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Emmeline had always been a daughter first. First born daughter, the eldest daughter.
Proper, smart, and beautiful. The eldest of three.
The title held weight, held power. She never knew why but she knew it did. The way people looked at her, talked to her, treated her, it told her a lot about what it meant to be first born.
They spoke to her as if she was older, more mature. Better than at the age of twelve. It made her feel important.
She grew to find out that she loved feeling important.
Emmeline was born to a kind wonderful family. A loving mother, a caring father. A perfect family to the eyes of strangers.
She had the ideal life.
The perfect daughter, to the perfect parents, belonging to a perfect family.
Except her mother no longer loved her father. A truth she never knew until she was much older. I did everything I could to keep it from you. As if she hadn’t heard the fights, hadn’t witnessed the cruelty with her own eyes.
She would’ve preferred to know that they had fallen out of love rather than believing what she saw was love. Damaged and twisted.
They were together but separated a long time ago.
They never got a divorce, took too much money so instead they just went their separate ways. Told her to choose. She was seven and was forced to take a side.
It was guilt that led her to stay with her mother.
No, it wasn't just her mother, it was her mother and her little sister. They came together.
Her mother had always been kind to her. Made her feel as if her thoughts, her words were important, and Emmeline loved that. In her eyes it was so easy to just be heard, but to be acknowledged by an adult was everything.
Her mother was what she aspired to be like at times.
Always in control, always aware of everything. It was one of the reasons she ended up staying with her mother. She was always on top of everything , made her feel seen, acknowledged, and worth it.
Her mother always made sure to show up for her school events even when she was working, she always made an attempt.
The same couldn't be said for her father.
She can’t even think of a time where he remembered her birthday on his own.
Her father had a habit of treating her like a child. She never liked that.
The guilt however was something she could never really understand though.
It always came down to her little sister.
She didn’t know better, and her mother would have such a hard time taking care of her by herself. She had always relied on Emmeline in a way she never could with her father.
He didn’t know how to make a bottle, how to change her little sister, how to put her to sleep or soothe her nightmares. No, Emmeline knew all of that, and sometimes even knew more than her mother because she didn’t know that her little sister didn’t like food with soggy textures or that she only liked drinking out of actual mugs and not sippy cups anymore.
It made her feel good ,feel better than all the adults. She knew all of these things, and could do them better than adults. It practically meant she was an adult.
She understood at that age that she was important. She was the perfect daughter. She was someone her mother could be proud of.
But that extends beyond just being a good sister. Emmeline made sure she was the best at everything. Academic, extracurriculars, even her social circle. Emmeline Vance was a name that was meant to be known.
Twelve and the top of her class in mathematics. Fourteen with nothing but perfect grades. Twenty and studying to become perfect.
Emmeline was proud of her accomplishments, she worked hard for them.
Yet there was still something of her that was not perfect. It didn't fit into that image that she was desperately clinging on to.
Her mother always told her ‘study hard to get a career, then find a man to marry that will take care of you. Don’t make the same mistakes as me.’
But what if she didn’t want to marry a man. What if the idea disgusted her?
What if she had dreams of kissing a girl?
What would her mother think of her perfect daughter then?
Emmeline was eight when she noted there was something different about her.
It wasn’t really big. Not really something that jumped out at her when she thinks about it now but all the signs were there. The first time she thought boys were disgusting.
All the girls thought that. At that age it was more weird to not think they were disgusting and yet her friend still managed to have crushes. Boys that were older, older brothers of classmates, older students at their schools.
At some point all the girls had developed crushes on one boy or another.
All except Emmeline.
She didn’t know what she was supposed to think or feel when you talked about a crush. The way her friends explained it was confusing. She didn’t understand why anyone would want to have a crush if your stomach filled up with butterflies. That seemed more like a medical problem.
How would butterflies even get into her stomach?
Would she have to eat caterpillars?
Then someone asked her if she had a crush, and she didn't want to be left out again. It wasn’t fair that they all ate caterpillars and didn’t tell her. So she lied and said yes. She thought that’s where it would end. She had a crush on a boy. She was just like them now.
Except then they asked who, and Emmeline just said the first name that came to mind.
Sirius Black, everyone had a crush on Sirius Black.
He was pretty, but he was pretty like girls were pretty.
He had long hair that he would wear in a pony tail when he was playing with his friends, so sometimes when you weren’t paying attention Sirius looked like a girl. Emmeline had liked it. She liked seeing Sirius as a girl. Sirius as a girl would be very pretty. More pretty than he already was.
It wasn’t until she met Pandora Rosier that she discovered what everyone meant with the butterflies.
Pandora was pretty. She was more pretty than Sirius. She was more pretty than the girl version of Sirius that Emmeline sometimes thought about. No, Pandora was really, really pretty.
No pretty wasn’t even the right word.
Magical, ethereal. So many other words that Emmeline couldn’t even think about then. Words she didn't even know existed.
Pandora smiled and Emmeline wanted to have her smiling at her all the time. The little butterflies in her stomach always flying whenever they were close. Emmeline grew to love that feeling.
She grew to love knowing Pandora’s eyes would always be on her. Like it when they became best friends and Pandora would always hold her hand when they were walking. Liked that Pandora only talked to her when she wanted to talk. Liked that Pandora liked her.
It was always Emmeline and Panorda.
Sharing snacks, trading flowers. Talking about what it would be like to be an adult and be married and have kids. Emmelie didn’t mind the idea of marrying someone if it was Pandora.
Then Pandora told her something that would break her little child heart.
“I’m going to marry Peter Pettigrew when I'm older.”
Emmeline only focused on those words and not the annoyed rambling from Pandora as she told Emmeline how her twin brother proceeded to tell Peter and had both of them blushing.
“-and he said he would do it if I don't find someone else to marry before then.”
“And will you marry someone else?”
Pandora shrugged, “I don’t think so. Peter already said he would marry me. Why look for someone else?”
Heartbreak at eight was one thing. It was a playground crush, something that would easily be forgotten. Being heartbroken by her own family was something she wasn't sure she would ever be able to understand.
Her youngest sister was born when she was thirteen.
A lot of things changed when Emmeline turned thirteen.
Her body wasn't the same, her feelings were never stable. She hated the world, hated noise, hated color. Hated her baby sister for taking away her mother’s attention.
It wasn’t normal to hate a baby. In fact it was fucking crazy.
This was also new to her. Cursing, saying bad words in English.
Her mother only cursed in her mother tongue. For the longest time Emmeline hadn’t known the curse words in English, her mother didn’t allow her to watch many movies in English.
Barty Crouch Jr. was the one to blame for this new information she now used at school and during classes. He was her best friend. The best friend that replaced Pandora when she became more of a sister, instead of a mix of strange emotions that Emmeline always pushed to the back of her head whenever she looked at Pandora too long.
Barty was new. He was interesting. He showed her another way of life that she had never thought to explore all because he hated his father.
“No point in being the good kid if he never thinks your good enough.”
And maybe that’s why she did it, started acting up.
Her grades never slipped; she didn’t let them. Worked too hard to have the best grades, but she did act up here and there. Followed many of Barty’s crazy plans and watched as he took the fall for many of them and still never got the attention of his father.
Sometimes she felt bad for him. Other times she understood him.
She wished her mother had the time to look over her high scores during exams like she used to. She missed the praise, the late night conversations. She missed her mother’s full attention.
Emmeline didn’t notice when her mannerisms from school slowly began to trickle their way into her home life.
The way she rolled her eyes, the way she talked back and began to defy her mother. She hadn’t noticed any of it until she cursed out loud in front of her mother.
They had been speaking normally, then she said something her mother hadn’t approved of and Emmeline had already gotten used to fighting adults. She was used to arguing with them and them backing down with a smile because an angry Emmeline was better than a quiet one.
But her mother hadn’t known that side of her.
She wasn’t aware that Emmline was always ready to start a fight these days. That her menstrual cycle was still so strange to her and anything was enough to set her in a rage.
Emmeline had never been hit. Her mother wasn’t the type to do that.
The slap she received was a shock to them both.
Her mother didn’t apologize. She’s never had too before.
Emmeline felt her face grow hot. Her cheek burned and a wave of humiliation ran down her body. Tears in her eyes, but she refused to cry.
That was the last time Emmeline ever felt comfortable expressing her emotions around her mother.
Dorcas Meadows was beautiful to put it simply.
She had managed to figure out everything she wanted to do right at the age of fifteen when Emmeline was still trying to figure out how she’d like to style her hair.
Adolescence was all about learning about oneself, but the only thing Emmeline cared about was being better than Barty.
They were always in competitions with one another, who would be the top of the class, who could do the most without getting caught. It was always a game with Barty. Nothing was ever serious, Barty didn’t have anything figured out so Emmeline never felt pressured to figure things out.
That was until Barty and Evan got together.
Emmeline always knew that Barty would do anything to go against his father, and that included messing around with boys in ways that weren't considered acceptable.
He never shied away from the topic, in fact he encouraged Emmeline to ask questions. “I love any excuse to talk about my pretty little toys.”
Except when she asked, Barty directly told her Evan wasn’t a toy.
“No Em, I’m going to marry that man. Even if it’s the last thing I do.”
And like that Emmeline felt eight and confused because how did Barty already know what he wanted to do with his life. Why was Emmeline behind once again.
Dorcas was like a breath of fresh air with the ease she talked about her plans for the future.
She had nearly everything planned out. It made her jealous.
She worked just as hard as Dorcas, no even more than her and still she couldn’t reach whatever next level Dorcas had been able to unlock to know everything she wanted to do once school was over.
It ate at Emmeline. Having someone be better than her.
It was bad enough that Dorcas was prettier, now she was more mature than her.
It killed her. Tore her apart from the inside and made her desperate to find what exactly Dorcas had done to reach this enlightened version of herself. How did she make herself look so composed, so effortless?
Barty called it a crush, Emmeline called him an idiot.
It wasn’t a crush, it was a fascination. A curiosity that would be satisfied when she discovered all her truths.
Evan called it an obsession, Emmeline told him he was crazy.
She wasn't obsessed, and she most definitely wouldn't be obsessed over a girl whose relaxed expression made everyone question if they had wronged her.
Pandora calls it denial, Emmeline doesn’t respond with anything. No matter what she were to say, it would prove Pandora right and Emmeline hated when Pandora was right.
“Are you still going to marry Pettigrew?”
“Are you still going to lie about your feelings?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Except she did, because a few weeks back she confessed while drunk that she had wanted to marry Pandora as a child. That she wanted them to live together and raise babies and have all the pet frogs she wanted.
Everyone thought she had been joking. Only Pandora remained silent as she stared because she understood, she knew.
“Try being friends with her. It would probably be easier to find her secrets that way.”
And maybe she was still drunk when she agreed because it was only seconds later that Emmeline took a chance and asked Dorcas to be her friend, and surprisingly enough Dorcas agreed.
It was a slow start, getting Dorcas to trust her. As it turns out Dorcas didn’t trust many.
“I’ve trusted the wrong people before. I’m not repeating that mistake.”
It made Emmeline curious over her new friend. What secrets was she hiding to make her so defensive. What caused her to push Emmeline away when they were so similar?
Two years of friendship and Emmeline still didn’t know her secret.
They were Cas and Em, known around the school as the duo to follow. They were pretty, popular and overall the constant talk of the school. They were at the top of the social ladder. Got invited to every party.
They were perfect.
Of course it was Emmeline who had to ruin it.
One party, one two many drinks. A stupid game of spin the bottle, wild flutter in her stomach and a giggling Emmeline crawling on Dorcas lap and kissing her like it wasn’t their first time when it was. And Emmeline hadn’t stopped with one kiss.
Dorcas had pulled out from the circle, pulled her into the kitchen and gave her water.
She waited until Emmeline was sober and confessed to her.
“Em, I like girls.”
And Emmeline laughed, because even with the water she was still drunk, and it was all so confusing because there were butterflies but she also wanted to throw up.
Dorcas stopped talking to her after that night, and Cas and Em were no more.
Emmeline’s never dated anyone before. She didn't know what it was like to break up with someone, but the way people described it was a lot like what it felt knowing she wouldn't be able to talk to Dorcas as freely as she used to.
They shared the same friends.
It was Evan and Pandora mostly, but Barty and Regulus were also there. Still though, they were tied to their own person. Barty being best friends with Emmeline and Regulus being best friends with Dorcas. But it got complicated when Evan who was much closer to Dorcas was dating Barty and Pandora who was closer to Emmeline was practically dating Regulus.
It was all so weird. Being in the same circles and never talking.
Emmeline often found herself instinctively looking for Dorcas, hoping for an excuse to help her get dressed or have her fix her make up. Maybe hoping that enough time would pass so that they could go back to before. Sharing clothes and dancing together.
Emmeline missed before, she wanted it back.
Then Dorcas started dating Marlene McKinnion and Emmeline fucking hated her.
Dorcas or Marlene she didn’t really know. Maybe it was both, maybe it wasn’t either of them and it was just Emmeline being jealous of the fact that Marlene got to have all the attention that had once belonged to Emmeline.
They shared clothes, they fixed each other’s make up, held hands. They kissed. They kissed often and in front of everyone all the time.
It disgusted her, the way Marlene would hold Dorcas, pull her close. She would pull on her hair and it pissed Emmeline off because Dorcas hated having her hair touched. How did Marlene not know that?
Marlene didn’t deserve to be with Dorcas. She was too– too– something.
Emmeline couldn't put her finger on it but she knew there was something strange about Marlene. There was something strange about Dorcas with Marlene.
What was wrong with her?
Why hadn’t she spoken to Emmeline? She could’ve convinced her to be with someone better.
“She said that you laughed at her when she came out to you Em. You don’t do that shit to someone.”
But she wasn’t being mean, hell she barely even remembered what happened the night of the fight.
“She thinks you hate her for being a lesbian.”
But how could she hate her. She was friends with Barty, and Barty would fuck anything with a pulse if he really wanted too.
“It’s different for her Em, you know that.”
And she did. So why the fuck was Dorcas with Marlene of all people. Stupid fucking captain of whatever fucking sport team she likes. She had nothing in common with Dorcas. Marlene didn’t understand what it was like to be them. Didn’t know how hard it was, what it took.
Stupid fucking Marlene who was always able to speak her mind and never be afraid of being treated differently like Emmeline and Dorcas had.
Fucking Marlene who still had both her parents and got accepted for everything.
Fucking Marlene who kissed Dorcas all the time and touched her and talked to her and so many more things that Emmeline did first because Dorcas was her best friend.
Stupid fucking Marlene McKinnion.
She wanted to hurt her.
Kissing dorcas all the time. In front of everyone.
It was probably her fault Dorcas didn’t talk to her any more. It's her fault they never hung out together. Fucking Marlene who ruined everything she had with Dorcas. It was her fucking fault.
She ruined everything, ruined them. Ruined Dorcas because why else would Dorcas leave her if not because of Marlene McKinnon?
It starts with Dorcas.
She pulls away, doesn't talk, doesn't look at her. Refuses to speak to her. To Emmeline it’s complete and total rejection of all they were.
They were best friends, tied together. Her only safe point within a sea of uncertainty. Her shining light in the dead of night. Dorcas was secure, she never made her feel as if she was floating a drift. She always reassured her that her uncertainty, her inability to know everything was okay because she was still human at the end of the day.
She was still Emmeline. Not the perfect daughter, not the perfect human. Just Emmeline.
Regulus was next to go. He followed Dorcas. They were never really close. Only ever studying together and joking about their siblings and bonding over the high expectations that were placed on them by their mothers.
She wasn’t all that shocked when he stopped talking to her.
It hurt a little when Evan started distancing himself.
She had always thought that they had a much closer bond than that. Never wanting to fight that Evan Rosier, only likes to watch from the sideline. An observer, a mediator in their group of conflicting personalities.
She heard him talk to Barty once, when they thought she wasn’t around.
“It’s not healthy Bee, the way she’s constantly talking about Cas and Marls. It’s bordering on obsessive.”
“Ev, I’m obsessive. She’s just venting out her frustrations. She doesn’t know.”
“That's no excuse. I don’t like that she’s like that about Marlene when she’s never met her. Refuses to meet her.”
“Ev--”
“No, if she’s like that with Cas in front of us, I don’t want to know what she thinks about us.”
“She’s my best friend Rosie.”
“Well, she’s definitely changed from when I met her.”
And of course it came back to stupid fucking Marlene McKinnon
Pandora didn’t leave but she might as well have. Always the first to leave the conversation when Emmeline was going to start speaking. Always with a sad smile. Always with an apology.
“I know you’re heartbroken Em, but that doesn't mean you have to break everyone else's hearts to make yourself feel better. I promise you time will heal you. You just have to be willing to let it.”
She stopped visiting as often and now only waved from a distance. Holding hands with Peter Pettigrew, a small delicate ring on her finger. She hadn’t known Peter had already given her that ring he had promised her so long ago.
Barty hurt.
He left like a blazing fire. Fought his way out of her life the same way he had fought his way in.
She didn’t know she was capable of so many tears.
“You think you’re so fucking special. Always fighting to be known, to be acknowledged because mommy forgot she had three daughters instead of two.”
“Fuck you. At least I don’t have to stick my dick in every living person because my dad thinks I’m a disappointment."
“You fucking wished you’re father thought of you.”
“Right, the same way you’re always thinking about leaving Evan because he won’t let you fuck him. How does it feel knowing you’re not wanted in the only way people ever want you.”
That’s what killed them. Not the insults against him but the comment about Evan.
“You can say all the shit you want Emmeline, but at least I don’t hide who I am. The fact that you can’t admit you’re attracted to girls speaks a lot about you, and I’m sick of hoping that one day that will change.”
When they graduated Emmeline wasn’t cheered as loudly as for the others. She didn’t have anyone other than her family to hug. No one to say goodbye to, no party she was invited to attend.
On one end of the courtyard she watched as her once friends all huddled together to take a picture.
Only Pandora smiled at her, but Emmeline couldn’t find it in herself to smile back.
Life after school was different. She was all work and study.
They would rarely see her at home sometimes. From the library to work, from classes to work.
And still that didn’t mean she was too busy to keep from her duties at home
“Em, can you go to the store?”
“Em, your sister needs a ride.”
“Mind taking care of your sister for a couple of hours.”
“Be a dear and buy something to eat for the girls.”
Emmeline Vance was always doing one thing or another. Never had time for herself, always tired. It really is no surprise that she developed the habits she did.
“Emmeline I know you're running late but please stop speeding.”
“Mom wants to know what you’ve eaten since she hasn’t seen you in the kitchen all day.”
“Darling, stop staying up so late, you’re getting dark circles.”
“I don't want to see you locked up in that room anymore, Emmeline. It’s not good for you.”
Such is the price of perfection. If beauty means pain, perfection requires sacrifices. And the thing Emmeline sacrificed was her voice.
She was now nothing more than a passive observer to her own life. Watching her family continue to need her and never truly question why she’s become more pliant, more willing to play nice with them.
“You’ve finally matured Emmeline. I'm so proud of you.”
And how fucked was it that she still swelled with pride when she heard those words.
No longer was she the girl that would cause mischief for entertainment. Now she was the one who watched as the world moved around her while she was stuck in place.
Pandora got married, but not to Peter, although they were still together, but to a guy she had never known existed.
Barty and Evan were traveling, breaking laws at every stop.
Dorcas and Marlene were still together and now had a cat. Marlene has Dorcas' name tattooed on her and Dorcas has a ring on her finger and an engagement party set for next month. She wasn’t invited.
How heartbreaking.
She didn’t speak unless she was spoken to at work, sometimes even at home if she was feeling a little defiant, but it didn’t usually last long.
“Oh please Lil’s, not being financially literate is totally not attractive. You need to start over. Get rid of this one and find a new one. Don’t you think so Emmeline?”
Her name was Mary Macdonald and she was very social, and pretty. Objectively speaking.
“Please don’t involve her in my love life. It’s bad enough that I have you judging me for dating someone who’s a few years older.”
“Five years older, that's like half a decade. You started dating when you've just entered university and she’s already ended with it. You’re in two different stages in your life.”
“But it’s love Mary.”
“It's a delusion. Come on Emmeline, speak some truth to her. Break this fantasy bubble she’s created for herself.”
And it was weird to be asked to join the conversation when it’s been years since she’s last spoken to someone who wasn’t her family in a casual setting.
“I mean, so long as it’s not your money being spent.”
And Mary groaned and Lily squealed as she hugged Emmeline close.
“You just became my new favorite co-worker.”
Emmeline laughed and Mary stared at her in surprise. Her head tilted a little to the side as she smiled at her beautifully.
“I’ve never heard you laugh before. You have a very pretty laugh.”
Emmeline could’ve sworn that those butterflies died a long time ago.
They’ve been working together for about a year now, although it usually didn't feel like. Sometimes it felt like there never was a time before Lily and Mary.
They knew a lot about each other.
Emmeline knew that Lily and Mary were best friends since elementary school. They both lived in the same neighborhood and often hang out outside of work. Mary is a year older and fluent in Spanish. youngest daughter in a house full of boys. She was spoiled and entitled and Emmeline loved those things about her.
She was also bisexual.
Emmeline hadn’t known what that meant. She felt stupid for not knowing, was embarrassed when she was forced to admit. She hated feeling stupid. Hated feeling like she was out of the loop or being left out.
Mary didn’t seem offended when she asked about it.
“Have you seriously never considered your sexuality?”
Barty’s words came back to her, and she remained silent.
“I had a friend who was dating a boy. And I had another friend who only dated girls, but like that was normal for them. I just didn’t know that was something other people did.”
Mary shrugged at her.
“I mean you don’t need permission to kiss a boy, so why should I need permission to kiss a girl.”
And it was stupid, what she said.
‘I’ve never kissed a boy.”
Why would Mary care?”
“Have you ever kissed a girl?”
And the air froze in front of her because her mind went dark. Just the vaguest impression of a messy kiss on the floor of a house party she barely remembered.
“I don’t remember.”
And Mary laughed.
“A drunk dare. Trust me those don’t compare. I could show you.”
And Emmeline hated how easy it was to have Mary looking at her with those pretty eyes and have her heart skip a beat.
Stupid fucking butterflies.
She said yes before she had registered it.
And Mary was pulling her close, holding her face and pressing her lips to Emmeline’s. She didn’t know if she was supposed to feel as if she was floating but she wanted more of that feeling. The warmth of her mouth on hers.
Mary pulled back and Emmeline couldn’t help but chase after that feeling. Soft and comforting and everything she didn't know she wanted. The taste of cigarette smoke and her cherry flavored lip gloss.
For some reason this caused Mary to giggle.
“Calm down. It’s just one kiss. I don’t want you to start proposing.”
And Emmeline felt herself flush in embarrassment, which in turn caused Mary to laugh more.
“I know you like me, Emmeline.”
Her heart sank.
“You don’t hide it very well, in fact I'm quite surprised Lily hasn’t said anything about it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m the one who has to apologize, I kissed you.”
There was silence between them.
“I like Lily, you know.’
“But I thought–”
“She’s still dating that rich girl she met, but it doesn’t mean I don’t still like her. It’s my own fault for not telling her beforehand. I had plenty of opportunities but I was more scared of ruining our friendship.”
Emmeline felt those flutters die. She wouldn’t miss them.
“Now, all I can do is be happy for her and wish her all the love she deserves.”
Emmeline couldn’t help but think about that ring on Pandora’s finger.
Once upon a time, she had also liked Pandora, wanted to marry her and now she couldn't be more happy that she, Peter and whoever else, were together. Why had it been so hard for her to accept that Dorcas was moving on with her life.
“Doesn’t that make you hate her, Lily's girlfriend?”
Mary shrugged, her finger lifting up the cigarette in her hand up to her lips.
Emmeline remembers seeing Evan and Barty smoking. Mary didn't do it like they did, she didn’t breathe it in like she needed the nicotine, just held it in her mouth. As if she was doing it out of habit.
“No point. She already has what I want, and as her best friend my only job is to ensure that no one makes Lily cry.”
Emmeline hummed non committedly, which got Mary to pull her into a hug and kiss the top of her head.
“It’ll pass sweetheart, I promise.”
And for once Emmeline didn’t feel completely alone.
It took some time for Emmeline to gain the courage to message Panorda. Five months, three weeks and four days exactly since she had that conversation.
She wasn’t avoiding it, she just never found the words, and none of Lily's suggestions made her feel better. If it had been Mary who took the phone and started calling the whole thing probably wouldn't have happened until another couple years.
Not that she regretted it now.
She always knew Pandora would be the first one she would reach out to. She always remained in contact, always so willing, she had been to keep in communication over the years. Every Christmas, every birthday, she would receive happy wishes from her despite the fact Emmeline rarely answered.
Yet, Pandora had been more than willing to receive her in her home.
Emmeline wasn’t even surprised when she found two kids running around like they owned the place and a baby was being rocked to sleep by a girl Emmeline didn’t recognize.
‘Please ignore the mess. I tried to keep it clean for you but the twins have been on a sugar high for a few hours now.”
“I thought you only wanted one kid. Where did these guys come from?”
“Barty and Evan if you can believe it.”
She couldn’t. Barty and Evan had never seemed like the time that would settle down and become parents.
“Well, a lot of things have changed since the last time we saw each other, Em. We didn’t all remain stuck in our old ways of thinking.”
And it hurts a little to think that Pandora still saw her as that girl from school that was mean to everyone including her friends. Not to say she didn’t understand. Emmeline had become cruel in those last few weeks of their friendship. She thinks it would’ve been worse if they had remained in the strangely complicated relationship they were all in.
“Tell me about them. How are they, what are they doing? When did they get the kids? Where are they?”
And so many more questions she really had no right to ask, but still wanted to know because even though it’s been so long and things had ended terribly she still missed her best friend.
They didn’t speak about Dorcas that day, or the next day when she came back.
She became a topic they avoid much like the reason why Barty and Evan are gone so often or where Regulus is located these days.
Slowly but surely she had begun to find her way back into that friendship she had moved with Pandora. She was still cautious about what she shared, never talking about her partners. Emmeline respected it.
It didn't mean she didn’t know anything about her life. She often got really expressive when she talked about her daughter. Her one daughter, Luna. She was legally married to a man by the name of Xenophilius, but was still with Peter. Complicated if Emmeline cared enough to comment on but it wasn’t her place.
Then there was that girl that Emmeline couldn’t stop thinking about.
“Oh right, Em, this is Amelia Bones. She’s our nanny and is our life saver when the twins come in.”
Emmeline laughed a little and so had Amelia. She had a nice laugh.
And what was really surprising was that the twins loved her, not that Pandora would let her think about it for too long.
“You come by every day practically. They know you by the sound of your car I swear.”
And it was cute these two little monsters running around, giggling and fighting at all hours of the day.
It was strange being held in such a high standing once again. She was so used to being equals she forgot how addicting the feeling was.
And yet it's Amelia who pulls her back.
Amelia with short hair and bangs and her cute little button nose. The kids all loved her. She was just so magnetizing that at times Emmeline would forget about Pandora and look over at Amelia.
“The kids want ice cream, do you want to join?"
And the way she smiled, the way she curled around the baby while the twins were carefully hiding behind Amelia skirt was what made it so easy to say yes to her. Then one trip to the ice-cream shop became a walk around the neighborhood.
ANd one day became five, and she had begun scheduling her days around Amelia free time.
It was surprisingly one of the highlights of her week.
They talked a lot, gossip about their current lives. Never the before, it was too soon, too soon for what she didn't know but she just felt it when she made eye contact with her and received a smile as a reward.
“I think Mary’s finally dating someone.”
“Oh that’s nice to hear. I thought that she had given up on dating altogether."
Emmeline shrugged.
“Mary’s strange like that, but on the bright side she’s exploring her options. I’m glad she gave dating a try again. “
“And what about you?”
“What about me?”
Amelia stopped pushing the stroller and held it close when she stood in front of Emmeline.
“Yes, what about you Emmeline Vance? Have you considered dating?”
Emmeline hummed in surprise.
“You know I never thought about it. Maybe I should.”
She laughed but Amelia didn’t join her. Instead her expiration grew a little more serious and she looked up at Emmelina with those big kind eyes of hers,
“Would you consider going on a date with me?”
And for a second, a split second, Emmeline felt soft flutters in her stomach.