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Terasawa Fumiya met Yagami Takayuki, once.
Then, they met again. And again.
Of course, those next few times were by design. By then, he was Sugiura.
Yagami never even noticed. That too was by design.
Sugiura had lived for a long time in righteous anger, and deep depression. He’d sat in it, stewed in it, let it weigh him down and sink into his skin until his body had turned to stone, barely even able to move from his room. By the time he’d realised it, it'd become too hard to change. It was all he could do to live in the shadow of his sister's memory. He’d play back his memories of the days when there was, unbeknownst to him, no turning back. He lived there, replaying them always, unable to move. He spent years there.
But he did change, eventually. When he fell in love with parkour, things completely reversed. Though it used to be impossible to get him outside, it became impossible to keep him inside, and he’d be out at all times of day, of night. For hours, because he’d lose track of time. It all went by too fast.
Finally, he was moving again. Adrenaline fueled his body through every jump, and with enough practice, he got good at it. He could live in the moment again.
They even stopped his thoughts, which he thought were inescapable. His life, which had narrowed down into the confines of his unchanging bedroom, had expanded to include the rooftops and the unending sky. His world no longer had any walls.
Slowly, of his own strength, he released himself. He was free.
He’d started taking care of himself again, and changed how he looked. His hairstyle was a spur of the moment decision which he ended up loving. And of course his mask was essential.
The new him was Sugiura Fumiya. Though, no matter what name he took, he was still Emi’s brother. It’s not like he wanted to change that.
No, what he wanted was privacy. If he was gonna be part of the world again, he had to have a name. And living by his family name meant that everyone he knew was always one internet search removed from all the gruesome details of his family tragedy.
He wasn’t getting rid of his connection to his family. On the contrary, that connection ran deeper than names. But it was nobody’s business but his own. It was for the best.
This way, Sugiura had the chance to live.
Yagami, to Terasawa Fumiya, was a half-remembered name. Then, when his sister was killed, Yagami was a figure he’d built up in his head. Someone despicable, someone careless, reckless. He was a man who represented the failure of the world to protect all things good. He was the failure of the law.
When Sugiura started to leave the house again, Genda Law peered down at him as he walked the streets below. He’d duck through the streets in a rush, eager to get cops off his tail, and the words Yagami Detective Agency would catch his eye every time, as if it were calling out to him. As if the name itself was trying to invade his peace.
Sugiura had even walked past the man himself once, and Yagami was none the wiser. He barely even glanced at him.
Sugiura had made sure he knew exactly what Yagami looked like. He knew for sure it was him. Walking around in Kamurocho, Sugiura wouldn’t make the mistake of thinking he’d never run into him. Sugiura was still Emi’s brother, after all. Starting over fresh was one thing, but that didn’t mean the slate was wiped clean.
Sugiura didn’t know what Emi was to Yagami. He’d never spoken to him in years, after all. But he knew what Terasawa Fumiya was, in his eyes.
An oversight, easily forgotten. How else could he walk right by him, like he was a stranger?
Sugiura took Yagami’s phone and ran. He’d give him some credit, he wasn’t half bad at giving chase. But Sugiura was a pro at this point, and, well, Yagami was not. No matter long he'd been a detective, it wasn’t even close. That was a point of pride for Sugiura.
He felt a grin spread across his face involuntarily as he ran, the whole thing being child’s play, but the troublemaking being enough to make it worthwhile. If Yagami had given up earlier, it would’ve been boring.
Sugiura made a big jump, and Yagami followed, nearly falling for his trouble. All of a sudden, the man he’d built up for so long in his own mind looked almost like one of the bumbling newbies he’d seen trying to follow the group, though Yagami wasn’t nearly as young. Behind his mask he smiled, and returned the phone as a consolation prize. He’d earnt it.
Sugiura stood around in the middle of Yagami Detective Agency like it was no big deal, and really, it wasn’t. He’d just thought it would be. Now he knew he was wrong.
Yagami, for all his strong feelings about him, was also not a big deal. He was just a man, too. He’d even say they got along.
Maybe Sugiura even liked the guy.
Well, he certainly had no beef with Kaito, and it was easy to spend time with them both. When Sugiura managed to get involved with the case, all his overthinking had eased off. All he had to do now was stick around and watch.
It was surprisingly calm. It was nice, even.
Sugiura had spent so much of his time watching Yagami, and really, if he’d never known his name, he would be a stranger he was perfectly fine getting to know under normal circumstances.
Well. He was getting to know him now, but. They’d met before.
Yagami leaned out the window, a cigarette in his hand. Yagami had his vices too. He was just a man.
He caught Sugiura’s eye. “Want one?”
Sugiura tried not to look embarrassed to be caught staring. “No, no. I don’t smoke.”
“You don’t?” He said it incredulously, like that was odd. Maybe it was, since he was so used to brushing shoulders with yakuza. “Not even a little? Not curious?”
“Nope.” Sugiura answered, popping the P. “Why, should I be?”
Yagami laughed, flicking the ash outside. “Save yourself the yen.”
Sugiura came to the window, beside him. “I probably get enough second-hand. And it’s perfectly free.”
“Is that so?” Yagami leaned back against the frame of the window, and blew smoke pointedly in Sugiura’s direction.
Sugiura turned and coughed. Yagami laughed under his breath, like an asshole.
Sugiura pouted.
“Sorry,” Yagami offered right away, obviously amused. “You did kind of ask.”
“Not at point blank range, I didn’t. Blegh.”
“In my experience, it gets better the closer you get.”
He stared back at Sugiura, bringing the cigarette back to his lips, leaning in.
Sugiura didn’t back off and, falling for the bait, watched the whole thing. There was a years long familiarity in the way he held it between his fingers, the way it sat on his lips.
It was obvious Yagami had done this before to flirt with others, and here Sugiura was, falling for it. Really, he should know better by now.
Feeling bold, Sugiura reached his hand out and placed it on Yagami’s chest. It was better to be more direct with older guys, in his experience.
He tilted his head and played cute. “Then I guess that’s for you to know and me to wonder.”
Yagami did back off then, looking outside instead. “If that’s how you prefer it.”
It wasn’t. Sugiura’s curiosity was only short-lived, because he couldn’t stop himself from kissing Yagami eventually.
That was probably a bad decision. Things weren’t entirely out in the open about them both. But he couldn’t bring himself to feel bad about it, because he didn’t. Honestly.
He liked Yagami. Now that he’d actually spoken to him, watched how he acted when he thought he was around a stranger instead of Terasawa Emi’s poor little brother, Sugiura knew what kind of person Yagami really was. And he was not the person he’d always imagined.
No, Yagami was someone worth trusting. All too ready to doubt what he saw with them – all too ready to blame Yagami – he’d seen there was something else going on in the case. Something undeniable.
Blame was so easy. His sister didn’t deserve such a simple answer. For her, only the truth. And that would be far more difficult.
The truth meant staying with Yagami. The truth meant trusting Yagami. Maybe anything extra was overindulgence, but who was complaining?
Yagami didn’t. No, he always had this stupid shitty smile when Sugiura grabbed him by the collar, unable to help himself from a quick kiss. He smiled like he’d won, or something. Cigarette smoke was no better up close, but Yagami, Sugiura realised, definitely was.
Sugiura did have to confess his identity in the end. It was inevitable from the moment he’d decided there was something going on with his sister’s death beyond Yagami and Okubo. It was inevitable when he decided he really did, sincerely, trust Yagami.
Part of him did worry that Yagami (and Kaito, and the others,) might look at him differently. That there’d be tenseness, apprehension, pity.
All there was in Yagami’s eyes was an appreciation for the fuller picture. For the Sugiura who was still Terasawa, even without the name. Like he’d thought, no matter the name, he was always himself.
He was Emi’s brother, with or without the name. And Emi would always be his sister, alive or dead. Nothing changed that.
“Y’know, I never asked. About your name, I mean.” Yagami was trying to act casual, but it was forced, he could tell. “Do you mind it? That we all still call you Sugiura?”
“It’s the name I gave. I wouldn’t be using it if I minded.”
“Sure, but. The circumstances were different.”
He sounded so worried. Sugiura wanted to reassure him, quickly. “Sugiura is my name too. Just not my only one.”
Yagami exhaled, looking only a little appeased. “Then I’ll rephrase the question.”
Sugiura waited.
“Is it okay to keep talking to you like I always have?”
Now Yagami was the one overthinking things.
“I like it.” Sugiura shrugged, then gave him a playful look. “Why, did you have something else in mind?”
Yagami shifted in place, flustered. “Well, y’know. Even if the last name’s different, you’re still Fumiya, right? We could always... do that instead...”
“My first name? Embarrassing...” Sugiura laughed. “Does that mean I have to call you Takayuki, now?”
Yagami did frown then, apparently upset to be teased when he was taking this seriously. “I mean, I wouldn’t say no.”
“Which is code for yes.” Sugiura cheerfully concluded. He came closer, and leant against Yagami. “Takayuki.”
Yagami finally relaxed, with him there. He put an arm around Sugiura. “Yeah?”
“Seriously, I don’t mind. I like ‘Sugiura’. I chose it myself.” He sighed and looked to the floor. “I’m tired of walking around carrying the baggage of my old name. It kept me stuck for so long.”
He faltered and paused, feeling self conscious about his honesty.
“I don’t know. Maybe that sounds stupid. I just feel like I can live my own life now.” He tried to control the shake in his voice. “I think that’s what Emi would have wanted. I can’t just... let myself stop living after what happened. I’ve already wasted enough time.”
“That doesn’t sound stupid at all.” Yagami spoke again. “I ran away from being a lawyer after everything that happened. I opened this detective agency so I could stop thinking about it, and it never worked. I was alive, and Terasawa Emi wasn’t. It didn’t seem fair, but I always thought it was my fault.”
“So you stayed stuck.”
Sugiura used to think it wasn’t fair, either. That Yagami got to live in peace when Emi was gone.
But they were the same. Just as Sugiura had been holed up in his room to hide from it all, unable to move on, Yagami had this office where he tried to pretend he was moving on, and wasn’t. He’d narrowed his world down to these four walls in the hopes he wouldn’t be hurt again.
“Until now.” Yagami said. “...So thanks.”
“Oh, please.” Sugiura rolled his eyes, pretending he’d never been emotional at all. “Shouldn’t I be thanking you?”
Yagami ran his fingers through Sugiura’s hair, and smiled. “Then kiss me and we’ll call it even.”
Sugiura and Kuwana came out of the elevator, each carrying one end of a low table. They placed it in the middle of the newly minted Yokohama 99 office – they’d spent earlier today hauling up couches and shelving and computers, hiring the local handyman to help with all the heavy lifting.
“There.” Sugiura sighed, wiping sweat from his brow. “That should be the last one.”
“Very good to hear, Sugiura-shi!” Tsukumo called out from the far side of the room, where he was setting up his computer and so, so many monitors. “Kuwana-shi, please help yourself to as much food as you’d like.”
“Don’t mind if I do.” Kuwana went to their kitchen, where the takeout was already waiting. They’d managed to enlist his help with the promise of lunch as payment. After he stretched his arms, Sugiura joined him.
“Guess you guys are all ready for business now, huh?” Kuwana asked between bites of food. Sugiura was still filling up his plate.
“With your blessing, of course.”
“Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” Kuwana made a gesture with his arms to accentuate the point. “You have it. Maybe a little competition in town will keep things interesting.”
“Only the friendly kind, I hope. Hehe.” Tsukumo called out.
“Not that I can imagine why you’d want in on this business. All this must’ve cost a lot. It’s a nice place.”
“We put a lot of savings into it...” Sugiura answered, trying not to think about the sum. Even with secondhand furniture to cut costs, it was a lot. But he’d made his decision that this was what he wanted, so all he could do was stick to his guns.
“We have big shoes to fill, is all.” Tsukumo offered as explanation. “They made a wonderful example. And a well organised base of operations is the first step to that!”
“Well organised, huh?” Kuwana operated out of his apartment, and very much did not meet that condition.
“I wouldn’t call that office well organised.” Sugiura remembered it and smiled.
“So you had some mentors back in Tokyo showing you the ropes, huh?” Kuwana pondered aloud. “That’s real nice.”
Sugiura thought of Yagami. Because of him, he’d met so many people, and made his first real friends in a long time – Tsukumo being just one of them. It’d changed him for the better. But knowing Yagami, especially.
Despite thinking so lowly of him before, he’d somehow only become his most honest self, his most fulfilled self when they’d met again. He owed him so much, despite everything.
Which was, in a way, exactly why he had to leave. He had so much room to grow, still. And if that meant taking a risk and going over somewhere totally new, then he’d do it.
He wanted to be worthy of the life he had. He knew it was a privilege to have one.
“Yeah, I...” Sugiura trailed off, picking at his food. “I mean, we owe them a lot.”
Kuwana gave him a look that made it clear he knew there was something more there.
“Nice.” Kuwana repeated, refraining from asking. “They must really be something. You’ll have to introduce me if they ever swing by.”
“Of course!” Tsukumo perked up.
Sugiura laughed. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure they’ll come by eventually.”
And by then, he and Tsukumo will have built this place up into something he could be proud of.
From these four walls, he’d build up a new life. From here, Sugiura would reach for the sky.
And what a wonderful sky it was.