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From the way Kagiura looked at things, relationships should be a two way street. It’s about the things you give to and take from each other. You give your time and take some of theirs in return. You take their bad moments when they’re given to you, and you give back the joy and comfort you can. From the most normal, mundane moments, to the times that life makes you want to rip your hair out and give up, you should be there for each other, and that ideology was infectious once Hirano had gotten it through his thick skull.
At times, it felt like Kagiura was an endless giver— his patience, his honesty, his affection— but there were plenty of times that Hirano had taken his own share of Kagiura’s bad moments. There was the time that the brunet had gotten sick, and when the same boy had been such a sore loser during his basketball tournament in his first year, just to name a couple, so Hirano supposed it was only fair that Kagiura would want to do the same.
No time had this been more prevalent than the winter of Hirano’s third year of high school— his last year at this school and in this dorm with Kagiura. The pair were settled into their independent study time, the only noise in their shared room being the soft scratching of Kagiura’s pencil behind him and the ticking of the alarm clock on the brunet’s headboard a few paces away. As hard as he was trying to focus on the calculus work in front of him, Hirano’s mind would not stay on task, and he could feel his concentration tanking the longer he attempted to keep working. Letting out a quiet yet heavy sigh, Hirano feels the last of his self discipline leave him, and his eyes stray from his textbook to instead focus on a set of photos displayed on the cork board above his desk.
Hirano hadn’t made much personal use of the board before a few months ago, so the photos still looked a little out of place among all the reminders for school and pinned up notes, but they sent a rush of emotion through him regardless. For Hirano’s birthday this year, Kagiura insisted on taking him out to celebrate, and the pair spent the day in the most cheesy, coupley way. The blond could still hear the excitement in Kagiura’s voice when he dragged them into the photo booth to “commemorate the day”, as the younger boy put it.
”It isn’t every day you turn eighteen!”
Hirano already had a hard time denying Kagiura anything, so there was no way the blond would have said no to him, even if he’d wanted to.
The photos were simple— Hirano had never done one of these before, so Kagiura had the pleasure of choosing their poses— the first one was a normal one, with both of them flashing wide grins and peace signs. Then next was a “flirty” one, for which Hirano had no idea what to do, so the photo was just his bewildered expression directed at Kagiura as the boy in question looked back at him in turn, his hand held in a finger gun pose under his chin and a ridiculous “smolder” on his face.
After the camera flashed and a timer started counting for their third photo, Hirano couldn’t hold it in against Kagiura’s expression and burst out laughing. His eyes screwed shut with tears and wrinkles at the corners, and he was nearly doubled over, even as the flash went off again. Kagiura’s own expression was one of pure love and adoration, a smile clearly in the process of making its way onto his face, too. That one was easily Hirano’s favorite of the set, but Kagiura later told him that the last photo was his favorite.
Why was that one his favorite? Well, because Kagiura had kissed him, and also somehow managed to get the camera’s timing perfectly. Both of them were smiling into the kiss, though it had noticeably taken Hirano slightly by surprise. His eyes were somehow miraculously closed, but his eyebrows were raised noticeably higher than Kagiura’s own relaxed ones. Just looking at the photo strip was enough to remember the gentle pressure of Kagiura’s hands against his jaw holding him still and the feeling of soft lips on his own. Hirano also remembers his fingers bunching the hem of Kagiura’s shirt where he clung on for dear life, but that’s neither here nor there, because of course he’d be nervous getting kissed out of the blue like that. They were still in public too, despite the curtain shielding them from any prying eyes, but he didn’t enjoy it any less in spite of that. The day was something he looked back on and treasured, and he was grateful for the things Kagiura did for him. For the light the younger boy brought into his life.
And yet, along with the usual warmth that these photos and the accompanying memories brought him, they were followed closely by a wave of sadness, too. This was Hirano’s last year that he could spend so carefree, and though technically he really should have been taking his studies more seriously in the last couple of months, he just couldn’t. Not when he’d finally gotten his feelings for Kagiura sorted out, only for that to be immediately followed by the realization that there wasn’t much time left. He’d come to this school and this dorm with such a clear plan in mind, but that went out the window almost instantly when he opened the door to Kagiura that spring morning nearly two years ago now. After everything the pair had been through, Hirano wasn’t ready for another big change so soon, and the pressure from classes and exam prep had finally been catching up to him.
When Hirano lifts his phone to check the time— and maybe set a little ten minute timer to rest— he catches sight of himself in his screen’s reflection and notices just how worn down he looks. Hirano was always pretty pale, but it was much more noticeable now in conjecture with the dark bags under his eyes. His hair was messy from running his hands through it so frequently, and he could feel how stiff his back was now that he was aware of every other thing wrong with him at that moment. It was easy to forget in the thrall of his stress, but he looked and felt like shit.
Hirano was so, so tired.
Okay, maybe he could afford an actual break after all, but just a small one.
Almost without realizing it, Hirano feels himself blink and his vision starts to tunnel, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. The blond feels more than he sees himself reaching for the photobooth strip, but before he can actually make contact to pull it down and closer to him, he feels a soft pressure on his wrist and nearly startles out of his skin.
Despite his vision swimming slightly, or maybe in an attempt to clear it up, Hirano slowly turns back and blinks up at whatever was blocking the suddenly all too bright lights in the room. When Hirano’s eyes manage to focus a little more, he’s met with the warmest pair he’d ever seen staring back at him, soft and olive colored. There was concern evident in each of the wrinkles currently etched into Kagiura’s face, and while Hirano always thought he was very handsome, the frown he was wearing really didn’t suit him. Hirano found himself thinking that Kagiura should always be smiling, even though he knew it didn’t work like that.
Silence stretched on between them for what felt like ages to Hirano’s overworked brain, but couldn’t have been more than a few short seconds in reality. The brunet softly grips Hirano’s wrists in his hands, and gently pulls the blond up and out of his chair to put some space between him and his long forgotten books, and Hirano was too burned out to refuse whatever Kagiura wanted. Warmth radiated from the caring hands gently holding his wrists as Kagiura rubbed small, soothing patterns into the places they could reach, and Hirano would’ve done anything asked of him if it meant he could keep feeling that warmth.
Hirano’s vision was still a little unsteady as Kagiura, with the gentlest force imaginable, moved to drag the golden haired boy to his bed and sat down, looking up at him with an unwavering gaze. Hirano felt his knees buckle slightly, but before he could even come close to hitting the ground, a strong arm wrapped its way around Hirano’s back and kept him upright. The momentary lapse in his balance was due mostly to how bone tired he felt, but the way Kagiura was looking at him, and the way the younger boy cared for him definitely played a significant role in how unsteady he was too. Hirano finds that he wants nothing more than to lay down next to Kagiura, and his thoughts are indulged as Kagiura pats a space to his right, all but silently begging Hirano to sit with him. And Hirano does, obediently. Almost embarrassingly so. Once he’s been pulled from his concentration, the stress and frustration all but abandon his body and it just leaves him so, so tired.
Even through the haze of his burn out, Hirano feels Kagiura guiding him towards his usual spot close to the wall, and the blond lets him. Strong yet gentle hands urge Hirano to lay down, and it isn’t long before Kagiura lays down next to him.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Hirano thinks that his worn down dorm mattress and sheets had never felt as comfortable as they did in that moment.
It takes no words and almost as little physical coaxing for Hirano to snuggle up to Kagiura— burrowing his face in his boyfriend’s chest and wrapping his thin arms around the younger boy’s broad and toned back, their legs immediately tangling above the thin bed sheets. He feels his hands fist the fabric of Kagiura’s shirt as he inhales deeply, his senses so firmly filled with Kagiura. In contrast, Kagiura’s hands aren’t quite so idle, one moving to rub soothing circles into the small of Hirano’s back and the other carding loosely through the fine, slightly rough blonde strands.
Amid the quiet comfort of the room and their shared embrace, Kagiura’s soft mutterings and shushing sounds could be heard as he pressed gentle kisses to the crown of Hirano’s head, and it was all the blond could do to keep his eyes open and enjoy the sensation. He’s just so tired, and this is far too comfortable, and there’s too little time they have left to enjoy each other’s company like this before exams and graduation.
Hirano once again feels tears prickle at the corners of his eyes from frustration, his breathing hitching and his body gently shaking with the effort it was taking to inhale. In response, the hand that was in his hair moves to his cheek, urging him to look up. When he obediently does so, and he’s greeted with the warmest, kindest smile he’s ever had the privilege of seeing. A gentle kiss finds its way onto Hirano’s forehead, and he hears Kagiura whisper so softly, telling him to sleep, and his eyes flutter closed in an instant. He was always weak to his Kagi-kun, and when so much was going to be changing soon, he wasn’t eager to let that start.
He could feel his consciousness slipping as the hand returned to his hair and the brunet started humming along to no particular song, just a pointless little melody as it came to him. Hirano didn’t last long enough to hear Kagiura tell him to sleep one last time, along with the quietest declaration, “Good night, Taiga. I love you.”
Time passes as Hirano lies in a dreamless sleep, the most comfortable one he’d experienced in a long time, with Kagiura there to hold and comfort him even without the blond being aware of it. When Hirano wakes later, the room lights are off, and Kagiura has tucked them in. He finds that he’s rolled over in his sleep, back now pressed against Kagiura’s firm chest. Kagiura’s even breathing lulls Hirano back to sleep, but not before he snuggles in just a little closer, grabbing the hand loosely slung over his waist to press a gentle kiss to its knuckles and returning the unknowing sentiment expressed while he rested earlier.
“Sleep well, Akira. I love you.”