Work Text:
Three Months…
Xie Lian hummed as he worked, a soft song filling the otherwise silent room. A piece of his past, a tune that always served to soothe him, something his mind would never let fade through the centuries of life. Stirring the large pot of stew, he was pleasantly surprised by how well it had turned out. He couldn't quite account for the colour or even the consistency, but the smell was appealing. Some would argue that appearance was part of the taste experience, but as far as he was concerned, it all went down the same way. So long as the flavours were there, wasn't that what mattered?
But ideally, this would be the ultimate meal.
Using the finest china he had available, Xie Lian prepared two bowls of stew and set them on the table. Carefully, he placed a soup spoon and a pair of chopsticks on either side of the bowls. Finally, he settled into one of the seats, looking down at the stew in front of him and then to the empty spot across from him. Once comfortable in his chair, Xie Lian did what he always did; he waited.
At first, he gazed at the stew, taking in every chunk of vegetable or meat soaking in the broth. The steam rose and warmed his skin, a scent filling the room that was far more compelling than anything he'd ever managed to prepare before. The broth had taken on a strange shade, somewhere between the expected earthy brown and a delicate eggplant hue. The consistency was almost too thick, but he'd been almost afraid to add anything more, lest he ruin something so close to perfection. There was a chip on the bowl he'd used, but it was the best he had to offer. That was alright, though. The other bowl was pristine, and that was what mattered.
At first, Xie Lian sat up straight with his hands nestled in his lap and the promise of a smile looming in the air. It was all dependent on how the night progressed. He tried not to appear too desperate, but every now and then, his gaze would travel to the door. The cottage still had a lot of construction left to do, but it had already come quite a long way. It was enough that Xie Lian felt comfortable staying there, even if perhaps it was a little cold and not quite structurally sound. There was nowhere else for him to be. He needed to be there. Just in case.
An hour went by. Then another. And another. Xie Lian eventually had his arms resting on the table, his head leaning on them, as he stared intently at the door. It didn't shift, didn't budge. There was no knock. Nothing. With a disappointed sigh, Xie Lian picked up the chopsticks and the soup spoon, hesitantly moving the food around his bowl. At first, he stared at the other bowl, but reluctantly, he took a mouthful of cold stew. He could tell from one taste alone that if anyone else were to take a bite, they'd soon be on the floor, but Xie Lian didn't mind it. The flavour certainly wasn't as bad as some of his other meals had been. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Xie Lian tried not to let himself dwell on the most painful truth.
Hua Cheng would've liked it.
Xie Lian's lip quivered as he took another bite, filling himself with food not because he was hungry, but because it was what Hua Cheng would've wanted. So, he ate until he couldn't any longer, feeling more sick than satiated. Not from the food, but the lack of company. Part of him had hoped it would be the night. The meal had come out so well, it would've been the perfect time. And even after Xie Lian finished eating, he sat at the table, staring at his mostly empty bowl, fists clenched in his lap as he did all he could to hold back the emotions.
It was fine. Everything would be fine.
A few more hours passed before he finally gave in, picking up the bowls and beginning the process of cleaning up. Looking down at Hua Cheng's untouched food, Xie Lian did his best impression of the ghost king when he said, "The food was delicious, gege," Looking around the empty cottage, Xie Lian sighed sadly and murmured to himself, "Thanks, San Lang."
There was still so much stew left over. There were few things Xie Lian hated more than wasting food. Already, he was figuring out how best to save it, how many meals he could make out of it. He couldn’t serve it to Hua Cheng when he returned, of course. He deserved a fresh meal upon his arrival, not days-old leftovers. But it would certainly keep Xie Lian going for a while. Calculating how far he could make it last, something unexpected happened.
A firm knock hammered on the front door.
So many scenarios went through Xie Lian’s head. Things were supposed to go a certain way. He was meant to have food prepared for him. He couldn’t very well present him with cold stew. He needed to look somewhat presentable, not the mess of ruffled hair from hours upon hours of dragging his fingers through it, trying to stave off the dread of another night alone. Yet, all those worries vanished in an instant at the arrival of that sound.
Xie Lian rushed to the front door, throwing it open, heart thundering in his chest, “San La—”
Standing before him, looking slightly confused, was Quan Yizhen.
“Oh,” Xie Lian’s heart sank, the uneasy feeling returning, “Sorry, I thought…” He forced a smile, “It’s good to see you.”
Quan Yizhen didn’t say anything, and perhaps that was better than him trying to find words of comfort. Comfort wasn’t what Xie Lian wanted. Comfort wouldn’t give him what he really needed. Instead of words, Quan Yizhen held out a heap of red fabric. Xie Lian recognised it immediately as one of Hua Cheng’s robes.
Without a second thought, Xie Lian took it and asked, "Where did you get this?"
"His manor," Quan Yizhen explained, "I've been staying there trying to figure out how to help Shixiong. One of the ghosts there said I should bring it to you."
At that moment, Xie Lian realised that he wasn't the only one grieving. He wasn't the only one refusing to let go. While Xie Lian lived every single day trying to prepare for the return of the man he loved, Quan Yizhen lived every day trying to find a way to save Yin Yu. No one in the three realms could come close to understanding the pain like Quan Yizhen.
"How is it going?" Xie Lian asked tentatively, hoping he wasn't pushing too far too fast.
"Nothing so far," Quan Yizhen replied simply, "I need to head back and keep trying."
"Okay. Thank you," Xie Lian said, feeling more at peace than he had since the moment Hua Cheng dispersed in his arms.
For anyone else to have dropped by and left so suddenly, it would be strange. But for Quan Yizhen, it made sense. He didn't have time for pleasantries. He had a job that needed to be done. If anyone were to dare try to pull Xie Lian away while he was waiting for Hua Cheng, he wouldn't like it much either. Once Quan Yizhen had left, Xie Lian closed the door, leaning against it and sliding to the floor. He clung to the robes, breathing in the familiar scent of Hua Cheng, a soothing, welcoming scent that felt so much like home. Hugging the robes to his chest, Xie Lian finally allowed himself to cry.
The flowers were in full bloom, he reminded himself. He had to come home soon.
Six Months…
It didn't matter how much time went by. Xie Lian still cooked fresh meals every night. He still waited for hours on end for Hua Cheng to come home for dinner. He always ate alone, his food long gone cold, hoping Hua Cheng might arrive before he finished the meal.
He never did.
Once satisfied with the cleanup after another long night of waiting, Xie Lian sighed, crawling into the makeshift bed he'd set up in the cottage. After so much time, it was all but complete, even better than it had been the first time it was built. Xie Lian wanted to know what Hua Cheng would think when he saw it. Taking the crimson robes he'd slept with every night, Xie Lian hugged them to his chest, long since accepting the fact that the scent of Hua Cheng no longer lingered on the fabric. He missed it every single day, but it was enough just to have something, some way to feel connected.
"Mu Qing and Feng Xin stopped by today," Xie Lian spoke gently into the room, telling himself that if he did, Hua Cheng might hear him. Maybe he'd respond. Taking a shuddering breath, he continued, "I think maybe they think visiting is going to help me. They tell me I should leave the cottage, maybe go to heaven for a while. But I can't. I need to be here when you come back."
Xie Lian had experienced it a few times: gods stopping by his shrine to check on him, ask for advice, or request assistance. Whatever he could do to assist, he would, of course. It did help to keep his mind busy. But whenever they mentioned leaving for extended periods of time, Xie Lian would grow uneasy. Hua Cheng would return. When? He couldn't say. But the thought of him arriving home when Xie Lian wasn't there to welcome him felt so completely wrong.
"They started fighting," Xie Lian laughed gently, the laugh of a man who had grown far too used to his best friends and their antics, "I kept imagining you walking in the door and saying something witty. I'd laugh. They'd get so worked up, they'd forget all about why they were fighting."
It was a known fact that things were better when Hua Cheng was around. Some would deny that fact, but Xie Lian knew it to be true. Any moment that was once dull became infinitely better the moment Hua Cheng arrived with his charismatic smile and his clever words.
"I miss you," Xie Lian finally said, burying his face in the fabric, "Good night, San Lang."
Nine Months…
By the ninth month of waiting, Xie Lian didn't cry anymore. He didn't get upset. But he also didn't expect Hua Cheng to walk in the door at any moment. Being on edge all the time grew exhausting. Expecting his arrival every day only to spend another night alone grew disheartening.
It was much easier to spend his days near the cottage, not thinking about the anticipation of his arrival. And then, when Hua Cheng did come home, he would only be filled with happiness.
That afternoon, Xie Lian was sitting under a tree not far from the cottage, watching the flowers. They were no longer in bloom, but they still seemed to be clinging on, like they were also hoping to be there for Hua Cheng's return. The leaves had begun to fall, and a few butterflies had started drifting through the garden every now and then. It was another reminder of him, of the cute silver butterflies that would tickle his skin, showing him just as much affection as Hua Cheng used to. Perhaps even more. He supposed, in a way, they were able to show the affection Hua Cheng had always been afraid to express.
They'd never really had the chance to truly explore their feelings for each other.
"This weather always reminds me of you," Xie Lian said to the empty space. He'd grown used to talking to the air, something that was supposed to soothe his heart, but in a way, he hoped that the words would find their way to Hua Cheng and perhaps soothe him, too. Plucking a leaf from the ground beside him, Xie Lian said, "Some of the leaves get as red as your robes. When they dance in the wind, it's like seeing your butterflies fluttering by the window. Even the smell in the air reminds me of you."
Perhaps he sounded a little ridiculous. Xie Lian had spent so much time trying to figure out his feelings for Hua Cheng, trying to understand why he was so drawn to him. And just when he'd learned to accept them and allow himself to want, Hua Cheng had to leave. It was difficult to harbour all those feelings, allow himself to have them for the first time in so many centuries, and have no way to express them. All he had was his words spoken to the shadows. And until Hua Cheng returned, those words had to be enough.
"Today, Mu Qing asked me if I really believed you were going to come back. I think maybe if he'd asked me that a few months ago, I might've gotten angry. But now, I just feel... calm," Xie Lian twirled the leaf in his hand with a fond smile, "When you first disappeared, I felt almost offended if anyone said you wouldn't return. It was like I needed them to share the belief that you will come back. Like it might give you strength. But after a while, I started really thinking about it. I thought about how long you waited for me. So many centuries, you waited. And you never gave up. You never stopped believing in me."
Xie Lian still couldn't fathom that level of devotion. To be so dedicated to one person, to have such unrelenting faith in them throughout all the years of pain and isolation, all the time separated from each other. And even through all that, Hua Cheng never held any notion of them being together by the end of it. He always believed he would find Xie Lian again, but he never thought that he might reciprocate his feelings.
His belief never wavered.
"When I thought about that, I knew that no matter what happens, I would give you that same devotion. I don't care how long it takes. Decades. Centuries. I'll never stop waiting for you. Because I know you're going to come home," There was a feeling of peace that came with those words. Xie Lian would wait until the end of time for Hua Cheng. There was no question of if he'd ever return. It was only a matter of when. And as long as Xie Lian knew that one way or another, Hua Cheng would be back in his arms, the amount of time it took was irrelevant. Looking up at the clouds in the sky, Xie Lian smiled and said, "Take as long as you need, San Lang. I'm not going anywhere."
Twelve Months…
It had been a successful day. Xie Lian was pleased with the haul of scraps he'd managed to acquire. There were many things he wanted to investigate further, things he couldn't sit around in the shop inspecting. It was best to take them home and take the time to better understand the mysteries that they held. The entire ox cart ride home, he'd been thinking about it, looking forward to spending the evening learning their secrets.
The Shangyuan Festival was in the back of his mind, something he was aware of but had no intention of joining. He was sure in the heavens, they were enjoying themselves. It would feel different this year without Jun Wu's claim on the number one spot. It was likely there was more competition than ever before. Xie Lian wouldn't have a hat in the race, either. Not without Hua Cheng there to pull the antics he'd managed before. It was a special time. Xie Lian had met Hua Cheng on the day of the festival so many centuries ago, saving him as he fell from that wall. It felt like his heart clenched in his chest at the thought. He hadn't known it yet, but saving that child during that festival had changed everything.
At the sight of the lanterns filling the sky, Xie Lian stopped the cart, eyes drawn to the lights like stars filling the air. He hadn't expected to see lanterns here, of all places. So close to his shrine. Certainly not so many. There were even more than there had been in the past. They lit up the sky, thousands of brilliant lights, more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen before. The sight brought back memories. Memories that made his heart ache, and his hands began to shake.
The cart began to move again, and Xie Lian watched the lights intently, afraid to feel or think anything but just as scared to look away. As he turned the corner on the mountain path, the cottage he had been calling home for the past year came into view. The cottage he had cooked every meal in. The cottage he had cleaned day after day. The cottage he had lived his life in, constantly waiting for something with no knowledge of when it would come.
Someone was waiting for him.
The first thing Xie Lian noticed was that the man was dressed in red. The same red Xie Lian had become so fond of. The same red that would catch his eye on every walk, tricking his mind into believing the time had come again and again, only to be met with disappointment. He was tall and lean, and an adorable scimitar was strapped to his side. And even as the familiar man was turned away, sending more and more lanterns into the night sky, Xie Lian felt almost heavy watching him, unsure of whether or not he'd finally lost his mind, if his yearning for him had grown so wildly out of control that he'd dreamt this up, all the while moving closer and closer.
With thousands of lanterns adorning the sky, the man turned to him, and all doubts of his own sanity left Xie Lian's mind. He knew that handsome face. He knew that bright gaze. He knew that wildly charismatic spirit. The wheels on the cart hadn't quite stopped turning even as Xie Lian clambered off of it. Their eyes never left each other. It was as though there was a fear in the back of his mind that if he dared to look away for even a moment, if he so much as blinked, this would all turn out to be his imagination. So, instead, Xie Lian began slowly walking toward him. And as he did, so too did the man he'd been waiting for.
He started to run.
The tears were already streaming down his face, tears he hadn't allowed himself to shed as he waited, emotions he had tried to bury in order to remain strong. He was back. Just as Xie Lian knew he would be. And as Xie Lian threw himself into Hua Cheng's loving embrace, he knew that nothing could ever hurt him again. Not as long as they had each other.
"I waited," Xie Lian choked out the words between bouts of tears, clinging to him like a vice, "I never stopped believing."
"I know," Hua Cheng's low, gentle voice was like a balm on Xie Lian's heart, mending the aches of so much time without him, "I'll never leave your side again."
Such simple words cut Xie Lian to the bone, his pain spilling like blood from a wound so much deeper than any blade could pierce. His body shook as he cried, finally allowing all the poison to leave his body, all the fears, the doubts he couldn't allow himself to feel, all of it could finally leave. Because Hua Cheng was there. In his arms. Hua Cheng was home, and finally, Xie Lian was, too.
"Shh, it's okay. It's okay," Hua Cheng murmured, reassuring fingers carding delicately through his hair.
"It wasn't," Xie Lian said, holding him tighter still, "But it is now."
As Hua Cheng's hand moved to cradle his face, Xie Lian finally dared to look up at him, taking in the utter adoration in his eye. He leaned into every touch instinctively, his entire body craving every brush of skin against skin, every reminder of the man he loved with every fibre of his being. Everything was okay. After so much pain, so many lifetimes of suffering and isolation, finally, he was allowed to have the happy ending he never thought was possible. They would share a thousand lifetimes together, making every one better than the last. The look on Hua Cheng's face screamed of a devotion with no end, and Xie Lian's was no different.
He'd never stop believing, just as he knew Hua Cheng would never lose faith in him.
Pulling Hua Cheng in, Xie Lian pressed their lips together, fueled by a need to share his love with no words to truly describe it. He greedily drank the sigh from Hua Cheng's lips, his body feeling lighter in all the right ways as Hua Cheng pulled him closer, following his lips, saying his own declarations of love without words. After centuries of telling himself he couldn't have this, Xie Lian wanted nothing else but Hua Cheng. Even as their lips parted, Xie Lian wanted to chase, to make up for so much lost time.
Instead, he smiled, his heart thundering in his chest as Hua Cheng brushed a thumb against his tear-stained cheek and said, "Our forever begins now, gege."