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The Normandy was usually a very loud ship. The crew, the engines, the constant flicking of fingers against small holographic screens… It was a bit much for someone who, legally, had no right to be on a ship, let alone one owned by the Alliance Military. Tonight, though, it was… quiet. Perfectly quiet. Exquisitely quiet, one could say. Seth liked it that way. It made it easier to think without all the noise.
They sat on one of the couches in the observation deck, looking out at the stars, simply admiring the view of the docking bay of the Citadel, and beyond that, the vast expanse of space. Seth very much liked thinking. It allowed them to come up with ideas, to make small fantasies of worlds they’d want to travel to, but most importantly, it allowed them to reflect. Right now, they were thinking back on how in the hell they had gotten here in the first place.
“You have so much potential,” They said... “You could be a great fighter!” They said. “ You could explore the galaxy! ” They said .
Seth was starting to think that what they all said was a lie, a simple lie to get someone who was far too vulnerable at the time to get thrown into war whenever the chance was given. But, being young and stupid, Seth had taken that offer. Thankfully , it had turned out somewhat okay, but now they were stuck on the Commander Shepard’s ship, roaming around and making sure the galaxy doesn’t spontaneously combust. All of that, just because of a little bit of human experimentation, resulting in biotics that could probably throw someone across the galaxy if given the chance.
Sure, they could smile, and laugh, and take (probably) light-hearted jabs, and pretend that everything was perfect and bright and sunshine-and-rainbows all the time, but that got old very fucking fast . To put it in their words, they “Fuckin’ hate it all!”
They leaned back into the couch, their general demeanour going back to what it would much rather be; tired, weary, and generally quite jaded. They stared out into space, their thoughts swirling like an ocean of miasma. They hated it, they hated everyone on the ship, how they’d all treat them like a child, how they’d act so… so condescending to them, it just made them want to rip the ship down to its very atoms.
Then, as if on cue, the door to the observation deck slid open with a whir, revealing Garrus Vakarian, one of Shepard’s main squadmates, who always seemed to find an excuse to ‘recalibrate the weapon systems’. Yeah, right. Seth thought that Garrus probably just used that time to do something indecent, that’s for sure. The Turian looked surprised to see Seth, and cleared his throat in a slightly awkward fashion.
“Er… hey, little guy. What’re you doing up this late? You should be in bed by now…” Garrus’s tone was awkward, which Seth internally scoffed at. They immediately righted their posture, putting on their standard demeanour.
“Oh, Mr. Vakarian! I didn’t expect to see you out here. I was just taking some time to think, you see. It’s a lot quieter here.” They smiled brightly, hoping that their demeanour wouldn’t seem too forced.
Garrus frowned slightly. Seth always acted like this, but that was what bothered him. They always acted like this. No matter the situation, they were always weirdly innocent and enthusiastic, no matter the situation. That bugged Garrus. It bugged him a lot. How could a kid who's been through as much as Seth act like that constantly? Garrus had to get to the bottom of this, if only for their sake. “...you alright, kid…? You seem… off.”
Seth's eyes widened slightly. They hadn't expected Garrus to see through them that easily… “Wh-what? No, I'm perfectly fine! Whatever made you think I was ‘off’?” They said it a bit louder than intended, their personality seeming more forced by the second.
Garrus simply sighed, walking over and sitting down beside Seth. “...I can tell you're not okay, kid. What's going on? Are you okay?” He looked at Seth, his brow (or whatever scaly equivalent) furrowed in concern. He seemed so sincere…
In just one moment, it was like that façade of innocence and wonder faded like rain melting snow away. Seth's eyes widened, and their mouth opened slightly in shock. He was… concerned for them… he was treating them like an actual person. They paused for a moment, looking down at the metal floor beneath them.
“I… No. I… I'm not okay.” They eventually mumbled, their voice tiny, breathy, and barely audible even within the quiet space.
Garrus's features softened (as much as they physically could) as he took a deep breath. “...would… would you wanna tell me what's been going on…?” He looked at Seth, his gaze on theirs as if trying to search for the answer in their eyes.
Seth looked away, trying not to tear up and failing miserably. “...I just… I hate it all… all of it… everything here… having to just stay on this ship essentially in custody ‘til I have to go and fight with the Commander, and then I just get dumped back here without a second thought. I don't even get to go on shore leave with you guys! Not that any of you would want me to, I mean, you all hate me, don't you? You think I'm weird as all hell, don't you...?” Seth looked over at Garrus, their eyes sparkling with unshedded tears waiting to be released, a faint biotic field emanating from their body.
In just a moment, they wiped their tears, and their entire demeanour became… unsettling. As if they've just cracked, and are barely holding themselves together before they shatter into a million pieces, their feelings simmering like a pot left on to boil for too long. “...you all hate me, don't you? You all think I'm a freak , don't you? You take one look at me and think “Ah, there's the little psychic freak! We should keep clear of them, they could hurt us!” I wouldn't hurt anyone… would I…? Would I…? ” They seemed to seethe slightly, tensing up. “Would I? Would I?! Tell me! Would I hurt you?! Would I!?” They grabbed Garrus by the collar of his breastplate, their gaze crazed, their very pupils shaking. They started to tear up again, small pricks of liquid dotting the corners of their eyes. “...w-would I…? I- I wouldn't want to……”