked, her thoughts momentarily derailed, and then slowly nodded. McCoy beamed at her before reaching forward and clasping her face with a gentle hand. The gesture seemed strangely familiar and Raven frowned slightly, before shaking her head.
‘Any dizziness?’ McCoy was asking, shining the light into her eyes and following the movement of her pupils closely. ‘Headaches? Nausea?’
Raven shook her head.
‘Any strange urges?’ McCoy persisted. ‘Odd recollections? Lost memories?’
Raven again replied in the negative.
The tests went on for some time – McCoy, it seemed, was actually perfectly competent and capable when it mattered, and Raven strangely grew somewhat reassured by his presence, even going so far as to almost forget that the two of them were not alone in the room.
At long last, McCoy straightened up and pushed his glasses further up his nose.
‘Well,’ he said, looking down at Raven, ‘Everything seems to be in order. The procedure seems to have gone smoothly enough and there don’t seem to be any problems with your long-term or short-term memory … I think it’s quite safe to say that everything is fine here.’ He smiled at Raven, who couldn’t stop herself from tentatively smiling back, causing McCoy to fidget. ‘Sorry about earlier,’ he apologised, gesturing with his hands, ‘about just-’ he moved his hand towards her face again to demonstrate. ‘I didn’t mean to impose. I guess I’ve been so used to just touching you without thinking when we’re Programming, that-’
Raven’s smile fell and McCoy froze, stuttering slightly.
‘I – I didn’t mean touching like that, I meant-’
‘Mr. McCoy,’ Miss Frost said abruptly, suddenly seeming to tower from where she was still sat in her chair. ‘Get out.’
‘Oh, but I didn’t-’ McCoy stumbled, sounding upset, but Emma’s scathing look quickly silenced him.
‘Leave us, Mr. McCoy,’ Emma said coldly, her eyes fixed on Raven’s tense form. ‘I will talk to you shortly. For now, I have more important things to deal with.’
McCoy nodded hurriedly at that and with one last mournful look at Raven and a quick murmured apology, he turned and all but fled from the room, shutting the door closed behind him.
Silence reigned for a few minutes before Raven finally looked up from where she had been staring blankly into the sheets of her bed.
‘So,’ she said quietly, her voice strangely toneless, but she was interrupted by Miss Frost before she could go any further.
‘I promise you, Miss Darkholme,’ she said crisply, ‘that all of our staff are extremely well-behaved. None of our staff would have ever dreamed of laying one finger on any of our Actives, and Henry McCoy in particular would not-’
Raven spun around, her expression suddenly furious.
‘Do you think I care about him?’ she spat, mouth twisted in anger. ‘Do you think that he’s the one I’m worried about? When all this time …’ she swallowed then, suddenly unable to continue.
Emma watched steadily as Raven’s breath hitched every few seconds, only moving to speak when the other was suitably calmed down.
‘I know it’s a lot to take in,’ she said carefully, her tone oddly gentle. ‘But you’ll be alright. I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true. Nothing happened to you – not really. You were never there, after all. Whatever may have happened in the past is over; none of that matters now.’
Raven let out a dry sob, her throat constricting in on itself.
‘How can you say that?’ she asked bitterly, wiping angrily at her cheeks. ‘How can you say that none of it matters? That I wasn’t there? I was! It was me!’
‘Was it?’ Emma raised an eyebrow at her. ‘Do you remember any of it, Miss Darkholme? Were you present for any of it?’ She paused when she received no answer. ‘What was the last thing that you remember?’
‘I-’ Raven swallowed. ‘I remember signing the contract and – and sitting in that chair and closing my eyes. And then I woke up.’
‘And then you woke up,’ Emma repeated. ‘And that is all that happened, Raven. That is your life. Anything that happened in between? It wasn’t you. How could it be you? You were never there.’
Raven stared. Then she slowly closed her eyes and let out a breath, steadying herself. She couldn’t say that she was at all convinced by Frost’s bullshit reasoning but the woman’s cool and matter-of-fact behaviour seemed to have a calming effect on her. She kept her eyes closed until she felt that she was once more in control of herself. There would be time for tears and anger later, she told herself. For now, she would carry on. She wouldn’t show any further weakness in front of Frost. Not if she could help it.
‘Okay,’ she said, finally lifting her head and wiping her arm across her face. ‘Okay, I get it. So – now what?’
Emma didn’t speak immediately, choosing to study Raven instead. Then, when it seemed that she was finally satisfied that Raven wasn’t going to burst into another bout of angry tears, she began to speak.
‘Now?’ she repeated thoughtfully, ‘Now, it’s up to you.’ She paused before meeting Raven’s eyes. ‘You are free, Miss Darkholme,’ she said quietly. ‘Completely and utterly free. The moment that I leave this room our mutual obligations to each other will come to an end and all your association with the Dollhouse will be concluded. You’ll be able to do whatever you like free from any and all interference from us for the rest of your life. You are free now, Miss Darkholme. Absolutely free.’
There was silence.
Raven struggled to speak.
‘And – and the criminal charges,’ she managed after a minute, her throat working hard, ‘The threats. Against me and – and my brother. It’s – it’s all over?’
‘It’s over,’ Emma confirmed, her voice so certain that Raven had no choice but to believe her. ‘It’s been taken care of.’
Raven nodded, swallowing. Then she closed her eyes and turned her face away, unable to look at Frost.
It was over. It was all over. It was finally done. She was free. She could leave, she could go home, she could – her throat tightened – she could see Charles, and oh Charles! How he must have worried! What did he think he had happened to her? She couldn’t even imagine. Five years … She would go to him immediately, she decided; she had left it long enough. She had been too much of a coward to face him when she had signed her life away to the Dollhouse, but no longer; she would go to him and confess everything and then promise to never, ever, ever leave him again …
‘Right,’ she said then, straightening her spine and turning to face Emma, a determined expression on her face. ‘Right then. Let’s get this over with. I have things to do and I – I have someone waiting for me.’
Emma blinked and her expression seemed to flicker for a moment before she nodded and sat forward in her chair.
‘Very well,’ she said, reaching over to pick up an ivory-white bag from the floor before pulling out a sheaf of paper from within it. ‘Let us finish this.’ She then got up from her seat and made her way over to the bed where Raven sat. ‘All you need to do is sign these documents and then, once we are done, I will walk out of that door and you will never see me again.’
‘Promise?’ Raven couldn’t resist muttering under her breath.
Emma’s mouth twitched slightly but she remained otherwise expressionless.
‘Indeed,’ she said primly. ‘Once I leave this room you will never see me again and this whole nightmare will be over.’
‘Just like that?’ Raven asked sceptically.
This time Emma did smile, a strange, wry thing full of reluctant amusement.
‘Just like that,’ she confirmed, lips curled up as if at some private joke.
Raven watched her suspiciously for a moment before sighing and shrugging her shoulders.
‘Whatever,’ she said with deceptive lightness. ‘Just give me a pen and I’ll sign the damn things. I am so ready to be out of here.’
A pen appeared at her side as if by magic and Raven blinked, but nodded her acknowledgement as she took the pen and turned to the first of the papers.
The majority of the paperwork consisted of a series of standard non-disclosure clauses followed by thinly-veiled threats of what would happen should she reveal anything about the Dollhouse to third parties and outsiders. Raven read through these carefully, taking her time to puzzle out the language and memorise it. Then, once that was done, she lifted the pen and, feeling a little like she was signing the Official Secrets Act, signed her name at the bottom.
There were several other similarly-worded documents that Raven read with equal attention. By the time she had finished it was late afternoon and her eyes had begun to ache in their sockets.
‘There,’ she said at last, signing the final document with a flourish and then shoving the entire pile towards Miss Frost. ‘There, I’m done. Now take them and go. I’m going to take a nap and then I’m going to see what the future’s like. I’m hoping for flying cars,’ she said flippantly. ‘Or maybe aliens or something.’
Miss Frost paused in her collection of the papers.
‘If that is the case,’ she said slowly, ‘I will warn you that you will be exceedingly disappointed. For more than one reason.’
Raven gave a soft snort.
‘I guess I’ll just have to wait and see,’ she said. ‘Now, if we’re all done here …’
‘Just a few more things,’ Emma said evenly. ‘And then, as I said before, you and I will never see each other again.’ She straightened up and regarded Raven sternly. ‘Firstly, we have created a bank account in your name in which we have deposited the payment for your services. On this card,’ and here she took a small white card from out of her purse and handed it to Raven, ‘is both the name of the bank and your account number. You should have no problems accessing your money at any time that you desire. Secondly,’ Emma continued, ‘you should be aware that, as stated in the contract, we will be monitoring your finances and electronic communications for a certain period of time. This is for your own safety and security as well as ours; we need to make sure that your time with us has left you no problems or discomfort, after all, as well as with no sudden urges to speak to any overly-friendly journalists. Finally,’ Emma looked up at Raven, ‘you should know that this hotel room has been booked and paid for under your name indefinitely. It is yours to do as you wish with until you find alternative accommodation.’
‘That won’t be a problem,’ Raven said quickly, shaking her head. ‘Like I said, I have someone who’s waiting for me.’
‘Hmm,’ Emma hummed thoughtfully, ‘Then you are very lucky, Miss Darkholme.’
Raven cocked her head.
‘Lucky?’ she asked suspiciously.
‘Yes,’ Emma said lightly, her face angled away as she turned to look through the documents, ‘Lucky to have someone who loves you so very much.’
‘I guess,’ Raven said slowly, feeling slightly confused. ‘I – yes. Yes, I am.’
Emma dipped her head.
‘As long as you know it,’ she said, before straightening up. ‘Well, that seems to be all in order. I trust that everything has been concluded to the satisfaction of all the parties involved.’
Raven shrugged. ‘You got what you wanted from me and I’m just glad to see the back of you, so yeah, whatever. I guess it has.’
Emma smiled thinly.
‘Quite,’ she said, before turning around and walking away from the bed. She paused when she came to the armchair, however, and pulled her bag close to her. ‘Before I leave,’ she said nonchalantly, carefully pulling something from within it, ‘Allow me leave you a copy of today’s newspaper to peruse at your leisure. So you can – how did you put it? See what the future’s like, I think you said.’
‘…Right,’ Raven frowned slightly. ‘Thanks, I guess.’
‘You are welcome,’ Emma dipped her head once in acknowledgement before moving towards the door. ‘Goodbye, Miss Darkholme. You and I will not see each other ever again. Nevertheless,’ she lifted her eyes to meet Raven’s, ‘I wish you well. Truly, I do. I understand that it will be some time before you fully understand and accept what has happened here but when you do, I hope that you are able to make peace with it and move on with your life. Believe me, it does no good to dwell on things that cannot be changed.’ She then turned and reached for the door. ‘Farewell, Miss Darkholme,’ she said, and then, pulling the door open, she stepped through the doorway and out of Raven’s life.
Raven stared at the doorway for a good few minutes, not knowing what to say. Then, with a blink, realisation dawned on her once more: she was free. The whole ordeal was over without her even knowing it and she was finally, finally, free. Letting out a burst of weak laughter, she collapsed back onto the bed, her chest heaving. Suddenly she felt exhausted. She didn’t know how much time had passed in Miss Frost’s company but it was now getting dark and all of her previous tension and anxiety was finally catching up with her. Before she knew it, her eyes were closing and then, when she next opened them, it was morning. She had slept through the entire night without waking once.
It was a while before eventually dragged herself from the bed, but she at last managed to do so. She then proceeded to spend a truly ridiculous amount of time in the bathroom, washing herself thoroughly and carefully mapping her body for any changes. There were none. She didn’t even appear to be any older despite having lost five years to the Dollhouse. No deepening lines, no crows feet, nothing. She smiled. Charles would no doubt take the opportunity to say something about the grooviness of her genes.
And all of a sudden she was hit with a pang of yearning so strong that it almost brought her to her knees. She knew that for her it had only been a short while but still she missed Charles with such a fierce longing that it almost crippled her. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what it had been like for him: while she had only had to wait through what felt like a few days, for Charles it would have been years. Five whole years. She almost trembled at the thought. So much would be different. The world wouldn’t stop turning just for her, after all.
It was then that she remembered the newspaper left behind by Miss Frost and she felt a surge of thankfulness that she had done so. The hotel room had a television, of course, but there was something about a newspaper that was more solid – more reliable. Quickly pulling on a fluffy white bathrobe, Raven tied the belt around her waist and made her way over to the armchair where Miss Frost had been sitting.
The newspaper was waiting for her, folded and crisp and clean. Raven bent to pick it up but as she did so, something from the middle of the paper was knocked loose and it fell to the floor at her feet. Raven frowned in mild irritation – it seemed that newspapers still had unwanted inserts even after five years – before bending down and picking up the fallen object. Her frown only deepened when she saw that it was a pristine white envelope that she held in her hand and not a random flyer as she had expected. Her surprise was all the greater when she turned the envelope over, only to see that it was addressed to her. There was just one word on the front and it was her name: Raven.
Something about the writing made her feel abruptly cold. It looked familiar – far, far too familiar. Her heart suddenly beating wildly in her chest, she clutched at the envelope, feeling it. It was thin, very thin – whatever it was, it contained no more than one single sheet of paper.
Something made her pull her eyes away from the envelope and then slowly, so slowly that it felt almost inevitable, she turned her gaze on the newspaper.
Her eyes immediately zeroed in on the topmost line, on the date.
She stared.
No … no … that couldn’t be right.
Quickly she ripped through the pages of the newspaper but each and every one of them declared the same date as the first page. Each news item that her eyes flickered across only confirmed it.
Heart high in her throat and fear and desperation clawing at her, Raven’s eyes then fell back on the envelope. She hesitated for a moment before dropping the newspaper and then tearing the envelope open.
Inside, as she had guessed, was a single sheet of paper.
It was a letter.
And, as her eyes scanned the first line on the top of the page, her mouth dropped open and she screamed.