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Lucy’s right hand smoother over the slightly wrinkled fabric wrapped around her waist. A dress she’d practically been dying to wear, in love with the moment she’d seen it on a hanger. She’d begged Tim for weeks, pleading for an excuse to wear her new addition. And he’d finally followed through — the Bradfords were set to enjoy some fine dining at a fairly new restaurant on the edge of the city. Lucy didn’t bother to look at the menu prices; she had a feeling they’d send an inkling of guilt through her.
She’d been looking forward to this dinner for over seventy-two hours. Even Celina had grown tired of her rambling over the menu. Yet, here she stood, her beloved dress hugging her curves as she stood in front of the mirror. And she wanted nothing more than to rip it off of her skin.
It didn’t sit the way she expected — her hips stuck out a little too far for her liking, and the fabric hung lower down her chest than she was comfortable with.
Her grip in her stomach tightened, her fingers extended across the royal blue satin. She pinched the fabric, adjusting to where it sucked her skin in just right. Maybe a safety pin can fix this, she thought to herself. With a strong grip on the dress, she gently strides across the room until she reaches the night table, her free hand throwing the drawer open. It doesn’t take long for her hands to wrap around a stay piece of metal. A sense of relief washed over her as she walked back to the mirror, carefully pushing the pin through the excess of fabric she’d gathered in her hands.
“Perfect,” she muttered to herself. Though, as her fingers let go, the satin expands back to its original position.
Tears stung in her already tired eyes, the disappointment unmanageable. She trained every single day — if not at the station, in the comfort of the home gym she and Tim had installed in their garage. She wasn’t exactly generous with food, and made a point to cut out processed snacks and sugar-bombs from her diet. No matter how hard she worked, she never seemed to fit perfectly. There was always something she found off about herself.
She stared back at herself in the mirror, a single tear escaping down her cheek. Though, she didn't realize she was crying until the soft drop of liquid sprayed across her hand, bringing her back to reality. I’ll just have to find another dress, she decided with tight lips.
Just as she tore open the closet doors, she heard Tim’s gentle footsteps through the threshold of their shared bedroom.
“Babe, are you rea- woah…”
With her head buried in a stack of jackets hung along her closet, she missed the way his eyes widened, marveling over her new outfit.
“What?” she remarked, somewhat bitingly, as her neck snapped around.
Tim shook his head. “Nothing you just look…”
He trailed off, unable to find a word suitable for the hunger forming at the bottom of his stomach. Each day, she found a new way to amaze him — whether it was the way her hair curled at the root when she stepped out of the shower, or her slowly-fluttering eyes as she woke each morning. It must be Christmas, he thought to himself as he took a step closer to her.
“Terrible, I know,” she responded surprisingly, causing Tim’s brows to furrow.
“Actually, I was going to say riveting .”
He paced up behind her, gently wrapping his arms around her waist. He pulled back softly, forcing her out of their closet.
“I, for one, think you look amazing in this dress. I understand the… what do kids say these days, the hype?”
Lucy stifled a laugh. “It’s just… not what I expected.”
“Well,” Tim began, sliding one hand up her torso. “I quite like it. The way it accentuates your…”
“Tim!”
He chuckled. “What? I can’t appreciate my wife’s killer body in the comfort of our own home?”
anymore?”
“You can,” she giggled, her lips tightened to hide a smile.
Somehow, as Tim’s hands trailed all around her body, the insecurities washed away. His gaze on her could be described as nothing but ravished, pure intensity pouring out from his fingertips. And when she looked in the mirror this time, a pair of Tim-colored glasses appeared on her face. Ones that allowed her to feel a little bit more uncomfortable in the much-anticipated dress she was wearing. The excitement returned, coursing through her veins like a rush of drugs.
Tim’s fingers brush over her arm until they reach her shoulder, hooking under the strap. He plays with it for a moment before bending down into the nape of her neck and whispering, “the dress is cute. But it’ll be cuter on the ground.”
Lucy’s hand flies up to cradle Tim’s cheek. “After dinner. I’m kinda hungry.”
★★★
“And when we rounded the corner, my gun just slammed against his shoulder, sending him right into the ground.”
Lucy smacked her hands together in the air, simulating the rather epic showdown she’d experienced on her earlier shift. Her eyes gaze over to the three women sitting across from her: Jana, Pauline, and Crystal. Her closest friends in college, ones that she hadn’t gone a day without until she was twenty-two. Yet, the spunky girls she was once fond of stared at her with a pure disinterest, all blinking slowly.
“Anyone care for another round?” Lucy asked with glee behind her voice, trying to uplift the rather dead energy circulating around them. They all nod, a sense of relief washing over them as she finishes her story.
She immediately stands up and heads to the bar, ordering another set of tequila sunrises for them all. As she waits, she gently glances over to the table. She knows she should be surprised at the sight of smiles across their faces; they’re laughing, even. Lucy lets out a sigh of disappointment. It was a common occurrence: they never seemed to have interest in her job, or life, for that matter. Yet, familiarity always seemed to take over, and she kept throwing herself into the pool of disinterest.
When she returned to their table, the conversation came to a hush. “What are we talking about?” she asked casually, thickly blanketing the hurt in her tone.
“Oh, just Paulie’s new boyfriend,” Jana shrugs.
“W- new boyfriend?” Lucy furrowed her brow, turning to Paulina. “I didn’t know you were seeing someone, Paulie.”
“It’s not a big deal,” the woman countered coolly.
And Lucy wanted to speak up, ask what she’d done to become intolerable in the last decade. But she’d tired herself out through an eight-hour shift, and didn’t have the care or energy. So she pulled out her phone and began to scroll mindlessly while the girls carried on without her presence.
-
“You’re home early,” Tim called out from the couch, his voice piercing the entryway before Lucy crossed the threshold.
“Yeah,” was all she managed, throwing her purse along the counter. Without another word, she reached into a cabinet, pulling out a bottle of wine. Not bothering to grab a glass, she simply slid her feet along the tile until she reached the sofa, where she collapsed next to Tim.
“I’m going to ignore the fact that you’re drinking from the bottle,” Tim winced. “Rough day?”
Lucy took a gulp before responding. “Nope.”
“Mhm,” he hummed, unconvinced. He waits for her to swallow before asking again, “how were drinks with your friends?”
“Couldn’t tell you,” she remarks.
“I’m confused.”
Lucy set the bottle onto the coffee table in front of them before turning to Tim, her cheeks flushing red. “They don’t care about me anymore. It was like… like they couldn’t wait for me to finish talking.”
“Oh honey,” he reached his hand out, placing it atop hers.
“I just feel like an idiot,” she continued. “We’re completely different people now. I mean… Crystal is a hairdresser. Paulie works in reception and I couldn’t even tell you what Jana does for a living. My job is a big part of my life, and they just… didn’t want to hear about it. It was kind of hurtful, actually. They don’t listen to anything I say. I mean… for god sakes, they asked me if I was seeing anyone. I have a huge rock on my left ring finger! I think that’s a pretty dead giveaway.”
Tim took a deep breath, his grip on her hand strengthening. “Babe, you’re not an idiot. In fact, they are idiots. I mean… Didn't you say that Jana used to flirt with your boyfriend in college? And wasn’t Crystal the one who got fired from her job for embezzlement?”
Lucy paused. “You… remember all of that?”
“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”
“I kind of thought that all of my drama just went in one ear and out of the other.”
Tim laughed. “I love your voice. I love listening to you. Unlike your so-called friends, I really care about what you have to say. I look forward to your rambling.”
Tim’s admittance foolishly came as a surprise to Lucy. Maybe she was still a tad traumatized by his no personal talk in the shop rule from their time as T.O. and boot. But she’d gravely misjudged him — taken him for granted, even.
It didn’t matter that her friends from over a decade ago found her boring, because the man sitting in front of her saw her as nothing less of a pure wonder. She didn’t need to search for validation, or a shoulder to lean on. Because Tim provided her with everything she’d ever need, whether she’d realized it or not. She’d soon forget the names of college friends, passing acquaintances who pretended to care. They didn’t matter. Tim did. And she couldn’t have asked for anything more.