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She opened the TARDIS door.
The space station was illuminated by the light of the nearby binary star.
She entered the station and closed the TARDIS door behind her.
The Doctor had already left a few minutes earlier. He was probably waiting for her to finally arrive so that he could talk about the station's technology and the physics of a binary star system.
She closed her eyes and took a short breath, then exhaled.
Then she opened her eyes again and walked towards the viewing platform the Doctor had mentioned.
Meanwhile, her eyes wandered through the corridors and rooms that offered a glimpse into them. Large halls, small side rooms, and long corridors. In only a few were life forms visible. Some had drinks in their hands, or unidentifiable objects made of fabric or metal.
She turned the next corner, and there he was. His back to her. Standing in this huge room.
He was at the railing, looking through the gigantic glass wall at the binary star.
She stopped briefly, involuntarily. Her heart began to beat faster, also involuntarily. She stood there for a moment and just watched. How he couldn't stand completely still for too long. How his coat lay on his shoulders and moved when he was moving. How his feet couldn't stay still for a minute. How, with his slender body in that large room, he still exuded a kind of majestic aura.
An uncomfortable feeling slowly crept into her mind, urging her to be more normal. Urging her to stop staring at him and instead stare at the incredible things outside the room, outside the station. She was, after all, on a space station with extraterrestrial life forms, even if only a few were present at the moment.
She sighed softly.
She closed her eyes again and breathed in slowly and out even more slowly.
Okay. You can do this. You wanted some peace and quiet. Now you have it. Act normal!
She opened her eyes again and slowly walked towards him. She stared at his back.
Then she remembered her resolutions from a second ago and stared at the railing instead.
It was kind of him to make a stop on a safe place. Of course it was kind. Because he was. A sad smile appeared on her face. She glimpsed at him for a brief moment while she thought about that. Her heart jumped a little and she immediately regretted it and stared at the railing again.
When she finally reached it, she grabbed it with both hands and glanced briefly at him. He already knew it was her and wasn't looking at her.
She saw the star bathe him in a beautiful, bright, yellow-reddish light.
Just one thought appeared in her mind:
Oh.
It was as if she'd been hit. Her breath caught and her eyes widened. The light from the double star illuminated him like an angel.
In that moment, her perception changed forever. It was like a blow to her heart and to a deeply buried part of her mind.
How his curls shone, how the contours of his face were emphasized. How, for once, he wasn't grimacing like a grumpy old man. He looked almost happy, but at least neutral, looking out into the universe.
She stared far too long and far too obviously. A part of her mind, now only tiny at this point, screamed at her not to stare so obviously. But she couldn't help it. She didn't want to stop.
It was like a rare, or even once-in-a-lifetime event, like a total solar eclipse, or the most beautiful sunset you'll ever see.
He noticed her staring at him. Of course he noticed. He was the Doctor. And even if he hadn't been the Doctor, it would have been so obvious that even a fool would have noticed. He gave her a quick, cursory glance and raised one eyebrow.
Then she realised how obvious it was, and how uncomfortable it probably was for him.
She blushed bright red and hastily turned her head forward. Her hands clutched the railing as if she were about to be swept away by a huge wave at any moment. She tried to focus on the stars out in front of her. She felt her body glow with shame. If she could shine like a star, she could have rivalled the double star outside.
God... That was WAY too obvious. I'm sorry... Why does he have to look so beautiful in this light... at this moment... in general...
She looked down at her hands. In her peripheral vision, she saw his hands resting on the railing as well, but not as tensely as hers.
So close and yet light years away...
She felt the urge to rest her hand on his. Just to have some form of outlet for her emotions. Just to show him in a rather harmless way what she feels. But she knew she shouldn't, so she just looked at her hands and felt the vast distance between them.
I'll never be able to tell him, will I?
She felt her stomach lurch with grief.
...how beautiful he is or my feelings...
She felt a brief jolt in her heart.
She looked up again. Now at a point of light right next to the binary, which she presumed was a distant star.
She sighed quietly.
They just stood there, looking through the gigantic window.
For a moment, she just felt the intense feelings in her body.
Still looking at the little yellow star right beside the spectacular binary star she let out one word to ease the pent-up emotions.
"Beautiful."
He glimpsed at her again to estimate what she meant.
He was perceptive. He was the Doctor. And she was afraid of how much he knew or guessed.
Then he looked back into space and answered quietly. "Yeah..."
He didn't push for clarity. He ignored it out of mercy for her and himself and went on to talk about the physics behind the binary system a moment later.
A sad smile appeared on her face again.