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It started with a tea mug.
More specifically, the mug Namgyu always left in the sink with just a ring of lavender at the bottom and a sticky note that said, “I swear I’ll wash it later!” Thanos always rolled his eyes and washed it himself. Not because he minded, but because Namgyu had this stupid smile that made it worth it when he said thank you.
They were roommates for nearly two years. And Thanos had never once made the first move. He was all sarcasm and long limbs and dyed purple hair that never sat flat. Namgyu was small, soft-spoken, sweater paws and long black hair. The way he looked over his glasses should’ve been illegal but it wasn’t. It wasn’t that Thanos didn’t want to say something. He did. Every single day. He just didn’t want to ruin what they already had. Waking up to see Namgyu curled on the couch with his laptop and a mug half the size of his head. Hearing him laugh at a dumb meme at 3 a.m. Bickering over who ate the last waffle. Thanos was scared. That if he pushed even a little everything would fall apart. So he said nothing.
And that’s where it stayed.
Until the blog.
⸻
It happened by accident. Thanos had just gotten home from a shift, sweaty and starving, and his phone died right as he tried to pull up a recipe hes been thinking of all week. Namgyu’s laptop was sitting out on the kitchen table, open. Out of habit, Thanos reached for it. No password. Just one browser tab open.
Tumblr.
ask-me-anything-soft tumblr. com
He didn’t mean to snoop. Honestly. But the screen was already loaded. And it took less than a second for his eyes to catch a sentence that froze him where he stood:
“I think I’m in love with someone I shouldn’t be.”
Thanos stared at the post. His brain blanked. There were others.
“He makes me tea and yells at me for forgetting to eat.”
“He has the softest eyes when he thinks I’m not looking.”
“Sometimes I wonder if he feels it too, or if I’m just convenient.”
He closed the laptop. Fast. Heart thudding. Namgyu liked someone. He didn’t say who. No name. No labels. But the posts were full of soft confessions, yearning, late night questions about how to confess to someone you live near, see every day, but could never lose. Thanos didn’t know whether to scream or throw up.
⸻
That night, he made a fake Tumblr account. user476 Generic, boring, impossible to trace back to him. He followed the blog. He didn’t know why maybe part masochism, part hope but he read every post. And what he found was months worth of slow-burning, unspoken longing. Namgyu talked about his crush like it hurt. Like the thought of being noticed was just as terrifying as being ignored. There were comments under each post, too. Followers chiming in like friends at a sleepover:
sunny-pink-thoughts: tell him! what if he likes you back??
angry-cat-energy: DON’T DO IT. if it goes bad you’ll lose everything :((
Thanos didn’t say much. He just… watched. Silently. And slowly, he started to believe that Namgyu wasn’t talking about him at all. There were too many gaps. Too many possibilities. Maybe it was someone at Namgyu’s job. Or someone he used to know or worse one of their shared friend. But it couldn’t be him. Thanos wasn’t soft. Wasn’t safe. Wasn’t anything Namgyu described with those glowing little paragraphs and dreamy edits. So, stupidly, he pulled away.
⸻
Namgyu noticed. Of course he did. Thanos had always hovered. Always leaned over his shoulder when Namgyu was cooking or threw his legs over Namgyu’s lap on movie nights. But lately he didn’t even sit on the same couch. He made jokes with an edge. He didn’t finish his tea. He even stopped being so touchy with him. Namgyu smiled like it didn’t matter. But he kept looking at Thanos like something had broken.
And one day, Thanos saw a new post. Namgyu had queued it for the early afternoon. It had already racked up reblogs.
“Something changed. I don’t know what I did, but the person I like… he barely talks to me now. He used to smile when I walked into the room. Now he just stares at the wall. I don’t know if he figured it out or if I just became too much.”
Thanos paused then kept reading.
“Maybe I overstepped maybe i made it weird. Maybe I ruined it without even saying anything. I feel like I already lost him.”
His hands were shaking. And then came the tags. Thanos always checked the tags.
#crush problems #unrequited love
And right at the bottom of the post, like an afterthought—
#he has purple hair
Thanos froze. He read it again. Then again. He probably read it 4 times. Then got up, walked to the bathroom, and stared at himself in the mirror. He had purple hair. He was the crush. He was the guy namgyu wouldn’t stop posting about. And he’d spent the past week ignoring Namgyu. Pulling away. Making him doubt himself all because Thanos couldn’t handle the idea of Namgyu liking someone else. But it had always been him.
⸻
Thanos didn’t think. He just moved. He made tea lavender chamomile, Namgyu’s favorite and brought it into the living room, placing the mug gently in front of him like a peace offering.
Namgyu blinked at it, startled. “You’re talking to me again?” Thanos sat down beside him. Their knees brushed, warm and careful. “I never stopped wanting to talk to you,” he said quietly. “I just… messed up.” Namgyu looked down, pulling his sleeves over his hands. “Was I…too much?” “No!” Thanos said instantly. “You weren’t too much. You were just… too close. And I got scared.” Namgyu’s breath hitched. “Scared of what?” Thanos hesitated. His fingers curled into the fabric of his hoodie.
Then, softly: “I found your blog.”
Namgyu froze. “I didn’t mean to,” Thanos rushed. “I was using your laptop, and the tab was already open. I saw a few posts….then I made an account and kept reading. I didn’t tell you because… I thought you were talking about someone else.” Namgyu’s face flushed deep pink. “You—” “I got jealous,” Thanos admitted, voice low. “I thought I wasn’t the guy you liked, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. So I pulled away like an idiot.”
Namgyu looked at him for a long moment. “But you were the guy.” Thanos let out a breath and nodded. “Yeah. I know that now.” Silence stretched between them not cold, just heavy. Then Namgyu whispered, “You made an account?” Thanos winced. “Yeah. Username ‘user476.’”
⸻
That night, Thanos kissed him on the couch while their tea went cold. Namgyu smiled into it, sweater sleeves curled around Thanos’s hoodie, and whispered, “You liked all my post even the ones from months back.” Thanos groaned. “You weren’t supposed to know that was me.” Namgyu laughed for the first time in days. “Too late.”