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“Treyco, are you in position?” Lindsay’s voice crackles through his earpiece.
“You betcha.” Trevor says, clambering up the last few rungs of the roof access ladder. He slings the duffle bag from over his shoulder and starts setting up his sniper rifle. “Alright, I’m going radio silent. I’ll see you on the other side.” A chorus of ‘see you’s’ echo through his com before he switches it off.
“Sup, man?” Someone says from behind him, Trevor whirls around. This kid is one of the Fakes, Trevor can tell at a glance. Purple hoodie and a bright pink sniper rifle slung over his shoulder. He must be BrownMan. “So, how are you?
“Uh. Look, if you’re trying to kill me, can you do it later? This heist is about to start.” Trevor says and BrownMan laughs.
“I’m not here to kill you, promise. My crew is doing a heist on this street.” He points to the opposite side of the building. “Prime sniping location, here.” Trevor nods and a burst of gunshots ring out. The heist has begun.
There is chaos on the streets. As it turns out, two heists very close to each other create complete confusion. Trevor shoots the cops that venture too close to the Lieutenants’ building. He can hear the shots BrownMan makes behind him. Eventually, both crews get away and Trevor is disassembling his rifle.
“Nice shots.” BrownMan compliments. “My name’s Ray.”
“Trevor. This was very good. Very chaotic.” Trevor chuckles.
“Maybe we can do it again.” Ray says, tentatively. “Not like, joint heists, but close heists at the same time.”
“I’ll talk to Tuggey about it.” Trevor says and he begins to descend the ladder.
A few days later, Jeremy sits Kdin down at the table with the rest of the crew.
“Kdin.” Lindsay says, steepling her hands in front of her. “This is an intervention.”
“An intervention?” Kdin asks, wryly.
“Yes.” Meg says, leaning forward. “You need to learn to love chocolate chip muffins.”
“Jesus Christ.” Kdin says, tilting back in her chair. “Really?”
“You’re tearing this family apart.” Miles sobs, covering his eyes.
“Can’t you see what you’re doing?” Kerry asks. “Who you’re hurting?”
“Just stop.” Kdin protests. “I literally just don’t like them.”
“Eat.” Trevor says, putting a plate with a chocolate chip muffin in front of the other.
“We’re not leaving until you do.” Jon says, smiling slightly.
“We’re just trying to help you, Kdin!” Jeremy says. “Let us help you!” Kdin looks down at the muffin and sighs.
“Can I have a fork, at least?” Kdin asks. Trevor hands her a fork. “God, I hate you all. I hate you so much.”
“Don’t hurt us like this.” Meg says, putting a hand over her heart. Kdin carefully cuts out a piece of muffin and eats it, chewing slowly. She shudders.
“You are all bullies. You all- God. Please, don’t make me eat this.” Kdin pleads. Jeremy shakes his head.
“Eat it.” Jeremy says. Kdin sighs and takes another bite.
It’s another hour before she finishes the muffin.
“I hope you all burn in hell.” Kdin declares.
“Honey.” Miles says. “There are spots reserved for us, already.”
A day later, Lindsay slams a binder down in the kitchen table, nearly knocking Jon’s coffee over.
“Heist time!” Lindsay sing songs. Jon clicks his tongue, cradling his cup to his chest.
“You almost hurt my baby.” Jon croons. Jeremy snorts.
“Anyways.” Lindsay says. “This heist. Pretty big.” Everyone’s going to be on site. Kerry! Miles and you will go in first. He’ll escort you to the tech room, it’s all local systems. Open the outside doors, we come in. Trevor! You and Jeremy make your way to the fifth floor. The guards will probably be grouped at the outpost, take them out. There are outposts on every floor above that, clear them out, too.”
“What about us?” Jon asks, glancing at Kdin.
“Twenty-ninth floor. There’s a safe, you’ll have to hunt around for it, but it’s there. Intel on where it is exactly is spotty. Fight your way up, crack the safe. Simple.” Lindsay grins. “Meg and I will start on the twenty-eighth floor and clear out the guards as we go down. We’ll meet Team Short and Sweet close to the middle.”
“Did you choose our team names for us?” Jeremy asks.
“I like it.” Trevor says. “But only if Miles and Kerry can be Team Tall and Small.” Miles laughs.
“I’ll take it, man.” He narrows his eyes at Lindsay. “Can you and Meg be Team Murder Mad?” Lindsay rolls her eyes.
“Sure.” She looks at Jon and Kdin. “What’s your team name?”
“I got this.” Kdin says. “Team Long Hair, Don’t Care.”
“I totally thought that we were on the same page.” Jon says. “But yours is so much better than mine.” Lindsay’s phone rings, a loud rock song sounding from the tinny speakers.
“Be right back.” She ducks into another room and comes back a few minutes later. “My mole just informed me that Ramsey’s going to hit the same place.” She grins, wolfishly. “We’ve got ourselves some competition.”
“What’s in the binder?” Meg asks, poking at it.
“Huh? Oh. I just needed something to slam down and get your attention.” Lindsay says and they all look at her. “What? It worked!”
Lindsay drags them all to the shooting range the next day.
“We’ll get ice cream after, I promise.” She says. “But we’ve got to shoot perfectly during this heist.”
“We know.” Jon says, spinning his handgun around his finger. The sky is a bright blue, a singular cloud drifting across.
“Let’s just shoot, yeah?” Kdin asks and gunshots begin to ring out.
“I can do it like a gangster.” Meg says, holding her gun sideways.
“Jesus Christ.” Lindsay sighs. “You are not a gangster, Meg!”
“But I could be!” Meg protests.
“Last person to get a headshot pays-” Seven bullets embed themselves in the heads of the human shaped cardboard cut outs. “-for ice cream.” Miles finishes, shaking his head.
“Loser.” Kerry teases, putting his arm on Miles’ shoulder.
They find a small ice cream parlor and Miles pays, albeit reluctantly.
“I refuse to back down from my stance here.” Kdin says. “Green tea is the best kind of ice cream.”
“I disagree.” Trevor says. “The best kind of ice cream is cherry.”
“I think that Kdin is a fucking weeb.” Lindsay smirks. “It’s obviously peanut butter.”
“What trash are you talking, Tuggey?” Meg asks. “Pistachio all the way.”
“You’re all just weird.” Kerry declares.
“I agree, Ker.” Jeremy says. “They’re all weird.”
“You’re weird, too!” Jon protests. “You are literally eating maple syrup ice cream! You are not Canadian! This is unacceptable!” Miles sighs.
“Can we all just agree that we’re weird?” Miles asks and there are nods around the table. “But also that I am right because raspberry ice cream is literal heaven in your mouth?”
“Fuck no!” Kdin says. “I am the rightest one here!”
“No!” Jon protests, again. “You hate chocolate chip muffins! No one that holds that hatred can ever be right about anything.”
“You’re all ridiculous.” Lindsay declares. “Why do I hang out with you?”
“You pay us.” Miles says. “You’re the one that pays us to be here.”
It’s the day of the heist, two weeks later.
“Jon, why are you drinking out of the coffee pot?” Meg asks.
“I’m fucking tired.” Jon grumbles.
“It’s literally midnight.” Miles protests.
“I have the bedtime of a twelve year old.” Jon takes another drink of coffee. “You’re not allowed to judge me.”
“I disagree.” Miles snorts. Jon stares at him.
“I will fucking murder you.” Jon says in monotone. “Then only God will be able to judge you.” Miles looks scared.
“Heist time!” Lindsay shouts, tossing her handgun up and down with no regard for gun safety whatsoever.
Miles and Kerry enter the building, quickly. A few minutes later, the doors unlock and the others rush in.
Meg and Lindsay instantly sprint up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Jeremy and Trevor dash around a corner. Jon and Kdin step into the elevator, calm music playing in contrast to sharp gunfire.