Chapter Text
It was a late night after a long shift at the Burger Prince. The homeowner was all too used to the feeling it had on her body. Her legs were weak from standing, and her mouth hurt from smiling at people hurling every single insult under the sun at her. Maybe if she was more awake, she’d chastise herself for brain rotting while brushing her teeth, but whatever. She worked nine hours with no break, the least she could have for herself was some screen time.
After a few minutes, she spat out the toothpaste residue in her mouth and swished some water back and forth. When she finished, she glanced at her red toothbrush. It hit the homeowner that she wasn’t exactly sure when the last time she replaced her toothbrush was. But after seeing how soft the bristles looked and the slight discoloration on the handle, she decided now was a good time to get a new one. With little regard, she tossed it into the trash can, then pulled out the multipack the red one came in.
Let’s see… pink, green, and blue. Ah, fuck it. She’s in a bit of a pink mood. She slides it out, puts it in the designated toothbrush cup, and puts the remaining two back in the sink’s drawer.
With the task of brushing her teeth done, she takes her phone to the bedroom to do some last minute scrolling before sleeping until noon. …Or until her next class. That BFA in Customer Service isn’t gonna earn itself!
---
“And so I said… Rainey, your music is bad, I think I’d actually rather listen to Jean Loo!”
Amir, River, and Bathsheba bursted out into laughter. It was a typical night in the upstairs bathroom. One where they all recounted the drama around the house, while Barry experimented with makeup and Jean Loo sulked in his corner. Sometimes, Lux would make an appearance, but they were gone tonight. Something about a social media stream addressing the “allegations.” Amir tried to convince Tyrell to join them as well. All he told him something about cleaning messes, not causing them… which was a perfectly respectful stance to have. But for now, they were just enjoying what should be a normal chat between friends.
“Ah, we shouldn’t bully the poor lady. She’s been through a lot,” Amir thoughtfully ponders, “but so have we, listening to her!”
Another wave of laughter. Bathsheba pours herself a glass of wine, and fills up River’s as well.
“That’s so fucked up!!” River takes a sip, and her body turns magenta. “Honestly. She gets enough shit as is.”
Bathsheba sighs and puts her head on her watery shoulder. “Then why did you laugh?”
“Because you’re fucked up!!”
Amir holds out his, and Bathsheba tops him off. She sighs and swishes her glass around like the socialite she is.
“Okay, enough about Rainey. I’m thinking of straightening my hair…”
“Hey. Hey, up here.”
All eyes go to the air vent. It actually shocked the three of them to hear anything come out of it at all. The HVAC was, for all intents and purposes, the house hermit. He was known to be very hard to talk to- both because he was difficult to get a hold of, and hold a conversation with. The only things he was interested in discussing was grate-based erotica and/or the homeowner. Bathsheba once tried to get her claws into him (after all, having the vents on her side would be an amazing way to hear about everything in the house!) but sadly, he wasn’t interested in her erotica.
Anyway, it was shocking to hear him actually talk to them. Amir was the first to respond.
“Ah! Hector. To what do we owe the pleasure?”
His tan fingers intertwined with each other. “Save the pleasantries. I’ll be out of your hair soon enough. All I ask of you is the contents of the trash can.”
As if on cue, Cam pops out of the trash can. Some stray used makeup wipes pop out and fall on Jean Loo, much to his annoyance. He’s halfway through an apple, and looks up to Hector with his usual apathy.
“Sorry, dude. Shit’s mine,” he takes another bite of the apple. “Besides. If I give the toothbrush to you, Fantina’s-”
“Don’t say her name!!”
The entire room goes silent. Hector’s nails were digging into the wall, and the usual bathroom dwellers were communicating through glances. Bathsheba puts her glass down and looks between them both.
“Fantina doesn’t know!?” she whispers.
“If you don’t give me the toothbrush, I will send an arctic blast to this room so cold-” They could feel the temperature dropping already, “so cold, that you’ll have no choice but to surrender the item to me.”
Another bite. “Mm. Yeah, I could just go to the kitchen. No vent in the kitchen, is there?”
“You little-!!”
“Hey guys!!”
The bathroom residents' heads swivel yet again to the door leading to the home gym. There, Fantina is standing with a bright smile and a beat up Dorian behind her. An insane amount of energy radiates from her stiff smile.
“Were you talking about something? I don’t know, I just- thought I heard someone mention something! Maybe about- something that someone could’ve possibly thrown away?!”
Amir and River look positively terrified. Bathsheba, of course, is beyond thrilled to witness such an event. Jean Loo, surprisingly, raises his fists in the air.
“Lil’ Crapper cannot plan his crapping under these conditions! You want to know what is happening? I will tell you, if you go away.”
“Aw!! That’s so sweet of you, Jean! I will absolutely go away and leave you alone if you tell me what’s happening. In explicit detail.”
Bathsheba glances up- the grates are shaking. Jean Loo smirks and points to Cam.
“This is an offer I can get behind! Okay. The homeowner, she threw out her old toothbrush. A red little thing. The freak in the vents wants to take it.”
“Oh!” Fantina’s hands cup into fists, and a deep shadow covers her face. Amir actually lets out a gasp as she steps forward. “But like, Hector hasn’t taken it, right? It’s still in Cam?”
“That it is.”
The sound of Fantina’s wires cracking could be heard as she looked up to the grates. Both of their gazes lock onto each other. There was a tense second of silence. Then there were two. Then three. Then-
Hector practically flung himself out of the grates, crashing himself into Bathsheba. She shrieked as she fell to the floor- River quickly decided to drain herself. As Fantina sprinted inside the bathroom, Amir yelped and scrambled through his mirror. Right as Hector was about to say something to Cam, Fantina tackled him to the ground with her shoulders and grabbed Cam with the force of a thousand K-pop stans.
“Cam. Cam. Hi!”
The vent took no time to rest, and got up to take Fantina down. She yelped, then kicked him in his blocky chest. Quickly, she was back up on her feet and shaking Cam.
“Cam. Cameron! Buddy! Look, I don’t ask for much-”
“Cam, I understand this must be a very hard choice for you to make. Both of us- well- no, both of us have very valid reasons for needing that toothbrush-”
“It’s a toothbrush?!”
Fantina gasped, and looked to Hector with horror.
“You were going to deny our amazing homeowner’s valuable artifact a home in my perfectly curated collection dedicated to her!? You MONSTER! You don’t care about her at all!!”
Hector’s eyes were full of red. He angrily shoved her into the sink. “How am I the monster?! You take everything from me! Not once, in the three years that you’ve been here, have I ever put up a fight against you taking her nail clippings!!”
“Because you get to take her hair!! That’s like- way more valuable! Now you get her toothbrush, too?”
“I do not possess the toothbrush! Cam does!!”
A moment of realization. Their heads both swivel to Cam. He’s uncharacteristically scared, and- actually- takes out the toothbrush. Both of their eyes dilate at the sight of it.
“Look- I’ll give you guys the toothbrush. In fact- I’ll do you one better, okay?” He nervously smiles, then winces when they start getting closer. “No! No. Stay RIGHT there. No one has to get hurt, alright?”
They both take his word. Probably because he’s the one with the power right now. Cam takes a deep breath.
“See? We’re all good. So, let’s have a nice, polite discussion like the adult objects we are-”
“Lil’ Crapper does not want to listen to that! Begone!”
Without warning, Jean Loo swipes the toothbrush and tosses it into the home gym. Fantina looks like she’s about to say something- but Hector wastes no time. He sprints into the room, grabs the toothbrush, and attempts to make his escape through the vents. A big smile stretches across his face. He’s done it! He’s actually going to-
Fuck. There’s a yoga mat.
His foot snags, and he smashes his face onto the floor. Fantina, very much delighted with this outcome, skips over to his limp body and takes the toothbrush. She dusts off the handle (where his disgusting hands touched, no doubt) with a pleased gleam in her eye.
“Well, looks like the trash took out itself! Now, where to put this-”
A shadow casts over her. Sadly, her time in the gym is enough to know exactly who it is. With a groan, she turns back to face the treadmill in all his seven foot tall glory. She’s also experienced enough to know that this is one of the very few opponents in the house she can’t defeat.
“Kristof…?”
The blond man only gives her a stern growl in reply. Behind him, she can see Dunk, Curt, and Rod watching with great anticipation.
“Fantina. What did I tell you about victory in unfair fights?”
“Probably something really lame that I wasn’t really paying attention to.”
Kristof kneels down, takes Hector by the collar, and stands him next to her. His nose is currently leaking coolant, but other than that he seemed perfectly okay! Aside from his swelling eye, of course.
“You both duel over such insignificant matters. Over a toothbrush! Look at yourselves. You are dueling for a piece of trash! Is that what you are reducing yourself to? Your lust for the human?!”
“You’re- how could I explain this in a way someone like you would understand…”
Hector sniffles up some coolant. Rage blows around in his head, and he has to restrain from blasting the room. So many things he could say wash around like waves in his mind, but Fantina beats him to the punch.
“You cannot be serious right now!”
They both turn to her. There’s a very Fantina-like sparkle in her eyes. “This isn’t about lust!! I mean, I think Hector’s kinda weird with his smutty fanfiction, but that’s not what this is about!!”
She puts her hands on her hips. “Look, it’s kinda unconventional to want someone’s toothbrush. I know that. But we’re fighting because we both love our super-amazing human! And although we can help her in our own ways, this toothbrush… it’s like, one of the few things that actually has HER on it. If you really truly love someone like me and Hector do, then… you’re okay fighting over something like this.”
At that last part, she can’t help but look over at Hector. There’s a moment of resonance between them. Camaraderie, even. She smiles at him, and, although he hesitates for a second, nods and smiles back. Then Rod's laughter fills the room and all eyes go to him.
“Damn, more like for the right to shove the girl’s toothbrush down your throat!”
He holds up a hand to Curt, who sighs but hi-fives him.
“Damn. That was kinda poetic. In a really messed-up way… but poetic.”
Kristof, similarly, seems moved by Fantina’s sentiment. The man actually nods, and looks wistfully behind them both.
“Hm. I misjudged both of your intentions… even though I have my doubts that it will, eventually, end up in a throat. Here. I think I know how to solve the problem.”
Without warning, he snaps it in half like a twig. Everyone in the room gasps. He hands both sides to the objects in front of him with a proud look on his face. In one, there’s the handle, and the other, the brush. Both of the homeowner’s lovers stare at his large fists with pure horror. In fact, it probably would’ve scarred them less if it was one of Mateo’s inanimals he snapped in half.
“There! Enough love to go around.”
“Oh my god!! You didn’t just do that!! That was a priceless artifact for the shrine…”
Fantina drones on. Hector simply looks to the side presented to him. It’s the side with the bristles. The side that has been able to taste her for over six months now. This small little object has, and will ever, taste more of her than he can ever dream of. Not unless she somehow got a pair of magical glasses to see all the objects in her house for what they were. But he couldn’t take it now, could he? Not after Fantina defended him like that. He couldn’t. That would be…
…A drop of water falls from the bristles. Or was it saliva?
Eh. What’s a few more enemies in this house?
Hector somehow manages to punk the brush from Kristof’s fist and makes a mad dash for the vent.
“Wh- You!! You jerk!!”
Fantina sprints after him, and jumps on him from behind. The toothbrush flies out of his hand, and lands at Dunk’s cleats. Both of them stare at him with shock, then start shouting at him.
“Dunk!! Dunk, c’mon!! We’re roommates! Pals!! You totally want to give it to me!!”
“Dunk, I know we haven’t spoken much, but I’ve always admired your athleticism-”
Fantina is the first to get up, and starts walking towards him like a predator would its prey. He winces, but his face relaxes when he looks behind him.
“Look guys, this is for your own good! You might be a little mad, but-”
She’s not hearing a word she’s saying. Before she can make a move, he lobs it over her head, and straight into Rod’s hands. Curt opens the window with a sympathetic look on his face.
“I’m really sorry about this, Fantina! I hope we can still be chill!”
“Yeah, well, I ain’t. Sayonara, toothbrush!”
Rod throws it out the window. Him and Curt watch as it lands unceremoniously onto the grass. Before long, all of the gym is looking out into the backyard. Rod and Kristof are more apathetic to the sight, while Fantina looks utterly destroyed. Tears start streaming down her face. Curt places a hand on her shoulder.
“Hey, I’m sure-”
She swats him away. “You guys are such big meanies! How could you do that to me?! And how could you-”
Hector, who had quietly been returning to his vents, looks back at her.
“How could you do that, after I stood up for you?! I didn’t have to do that, you know!!”
He opens the grate, then looks over his shoulder.
“Oh, really? If I didn’t know about the toothbrush, you would’ve kept it for yourself. Can you honestly tell yourself, right now, that if I didn’t catch wind of it, you would’ve told me?”
She sputters a bit, but then realization sets in.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought, too.”
As he returned to his home in the vents, she turned around and looked back out at the toothbrush. Her cheeks were flushed, and she hated how everyone’s gaze burned onto her. She heard Dunk tell them that she needed alone time. Just then, Fantina was reminded of how ostracized she felt at the discount store before the homeowner took her to this warm, wonderful house. Before she was here, she was an outcast among outcasts not good enough to sell at full price. How could she not be infatuated with the one thing in the world that loved her enough to do that?
Her mind swirled with thoughts of the homeowner, whether or not Hector was right, and the toothbrush in the yard. Eventually, she fell asleep on the edge of the window, and was only awoken when the midday sun hit her tearful face.