Work Text:
Maybe lets get it straight.
I hate being a man.
James "Jamie" Madison.
Hates being a man.
Crazy, right?
I try to be as feminine as I can.
But, its still not there.
I cant look at myself in the mirror, I cant look at my body.
No.
It makes me feel horrible.
Why cant I JUST be myself?
The REAL me.
What if I just-
“ Jamie ? ”
Please, not now. Aaron you cannot see me like this my dear.
Please, my love. Go away.
“ Yes , Aaron . . ? ”
Fuck, I messed that up. My voice is shaky, and it broke instantly. Why cant I just cover it up?
“ . . . You okay ? Your voice sounds off . ”
...
Goddamnit Jamie.
Just go out there and look her in the eyes like nothing is wrong.
But she'll know.
She'll always know.
I slowly opened the door.
I didnt know what to do.
My eyes were teary.
My cheeks were wet.
My hands were shaking.
All i felt was a soft embrace.
Aaron, my love.
You always know how to make me shine brighter.
You will still love me.
No matter if I was man or women.
How do you do it?
I cant love myself but you still do.
I hate myself for being a man.
I hate my body.
I hate the scars.
The mental ones and physical ones.
The accidents and the ones with a purpose.
But somehow, you love me still.
You make me happy.
You make me feel accepted.
The way you hold me.
Comfort me.
Oh my gods, Aaron.
I lost track of everything.
Now Im laying in your arms as you tell me how pretty I am.
I love you,
so fucking much.