Chapter Text
He always had that notebook on him. It was like a part of him—an extension of his self, his thoughts, his beliefs. Sure you could say it was necessary. After all, it was that notebook that helped him use his powers. All he had to do was write down what he needed and he could transform that paper into that need. Anything within reason, that is. But the obligation to keep that notebook on him at all times wasn’t necessarily for his powers. Even if he couldn’t make use of Doppo Poetry, he’d keep that book with him.
The contents of the notebook were always a topic of office gossip within the Armed Detective Company. Of course everyone knew that Kunikida used it extensively for planning and organizing case information. That much was obvious to everyone. They also knew about the made-up facts that Dazai insisted needed to be written down. Kunikida, of course, always wrote them down, much to the detriment of his pen collection once he found out that Dazai had lied again.
But other workers in the Armed Detective Company would often find Kunikida deep in thought with one hand propping up his chin, the other scribbling away in his notebook. Sometimes they’d find him gazing out the window of the office, glasses pushed up on top of his head with a relaxed look on his face. They could tell that the notebook would be open, but there would always be something in the way—an arm at just the right angle or glare from the window—that would keep anyone from actually finding out what other secrets that notebook held.
That didn’t stop the rest of the office from placing bets on what the contents of that notebook were. The office pool was rather high at 100,000 yen—though not as high as the 700,000 for guessing Dazai’s previous job—but despite the amount of time they’d all known Kunikida, no one was any closer to finding out what exactly it was that he was writing down when he was clearly preoccupied with his own thoughts.
“Hey, what exactly does Kunikida write about in that notebook of his?” Atsushi asked one day as he carried several files to be returned to their original locations. “I saw him earlier with it looking pretty serious.”
At this, Tanizaki glanced around before lowering his voice to speak. “Ah, well that’s another one of the seven mysteries of the Armed Detective Agency. No one’s ever been able to even catch a glimpse inside it.”
Atsushi stopped where he was, files still in hand, and lowered his voice to match Tanizaki’s. “So he’s writing something secret? Wait, don’t tell me there’s a reward for finding out what’s in it?” Money talked and Atsushi wanted nothing more than to hear the sound of crisp bills earned easily.
The two of them heard the rustle of newspaper pages as Ranpo leaned out from behind the comics section with a grin. “You bet there’s a reward. Good luck trying to get it though.”
“Eh? Even you haven’t figured it out, Ranpo?” Atsushi asked incredulously.
“I’m just not interested,” Ranpo replied with a yawn before returning behind his newspaper. “No point in wasting my energy on someone with such low level deductive skills.”
Atsushi blinked slowly as he mulled over this newly acquired information about his coworker. It was at that moment that Kunikida entered the room again and everyone scrambled back to work.
--
It wasn’t that Kunikida was unaware that the subject of his notebook was a huge part of office water cooler conversations. Oh he knew that they talked about it and that made it all the more important to prevent anyone from seeing what was in it. If they knew…oh if they knew, he’d be humiliated. Because then he’d have to admit to having the worst schoolgirl crush on Dazai, of all people.
Of course this fascination or whatever he had for Dazai was a big surprise to him. Kunikida didn’t even realize it until he looked down one day at his notebook after absent-mindedly moving his pen across the page. If the others saw, he’d never hear the end of it. Especially from Dazai. He could just be so…irritating at times, and he’d surely be infinitely worse if he knew that Kunikida was nursing a massive crush on him.
Kunikida let out a sigh, took off his glasses, and pinched the bridge of his nose. What was he? Twelve years old? It was definitely an unexpected realization. Having these feelings, that is. After all, Dazai had always been the biggest source of frustration since he had arrived at the Armed Detective Agency. Dazai was clearly smart and talented, but he insisted on lazing about and acting overly dramatic all the time. But then when he actually acted, he was reckless and yet so confident in his plans that worked without a hitch. Dazai’s entire identity was an enigma to him, and yet Kunikida found him entirely fascinating.
And apparently that fascination led to daydreams that led to all the freshly inked pages in his notebook. Kunikida was doomed. The best thing he could do was work incessantly and hope that it would distract him from these feelings.
--
It was late at night when Dazai walked into the Armed Detective Agency. Everyone had already gone home for the night but there was still a light on inside. Dazai stretched out his arms as he rounded the corner into the main room. If he couldn’t sleep, he might as well go over to the office and stretch out there where the sofas were nicer.
Dazai glanced over to the only light on in the room and saw Kunikida slumped over on his desk. Of course he’d be working late. When was Kunikida ever not working hard? He needed to lighten up a little. Dazai grinned. What better way to lighten up than to play some sort of prank on him? He could maybe draw on his face a little.
Dazai walked over to the passed out Kunikida and reached across the desk for a pen. That’s when he noticed it sticking out from under Kunikida’s arm. The notebook. Dazai laughed to himself. Forget the drawing-on-the-face plan. He’d be the first one to see what was so secret about this book.
After a few careful tugs, Dazai removed the book from under Kunikida’s arm and began to flip through it. There were the expected case notes and then a couple of “facts” he had told Kunikida. Most of those so-called facts were angrily scribbled out and Dazai couldn’t help but feel an odd sense of satisfaction at that.
And then he saw the first sketch. It was just several hands in different positions. Dazai blinked down at the page. This was the big secret? Kunikida secretly drew really well? He flipped through the pages and saw more. Many pairs of eyes clearly expressing different emotions. Even a lazy looking grin that Dazai felt looked familiar. This wasn’t that big of a deal. Why would this be such a huge secret that Kunikida hid from everyone?
Dazai turned the page and froze. Oh. Ohh. That explains it.
The ink across the page swirled into each line, which added up together to form a picture of-
“Me,” whispered Dazai, careful to try and not wake up Kunikida, who was still fast asleep.
The sketch was really quite good. Dazai had a vague recollection of lounging over on the sofa, like in the sketch, a couple months back. He flipped back to the previous sketches. Those were his hands, his eyes. And then there were several more actual sketches of him.
Dazai studied the sketches for some time and then flipped to the most recent one. He scribbled something quickly in the margin and replaced the notebook back under Kunikida’s arm. With a grin, Dazai left the office. Probably best not to be here when Kunikida woke up.
--
Kunikida groaned weakly as he lifted his head off his desk. He should’ve gone home instead of falling asleep in the office on top of his work and his notebook. At that thought, Kunikida instantly shot up, completely awake. The notebook. How stupid could he be? Anyone could have seen it. He looked around furtively for any signs of anyone in the office and let out a sigh of relief when no one was there. He was safe.
He flipped through his notebook to be on the safe side and then felt his heart stop. There, written on the corner of the most recent page was handwriting that wasn’t his.
Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone. But next time you can ask me to pose for you! Followed by a suggestive looking winky face and simply signed “Dazai.”
Kunikida felt the heat rise up to his face. This was far worse than he’d ever expected. Oh he was completely doomed.