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Laura Lee has her God, her savior, and Lottie has her. God, was she perfect. The absolute vision of devotion. Kind, sweet…and innocent. Lottie couldn’t do it. She was far too bloody. If Laura’d asked, she would’ve knelt at her feet, worshipping her as her own god. She knew Christians always saved sex before marriage, but…Jesus, if she could…
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies.
Since Lottie had been little, since that one time in the car, her parents had treated her… different. Her dad had been distant, sending over his affection in money, and her mom had treated her slightly like some visionary, but had refused to be near her after, almost scared. The only person who had at least been close to her was her maid, who’d given her the meds. And that barely counted. So when Laura Lee came along…it was like a blessing. Lottie wasn’t super religious, but even she could understand that this had to be some sort of gift from a higher being. Comfort from a beautiful girl…not even she could’ve thought that up.
Amen, Amen.
And then there was that one, one time. She couldn’t take the horrible nightmares each night. The visions that left her covered in sweat, fear enshrouding her mind. The blood. The death. The demanding. God, the entire group had to see her as fucking mental by now. But not Laura Lee. She’d stayed with her through it all. She’d led her into the lake and believed her visions. Laura Lee could see her as a god. Someone saw her as something, and God, did she need that now. After being shoved under as crazy by her father, unable to do anything with him, and knowing all she was to him was his crazy fucking kid. But Laura Lee was different. She saw her as something special. Something, at all. So she’d do anything in return.
I’ll tell you my sins, and you can sharpen your knife.
Since Laura Lee had made that announcement, that she going to be flying the rickety plane in order to try and get help, Charlotte Matthew’s heart had dropped to her knees. She felt like throwing up. Screaming. Begging. Faking some sort of vision just to tell her not to go. Laura Lee’d believe her, right? She had up till now. But deep down, Lottie knew nothing would change this one. Laura Lee would go, and god knows what’d happen. Only that hopefully, her silent lover’s life wouldn’t be lost in the fucking forest.
Offer me that deathless death.
So for the first time in her life, Lottie had prayed. Desperately. When no one was watching, she’d snuck into the house and set her elbows on the table, clasping her fingers together and ignoring the grime under her nails. Hopefully god wouldn’t mind. So, she squeezed her eyes shut and prayed. That please, God, that Laura Lee would come to. Or that the plane would work perfectly and her and her stupid stuffed teddy bear, fucking Leonard, would be able to land safely and it’d all work out fine. She prayed and prayed, just as she’d seen Laura Lee do late at night(and she’d always shoot Lottie a small, reassuring smile, after), and hoped it’d be enough.
Good God, let me give you my life.
It wasn’t.