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The sounds of pistol shots rang in Shepard's ears. Later she would say the Catalyst let out a little sigh as she continued to destroy the power conduit.
Shepard limped backwards from the now decimated conduit. The little boy, the killer AI, was gone and likely disappointed with her "choice".
It was never a choice to her. The Reapers had to be destroyed. She'd said so all along and Shepard wasn't about to go back on her word now; not when the other options were sticking with the Illusive Man's idea and becoming an AI, or peacefully brainwashing everyone and everything.
Despite it all, Shepard was a soldier. She never saw herself as 'The Hero of the Citadel', or 'Humanity's finest',
She was Lilly Shepard, a little street rat from Earth. She was Lilly Shepard, who worked to become a good soldier like the rest of them.
She was Lilly Shepard; and if you called her that, there'd be lillies on your grave by next week.
She was Commander Shepard, an Alliance soldier who had no right to make any other decision.
The Crucible powered up, and the shaking of the Citadel threw her to the ground. Shepard closed her eyes. "Just resting" she thought. "I'm still here, damn it."
She was unconscious for the blast, for the Citadel falling to ruin. Shepard only stirred, peeked through heavy eyelids crusted over with her own blood, to see that she was falling.
Later she would say she wasn't worried because she was only following orders. She couldn't die now, not when the infamous Archangel forbid her from doing so.
Shepard hit the ground with all the grace of a sack of bricks, as did the rest of the rubble on top of her.
Idly, She touched where her helmet had hit concrete. There was a huge dent, it was probably cracked. Shepard shook her head "ow. no more moving" She thought, resigning herself to lie there buried in Citadel pieces.
Exhaustion took hold, and took it hard. The red energy swept over her under the rubble, burning out the life-saving Cerberus implants. Still she slept, she and the world was safe.
Days passed before she truly woke up, starving and light-headed. Her face burned and ached, like she had been hit with a Ravager's blast. Now that she noticed, it seemed like her whole body felt that way.
"Even you are part synthetic" The Catalyst's voice echoed in her memory.
"Damn... Gotta... Hackett..." Shepard spoke aloud for the first time in days, her voice sounding as if she had been gargling rocks. She cried out in pain at every movement she made, first thinking to dig herself out.
When Commander Shepard's fingers refuse to move, however, she give up and hits the com button on her helmet by slamming her uncooperative hand onto it.
"This is... 'mander Shepard..." She paused, coughing a clot of old blood out of her lungs. "Need evac... Commander... Shepard..." She released the com button and waited.
Static.
"Please..." She tried again. "Command... Shepard. Can't move... alive. Send help."
Static.
Nothing.
No-one.
Switching her com to a recording device, she pressed the button one more time. "I'm Commander... I'm Lilly Shepard. We did it... We... We win... Can't move. Might not... Make it... before this message... Take me to the Normandy, to... to Garrus.. Vakarian.. If I'm... Not here. I love you Garrus."
Her breath hitched painfully, the tear ducts must have been synthetic though, as not one drop escaped her eyes. "I love you so much. And I love you Tali, and Li- Liara, and Joker, a-and all of you. I'm... I'm proud. Sh-Shepard... Out."
Exhaustion edged at the back of her mind again. Exhaustion and something else; something darker, something that seemed all too easy to fall into. Shepard's eyes closed and felt peaceful, felt her burning pain begin to fade, felt the world around her grow small.
"Forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you. Come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."
The Commander's eyes flew open with a sharp and painful gasp. "Fuck... off... You featherless piece of..." She trailed off, gasping again, but not receiving nearly enough air to relieve the dizziness she felt.
"Shit." She finished upon realizing she was running out of oxygen under all the rubble.
Shepard tried to rise again, only to immediately fall back down with a loud groan.
Unable to move, unable to die, and soon unable to breathe; The Hero of the Citadel that was currently trying to kill her did something she hadn't since her time on Akuze.
Commander Shepard breathed as deep as she could, a painful process, and screamed.
And screamed.
And screamed.
And that was the last of her air. She gasped, shaking, pulling for the tiniest bits of oxygen in her space.
Somewhere, she heard people reacting to her screaming and coming to find her. At least, she hoped they were and she wasn’t hearing things in her oxygen-deprived brain.
Her vision blurred and went dark. Dying of suffocation for the second time felt almost familiar.
Her time with Garrus came to mind, as it had when she died almost three years ago. His voice, his laugh, the ways it felt when he wrapped his arm around her waist. She thought of how right it felt to be holding onto a three-fingered hand as she tangoed with the self-proclaimed Turian bad boy.
Shepard's chest jerked upwards as her mouth opened in a silent scream. All went dark as she lost consciousness yet again.