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“So, Utah, huh?”
JJ tensed at the word. He meant to tell him. He really did. He can’t even say he forgot (he wishes he could), he just... ignored the conversation. But when Jack texted him, asking if he wanted to call while they were both on vacation with the world between them, JJ knew he couldn’t ignore it any longer.
“I meant to tell you.”, is all he can find the strength to say. What goes unsaid are things like ‘I wanted to stay’ or ‘Your contract isn’t signed, come with me’ or even ‘I’ll miss you the most.’ Though JJ is sure Jack knows that. All of it, actually.
“Yeah, yeah. I know. It’s fine.”
JJ can hear amusement in his voice. Like he is on the verge of having a laughing fit. It’s ironic considering JJ can feel his eyes watering.
“You excited?”
Yes. No. ‘I’d rather stay with you.’
Of course JJ is excited. But he is also fucking scared. What if he isn’t what Utah and the world thinks he is? What if he fucks up? What if not even Buffalo will take him back? What if he disappoints not only Utah but also his parents, friends, himself?
“Dude, I can hear you worrying! Stop, you’ll be amazing!”
Jack sounds genuine. Honest. And then, because JJ wasn’t panicking already, Jack adds in a quieter voice, “You’re always amazing.”
JJ takes a deep breath. This is why he didn’t tell him sooner. Or in person. Or over face-time. If JJ would see Jack’s eyes when he says things like that, he would drop everything, stay in Buffalo and watch from the sidelines as Jack would glide over the ice.
It’s quiet for a while after that. He can hear Jack rustling around, probably still in bed since it’s only morning at his family home in Canada. The covers shift as Jack is probably turning around, never able to lie still. It blends in nicely where JJ is sitting on his hotel balcony in the Spanish sun, the waves crashing against the shore in the far distance, birds chirping happily in the warm air.
“Jack,” JJ doesn’t even know how to finish the sentence. But it doesn’t matter since Jack interrupts him anyway.
“I miss you, J. I will miss you.”
JJ takes another, shaky breath. “We’ll be okay.” They probably won’t be. JJ knows it, Jack knows it. But maybe, for now, they can pretend.
“It’s 2000 miles, J.”
“We’ll be okay.” JJ repeats. He’s not sure who is trying to convince.