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Regulus was 5 when he hated being alone.
He could feel the tears burning trails down his cheeks as he banged on his bedroom's door. With each scream he heard from downstairs he cried harder, begging kreacher, the butler, to unlock the bedroom door and let him out.
Kreacher didn't unlock the door until 4 hours later.
Regulus tried his hardest to not make a sound as he sneaked into his older brother's room.
Sirius laid on his bed, his eyes empty as he looked at the ceiling. Regulus hated seeing him like that.
His brother didn't flinch when he sat quietly at the edge of the bed, apologies stuck in the back of his throat because he knows Sirius hates it when he apologised. Instead, he asked in a soft voice if he could stay the night.
At any other time Sirius would laugh at him, saying he sleeps there more often than in his own room anyways, then why bother asking, but he does each night anyway.
As Sirius wordlessly moves aside to make him room, Regulus flinches to the sound of soft groans escaping his brother's sore throat.
"I'm fine" Sirius whispers in a raspy voice, feeling Regulus's gaze on him, smiling softly at his little brother.
Those words were apparently Regulus's eyes's breaking point because he could feel the stubborn tears filling his vision.
He's apologising over and over before his brother could open his mouth to tell him to stop being silly.
When he eventually calms down and lays next to Sirius, they stay in silence as Sirius drifts into sleep, exhausted from being punished earlier.
Regulus looks at his brother in the soft light of the nightstand lamp that Sirius had next to his bed, something he secretly bought because he noticed the way Regulus became anxious in the dark. Actually, Regulus wasn't scared of the dark. He became anxious because he couldn't see the other person with him.
The light reflecting on Sirius's sharp features relaxed the nerves in his body.
He sighed softly and drifted into deep sleep.
*****
Regulus was 10 when he hated being alone.
He was waiting on the bench outside of school, waiting for Sirius to come and pick him up so he could walk home with his brother.
Sirius was in 7th grade and Regulus was in 5th, therefore they were in different schools. Sirius's school being out of town caused Regulus to be home thirty minutes after he finishes school but he really did not care all that much.
Until his brother finally arrived, running, 20 minutes later then usual, looking rather messy and red in the face, Regulus was tapping his leg nervously.
The school guard, a nice guy named Rubeus, who always kept Regulus company during his wait, asked his brother why he left him waiting for a long time, Sirius briefly explained, still breathless, how there was a lot of traffic and he had to run a couple of streets so he can arrive as fast as he can.
As he mumbled his thanks to Rubeus for staying with him and starting the walk home, Sirius apologised for being late, giving him a nervous smile.
Regulus frowned at that and sighed. Why would his brother apologise? He did his best to get there fast just so Regulus would not have to walk home alone.
When he said that, Sirius brushed him off saying that it's something any brother would do, but Regulus knew better.
He didn't say it though, because his brother already began talking about his friends at school and what misfortune they caused to what teacher. This was Regulus's favourite time of the day, listening to Sirius talking about everything and nothing, speaking with a large grin. Regulus loved it when his brother smiled, knowing the house they were going to would not be a place full of smiles.
Regulus would wait as long as it takes just for those moments.
*****
Regulus was 14 when he hated being alone.
It was not getting easier and this time he can't even have his brother by his side.
His brother is a disgrace. His brother ruined the family's image. Or so, at least told him his parents.
Regulus would sit in his room and wonder how things have gotten this bad.
He knew deep inside that his brother was having a really hard time with their parents, his mistake was that he thought that it wasn't more than usual.
Sirius and Regulus were supposed to be a united front. They were supposed to be a team.
But Sirius left, Sirius broke, and the worst part was that Regulus didn't have any ground to blame him. Regulus was the one who betrayed him first.
Regulus was the one to distance himself away and abandon his brother Infront of the force of their parents.
So there was no reason for Sirius to stay. The regular beating had just grown more frequent the more opinions his brother decided to speak, so actually, it was his fault, he thought. Not Regulus's.
Sirius didn't leave, not really, their parents would never allow it, even though Sirius is a disgrace, they would never let their eldest son go, in fear of him farther tarnishing the family's honour.
So no, Regulus was not left behind, but by the look at his brother's sunken eyes, he was being left alone.
*****
Regulus was 16 when he hated being alone.
He could have never guessed this would be how this ends.
No, that's actually a lie.
He saw it in his brother's thin and hunched frame, he saw it in the way he would never meet his eyes, he saw it in the way he never expressed his disliked opinions at dinner table anymore, FOR FUCK'S SAKE he FELT it in the way they barely exchanged a word in the last two years.
And now, staring down at his brother in a stiff suit which he knew Sirius would have hated, laying there, looking at peace for the first time in years, Regulus broke down.
There was nobody there to comfort him.
Sirius was the best person he ever knew, he said so too, in the short speech he was allowed to say.
His parents said it was a heart attack but he knew better.
Sirius left Regulus behind for good.
As he watched the coffin being lowered into the ground, he had never felt more alone.