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The stay in the hospital had been bad… Sam had said it was PTSD… what they used to call shellshock, and Bucky figured… yeah after what he went through that made sense. The trial had been even worse. Watching it rip Steve from half his friends, again even after the physical fighting had ended and things were getting patched up slowly.
The trial was far than the hospital, they got him a lawyer… Matt Murdock, a good but strange guy. He wanted to just take a deal and do some time in jail, be punished for what he did, but Steve pleaded with him, and Matt said he hadn’t had a choice in the things he done.
Nat took the stand and talked about the RedRoom and what they’d done to both of them, they showed the files, and reel to reel footage of them trying to get him under control, drugging him, beating him, torturing him.
One of the Jury’s vomited and a recesses was called.
Bucky took the stand and veteran's groups in the gallery showed small signs of support but he still found himself dry heaving in the bathroom when he was finished.
He was the only one surprised by the not guilty verdict that followed after two weeks of deliberation.
He’s looking around the one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn things still in boxes… Sam had tried to talk him and Steve into picking someplace new, said it would be healthier a fresh start, not dwelling in the past.
But now… there was no way to dwell in the past the way Brooklyn was now. But it felt safe, even when he was trapped with the RedRoom, after a mission when his programing was starting to fracture he came back to Brooklyn, to the ruins of the old apartment block he and Steve lived in… they dragged him back locked him up for a few months and reprogrammed him repeatedly.
It wasn’t living in the past… it was just this was home… this was someplace he felt like he could rebuild. He looks around at the boxes, and listens to Steve unpacking the kitchen and looks out the window and the city skyline not far away and the Avengers tower in the distance. A pang of guilt hits him as he looks at the gleaming building, then around at the small one bedroom. Still a giant step up from the shoe box they used to call home.
He thinks Steve could be living there in all that space, if had just stayed gone.
Steve comes over and wraps his arms around Buck’s waist head going to Bucky’s shoulder and pressing a small kiss to Bucky’s neck as some of the tension melts out of him.
“Stop thinking about what you’re thinkin’, pal.” Steve says smiling against Bucky’s neck a little.
“I just… I should have stayed gone… you could have all we ever talked about.” Buck laughs a little.
“Buck… I chose you, I’ll always choose you, because you always saw me, even when I was scrawny, and you still saw me after the serum… your the only one that sees Steve… that is why I’ll always choose you.” He says
Bucky closes his eyes for a long moment, “God you’re such a sap.” He laughs softly shaking his head.
“Anyway jerk, look around, this is more than we ever dreamed we have.” He smirks a little.
“Such a punk… but yeah I guess the digs are okay.” He says moving away to help Steve start unpacking the apartment.