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I hate my life. It was ruined when I turned 7 years old. One day as I was sitting on my couch I felt a pain in my right eye. It hurt so much that it felt like someone was tearing out my eye. Mom! I said. She came over and asked me what was wrong. I told her my eye really hurt. She quickly rushed me into the car and drove to the hospital. I saw a bright white light in my right eye. It was painful. I heard my mom say they said it could be possible. That's all I heard. The pain was so intense I couldn't hear anything or anyone. Then in silence and darkness, I looked around to see nothing but darkness. Then I saw a white light. I went toward the light and I woke up in a hospital bed. I looked around to see my mom, my dad, and my brother. The doctor tells me I’ve been in a coma for 7 hours. He also said I had something called glaucoma. It's the loss of eyesight in one of your eyes. In this case, it was my right eye. I decided to try something. I covered my right eye with my hand. It looked the same without my hand meaning the doctor was right. I wondered what would happen to me. The doctor told me to take these special eye drops. When we went home I thought about my self-image. I went to my bathroom and looked in the mirror. My eyes were supposed to be gray but they were white. I rushed over to my mom’s room and told her about what I saw in the mirror. She told me it was the doctor who told her it was a possible side effect so I would have to live with it. The next day at school I got a lot of weird looks. I walked over to my classroom and told my friends what happened. That's horrible. One said I feel bad for you, said another. I just shrug it off. The rest of the day went on normally. When I turned 10 my friends decided to abandon me for this new girl named Susie. I was still taking the eye drops and my eye was still white but there was a new symptom. Sometimes I would have blackouts just randomly when we were going to go to the doctor. When we got there the doctor told asked me how I was feeling then I had another blackout but this one was different I could look around but all I saw was darkness It made me lose hope in everything I had no idea what I should do I just sat there in darkness until I woke up from the blackout. What happened? I asked what happened. The doctor told me I blacked out and my eye was now yellow. I was very confused. At age 12 I was spending more time with my dad. He made me feel better about myself but then something bad happened to him. When we were playing Mario Kart we heard a knock on the door. Only me and him were home at the time so he went to answer the door and he never came back. After that, I never saw him alive again. After I heard the door close I went downstairs and saw his body. I love you, you know that right he said. Then I passed out. I went back into the darkness. I heard a voice that said you are a failure. Nothing you do will be enough to let your dad die. It hurt me mentally then like most times I woke up in the hospital. I sighed and asked what happened. Then I remembered what happened. The doctor said they didn’t know why I passed out. I just sit there still in disbelief. The doctor then asked me what I remembered last. I told them what I saw and they told me a new symptom may be possible. I honestly didn't care. Then my aunt came into the room and she discharged me from the hospital. As we were driving home I asked my aunt where's my mom. She stayed silent. When we got to the house she let me out then drove away. I opened the door with my house key. No one was in the house. I just went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Yet again my eyes changed color. This time they were red. I just went up to my room and it had begun to rain. I heard a voice in my head telling me to grab a knife. I found one and put a cut on my arm. I bandaged it up and hid it. I sat on my bed and asked myself why I did that. Eventually I heard I knocked on the door. I grabbed a knife and cracked open the door. When I saw it was just my aunt I opened the door. I asked her what's going to happen with my dad. She told me the doctors said he might make it. I ran up to my room and locked the door and sat in my closet. I cried thinking it was my fault that he got hurt. Eventually, my aunt came into my room and told me we were going to the hospital to see my dad. I went into the car and when we got to the hospital they told us he had flatlined about 3 hours ago. I was mortified. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. We went back to my house. My mom was already there. I went up to my room and cried. I still had the knife in my room. After I turned 14 I felt purely depressed. I was starting high school soon but I didn't care. People thought I was okay but it was just a mask to the outside. I stopped having blackouts but I was still half blind. My eyes are purple nowadays. They changed shortly after my dad died. I just had the worst life. Until the new kid showed up. He randomly showed up in the middle of the year in November. The first time I saw him he was staring at me I didn’t know what to do. I just acted like I wasn't aware of him staring at me. Later at lunch, I saw him sitting at a table close to me. He was being swarmed by people but he strangely just looked at me. After school, I usually always go to my house. This time I texted my mom and told her I was going out to do something. Even though I would rather be home I decided to get a smoothie. When I got to the smoothie place I ordered my usual justright strawberry. I went to the waiting area and I saw the new kid enter the store. I put on my hood to cover my face. He stood close to me but I just looked at my phone. Once I got my order I quickly sped out of there. The next day as I was near my locker when the new kid came over and tried to talk to me I Just tried to ignore him but he was so persistent. What do you want from me? I asked him if some kids looked at me confused. I ran to the bathroom for some peace and quiet. Why did this guy want to talk to me? Why did he want to talk to me? Then the bell rang. I quickly ran to my class to see that we are having a partner assignment. The teacher said we all had to have partners. The new kid looked over at me as if asking to be my partner. After class, I told him he could be my partner. I did this to find out why he kept staring at me. He gave me his number so we could talk about the project. I also gave him my number. Then I realized I never got his name but I didn't really care about that either. When I got home I saw a note on the fridge saying she wouldn’t be home until 10:00. I decided to grab a snack before I called up the new kid for the project. So I grabbed a snack from the pantry and watched random videos on my phone. I knew my brother was probably going to be working until late tonight. I called up the new kid and told him to meet up at that new internet cafe. Once I got there I told him my idea for the project. So since we had to make a roller coaster I had the idea to do a generic roller coaster with a secret tunnel. I showed him a 3D printing platform and we started talking. Eventually we started talking about random things then I had to leave so I said goodbye and left. The next few days were kinda like this: wake up, go to school, go home, go to the cafe, talk about the project, then leave. After I leave I usually go to my room and then it’s just a blur. After a while of doing this schedule I eventually became friends with the new kid whose name is Jackson or Jack for short. Then the weekend hits and I invite him over for some video games. We had already finished the coaster so we just played some video games. The next day at school everyone looked at us weird like we were enemies turned best friends. We got an A- for the project, not bad right. He sat with me at lunch and we just talked about random stuff again. He was being friendly but I could tell he was annoyed. Then someone asked who I was and I said me and him were just friends. Even though things at school were getting better, things at home were getting worse. My mom began to favorite my brother because she believed it was my fault that dad had died. She grew a deep hatred of me and thought I was the root of all her problems. It started out with little things like if I asked her to do something or go somewhere she would deny it but then it went farther. She cooked these 5 star meals and only let my brother eat them. He didn’t realize he had become his favorite child. Mom only let me eat lumps of stale bread and water. I didn’t mind it because I wasn’t really eating anyway. Then she took it one step too far. Since I was still half blind I still needed to take my eye drops in hopes my eyesight would come back. My mom took my eye drops and threw them away and she wouldn’t let me go to the pharmacy and get more. One day my mom told me we had no bread left so I would have nothing to eat. I didn’t really care. I just decided to take a walk and clear my head. It was a nice day out, the sun was shining, birds were chirping and it was overall a quiet day in the park. I decided to go back into the house and grab a book. I snuck back in my house and found a good book. I quickly and quietly snuck back out. I headed back to the park. I found a good tree to read under and started to read. I read for so long it became dark. I decided to stay at the park and just sleep there. It wasn't worth going home so I just slept under a tree that night. I woke up with a book on my lap and my phone vibrating wildly. I grabbed my phone and I had several texts from my mom. I just decided to go home, grab my backpack and just go to school. The only thing I texted my mom was I’m not dead. I snuck in my house and grabbed my backpack. I went to the school and as I went through the usual schedule I had a thought. I honestly didn’t like living with my mom and she hates me so I could just run away. I honestly just going to wait a couple of years. When I turned 15 my eyes turned orange. Since I was already paying for most things I had, I decided I would run away. So one day after school I went home, grabbed some stuff and put them into my backpack and left. I opened my phone and deleted my mom’s contact information. Backpack on my back and phone in my hand I take one last look at my house and leave. I felt a strange feeling of happiness at having finally gotten out of that house. I had a lot of money so with that money I had bought myself an old car. I put my stuff in the trunk and parked the car in an alley. Then for a year I had the same schedule which was. Wake up, go to school, go to work, and sleep. I started to get painful burnout and I told nobody even though I had friends I didn’t tell them about it. One day I got a text from my friend Jackson. He had invited me to a party. I decided to come because I had nothing better to do. I asked him if could come early and he told me I could so I now had plans for saturday. When Saturday rolled around I walked over to Jack's house and knocked on the door. “Welcome” he said. I had been to Jack's house before. He told me no one else was going to be home during the party. I helped him set everything up and we even had time to set up a couple party games. It was fun and I liked the break from my everyday routine. Eventually the guests started to show up. Jack had also invited my friends so that was fun. I mostly stood next to Jack for most of the party and I got a couple glances. But I didn’t care. Jack started to spin the bottle truth or dare edition. I sat next to Jack and a bunch of my friends and random people sat down for a game. The bottle landed on me and I said the truth. Someone asked me if I have a crush on anyone? I said “no”. “Are you sure? '' they said “yes I'm sure I don’t” I said. Jackson is just a friend. Eventually after several spins the bottle landed on Jack someone asked him the truth or dare he said dare the person replied “go in a closet and kiss the person to your right. I was sitting to the right of him. Alarms immediately went off in my head. Why would someone make someone do that? But I quickly remembered we were at a party with a bunch of teens. Then me and Jackson get shoved in a closet. Jackson just stared at me and rubbed his neck nervously. We just stared at each other. I tried to open the door to leave but they locked the closet so we were just stuck there. Then randomly told me to close my eyes. So I did, then he kissed me. I didn't see it but I felt it. We both blushed incredibly hard. Then after an hour of still not being let out we both just fell asleep. I woke up in the morning. I was on a couch. It was a familiar couch one that I had seen before. I got up and looked around and realized I was back in my old house. I immediately got up and was about to leave when someone grabbed my arm. It was my brother. I told him to just leave me alone. He told me to wait. I stopped and started to listen. He told me mom wanted to make up and she was grieving after she found out you had run away. Can you please forgive her he asked me. Not yet I told him then I asked him a question. How did I get here? He told me he was at Jack's party and found us in the closet and then brought me home because he didn't know where else to go. I told him "give me some space so I can't stay here". He dropped my arm and let me leave. I knew I would have a lot to think about. I went back to my car Still Parked in the alleyway. Then I used the rear view mirrors in my car to check if my eyes changed color and sure enough they did this time they were green. I sighed and decided to think and finally came up with the decision of me going back home and if it didn’t work out I would leave. So I texted my brother and told him I would be coming back tomorrow. So the next day I packed up some of my stuff and left. I kept some stuff in my car so if it doesn’t work out I could leave. I got to the house and my mom gave me a huge hug and I thought everything would be okay. How wrong I was. It started fine. I helped mom with some household chores and everything went okay. Since things were still a little tense I apologized a lot. Things slowly got back to before dad died and I was happy and I enjoyed being with my mom and brother. Then my mom started to manipulate me. She slowly started to talk down to me and I still had low self-esteem so I believed it eventually I thought of myself as dumb and that I didn't know anything. I was pretty much brainwashed. Until Jack reached out to me. I was doing chores all around the house. I heard a knock on the door. It was Jack. He asked me if I was okay because I hadn't been talking to him or my other friends for a while. I blindly said everything was fine then my mom started to yell at me for not cleaning and I didn't react. He looked at me as if he knew something was off. Then he pulled me outside and closed the door. He showed me the sun and asked me if I felt better. I looked around me and saw a clear blue sky. With that my thoughts became clear. I nodded to his question and I went back inside. Then my mom started yelling at me. I ignored her and went to my room in the early morning. I left the house only leaving a piece of paper with the words I'm sorry brother I can not stay Mom did not change in the slightest so I'm sorry but I'm leaving. I went back to my car and looked in the side-view mirror and saw my eyes had changed color to a whitish gray. For a few days, I just started my cycle of going to school and working. I kept with this cycle until I was 17 years old. As I was heading back to my car one day I got a call that it was my brother. He told me “Mom is in the hospital”. I stayed silent. He explained how she had gotten into a big car crash. I hung up halfway through the conversation. I didn't know how to feel. On one hand, I felt glad karma was returning to her. But on the other hand, she is still my mom. I called my brother back and he asked me to meet him at the hospital. I got in my car and headed to the hospital. I got to the hospital and saw my brother. He brought me to my mom laying in a hospital bed. Then my brother told me that she needed a kidney transplant. I told him I couldn’t help. She was awful towards me after dad died. She tried to manipulate me into staying with her. I left and my brother thought i was an awful person for not even testing if I was a match. A couple days later I learned that my mom had survived but my brother now hated me and I had to live with that fact. After the next couple of months, it was my 18th birthday. I was graduating soon, and I knew no one would be there for me. My brother hated me for not helping Mom, and my mom resents me for what happened to Dad, and my dad's dead. On graduation day I walked to my car in the rain. I started crying then I saw someone. I tried to stop crying but I couldn’t. I sat down on a nearby bench to try and avoid embarrassment. But the person came over to me and just hugged me. I was confused but I just went with it. I was tired, angry, and sad. I told my entire story while sobbing. I then asked their name. They said their name was Lilly. I left shortly after feeling a bit better about my current situation. The next day I decided to go to college. I looked at colleges out of town and got found one the got accepted. I left the next day only letting Jack know i was leaving.