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Sugawara met Y/N when they were children. Their fathers shoved them together when they had to leave for missions. “Keep him occupied,” Sugawara’s father always said. “He’s the boss’ son. It’s an honor.”
He never minded, because they were friends. Y/N kept him close, even after Sugawara’s father died. Y/N kept him closer when becoming the new boss. Sugawara was in his tight-knit circle—something so many people would kill for—and all he had done was show his loyalty over the years.
Although, sometimes he wondered if Y/N ever doubted how genuine it was because of the beginning. They were only eight years old back then. Had he doubted it the older they got? Sugawara hopes not.
It’s winter, and although the building has heat, it’s not filling the space like Sugawara would like. He’s in a long-sleeved shirt and a hoodie, along with thicker jeans and wooly socks. If Y/N saw him, he’d call him ridiculous. That’s exactly why he’s avoiding him.
He walks down the hallway to the kitchen for hot chocolate, because this is the weather that calls for it. He has a stash hidden from Hinata, who would drink it all if given the opportunity.
There’s rustling in the kitchen, which he hears because the door is cracked open slightly. He’s slow with his approach, not wanting to spook someone and get sent to the infirmary from someone’s jumpiness. He peeks through the crack to see Y/N and Daichi by the stove. They’re close to each other, sides nearly touching, and it feels so intimate Sugawara has the urge to walk away from the kitchen entirely.
He doesn’t, though. He’s far too nosey to leave.
“You really don’t need to do this,” Daichi says, his voice soft. He always speaks softer to Y/N than he does anyone else. Most people assume it’s because Y/N is their superior, but Sugawara knows it’s not. He knows there’s more to it than just that.
Y/N glares at Daichi, but there’s no real malice behind it. “Shut up. Obviously, I do if you’re not going to eat an actual meal.”
Y/N is one of the worst cooks they have. The majority of his life people have cooked for him, so there’s never been a reason for him to cook. However, he knows how to make eggs and sausage, even if it doesn’t always turn out well. Daichi has never been a breakfast person, always preferring to eat dinner leftovers in the morning. He’s never let Y/N see, though. Y/N doesn’t eat in the morning. He sleeps in instead.
Daichi sighs before leaning against the counter. “Can you at least put cheese in my eggs?” he asks, even though he hates eggs. Sugawara knows this from the countless times he’s scrunched his nose up at the smell.
“The eggs are for me,” Y/N simply says. “I’m not watching you gag on every bite when I’ll appreciate them just the way they are.”
Daichi freezes slightly, and Sugawara understands. He understands they’re all close—Daichi and Y/N being joined at the hip since before he became boss—but there are things that they thought were secrets. Daichi’s hatred for breakfast being one of them.
“The sausage is for you. I’ll even put syrup on it just how you like it,” Y/N says as he flips over the sausage.
There’s always been unspoken tension between them, ever since Daichi saved Y/N on a mission when they were younger. They’d gotten lost in the gunfire, and Daichi took a bullet for Y/N when everyone else had run away. Daichi tried to claim it was what you did for the boss’ son, but Y/N never bought it. It was the first time Y/N truly confided in Sugawara, telling him he didn’t know what to think about the whole thing.
Sugawara stood in the middle, because Daichi had still been so new to the organization. A rogue orphan with too much knowledge on guns and blades. He didn’t know Y/N well enough for it to be any other reason but Y/N being the boss’ son. However, Sugawara remembers how Daichi had been so panicked about if Y/N was okay, never asking about the boss, who had been hurt during that mission, too.
“Thank you,” Daichi says, nearly a whisper. This is too intimate for Sugawara to see, but he doesn’t walk away. He doesn’t know how.
Y/N doesn’t look away from the stove, clearly focused on not burning their food. “Why are you thanking me? It’s not like I’m not getting something out of this too.”
“I don’t mean just for this.”
Y/N stops moving the eggs around the pan. “Then what for?”
There’s a moment of silence that stretches between them.
“For taking care of me.”
Sugawara needs to leave. He needs to move his feet and run away before he gets caught, because this is too much. His nosiness has boundaries, and he’s aggressively hitting it as he stands here, but he wants to know more. He won’t share it with anyone else, but he wants to see how this plays out. He wants to see if they’ll finally be honest with each other.
“I take care of all my men,” Y/N says, not looking at Daichi but taking the pan with eggs off the stove.
Daichi’s stare is intimate, and Sugawara hopes that one day someone looks at him like that.
“You know what I mean,” Daichi says, and he turns toward Y/N more as he continues to lean against the counter. “It’s different.”
There’s no way the sausage is done, but Y/N takes it off the burner as well. He’s running away, and Daichi knows it.
“It’s different for me too,” Daichi says, and Y/N still won’t look at him. “I care for you differently.”
“Daichi,” Y/N says so softly Sugawara barely hears him. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” Daichi asks as he tilts his head. “I’m just thanking you.”
Sugawara wishes they’d stop beating around the bush. They’d be happier if they just admitted it. There’s more there, and they need to accept it. They need to embrace it, because they’ve been together from when they were teenagers. Not much will change if they just say it.
“I’m not feeling good,” Y/N says. “I may go lay down.”
When he turns to leave, Daichi grabs his wrist. With most people, Y/N would lash out. He’s been trained to act first and apologize later, but he doesn’t now. He lets Daichi hold on to him as he just stands there. Y/N is not a passive person or at least, Sugawara has never known him to be, so it’s strange seeing him like this—allowing Daichi to do whatever he wishes.
“Don’t go,” Daichi says, his voice nearly in a whisper. “I’m sorry.”
Y/N looks up at him, and Sugawara can’t see his face. He wishes he could, though, because he wonders about how open Y/N is being. He wonders how open Y/N usually is with Daichi. Is any of this normal?
“Daichi…” Y/N says, as if a gentle warning. Don’t say it. Don’t do this. Stop.
He goes to turn again, and Sugawara knows he’s going to be caught if he doesn’t move. He has to move. And he manages to get his feet to hurry away from the door, leaving it cracked like it had been the entire time. Sugawara makes it to the end of the hallway when he hears the door creak open.
“Y/N, wait,” Daichi says, voice echoing through the hallway. “Let’s talk about this.”
“It’s late, so I’m going to head to bed,” Y/N says, and his voice shakes. Sugawara has never heard fear in his voice like he does now. “We can talk in the morning, okay?”
“I don’t think we should wait that long.”
Daichi sounds slightly desperate, because he’s losing his chance to actually talk to Y/N. In the morning, Y/N will pretend the night never existed. He can’t do that right after it’s happened.
“Sawamura,” Y/N says, and it’s a warning. He’s using his rank, and Sugawara doesn’t remember the last time he did that. “Drop it until the morning.”
It’s quiet for a long moment. No one moving.
“Okay. We can talk about it in the morning,” Daichi says, defeated.
“Thank you,” Y/N says, and there’s the authoritative tone in his voice that even he hates. He’s spent countless nights with Sugawara trying to figure out how to have power without sounding like his father. “Now, I’m going to sleep. Good night.”
“Good night,” Daichi says.
Y/N’s footsteps echo throughout the hallway as he leaves without saying anything else. Sugawara runs before Daichi can walk this way.