Chapter Text
"Men are pigs," Hope complains as Kelley picks up her phone call. A guy was flirting with her on a coffee shop but then he got a call from someone who was definitely not his sister. Hope left before he even tried to make up an excuse.
"You should give up on men and only date women," Kelley answers without missing a beat.
Hope rolls her eyes even if Kelley can't see her. "Oh because women are better? They don't sleep with someone and never call them again?" She accuses Kelley, who has always said that she's "allergic" to long term relationships.
"Maybe," Kelley admits, "but you wouldn’t have to fake an orgasm ever again. That's a plus."
Hope chuckles. They've already had this same conversation a thousand times since they met on Kelley’s first national camp, especially now that they’re also club teammates.
"That would be an improvement," Hope plays along.
"I'm glad you called actually. There's something I need to talk to you about."
"Shoot." Hope relaxes on her couch and with her free hand she pets Flabby Panther.
"Are you home? I can pick up some take out and be there in forty minutes."
"Yeah sure," Hope agrees.
They hang up and Hope is left wondering what it is that Kelley wants to talk to her about but she won't say over the phone.
Almost an hour later there's an incessant buzzing on her doorbell.
"Do you have to do that every time you come over?" Hope asks annoyed.
"Of course." Kelley almost pushes her out of the way and goes straight to the kitchen. By the time Hope gets to the kitchen Kelley is serving the food in two plates.
"You bought Thai food? I thought you hated it."
"I do but it's your favorite," Kelley responds while she grabs two beers from the fridge.
"You want something." Hope figures out the food is just an attempt to butter her up.
"We should eat while it's still warm." Kelley blatantly ignores her and takes her food to the couch.
Normally Hope would demand to know immediately what Kelley is up to but the food smells delicious so she gives in for now.
Kelley doesn't try to make Hope watch one of her trashy reality shows. Whatever favor she's going to ask for must be huge.
Hope is done with her food before Kelley, who seems to be eating slower than usual.
"Come on Kell, just tell me already," Hope says impatiently while Kelley finishes her beer.
"Ok but hear me out, don't say no right away."
Hope signals her to keep talking.
"Next week is my grandparent’s 60th wedding anniversary and I might have told my mom I was bringing someone."
"Kelley..." Hope warns her because she doesn't like where this is going.
"Don't ‘Kelley’ me! This is your fault!"
"How is it my fault?" Hope exclaims incredulously.
"Last Saturday you kept buying me shots. So when my mom called me on Sunday I was too hungover to know what I was agreeing to." Last week they went out with the entire Seattle team. A decision she deeply regretted Sunday morning.
"You've never had a problem getting a date before," Hope points out.
"True," Kelley concedes, "but it can’t be some random date. I promised my mom I would go with my girlfriend and she was thrilled to know I was in a relationship again."
"But why me? Why don't you ask Christen or Alex?"
"My parents know Chris and they would never believe we're together. Alex is too straight. Tobin doesn't like to lie. Ali and Ashlyn are too in love," Kelley checks off with her fingers. "You're my only hope Hope."
Hope is unimpressed with Kelley's alliteration but she's not immune to Kelley's puppy eyes. Hope knows how much Kelley’s family means to her and she gets why she doesn’t want to disappoint them. Still a part of her thinks it would be better for everyone if she refuses.
“What happens if they find out the truth?”
“They won’t, we can keep up the act for four days. Besides, people already assume we’re together,” Kelley points out.
Hope sighs. "You owe me way more than just takeout."
"Yes!" Kelley jumps up in celebration. Flabby Panther wakes up at the noise and meows angrily. Kelley picks up the cat, "did you hear that Flabby Panther? I'm going to be your new mommy." The cat manages to escape to the bedroom but not before throwing an accusatory look at Hope, probably judging her taste in friends.
"When do we have to leave?" Hope asks resigned.
The details of their trip don't take long to figure out. Kelley is going to buy Hope's plane ticket for her and they set their departure date.
Next Friday night Hope is going to be in Georgia, having dinner with Kelley's family as her girlfriend.
According to Hope's calculations there are about a hundred different ways this could go wrong.