Chapter Text
“Otonashi…? Can you hear me?” I called out desperately to the red-haired boy laid next to me. Light was continuously seeping into the tunnel as bit by bit of rubble was removed, everyone had reacted, staring at the light with a shining hope, but Otonashi remained laying still on the ground, eyes glazed over and blank. The look in his eyes was so familiar, it was the same look the man from before had after he died.
But it wasn’t possible—it couldn’t be that the boy who brought hope to everyone here, who took on the role of leader, who tended to everyone’s wounds—was dead. It just couldn’t be that a boy with such a bright future was now gone, taken out of this world when the other he had cared for survived.
“Otonashi!” I screamed, more desperation in my voice than the last. “Help is here! Otonashi! Otonashi!” I was now sitting up, leaning over his body and staring at the emptiness in his eyes, I put two fingers on his neck, where his pulse should’ve been.
There was none.
I was then feeling around his neck, praying I had just felt the wrong spot, but despite it, there was no pulse. Otonashi had no pulse. His heart was no longer beating. My fingers trembled as I pulled my fingers back from his body, fear coursing through my veins. It couldn’t be, it was impossible. Otonashi was supposed to survive, he was so young, it wasn’t time for him to go yet. It could be—it just couldn’t be that he was gone now.
The rescue team had entered the tunnel, carrying survivors and putting them on stretchers. Some were passed out at this point, while others were still able to remain conscious. I shouted for someone—anyone—to help. The last thing I remembered was being carried onto a stretcher, and seeing the lifeless look in Otonashi’s eyes. The world went black after that.
---
I don’t even know how much time passed, but I woke up in a hospital bed. I sat up, an IV was stabbed into my left arm. The first person I saw was a young nurse, she looked only a bit older than Otonashi, likely fresh out of medical school.
Otonashi…
“Excuse me miss,” I called out to her, she walked over to my bed and smiled softly.
“Do you need anything?”
“Is there a patient here by the name of Otonashi? He has red hair and-”
I stopped talking when I saw the grim expression on her face, the way her expression dropped the moment I said Otonashi’s name. Of course, I knew this would be the answer, the moment I saw the life that left Otonashi’s eyes, I knew that he wasn’t here anymore. But getting a confirmation on it…That felt much different.
“I’m so sorry,” The nurse spoke softly, her expression downcast, “he died the moment the rescue team arrived.”
Of course, I knew this would be the answer. I knew when I saw him that he wasn’t going to make it. But hearing those words, someone stating that my fears were true, it was too much for me to handle. I wasn’t ready to know that the bright boy I met in that tunnel was dead.
Why him? Why Otonashi? He didn’t deserve it. He had such a bright future ahead of him too, he was studying to be a medical student. Heck, if he didn’t straight up tell me he was a medical student I likely would’ve thought he was an actual doctor. He deserved to live, his life shouldn’t have ended there in that dark tunnel. He brought everyone there hope, it wasn’t fair he died while the rest of them survived. Why did he die when everyone else hadn’t?
My question answered itself when I looked over to the person in the hospital bed next to me. It was the man who spilled the water. Otonashi’s selflessness was what led to his demise, he was willing to drink less water due to the fact that they had less.
All of a sudden, I only felt rage for the man in the hospital bed next to me. If he hadn’t been so greedy—so selfish— Otonashi would still be alive right now. He would’ve had the water he needed to survive. If this man hadn’t done one, little , thing, Otonashi would be in a different hospital bed here, heart still beating.
It was all this guy’s fault that Otonashi was dead.
Why was it that Otonashi was the one to pay the price for the man’s actions? How was that fair? Why was the one who deserved to live the most out of all of them the one to die?
I would’ve started yelling at the man right then and there, but my strength gave out, and I slipped back into unconsciousness.
———
The next time I woke up, I was well enough by then to be discharged from the hospital. I didn’t know how much time passed, but I was feeling no better than the last time I was conscious. I entered the lobby, and there I saw the rest of the people who survived the crash.
The woman whom Otonashi bandaged the arm of was the first to speak, “Everyone’s here but Otonashi…” she murmured. The rest of the group chorused in agreement. I was the only one who knew.
Well, I suppose I should just go out and say it, like ripping off a band-aid.
“Otonashi died the moment the rescue team arrived.”
Seeing their expressions drop at the statement, the look of disbelief, horror, and despair, it made me wonder if I should have said it at all. It made me wonder if it would’ve been better to let them live in blissful ignorance.
I eyed the man who spilled the water, his expression was ever so slightly different from the rest. There was a clear guilt that settled in his expression, and it was obvious why.
It seemed the others had noticed too. They turned to him, I could see some of their lips twitching in what looked like disgust, and I hated to admit it, but I felt just a bit similarly.
“ You. You’re the reason Otonashi died.” One of the woman snarled, malice written all over her expression. She walked towards the man, no doubt about to get physical, yet someone stopped her.
That someone was me.
Despite the fact that I too was feeling angry, I too wanted to beat this man to a bloody pulp, I too thought that he should’ve died instead of Otonashi, I knew that Otonashi wouldn’t want us to fight eachother. Even when everyone else had wanted to jump the man before me after spillin the water, Otonashi told them to refrain from doing so, Otonashi didn’t want them to be violent.
“Let’s remain civil here.”
The woman stared at me for a moment, a mix of different emotions on her face, before she gave in and walked back.
We all attended Otonashi’s funeral.
Otonashi was too young to die.
We all agreed that it should’ve been someone else.
———
I became a firefighter a few years after, so I could help people who were trapped beneath rubble, so I could help those who needed it. I wanted to make sure less people ended up like Otonashi, dying after being stranded when they were so close to living.
I was called to a scene that had too many parallels to my own past experience than I was comfortable with.
A train had gone missing a week ago—they just located where it was and needed people to remove the rubble and save any potential survivors.