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There was something wrong with him. Horribly wrong with him. Megumi and Itadori were friends. Best friends? Maybe not. Itadori had never called him his best friend and Megumi didn't know what constituted a best friend, but he knew what he was feeling was definitely not it. Whenever Itadori got too close his heart raced and his hands got sweaty, whenever he looked at him too long or Itadori said one of those stupid jokes or horribly sweet lines. Him being allergic to Itadori was more believable than his current theory. Unfortunately, it was the logical conclusion. He wasn't stupid. He had had crushes before. A few times. Okay maybe only once but it counted, even if he had been 12 at the time. This was bad. Very bad. Yuji most definitely straight and one of his only friends Itadori. Of all people, the guy with a pinup poster in his room whose type is Jennifer Lawrence. Megumi looked nothing like Jennifer Lawrence.
It hurt, way more than he had expected it to. If he thought too hard about it he felt sick. It's fine. Everything's fine. He couldn't tell anyone. Not yet. Maybe not ever. He just let it eat him up inside like he did with everything else. Sometimes he thought about that boy he'd liked in elementary school, compared him to Itadori. It was the only point of reference he had. They weren't all that alike. That boy had been a quiet type. His desk was next to Megumi's. Neither of them really had friends, they gravitated towards one another. Megumi had stood up for the boy when he saw him being bullied and it went on from there. He hadn't fully entered his phase of putting arrogant people like that in their place, but he still hated to see the strong picking on the weak. That hadn't changed. That boy had definitely been weak. Megumi never disliked that. If anything, he liked protecting him. They had been an odd sort of friends that way. It was that desire to protect him that soon evolved into something more. They had been friends all that year, but it wasn't until closer to the end that Megumi realized he had a crush on the other boy. He never got to tell him, his friend moved away that summer. He wasn't sure if he regretted it or not. They were still just children, would anything have even come out of confessing? He had no idea how the other boy would have responded. Maybe it was better to leave things as they did.
This brought him back to Itadori. Was this also better left unsaid? His mind said yes. It would only make things awkward between them. Itadori wasn't the type to react with disgust or cruelty, he would never. Megumi would be politely rejected, he could imagine the awkwardly apologetic expression Itadori would sport. He didn't really want that either. He wouldn't lose him, that's for sure, being at a school where there's only three students in their grade meant breaking off friendships was near impossible, and Itadori wouldn't do it either way. Once he considered someone a friend he wouldn't abandon them. Not over something like a crush. He was loyal, it was one of the things Megumi liked about him.
It felt like it only got worse the more time they spent together. It didn't matter if they were fighting curses or going to the movies, any time spent in close proximity with Itadori meant he had to actively stop himself from getting too flustered and nervous. They were supposed to go to a movie tonight, but Nobara got sick and they decided not to go without her. This time they had picked a movie she actually cared about, so they didn't want to leave her out. Megumi was already getting ready for bed, about to change out of his uniform, when his door flew open. He quickly pulled his shirt closed again and glared at Itadori, whose stupid grin hadn't faltered at the sight of Megumi's torso.
"What?!" He snapped, trying to cover his embarrassment.
Itadori produced snacks and a laptop from behind his back, "Just because Nobara's quarantined doesn't mean we have to do nothing."
"Maybe I wanted to do nothing."
"Come on, Fushiguro! You can pick the movie this time." Itadori looked at him with puppy eyes and Megumi cursed his own weakness.
"Okay! Let me change first though." He promptly slammed the door in his friend's face. Once successfully in sleeping clothes, he opened it again and Itadori ran in to flop onto his bed. He pushed the snacks to one side and put the laptop in front of him. Megumi reluctantly slid beside him, keeping as much space between their bodies as he could. Itadori didn't seem to notice, he never did.
"What are we watching?" Right. He had to pick. He wanted to choose something Itadori would like too. Horror? But he didn't know any horror movies except the ones Itadori made him watch. Action? Itadori likes American movies. He's been thinking for too long, he needs to decide.
"...Spiderman."
"Which one?"
"Any?"
"Alright." Itadori shrugs and scrolls through their options before choosing the 2012 The Amazing Spider-Man. Megumi hadn't actually seen it before, most of his American superhero knowledge came from comics he read as a kid. He had grown up always nose deep in a book of some kind, it was his escape.
He found himself watching Itadori more than the movie. The other boy was eating non stop for most of it. Megumi surveyed the snack selection; popcorn, reese's pieces, skittles, m&ms, chips. He took the occasional handful. He noted Itadori's reaction to each scene, how his expressions changed based on his feelings and thoughts. He was an expressive person, easy to read, yet so difficult at the same time. He was beautiful. Megumi studied his face. If he were an artist, Itadori was the only muse he would ever need. He hadn't noticed himself getting closer to him, the space between them was almost gone now, their legs overlapping.
"Oh, this part is so good-" Itadori looked at him suddenly and Megumi didn't have time to look away before being caught staring. They made eye contact and Megumi felt heat rising to his face. He tried so hard, but his eyes momentarily fell to Itadori's lips. He'd seen it, he knew he had, and he was expecting him to break eye contact and pull away, but he didn't. Megumi wanted to say something to break the tension, his heart was beating so loud he could hardly think. He opened his mouth, intending to speak, but his body seemed to move on its own. They both leaned forwards at the same time, it was really more an awkward bumping together of their mouths than a real kiss but it felt life changing all the same. It was only a second before he realized what he was doing and sharply pulled back, staring mortified at Itadori. It was silent for a moment, then Itadori burst into giggles.
"Don't laugh!" He was upset at first, still horribly embarrassed, but Itadori's laughter was infectious and he couldn't hold back from cracking a smile himself.
"I'm sorry- We suck at this-" We? This was a we thing? Was that good?
"I've never done it before."
"Me neither."
"You haven't???"
Itadori started laughing again, set off by the surprise on Megumi's face. "No? I've never had a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend."
"A boyfriend?" This was the moment of truth for him. It still hadn't fully sunk in that he had kissed Itadori, but he needed to know what it meant. Was Itadori just experimenting? Was it a joke?
"I'm bisexual. Have I never told you that?"
"No..." This was quite possibly the best moment of his life. Top 5 at least.
"Let's kiss again."
"Yeah. Yeah, okay." He found the new best moment of his life when his lips met Itadori's again. The movie was playing in the background, forgotten in favor of each other. It was awkward and clumsy at first, but they figured it out eventually. Kind of. Of all the descriptions of kisses he head heard before, sparks, electricity, magic, none of it seemed enough to describe this. If Itadori pulled all the oxygen from his lungs and he suffocated to death right here he didn't think he would mind. Unfortunately, they did have to breathe eventually. They pulled away as little as they possibly could, foreheads still pressed together.
"You should be my boyfriend, Fushiguro."
"...I'm not Jennifer Lawrence."
Itadori started laughing again and Megumi could have sworn he felt sunlight hit his face.
"That's okay. I think you're better."
"...Yeah. I...want to be your boyfriend."
Itadori tackled him in a hug and Megumi stiffened for a moment before getting himself to relax and melt into Itadori's embrace. Maybe there wasn't anything wrong with him after all. This, all of this, was undeniably right.