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Chapter Text

March 2011

Na Heedo knew she had no excusable reason to be feeling so nervous for Yurim's wedding. Her best friend was getting married. It should have been a joyous and laid back occasion.

But her stomach was full of anxious butterflies who had just escaped their cocoons.

She knew why.

She didn't like that her body betrayed her mind, but it did.

Baek Yijin would be present at the wedding.

Despite having moved on from their breakup, she'd still left a piece of her heart with him forever. He was her first love. The one that had taught her what love was in every way. How could she NOT still feel warm feelings for him?

He was the one person she'd experienced those very important firsts with. No one else could ever replicate that.

Maybe she wasn't IN love with him anymore, but she would always love him.

They wouldn't be together. Ever. She knew that. She was satisfied with her life. She had a husband and small child. She was happy most of the time.

But there would always be some regret. She hadn't broken up with him because she'd stopped loving him. That in itself was a big part of the problem. Perhaps if they'd ended with her absolutely hating him, she could walk into this wedding with no butterflies. Just a hello and small chat and goodbye.

The way they had left things had left a bit of their love in tact. She didn't have enough closure. And she had to live with that. 99.9% of the time, it was fine. Normal.

The problem was being in his orbit.

Like today.

She knew this was the reason they could never hang out. Never be friends. Maybe some exs could do that? But not them. Those little bits of love left in her heart would make it impossible. You couldn't be just friends with someone you love. It hurt too much. Sometimes, she wished they had never tried romantic love. It had ruined their perfectly wonderful friendship. But apparently there was no going back to that. Any type of relationship was gone forever and that was indeed heartbreaking.

So Na Heedo put on her brave face. She steeled her reserve like she used to do out on the piste. And she was determined to beat down the butterflies in her stomach like the gold medalist she was. And even if she couldn't, she'd walk away with her head held high.

She knew they would meet. Whether it would just be acknowledging one another with friendly bows, or a full on small talk chat, she did not know. It was ridiculous she was so nervous. Insane actually. The songs all said first loves were hard to get over. They weren't kidding.

She spent as much time as she could in the bridal room with Yurim. Taking pictures. Complimenting Yurim on her beauty and poise. She and Seungwan then helped Yurim stand up and navigated her way to her father.

As Heedo stepped out into the corridor to find her husband Mr. Kim, her heart stopped.

She hadn't seen her first love in person in 9 years.

But there he was.

Baek Yijin was there filling out a card and depositing his gift. Still larger than life to her. His presence was just like a magnet. She was drawn to him. Her eyes. Her body. All of her.

There was a woman on his arm. Beautiful. Of course.

An immature, seething green jealousy spread through her body. A panic set in.

Her body was betraying her yet again. She knew this was the most likely possibility. Him with a girlfriend. She'd prepared for it.

But she'd put up a mental defense that she wouldn't let it bother her. She wouldn't let it. She'd moved on. She had very much expected him to move on as well.

She loved her husband and was devoted to her marriage.

It still felt like a gut punch.

What on earth was wrong with her? She wondered if it was time for some therapy to be honest. There was no way this was normal, right?

The butterflies had died and now she felt like she'd been stabbed. A roaring heat of....something.

"Na Heedo, there you are," Mr. Kim came striding over to her. "Ready? I assume we will sit on the bride's side even though you are friends with both?"

Heedo was dizzy. Shaky now. "Yeah," she managed to stammer. She needed to at least be sitting. She allowed her husband to lead her inside the wedding hall. It was like she was in a tunnel now. Her eyes could only find HIM as he and his partner walked in front of her. He still towered over those around him and drew the eyes of others to his presence. She could see it as she walked behind the couple. All eyes on Yijin. Particularly the female gazes. She found herself rolling her eyes.

Yijin and his date stopped at a table on Jiwoong's side of the aisle. Seungwan was sitting there too with her boyfriend Baek Yihyun.

Heedo was seated across the aisle on Yurim's side.

She knew that even though Yijin was closer to Yurim than Jiwoong, he had been placed across the aisle for....reasons. Reasons that were pretty obvious.

Heedo groaned as she reached their table. What had Yurim been thinking?

Coach Yang and her MOTHER were both seated there.

Had it been so long that Yurim had forgotten their history? Heedo hoped they wouldn't start taking shots at one another as they often did when they were in the same room.

Yurim had gotten it right splitting up Yijin and Heedo, but this table choice may have been a mistake with the two older women.

The other two guests at the table were 2 other fencing coaches that Heedo knew well.

"Is she ready Heedo?" her mother asked earnestly.

"That girl is always ready," interjected Coach Yang.

"Yes, they should be entering any minute now," Heedo replied and she was correct.

The traditional Korean music swelled and the bride and her father entered the wedding hall. The guests stood and Heedo stood up on her tiptoes anxiously looking for Yurim.

Her eyes collided with Yijin's.

The butterflies came back from the dead and her heart started pounding. She became dizzy.

He gave a professional smile and offered a small bow.

She followed suit and resumed her search for Yurim. Heart racing still.

At eye contact.

You are such an idiot! She thought to herself. She vowed to keep her eyes straight ahead the rest of the ceremony. Unfortunately, he was in her line of sight. But with laser focus, she would ignore him.

As Yurim and her father ambled by, their eyes met again. And she panicked as she really didn't know how to go about this now. They couldn't keep bowing at each other every time this happened. That would be ridiculous.

Baek Yijin couldn't stop his eyes from finding her in the crowd.

He willed himself to stop.

But he couldn't.

That woman blazed like a torch in the darkness. She was always a shining light for him that would lead him to good places and away from bad ones.

Did no one else see this? Feel this? Sense her aura and spirit that just filled up a space?

He'd felt her the moment he'd walked into that wedding hall. His eyes had spotted her down the hallway as he'd signed in. His heart began to pound. He wasn't ready for that yet. He just....couldn't. Not before the wedding.

He needed to get through the wedding first and then maybe they could get through some cordial hellos and a bit of small talk.

But the moment he stood up in that wedding hall, she had been directly in his view somehow glowing. His jaw had absolutely dropped.

Despite wearing a navy blue cocktail dress, she shone like a gold medal to him. She almost looked like a completely different person dressed up fancy-yet just the mature version of the Na Heedo he had loved. She'd really grown into herself in the past 9 years. Drop dead gorgeous, perfectly poised and somehow at 30, at the peak of her beauty. That much was obvious.

She'd grown more beautiful without him. She'd thrived without him. She must be happy. That was all he had ever wanted for her. To have a good life despite his broken heart at losing her.

He couldn't keep his eyes from straying back to her. Frankly, it was ridiculous. His body was betraying him when he had begged it not too.

Their eyes met. He managed a bow but couldn't look away. Seconds later, she caught him staring again.

That little pattern continued for the rest of the wedding ceremony. Their gazes would meet accidentally and quickly look away. He began to wonder if he was the only one staring. Was it possible she was doing the same thing?

Jiwoong and Yurim were pronounced husband and wife and the crowd clapped and cheered joyfully. The time came for group pictures. Afterwards, they would all eat.

A large group photo was taken followed by various smaller groups of family and friends.

Seungwan pulled Yijin aside. "Yurim was wondering if we could do a squad photo....um....of the old squad from back when the two of them got together. That time was very special to her. And you were the one who encouraged Jiwoong and all....I mean, it's been nearly a decade. Everyone here is still friends except....well...except you and Na Heedo. Could you just do a picture with her to appease Yurim on her wedding day? She loves us all and wants a picture of us all together. Like the old days."

"Of course," he said quickly. "It's no big deal at all."

"Great. Head up there with Yurim and Jiwoong. I'll go get Heedo. Hopefully."

"Hyung," the newly married Jiwoong pulled out his phone. "We're recreating this photo. Look, you get to put your arm around me like we're besties."

Yijin glanced down at the beach photo. He remembered seeing several of these pictures in Heedo's old photo albums. He'd only ever had one picture of the beach trip. It was of Heedo looking adorable. He still had it somewhere. Buried deep in a book on his bookshelf.

"Yeah, fine." Yijin threw his arm around Jiwoong and rubbed his head playfully. "Congratulations buddy. You did it. You got her. I've never been more proud."

Seungwan and Heedo approached. He knew that recreating the picture would involve Heedo standing right next to him with her arm up in a v-pose. He sighed with relief that he didn't need to actually touch her. That would be way too much.

She didn't look up at him as she approached but he felt her. Somehow he felt her even if their bodies weren't touching. He WAS touching Jiwoong and it didn't even register. But he was inches from Heedo and somehow it felt like they were pressed together. His breath hitched as Seungwan pushed Heedo even closer. How did he feel her body heat so strongly?

"Ok, gang, have a good look at the picture," Yurim said as Jiwoong flashed his phone down at Heedo and Seungwan so they could see their poses.

"Ready, set, pose!" Jiwoong cried as the camera flashed.

"Again! Change things up!" the photographer instructed and the squad threw different hand signs and Seungwan pulled Heedo close to her. Jiwoong grabbed Yurim and Yijin was the odd man in the middle.

"Ok, one more," the photographer directed. "Everyone put your arms around each other for a big happy group pose."

Yijin froze. He wasn't sure he could handle putting his arm around Heedo like that.

But he didn't need to. She did it first. He could feel her arm wrap around the top of his waist. He'd recognize her touch anywhere. Soft, yet firm and gentle.

Instinctively, he put his arm around her shoulders. Cradling her to him. She was close enough he could breathe in the smell of her shampoo and feel the silkiness of her hair against his neck. This was going to kill him.

But it was over within seconds.

He and Jiwoong were pushed aside for more girl photos. He hesitantly stepped back down into the crowd.

His date Oh Yoomi rushed up to him. She seemed overly excited. "Oh my God! Was that the Queen of Fencing Na Heedo up there with you? I mean, obviously we came to the wedding because you knew Fencer Ko Yurim, but I never fathomed she would invite Na Heedo. But it makes perfect sense that they were friends and competitors over the years! But do you know her too?" Her eyes gleamed with interest.

Yijin rubbed his neck uncomfortably. "Uh...yeah. That was kind of a friend group we had way back 10+ years ago."

"I am a HUGE fan of Fencer Na Heedo. Do you think....is it possible you could introduce me to her? Get an autograph maybe?"

"Oh...um...well, yeah, maybe," Yijin stuttered. "After dinner." He hoped he'd have enough courage after a few drinks. He led her back to their table.

What kind of situation was this?

Oh Yoomi and he had been on several dates now. She was a fantastic woman. Truly lovely in both looks and personality. But it was obvious yet again (and especially after today) that she was not the one for him.

Heedo had been one of a kind. He had no idea how he was going to recreate someone like her. Someone that inspired that kind of love they had.

He needed to find a woman that just stood out like a glowing beacon to him. Like Na Heedo had. And apparently still did. He hoped someday her light might fade a bit and he could move on.

That day was not today.

The buffet was opened and the drinks flowed.

Yurim threw her bouquet right into Seungwan's arms.

It again became a game of his eyes and Heedo's. Coming together and then looking away in embarrassment.

As the dinner was wrapping up, Yijin decided it was time. He had been watching Heedo and she and her husband were clearly finishing up as well. The staff had announced they would begin cleaning up in 20 minutes.

He decided that talking to Shin Jaekyung and Coach Yang was a good cover. He'd bow politely to Heedo's husband.

"Come on," he said to Oh Yoomi. "I'll introduce you to Na Heedo. I'm certain she will give you an autograph."

Heart pounding, he made his way across the aisle.

Na Heedo pretended she didn't see Yijin and his partner coming toward their table. But she'd been watching him like a hawk all evening. She just couldn't stop herself. She looked at her glass like there was something super interesting on there.

And then his voice. His lovely, deep, calming voice.

"Hello Sunbae. Nice to see you."

Shin Jaekyung bowed. "Baek Yijin, you're doing so well. UBS News is even higher ranked than when I was there. I made the right choice."

"Yijin!" cried out a drunk Coach Yang. "Long time, no see! Would you be interested in doing a documentary on me?"

"Good lord, get yourself together woman," scolded Shin Jaekyung. "He's way past doing documentaries. I'm cutting you off!"

Yijin's eyes then slid to hers and she felt herself gasp a little.

"Na Heedo." he bowed again. "Retirement treating you well?"

She cleared her throat. "Yes, I'm doing well, thank you."

"My friend here Oh Yoomi is a big fan of yours. She was hoping for an autograph perhaps?"

Heedo let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

Friend. He'd said friend.

But why should it matter to her? She'd moved on. He should be able to as well. It wasn't her place to be jealous and hope he'd never have a wife and family of his own. That would be horrible of her. In fact, he most likely had the pick of literally any woman he wanted with his face card and fame.

"Oh, yes, of course," Heedo rummaged clumsily in her purse as Oh Yoomi told her the usual things she heard from her fans.

She listened graciously and repeated her often used phrases to thank her fans for their support and love. She wrote out the autograph directly to Oh Yoomi with a little message of thanks.

"Thank you so much!" squealed Oh Yoomi. "I'll have it framed and show all my friends. You're amazing Fencer Na!"

"What, Yijin, you don't want an autograph?" blurted out Coach Yang. "I mean, back when you were dating, she'd only won 1 Olympic gold medal and was Korea's queen of fencing. Now she's won 3 Olympic golds and is the world's queen of fencing!"

Yoomi's eyes went back to Yijin with surprise. No one else in the group seemed shocked at this new information.

"You DATED the Queen of Fencing?" she asked with a shocked expression.

Yijin honestly didn't know how to respond and Heedo replied in his stead.

"Yes, it was a while ago," Heedo smiled fondly. "He was my biggest supporter back then. I couldn't have gotten this far without him, truly. Thanks Yijin."

"Same Heedo," Yijin said softly.

"Well, we've got to get going. We promised the babysitter we'd be home by 10:00," Mr. Kim put a possessive arm around Heedo and started to lead her away.

"Have a good night, everyone," Heedo said with a slight bow. "Mom, I'll call you tomorrow."

She deliberately let her eyes slide to Yijin one last time as a final goodbye. She couldn't quite read what was there. It almost seemed like panic? Pleading? An impossible goodbye.

Hot tears stung her eyes as they walked away from him.

There was SO much she wanted to say to him.

But today was not that day.

They'd had to say goodbye with their eyes.

Chapter Text

"This weekend is going to ROCK!" squealed Seungwan with obvious excitement. "Thanks so much girls!" She pulled Yurim and Heedo in for a big group hug.

Ji Seungwan and Baek Yihyun were getting married in a few weeks. The wedding was going to be huge. Seungwan and Yihyun both were hugely popular and had tons of friends.

Seungwan had caught the bouquet at Yurim's wedding in March 2011. Baek Yihyun had taken the hint and within a few months, had proposed. Seungwan had happily accepted.

Yihyun had had a crush on Seungwan since he was only 14 years old and Seungwan was 18. They'd finally gotten together when he was 24 and she was 28. Now, at 27 and 31, they were marrying and were very happy.

Seungwan was on trend. Always. Working in the entertainment TV industry as a producer, she knew what was new and awesome.

Bridal showers were a new big thing.

Groups of women would get together for big parties before the weddings. Eating, drinking, playing games, etc.

Seungwan had wanted a big girls getaway to the ocean. She'd hinted at it very strongly. In fact, she'd given Yurim a big list of women that she would have fun with at a party. Heedo had looked at the list and didn't know any of them. Pretty much all of them worked with Seungwan. Some were friends of Seungwan's from college.

In total, there were 15 women invited as the big rental house had room for 15 guests. Yurim was rolling in money now with her fencing school and rented the house and was paying for a catering service for the weekend.

The women all carpooled down Friday night to prepare for a big fun dinner. Seungwan in her tradition wanted to drink all night long for one of her last weekends not being married. Girl time was not as common after marriage right?

They pulled up to the large beach house. It was in the same small town that Baek Yihyun's mom was from. That's how Seungwan knew so much about the vacation rental homes in the rea.

Heedo hadn't been to the ocean in forever. She got out of the car and breathed in the salty ocean air. It was a perfect summer temperature and the humidity felt just right.

She texted her husband to let her knew that they had arrived. He was on Minchae duty alone all weekend. Or so she thought. She got a text back about 15 minutes later.

--Something came up at work. Took Minchae to my Mom's for the weekend. Text or call her if you want to check up on Minchae--

Heedo sighed.

Mr. Kim had started a business that was doing incredibly well. However, the more success it had, the more he was gone or super busy with the business.

She was proud of him but with more success, things seemed to get harder for her. He had just gone and upgraded their house again. She'd liked their old house but he persuaded her that since he was making more money, they needed a bigger and better home.

So they'd moved. It had been a very stressful situation. Mr. Kim had actually been called away on business to the states the week of the move. Heedo had been left scrambling to get the move done and sign all the paperwork and get it emailed to him in LA. Heedo had ended up doing nearly all the moving and instructed all the truck drivers. She hadn't even WANTED to move, but had gotten stuck with all of it anyway. She'd unloaded everything and put the new house together.

They'd finally gotten completely settled a few weeks ago, but she was still stressed. So a getaway weekend was the perfect retreat.

She didn't know the women here and honestly thought she might just lay out on the beach a lot of the time. She needed some peace and quiet after the chaos of the move. She knew Seungwan wanted to drink and party all weekend, but Heedo honestly wasn't up for it as much as she used to be. She never could handle her alcohol well.

But it would still be a fun weekend away.

She was sharing a small room and bathroom with Yurim. It was super cozy and reminded them both of their time as roomates at the training center.

"Look at us moving in here for the weekend," chuckled Heedo. "Remember when I moved in with you at the training center? And we got into that huge fight?"

"Those were the days," Yurim agreed as she put away some clothes from her suitcase.

"Will you be missing Jiwoong terribly this weekend?" Heedo teased.

"No, it's fine. I need a girls weekend and a weekend away from the fencing school to be honest. Will you be missing Mr. Kim?"

Heedo grimaced. "He left again on business apparently."

"Wow, his business is sure crazy busy. What about Minchae?"

"He left her with his parents again. She'll be fine. She loves being spoiled at her grandparents. They practically raised her the first 3 years of her life when I was still fencing professionally. I'll be forever grateful to them. But I wouldn't have come if I knew he was just going to take off again. They did SO much for me for so long, I hate just leaving her with them with no warning."

"No, you deserve this," Yurim insisted. "I know you sometimes say you feel like a single parent lately with this new business. Single parents deserve breaks too."

"I know I say that. I should be more grateful," Heedo replied. "He takes care of us and did get us this beautiful new house we just moved into."

"Hmmphhh.....the house you didn't even want," Yurim said under her breath. "But I'll shut up about that."

"It's fine. It really is amazing."

"You know what's not amazing?" Yurim sat on the bed. "You not even coming to Seungwan's wedding. Are you sure you won't reconsider?"

No, she would not reconsider.

After how awkward it had been running into Yijin at Yurim's wedding last year, she didn't want that scene again. It had rocked her entire world. She'd been totally off sorts for weeks and had many times considered contacting Yijin. She just....had so much she had wanted to say and that had not happened. Like they had unfinished business? Although they really didn't have loose ends so she truly didn't understand her longing to contact him.

"No," Heedo whispered. "It's just...she's literally marrying into Yijin's family. He'll be there. His parents will be there. His aunts and uncles. I knew all those people at one time. I loved them and they loved me. I can't....I just can't Yurim. Maybe I can watch the video afterwards?"

"I understand," Yurim said holding her hand. "You guys had a really huge love and traumatizing breakup. I get why you don't want to be around him."

"I think....Yurim I think a tiny part of me will always love him," Heedo admitted. "That's part of the problem. I can't be around him. That's not right. I'm married and have a family."

"That's what they say," Yurim said sadly. "You never get over your first love. Not all the way. So it hurts more. It's normal I think. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"You'll never have to worry about that, will you? Not getting over your first love?" Heedo said.

"No, no I won't. I married mine," Yurim frowned. "But I do feel for you Heedo. Maybe it will just take more time. It's only been 10 years. Maybe the bigger the first love, the harder it is to totally get past and accept. That's why there are so many songs and poems written about it. Give it more time. And Seungwan understands too about missing your wedding." This weekend will be your time to celebrate with her. You'll make it awesome!"

The two best friends headed downstairs to join in on the huge dinner party. As dinner ended, the drinking games started. Heedo played the first few games, but was then bored.

Until the real excitement of the evening began....

The doorbell rang. Everyone assumed more food had been ordered. Seungwan opened the door.

"SURPRISE!!!" Jiwoong burst through the door with Yihyun in tow. "We are here to crash the party!"

Yihyun was wearing a golden crown and was actually handcuffed.

"Baby I'm so sorry," Yihyun pleaded with Seungwan. "I did not want to crash your party. Your diaper bestie was feeling a little left out since he wasn't invited. He literally kidnapped me and dragged me down here."

"You asshole!"Seungwan started beating on Jiwoong and began chasing him around the room. "This was supposed to be a girls weekend and you are ruining it!"

"You can't have a party without me. I'm your best friend. It's not my fault I'm a male," Jiwoong put his hands up in surrender as he hid behind the table. "Listen you just can't. You won't have as much fun without your bestie. So....I rented the house next door and brought down Yihyun and a bunch of our guy friends. We'll stay away from you as much as you want. But when you want him, I've got him handcuffed and ready to go for you. Or if you want any of the rest of the men ladies...." Jiwoong clapped his hands.

About 10 men raced into the room.

"How can girls have a fun party without the guys?" roared Jiwoong with excitement.

A large whoop of excitement rose from some of the girls in the group. Having boys around could be a lot more fun and make the party better.

"Why is Yihyun handcuffed?" Yurim rushed over to also slap her husband.

"It was the only way to get him to come," admitted Jiwoong. "He's no fun."

"And the crown?" asked Heedo.

"Oh, well he's the groom. You've got to distinguish who the groom is. Make sure none of you ladies go chasing after him. He's the king for the weekend you see."

Seungwan sighed. "Fine. You win Jiwoong. Invite all your boys in. Let's party!"

With men present, the party somehow got a lot louder. Jiwoong got the music blasting and several of the guys set up drinks stations.

Heedo wouldn't admit it outloud, but she had carefully checked through the group of men to see if Yijin was there.

He was not.

I mean, if anyone would have been at Yihyun's bachelor party, it should have been his own brother. But she rechecked twice. He wasn't present. But she had known when they had all rushed in that he wasn't with them. She would have felt his presence. Plus, deep down she knew he would never have participated. In fact, he would have put a stop to it.

Heedo was feeling old too. She and Yurim were the only married women here. Yurim's husband was there now. She had planned to hang out with Yurim all weekend, but now Jiwoong was there.

She felt alone now and not just old.

She meandered down to the beach feeling sorry for herself. The dark air was heavy and warm. A perfect summer night. The full moon sparkled off the waves as they crashed along the shore. Heedo walked barefoot through the surf and felt the waves caressing her calves.

As her life went on, she thought she'd begin to feel less and less alone. But for some reason, things seemed to be backsliding. Her husband was gone all the time. Her two best friends were now marrying. To make matters worse, they were marrying into the Baek family.

She could see herself becoming the odd man out. And seeing her life become more and more of being alone. Like how she'd been before she met this group.

She sat down on the dry sand and began stacking a few shells. They softly clicked together as she built the tower. At some point, they would come crashing down and she'd start over.

Her thoughts had turned to Yijin. As they usually did when she was contemplating and had time to think. Especially now as she'd stacked shells with him before. On this very beach. It was the weekend she'd come to the realization that she was in love with him.

And so she sat. Stacking shells until she began yawning. She glanced back at the house and could hear the faint booming of bass from music. She chuffed back through the sand to the party. With a quick check in with Yurim, she headed upstairs for a warm shower and bed. She slept like a log.

Heedo awoke to a huge commotion. Yurim sat up straight across the small room from her. Loud voices and people running up and down stairs....some yelling...

Heedo and Yurim yanked their door open. The door across from them also opened and a one of Seungwan's friends and one of the guy friends came stumbling out. The girl looked at them with a small smile of embarassment.

The girls raced to the top of the stairs to look down at the chaotic scene.

"Seriously, Jiwoong, this isn't funny anymore. Give my brother back to me or I swear to God...."

Baek Yijin was standing in the doorway near the bottom of the stairs.

He was actually looming rather than standing. The veins were popping out of the side of his neck. Jiwoong was holding Yihyun hostage further inside the house.

"Ok, ok. Hyung, you know I will always bow down to you," Jiwoong bowed in apology and released Yihyun.

"I got a text last night WHILE I WAS ON AIR FOR UBS from your Diaper Buddy saying you'd literally kidnapped her fiance and that she didn't know what to do with you. Apparently you weren't even listening to Yurim which was shocking. So I'm the only one left you'll actually listen to. So I only sleep 5 hours last night and drive my ass down here at the crack of dawn to get him." Yijin yanked Yihyun away from Jiwoong.

"It was just Bachelor party pranks," Jiwoong said apologetically. "I thought it would be funny to kidnap the groom. Sorry hyung. I thought it would make a funny story to tell their kids and grandkids."

"It's only funny if he thinks it's funny," Yijin said sternly.

Yijin had the whole house listening now as if he was the parent and everyone else were the children.

"I did not think it was funny," Yihyun glared at Jiwoong. "But I'll get over it. You owe me big time."

"And me big time," Yijin agreed. "In fact..." He looked around and finally realized what a huge audience he had.

"Jesus, what IS this? Some kind of-" he stopped abruptly as his eyes collided with Heedo's as she looked down from the balcony. Her stomach started flip flopping.

"It's my bridal shower. I invited all my top girl friends down here for the weekend. Jiwoong crashed it with a party of his own." Seungwan started smacking Jiwoong some more.

"I made it more fun. It's a lot more fun when you have girls AND guys," Jiwoong pleaded his case with Yijin.

"Hmmphh," Yijin turned back to Yihyun. "I'll take you back in a little bit if you want. I want to visit uncle first since I'm here anyway, and then we can be on our way."

The Yijin yellfest was over. Yihyun was free and people startied milling about again. A breakfast spread was laid out in the kitchen. Heedo's stomach couldn't even grumble. It was too busy feeling butterflies and panic again. And she was honestly angry at herself. Why did he effect her like this? It literally made no sense whatsoever. They never talked, they never really interacted. Time should be healing everything. Shouldn't 10 years be enough?

Yijin was feeling ruffled.

Obviously.

He didn't prefer chaos in his carefully crafted life. He lived a drama free life now.

But throw in Jiwoong with a side of Na Heedo and that created exactly the situation what caused him to get so off kilter.

"At least have a bite to eat before you go," Yurim had arrived at his side at the buffet brunch.

"Why not. I need some food to keep myself awake for the drive back," Yijin said scooping up some eggs. "So...are you girls having a lot of fun at this thing?"

"I think we will now. Now that the prank is over. My husband can be an idiot sometimes, but I still love him. Seungwan will get over it too."

"Yihyun will eventually. But he holds grudges," Yijin grinned. "Jiwoong better watch out."

"I'm worried about Hee...never mind," Yurim waved him aside.

"Is she ok?" Yijin's response was quick. "Is she healthy?"

"Oh, yeah, I mean. Well, I think she's feeling pretty lonely this weekend and might not be having much fun. Seungwan and I both have our husband and fiance and the rest of the girls are single and having fun with the rest of the single guys. So I think she's just...not having fun."

"You want me to bring her back?"

"Maybe. I mean, she spent all last evening alone out on the beach while the rest of us partied in here."

"That's not like her," Yijin frowned.

"I know, that's why I'm a little concerned." Yurim led them to a long table and sat down amongst a gaggle of women.

"Aren't you news anchor Baek Yijin?" giggled one of Seungwan's friends from her entertainment show.

Yijin frowned again. He was in a position he never, ever liked being in.

A place full of single women.

"Yes," Yurim said. "This is Baek Yijin. He'll be Seungwan's brother in law in a few weeks."

A group of women had now gathered around Yijin. He began to feel trapped and uncomfortable.

"Are you single, oppa?" burst out one woman and the whole gaggle started laughing and giggling.

"No, I'm not."

Groans all around.

"Can I have your number so if you're ever single, you can contact me?"

"What's your type?"

"Excuse me, I need to go." Yijin's annoyance was hitting peak level.

Yijin did his best to excuse himself from the table. Women were reaching for his arm. He was looking for an exit.

In the doorway to the exit stood Na Heedo.

Holding a pastry, observing the scene. She was dead still. They locked gazes. Her eyes were narrowed with some kind of irritation or annoyance.

"Come on," Yurim was at his side trying to pull him out of the group of women trying to strangle him. She motioned for Heedo to lead the way through.

"Let's get some air," Yurim said pulling him outside. "Heedo, come with us?" She grabbed Heedo with her other arm and the 3 of them made their way down to the beach.

"It will be nice and peaceful down here now won't it?" Yurim said with authority.

Yijin could feel the awkwardness again. Between himself and Heedo. How had it come to this?

He used to feel more comfortable around her more than anyone in the entire world. Talk with her more easily than any person he'd ever met.

And now, it was like this giant chasm of weirdness.

Thankfully, at that moment, Jiwoong and Seungwan came jogging onto the beach behind them.

The 5 of them sat down lined up looking out at the sea.

"They're going to start playing some dating games up there," Seungwan remarked. "No place for all of us married and taken people."

"All but Hyung," Jiwoong teased. "Get back there then, huh? When's the last time you had a girlfriend? I remember the woman at our wedding but never saw her again. You're getting out of your prime man. Now's your time!"

Yijin winced. His eyes as usual strayed involuntarily to Heedo but she defiantly kept her gaze out to sea.

"I....uh, I actually am seeing someone. I was planning to introduce you at the wedding in a few weeks."

"Ah," snickered Seujgwan. "Hence the REAL reason why you need to rush back tonight. Plans with her tomorrow then?"

Yijin rubbed his neck. "Yea." He didn't want to overshare. He'd been seeing this new girl for a few weeks who was just the usual. Beautiful and successful and the perfect candidate for a wife and family. He knew he had the pick of basically any woman in Seoul. He was well off and famous. And he'd heard not too hard on the eyes either.

But....he had to stop running into Heedo like this. It would simply remind him every time.

That no woman could ever compare to her.

SHE was what he wanted.

But he couldn't have her.

It was his living nightmare that just wouldn't end.

Not being with his soulmate.

Looking at her now, she'd never been more beautiful. He thought she'd hit her peak beauty at nearly 30 last year. Now looking at her at 31, she was somehow more appealing. Even simply wearing her usual casual morning clothes of a t-shirt and leisure pants. It was a style he knew all too well. It was how she relaxed and lounged.

10 years wasn't enough time to get over her. Just looking at her like this, he realized he was still in love with her. But what could he do?

Nothing.

Nothing but try to stay away from her and do his best to find the woman out there that would finally top her. His therapist had warned him it would take time since he was clearly convinced there could be no other woman for him.

Had anyone here actually remembered that TODAY was her birthday? Maybe that was part of her sadness?

"Hey, remember how we were all here back in our beach trip?" Yurim's eyes lit up. "And now we're all back here. Together! On the same beach!"

"Want to go play in the water for old times sake?" Seungwan asked.

"Oh, let's totally get Jiwoong," Yurim grabbed his arm and started dragging him toward the water. Seungwan latched onto him as well and their shrieks and giggles followed them down to the water. Eventually the noises were muffled by the ocean breeze.

Heedo and Yijin sat in awkward silence about 6 feet apart. Heedo slid her feet into the sand.

Yijin decided he was going to break the weirdness. He had to.

He cleared his throat. "Did they at least get you a cake?"

Heedo's head turned toward him sharply. "A cake?"

"A birthday cake."

He heard her take a startled intake of breath. "No, they- -you remembered it's my birthday?"

"Well, it appears someone had to," he murmured. "I just thought it might be part of the party."

Heedo laughed raggedly. "No, it's Seungwan's weekend. It's totally fine though. We're at the age where no one really cares about birthdays anyway."

"You're right about that. Growing old is a quiet affair by the time you reach our age."

"It was...good of you to come get your brother." Heedo managed to get out. "He was clearly mad about what Jiwoong did. I'm glad you were there to save him."

Yijin shrugged. "It's just what you do for younger brothers. We've always had this dynamic. I'm quite a few years older so I feel the responsibility is mine."

"When are you ever allowed a break from the responsibility?" Heedo asked. "It seems as if the world is always on your shoulders."

"It seems that's just my lot in life. Some of us just get dealt cards we'd rather not have but we have to play anyway."

Heedo laughed wryly. "Yes, and it's why we need vacations."

"Are you ok?" he asked. "Yurim seems worried you're more stressed out than normal."

Heedo sighed. "Yeah, I mean. We just moved into a new house a few weeks ago. It was...super stressful and chaotic and...I'm glad for a rest. Although this wasn't exactly how I planned the weekend. Partying like we're in college. I expected it to be more quiet."

"I'm heading back in a little bit with Yihyun. You can come back with us....if you want."

Heedo looked a little surprised. Damn it, he'd gone too far. Too far. They weren't close enough for that.

"Oh...no. I couldn't intrude upon you like that really," she waved her arms across her chest. "It's all fine. I can get as much quiet time as I want just heading down here to the beach."

The other 3 members of the group were heading back their way. Soaking wet and laughing. Yihyun was also making his way toward them from the house.

"You guys totally missed out. You should have seen how we dunked Jiwoong," Yurim laughed. "It was hilariously insane."

"I'm glad you all had your fun." Yijin stood up. "Yihyun and I are headed to Uncle's house for a bit for a visit. Then we'll be on our way."

"Wait!" Yurim cried. "We're all actually here on our beach. The 5 of us. I want to recreate the ACTUAL beach photo! Like we did at our wedding last year!" She tossed her phone to Yihyun.

"Line up!" demanded Seungwan.

She pushed Heedo right into the side of him and he could distinctly feel the crackles of electricity all down his side. Her hair tickled him again and glowed a beautiful color in the sun. He promised himself he would remember this moment. One he would burn into his mind. Like last year.

He had to remember all these fleeting, small moments he had with her.

It was all he had now.

"I will send these to you all now," Yurim scrolled through to find the best ones of the shots.

"I'll see you all in 2 weeks then, yeah?" Yijin said as he grabbed Yihyun and they turned to leave.

"All of us but Heedo," Seungwan said. "She had...prior plans."

Yijin nodded. He understood. There were no prior plans. But they'd have to be at the same place again. This time with all his family. It would be uncomfortable. And now he truly didn't know if/when he would see her again.

How could he live like this? Was he just expected to keep...living? Without her at all? Year after year? Trying to date other women and never finding what he wanted?

It would appear those were the cards he'd been dealt.

"Oh sure. Yeah. Ok, well, bye Heedo. See you...sometime."

She just looked at him and nodded with affirmation. Her eyes looked glazed.

With steps as heavy as concrete, he grabbed Yihyun and walked away.

Later that night, a delivery arrived at the girls party house. Seungwan gleefully threw open the box to discover the unexpected.

It was a birthday cake with "Happy birthday Heedo" scrolled across the top in blue icing.

"Wha-"

"Oh Heedo! I totally forgot it was your birthday!" Yurim threw her hand over her mouth. "We were so focused on Seungwan that...I'm sorry."

"Me too Heedo," Seungwan confessed. "Where did this cake come from then? We both forgot."

"It's fine," Heedo whispered. "It doesn't matter at all. Really."

She felt happy tears leak down the sides of her eyes. She couldn't stop a smile. Her birthday had turned into something forgotten into something remembered. Yijin had remembered her and that was all that mattered to her right now.

Chapter Text

April 2016

"Mommy, mommy! Please don't make me go back to school," Kim Minchae pouted and stuck out her lower lip to try to get extra sympathy from her mother.

Heedo rubbed her forehead with frustration. "Fine baby. It's only a few hours of missed school anyway. Shall we head home?"

"No! Let's go to the park!" Minchae announced gleefully.

"The park sounds lovely," Heedo said. "Much better than this dentist office huh?"

Minchae had completed a dental appointment that lovely spring afternoon. It had felt like pulling teeth just to get her there. Heedo understood of course. No one liked going to the dentist.

They located a park close to the dental office and headed that way. Minchae skipped and danced at the freeing feeling of not having to be in a classroom on a sunny afternoon. She was 9 and full of energy. She had not a care or a worry in the world. Despite the fact the world was falling down around them, she continued to play.

Heedo and Mr. Kim tried to keep the reality of their situation from Minchae.

Mr. Kim's business was failing. After years of flying high and raking in the money, some bad investments had been made and most of the business had to be sold off. It was a nightmare.

Just recently, they had to downsize their large home and move back into an apartment. Mr. Kim just couldn't keep up with their lavish home anymore due to the business problems.

Heedo honestly didn't mind the apartment. It was still very nice and large and open. They were now centrally located in a nice area that made it easily to get places without driving.

They were at rock bottom, but Mr. Kim already had new business and investing plans in place to soar high again.

Heedo sure hoped so. He had been right before. He could do it again. She did her best to support him in his endeavors.

She had also begun to think about getting some kind of job or career. Minchae had been in school full time for 3 years now. Somehow, Heedo had ended up using all her spare time volunteering with the school.

It was time to set out on a new dream of her own. What though, she was not sure yet. She had been very restless lately. She felt very alone. Her husband was gone so often in his business dealings. And she felt like she had no friends. Sure, she had women she worked alongside as they raised money and volunteered for the school.

Sadly, as she had predicted, her old friendships had begun to wither. After Seungwan got married, Heedo was basically on the outside of her old friend group. Seungwan was now a Baek family member. And since she and Jiwoong were attached at the hip and Yurim was her best female friend, Jiwoong and Yurim were basically part of the Baek family now as well.

Heedo wasn't sure at what point the calls and texts and invites had stopped, but it had just....happened. She sometimes had regrets and thoughts. What if she had never broken up with Yijin? She'd be a part of that big happy family group now too. Forever bonded with those people happily forever.

But she had broken up with him. And she had moved on. Moving on meant giving up old friendships. That was the reality of it.

Heedo sighed with relief as she sank down onto a park bench and Minchae ran off to play on the toy structure. She felt run- down and worn-out after all the financial troubles. She looked up at the clear blue sky and watched as the blossoming pink cherry trees waved happily in the slight breeze.

Heedo frowned. She had bad connotations with blossoming pink cherry trees. She was thankful they were only around for a few weeks every year and then turned into regular looking trees. The most traumatizing event of her life (other than the death of her father) had taken place under gorgeous pink cherry blossoms and she generally felt grumpy despite their appealing nature for most people.

She sat there practicing how to begin the conversation with Mr. Kim. Minchae needed to start phase 1 orthodontics. Her bite was off and her teeth needed to be straightened. She knew it would delve off into a fight. Money was tight right now. Better days were around the corner, so Minchae's teeth may need to wait.

The park was scattered with a few Moms and their children playing. It was the middle of the day so it wasn't too crowded. As Minchae played she would sometimes wave at Heedo to make sure she was watching and paying attention. Heedo put on her smile and waved back.

Heedo pulled her bag closer to herself and gave a slight bow to another woman who had parked herself on the bench. Her kid ran off to play as well.

"I can't wait until she's in school next year," the other woman grumbled. "I get sick of coming to the park. Well, at least the weather is nice and....sometimes, if I'm really lucky, HE will show up."

"Who?" Heedo asked.

The other woman squinted and craned her neck looking for someone out on the playground.

"Ugh...this devastatingly handsome Dad that sometimes brings his kids. Seriously, do you never come to this park? He's the talk of all the women when he shows up. Not only is he drop dead gorgeous, but he takes care of his children all by himself. Can you BELIEVE that? Ugh...we all want a husband like that. He actually cares about his children. My husband does well to provide for us, but doesn't care to give a rat's ass about interacting with his kids." She flung her hand in disgust.

Heedo understood that all too well. Mr. Kim had been a pretty involved father when Minchae was a baby and early toddler. But since his business had really taken off, he was hardly ever around. His bond with Minchae definitely wasn't as strong as it could have been.

"Oh my god!" the other women smacked Heedo's arm. "He's here."

Heedo heard a small murmur go up from the women on the bench to her left as well.

Across the play area, a tall man wearing a navy dress shirt and tie had appeared. He was pushing a double stroller. He carefully unbuckled a boy about 2 or 3 from the stroller and applied some sunblock to his face and arms. He then pulled a podaegi from underneath the stroller. He wrapped up a baby in the podaegi and took the toddler's hand and led him out onto the playground.

Heedo's brow furled as something seemed so...familiar.

Suddenly, her mouth fell open with a loud gasp and her heart dropped into her stomach with a thud.

It was Baek Yijin.

That was obvious now as she watched his gait and then jog as he played with the little boy.

"Right? See what I mean? Hot right?" the other woman elbowed her again.

Heedo sat there stunned.

He had children now?

Presumably he was married?

Somehow she felt paralyzed. Betrayed. Hurt.

He'd moved on.

He'd finally moved on.

Maybe with the woman he was going to take to Seungwan's wedding? That had been 4 years ago. That had been the last time she'd seen him. The age of the children indicated the timing could be about right. Had she not seen it in the news? Had it even been in the news? Did he try to keep his wife and family out of the spotlight? He absolutely would have, she thought.

She'd done it a long time ago, she reasoned with herself.

Moved on.

He was allowed to as well.

Remember Heedo?

Her heart thundered in her chest as she watched him play enthusiastically with his son.

Soon, other kids were joining in as well. Baek Yijin had a herd of little children around him wanting to play.

None of the Moms got out there to play so this was a fun novel experience for the children. Soon, even Minchae was out there giggling away as Yijin ran some kind of game for them.

For a moment, Heedo forgot her troubles as she watched Yijin in his happy element. He was bringing joy to children in this hard world. He seemed to even be happier than she was at the moment. She remembered that she needed to always support him so she silently supported him now despite the small sting she couldn't bat away. She was unsure if she should approach him or talk to him. It wouldn't matter anyway. Just fluster her and make her day even worse.

So she decided she felt happy for him. Proud of him. He'd brought together his family and then managed to make a family of his own. It was truly what she had wanted for him.

Yijin had rambled down the block pushing the stroller. His nephew and niece happily babbled and chatted and were overjoyed when they saw the park come into view. Well, his nephew anyway. His niece was 6 months old so couldn't fully comprehend what was happening.

"Samchon! Toys!" his nephew was about to make a break for it.

Yijin chuckled. "Not yet. Stay in your seat for now. We are almost there."

He was happy he was able to help out Yihyun and Seungwan like this. Raising 2 young children was not the easiest thing. It took their whole village. Between himself, Seungwan's Mom, his parents, and a babysitter, they managed to take good care of the children when Yihyun and Seungwan were at work. Seungwan had only recently returned to work from maternity leave. She loved her job too much to stay away forever and with an amazing care team like they had, it worked out very well.

Yijin worked late afternoons and evenings of course. So he took the kids a once or twice a week. He generally brought them to the park no matter the weather to get them outside and for him to get some exercise. He usually ended up getting chased by hoards of small children.

A high school babysitter picked them up from the park right after school and took them home and he headed off to work.

He frowned as he approached the park. The cherry trees were blossoming. They hadn't been last week. He hated cherry trees as they always managed to bring him back to one of the most traumatizing times of his life.

The time he had officially told Heedo goodbye forever.

He shuddered and tried not to look at the trees and instead focused on playing with the children. His niece bounced in the podaegi on his back as he ran around. She laughed happily and patted his head and sometimes pulled on his hair.

There was one little girl today that reminded him of a little Heedo. It was in the way she skipped and moved. He smiled and thought how ridiculous it was that little thoughts of Heedo still popped into his head multiple times a day. Even now. She had made that much of an impact on his life.

Such an impact that he'd still been unable to find a woman to settle down with. She'd set the bar too high. He was nearly 39 years old and still single. He was thankful that he got to release his fatherly instincts with his niece and nephew. That was worth a lot. He was sure his chances of having a family and children of his own was dwindling away to nothing. There were plenty of available women who would marry him. He knew that. He was just too darn picky to make it worth it.

His niece started fussing and he knew it was time for a break and her bottle.

"Sorry kids, break time," he apologized as he moved back to the bench and reached for the diaper bag for the bottle of water and powder. The kids around him groaned and then reluctantly went back to playing on their own. His nephew ran around and he did his best to keep a strict eye on him while his niece sucked down her formula.

"Ahhh..." he grumbled as his nephew got too far for his comfort. He'd made a break for the other side of the play area. Cradling his niece in one arm and balancing the bottle with the other, he swiftly strode across to intercept his nephew who was apparently trying to chat with one of the moms.

And his heart stopped.

A woman popped into view. Sitting under those damn blossoming pink cherry trees. Her hair was down long and she looked like...

It WAS Na Heedo.

He couldn't speak.

She seemed taken a back as well.

"Your son looks just like you Yijin. It's uncanny. Just like in your baby photos." her voice sounded just like herself but maybe a little smoother. Less girl like and more woman like. And somehow, someway, she was in fact NOW at peak beauty.

He stammered a bit, "Yeah, I get that a lot. Genetics are funny. Yihyun and Seungwan don't always find it humorous though, I can tell you that right now. They've had had to explain it more than once to many people."

Heedo cocked her head. "What do you mean?"

"He's my nephew. And....this little chubby cutiepie is my niece. But yeah, I guess sharing 25% of my DNA with him was enough for some reason. For him to be my mini-me."

Heedo seemed to wilt back onto the bench and sat back nodding carefully.

"That makes a lot of sense. I thought I would have heard SOMEWHERE if you'd married and had kids."

"No, I've done neither. Would you mind if I...sat? It's hard to hold the bottle and...."

"Oh, no, not at all..." Heedo scooted far to the edge of the bench.

"Don't mind me. I was just going out to watch my child. I'll keep an eye on your little guy while the baby finishes her bottle," said the other lady sitting on the bench.

"Thank you, I appreciate that," Yijin said as he also did his best to watch his young nephew.

The woman beamed. She grabbed her things and skedaddled.

Yijin took her spot and adjusted his arm and the baby.

"I've never seen you here before Na Heedo. Do you....come often? And we just happened to run into you today?"

"Ah...no. My daughter had an appointment in this neighborhood. She didn't want to return to school so...we came to the park instead."

"I see. I do live nearby actually. I take care of these two a few times a week while their parents are at work.

"I see." Heedo rocked back and forth on the bench. "I think we will be in this neighborhood a bit more though. We live a few neighborhoods away now. We just got finished moving."

Yijin thought carefully and then frowned. "It seems like the last time I saw you, you were moving. Did you move again? That was at Seungwan and Yihyun's wedding time...so about 4 years ago now?"

"Yes, we just moved again. Into an apartment. There's been a lot of...oh never mind. It's not something you need to concern yourself with. Business stuff I guess." She frowned too.

Yijin looked at her face closely. She was still as gorgeous as ever but a few worry lines now crossed her forehead. Something wasn't right. He knew her husband was a business man. He himself had grown up with a business man father and he knew how things could go boom or bust. If he was a betting man, he bet they had to downsize houses due to some financial problems.

So he didn't ask further questions. She'd clearly been stressed about this. He could see it in her face. So he decided to switch the small talk so something he knew all mothers loved to talk about.

"Let me guess. The girl with the blue shirt and pink pants is yours right?"

Heedo beamed. "Yes. That's her. How did you know?"

"She runs just like you. Skips around like you. It's like she's light on her feet like a fencer. Or something." He grinned.

"She's into ballet actually. So you're right. I guess our skipping and light on our feet genetics are good for that." Heedo laughed.

Yijin laughed too. This was the first conversation they'd had in years that wasn't awkward and uncomfortable. It was actually pleasant. Catching up on the lost time as friends rather than weird....whatever they had been before.

Maybe time really did heal all wounds.

His niece had finished her bottle and he'd sat her up to burp her and wipe her mouth.

"Oh, she's darling! Look at her! Look at her sparkly eyes and cheeky little smile. She looks just like Seungwan! Goodness!" Heedo had perked up even more.

The baby smiled a big gummy smile at Heedo and laughed.

"Yes, she's Seungwan's mini me and I have a mini me. Poor Yihyun."

"They could just have another one for him," Heedo teased. "And you could have another one to take care of."

Yijin raised his eyebrows and whistled. "Heedo, I'm not going to lie. Taking care of two kids under the age of three is a hard game. I couldn't handle three of them!"

"You're obviously doing a fantastic job," she said softly. "They are clearly happy and well taken care of. I myself have never had to take care of two so I give you serious kudos!"

"Thank you! I'm grateful for the opportunity honestly. I've....never had the chance to be a Dad and I think this is the only one I'll ever have so...I make the best of it." He couldn't look at her when he said that. He knew the reason he wasn't a father. It was because she was the only mother he would ever want for his children.

"Can I...hold her?" Heedo asked trying not to appear to eager.

"Oh of course." He held his niece up while Heedo reached for the baby. His fingers brushed hers and he shivered. He'd feel that spot for a few weeks at least. Likely a lot more, who was he kidding?

Heedo cooed over the baby and she looked so maternal and....just wonderful.

"Sometimes I get baby fever and want another one so badly. They are so freaking cute and I missed out on a lot of Minchae's babyhood with my career. I also wonder if Minchae being an only child will be healthy for her. I grew up so lonely, but..."

"Why don't you have another one then?" He felt himself grimace as he said that. He couldn't think about what that would entail.

"My husband thinks two kids would be too much. He...travels a lot for work and all and...leaving me alone all the time with 2 might be too hard for me, you know? I think he's right."

Yijin nodded. He was putting a few pieces together. He was afraid Heedo was left alone a lot again. Like she had been as a child.

He frowned. This was not what he had wanted. He'd let her go so her life could become joyful and so she could find someone and make a family where she would no longer be alone. Not to mention, it seemed they were having financial troubles as well. He knew all too well how difficult that could be. Luckily, he was long past all that but had a long memory of those times.

"Do you...still talk much with Yurim?" He was being nosy and pretty much knew the answer to this question but wanted to hear her thoughts.

She sighed. "No, not much. Actually not for a while now. It's...I mean, with her baby...you know. You're kind of all part of a big happy family and I'm...not."

He nodded silently in understanding. "That's kind of my fault Heedo. I'm sorry. You lost your friends because of me. And Yurim just had another baby a few months ago, by the way. Just to keep you updated... a little girl. The plan is for these two little girls to be best friends."

"It's not your fault at ALL," she stressed. "If anything, it's Seungwan's fault. Although how could I ever fault her for anything when she has something this cute?" she cooed in a baby voice and bopped the baby's nose. The baby did one of those delicious little baby laughs.

"I still feel badly Heedo. I just hope...you're happy with a new friend group. You are... right?"

Heedo shrugged and put on her best pretend face while lying. "Sure. Life is fine. Look at me! At the park on a sunny day with my daughter while she skips school. Things could be a lot worse."

He nodded but could tell she wasn't being fully truthful with him. She was acting way too...he couldn't fine the right word to describe it. Nonchalant?

"And you? UBS treating you well enough? I know the pressure they can put on the anchors." Heedo had actually taken her eyes off the baby to look at him.

"I know you do. Better than anyone I imagine. Yes, it's been going well. I've been head anchor for 7 years now so the job is pretty routine now. And I've always wanted to say thanks Na Heedo. I wouldn't have the head anchor job and the success I do without your help. Truly."

Heedo waved him aside but he spoke up.

"No, Heedo. I wouldn't be here without you. Without your support. Honestly, without your mother of course since she recommended me. She'd never have given me a second glance for the anchor position if she hadn't known me through you."

He sighed deeply. Finally he'd been given the opportunity to tell her that. He'd wanted to for years and of course had never been given the opportunity until now. It had built up inside for a long, long time.

"She and I both knew you'd be great. And look at you now. I'm sure my mother has no regrets about choosing you as her replacement. There was no one else who could have done as well as you," Heedo said with an encouraging tone.

And it meant everything to him.

"Mr. Baek Yijin, sir, I'm here."

Yijin startled and looked up with surprise.

It was the babysitter. She'd come to relieve him so he could go to work.

"It's that time already?" He couldn't believe how fast the time had flown. "Uh...I better head off then. The news stops for no one."

He hugged his nephew. "See you in a few days buddy."

He jokingly scolded Heedo. "Make sure you return the baby to the sitter when you're done holding her. No babynapping. Otherwise, you'll have the wrath of Seungwan on you."

"I sure wouldn't want that! She's a force that one!"

"This is a friend of mine and Yihyun and Seungwan. She can hold the baby as long as she wants," Yijin instructed the sitter. "The baby just finished her bottle. She'll get fussy and tired in about 30 minutes so take her home then for her afternoon nap. She'll need to be fed again when she wakes up."

"No problem sir."

"It was nice to see you Heedo. Um...I hope things continue to go well with the business problems and all. So...um...bye."

Heedo nodded slowly. "Have a good work day Yijin. Bye." She turned away from him quickly.

God, it was so hard. Every time. Pulling himself away from her.

Again, under these damn cherry blossoms.

Not knowing if this was the last time he'd see her in this life.

Counting every meeting as a blessing and tucking it away in his memories to relive any day he could.

Chapter Text

January 2018

It had begun to snow. Light snowflakes were gently falling out of the sky and one hit Na Heedo directly on the nose.

It was just after 5:00 PM. The sun had barely set. Heedo was leaving the bank. It was getting dark even in downtown Seoul as no light came through the snow clouds. A few leftover Christmas lights tried their best to give a pretty glow.

Na Heedo was irritated. No, she was angry. The Kim family was moving again She was so damn sick of moving, but here it happened again.

Mr. Kim had started new business dealings and things were doing very well now. The money was beginning to roll back in. Mr. Kim wanted them out of the apartment and back into a house.

Heedo had just been at the bank to see how much of a mortgage they qualified for so she could find out what kind of house to look for. She promised herself this time would be their final home. They'd lived in 2 homes since 2012. They were about to get their 3rd house in 6 years.

Heedo swore this time, she wouldn't let Mr. Kim let them get a big huge mansion. They would get a reasonable sized home so if somehow they fell on hard times due to business failures, they would be able to keep their home and not downsize.

She was so freaking sick of this business. And of course, she'd dealt with all this herself. She hadn't even SEEN her husband since before Christmas. He had brought up the idea of moving to the US and she had freaked out. Then, they'd had another fight. She had no interest in living anywhere but Korea. Not permanently anyway. She'd traveled the world in her younger days and no where felt or could be home but Korea.

Since so much of his business happened over in the US, Mr. Kim thought it just made sense for them to move there rather than him being gone all the time. He told her that she would probably be much happier if they moved to the US because then they could be together most of the time and he'd just go back to Korea sometimes.

He'd made it sound like it was her OWN fault she was unhappy even though moving to the US had never been in the plans.

Heedo was glad it was snowing because she could stomp through the snow with convincing noise. She wanted to be immature and childlike tonight. She stopped on the street to buy some hoppang. It was definitely a night for street food. And more than one Soju. She didn't drink to excess these days, but if that happened tonight, she permitted herself.

Tomorrow, she would start house hunting with the realtor. They were getting something SHE wanted this time since Mr. Kim apparently didn't care or was bothered. He was never at home anyway so what did he care?

Heedo kicked a garbage bin in anger as she nibbled on a hoppang and looked for the telltale red tents where she could find some dinner and alcohol. When she found one at last, she stepped inside to fill her stomach and drown out her sadness with alcohol.

Yijin walked briskly in search of his favorite street food. He had an hour lunch break from UBS. He'd finished putting the stories together for the nightly news. When he got back, they would work on breaking news and hair and wardrobe before he went on air tonight.

He finally found the red tent he was looking for and ducked (literally) inside to get what he wanted.

What he found upon entering was completely unexpected. The first thing his eyes saw was Na Heedo. Drinking a Soju with bright red cheeks.

Oh no.

Her blurry eyes met his and took a minute to register that he was standing there at the flap entrance. Then, her eyes widened with surprise.

"Baek Yijin! Why are you here? You're not going to scold me, are you? Did my Mom put you up to this?"

She put on a frighteningly fake grin. Or was it real? Whatever the case, she'd had too many sojus.

Yijin strode over to her table in 3 long strides. His eyes counted 2 bottles and she was working on a 3rd. This might be an ok amount for some people, but she was past her limit.

"No more of these over here! She's hit her limit!" he yelled toward the cook who nodded in agreement.

"You're taking away the fun, Yijini," she giggled. "I can handle a few more."

"No, you can't. Na Heedo, why are you here drinking before 6:00? Alone?" His concern came straight from the heart. He couldn't help himself.

She pointed her bottle right at him. "What am I doing? I'm eating dinner and trying to forget about my worries. Do you know I have to move. Again?"

"Again? Whenever I last saw you, you were moving. It can't have been more than a few years."

"Exactly..." Heedo slouched back in her chair. "I am so goddamn sick of moving."

"So why are you moving?"

"The money is rolling in again you see. We can afford a bigger place. I got a loan approval today. Gonna start looking for a new house tomorrow."

"Ah. Do you have something specific in mind?"

"I don't know Yijin, I just don't know. What am I even doing with my life? What am I doing now? What's my purpose?"

Yijin was silent. Was he actually supposed to answer all these questions?

"I don't do anything Yijin. Do I miss fencing? I don't even know anymore. What should I do doing? Am I depressed?"

Yijin sighed and pulled out the chair across from her. He would listen to the rants of this drunk woman. He had enough minutes left for Na Heedo always. And something was wrong here. Very wrong. He'd do anything he could to help her. Support her always.

"I don't think I'm happy Yijin. I think something is wrong with me."

"Heedo, maybe you miss fencing more than you realize. It gave you a real purpose. A reason to be living. Maybe that's what you need. A new purpose."

Her eyes widened as she leaned forward towards him. "Am I having a midlife crisis?"

He wanted to grin at how adorable she looked with her wide eyes, pink cheeks, and questioning expression. Her hurt had disappeared for a moment and he saw through to her true inner thoughts.

He leaned forward towards her on his elbows. "It's possible, yes."

"So what do I do?"

"What do you enjoy doing? Other than fencing? And honestly, you could even do that if you wanted. I know Yurim is always needing instructors for her school."

"I like watching my daughter grow up. Talking to her. Helping her. But she's needing less and less of my help Yijin. She's nearly 12 now. She wants to spend more time with her friends. I'm feeling really alone."

"What about your husband? If his business is doing better, is he home more?" Yijin had a bad feeling about asking this question. He got his answer.

Heedo snorted. Some Soju came out of her nose and then she started coughing hard and choking.

Yijin handed her a napkin. "Keep coughing Heedo. Let your lungs recover."

Heedo finally managed to calm down. "No, he's not home more. In fact, I think....he's gone even more. I don't even know when he was last home. Nearly a month maybe? Like what's the point anymore. Am I even married?"

Yijin sat frozen at those words.

This felt like deja vu. Hadn't their relationship ended when she'd said very similar things?

Heedo started pointing at him aggressively and began to slur her words.

"You know what? I think you did the exact same thing to me. Just left me all alone. So why am I talking to you about this? Why are you the one that showed up tonight anyway?" She snorted again. "Life is repeating. But what am I supposed to do? I can't just dump a husband like a boyfriend. It's a lot harder and more complicated."

Yijin's stomach sank.

This was bad, he could tell.

"Yeah, it's kind of the same situation, isn't it," he said quietly. He felt gutted for her.

"Is it me? Am I just so easy to leave alone? Do I deserve to just....be alone? Am I worthless?" Heedo started to cry.

"No, oh God Heedo no. You definitely don't deserve to be alone. You deserve all the happiness in the world."

Suddenly he was angry. He hadn't let her go for her life to end up like this. For her to end up unhappy and alone again. His whole plan was to SAVE her from this by breaking up with her. Where had it all gone wrong? He was now turning angry at Mr. Kim. He had married Heedo. Actually MARRIED her!!! Did he know he would end up disappointing her like this? Leaving her all the time?

"Well, somehow, I am! Worthless!!" She threw her arms out in frustration. "I have no friends, an absent husband, no job, no purpose and a tween daughter who is wanting less and less to do with me. My best friend these days is literally my Mom. My MOM. How pathetic is that? I'm at rock bottom. There I said it." She buried her head in her arms and sobbed on the table.

Other patrons turned to look for the source of the noise. Yijin bowed to them quietly to acknowledge Heedo's breakdown.

He'd never seen her so low. Even when they were in midst of breaking up, she was on her way up in the fencing world. This was beyond comprehension. But what could he do? It wasn't his place anymore to help her or worry about her. But he had to do something. Anything. Even if it was small.

"Heedo, look at me. Heedo, do you want me to try to help?"

Those beautiful deep eyes swimming with tears looked up at him.

"Yes. You can be good at making me feel better Yijin. When you want to."

"My advice is to find a hobby or a purpose. What's your favorite thing to do?"

She sniffed away tears. "I like woodworking a lot. You know, chairs and stuff."

"Ok, that's good. That's great. Like your Dad used to make right? Why not start a woodworking shop? You're looking for a new house. Buy a place that would have some kind of room or garage for that. Find some kind of purpose with that. It...can be your new fencing."

"I could make chairs for other people too! Make them as happy as my Dad made me!"

"Exactly. And Heedo, remember back when I was going through a rough spell in New York? And you told me to get therapy? I'm going to give you that exact advice now. I think you need therapy. It will help. Maybe therapy with your husband too."

He wanted to tell her exactly what he thought of Mr. Kim leaving her alone for months at at time, but he kept his mouth shut again. It wasn't his place despite how hard it was to keep quiet. But if Mr. Kim kept on like this...well....Yijin knew what would happen. He'd been there once himself.

"I've thought about that. Couples therapy."

"Good. Can you count on your Mom at all to help you? "

"Moreso now than in the past, yeah."

" I know your Mom isn't always good with feelings and stuff, but she can at least get you started I think."

"She's mellowed a lot since retirement Yijin."

"It seems that way to me too. Especially when she comes in to visit at work."

Work!

He had completely forgotten where he was in time and space. He checked his watch quickly. His lunch had ended 10 minutes ago and he really needed to get back.

"Ok, good. Now, I think you've had enough and need to get home ok? Think about what I said and remember those 2 important things. Wood working shop. Therapy. Ok? Now, I'm going to help you get up and call a taxi." He moved around the table to help haul her to her feet. He threw a bunch of money down on the table he knew would cover it all.

She was still small as she latched onto his arm. Even with her big wool coat and puffy gloves, she was every bit as small as he remembered.

"Ok, Heedo. Tell me the two important things again."

"Uh....therapy and wood shop," she slipped a bit on the ice due to her drunkenness and he propped her up to keep her from falling.

"Yes, that's it. Your keys to being happy again. Don't forget them Heedo. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. I hope my advice helps you be happy again."

He guided her out to the snowy street and hailed a cab.

"What's your address Heedo? We need to tell the driver where to take you."

Heedo rattled off an address plenty far from here and Yijin frowned. "I thought you said you lived in an apartment now? You're not giving an apartment number."

"Oh yeah," Heedo mumbled confused. "That's right. Um...I think..." her lips moved silently up and down as she tried to think of the number.

Yijin had pulled out his phone and called up her mother.

"Sunbae, it's Yijin. I found your daughter drunk at a street restaurant. I need to send her home. What's her address?"

"Drunk? Before dinner? Seriously Heedo," Jaekyung's voice sounded irritated. "Just send her to me. Her daughter Minchae is here at my house anyway."

"And Sunbae, I know I don't know Heedo well anymore. But I know her well enough to know that something is seriously wrong. You need to get her some kind of help. Even I can see that." He hung up and instructed the driver where to go.

"Yijin, I don't know this guy."

"He's the taxi driver Heedo."

"Can I have a ride in your convertible instead?"

"He'll get you where you need to go. Your Mom is waiting for you."

Heedo stuck out her tongue. "Ugh. Mom. She's just going to scold me."

"She'll take care of you now. Sleep well Heedo."

"Yijin why are you leaving me?"

Oh his heart.

"I wish I didn't have to," he admitted. "But that's just how it is now. It's not my place."

"I don't like it. How it is now."

He sighed. "Me neither. Goodbye Heedo."

He shut the door, pounded the side of the car, watched the cab pull out of sight, and reluctantly plodded back to UBS. Now, he'd have to spend his time worrying about her again even though it wasn't his business. All he could do was support her from afar. She was now at her lowest point. It reminded him very much of how at the time he'd been at HIS lowest, Heedo had been there to help him pick up the pieces and climb to the highest height.

He wished he could do the same for her now. Return all the good things she'd done for him. But he couldn't.

They were essentially strangers.

Heedo cracked her eye open and groaned. Why was it so bright? She smelled something warm and delicious. Where was she? Her eyes began adjusting to her space and her brain cleared up some.

She was in her old bedroom at her Mom's.

Why?

And then she remembered her dream. Hazy. Talking with Yijin. Being so happy to see him. Wondering why he was allowed to be so incredibly handsome in winter wear. And he told her to remember two pieces of advice. Woodworking and therapy. Why was he there in her dreams? Again?

But it had almost seemed so....real.

She meandered aimlessly into the living room. Her Mom and Minchae were both there watching TV.

"Good morning Mom. Or should I say good evening? You've been asleep for a few hours," Minchae comented.

"Your daughter had never seen you fully drunk before. You scared her Heedo," her Mom said.

"Sorry...I....this whole house buying thing has been rough. How did I get here?"

"In a cab. Apparently Baek Yijin found you drunk downtown and sent you home. Would you care for some soup?" her mother asked.

Heedo sighed with embarrassment. So it wasn't a dream. He had been there telling her to get therapy and start woodworking.

She had a hot bowl of soup to clear her head.

She sat looking down at her phone trying to figure out how to find a real estate listing site when she heard Yijin's voice in her head again. This time, he was telling her to take part in a new recycling program.

Wait, what?

Heedo pounded her head. She must be really drunk.

And then she looked at the TV and things made sense.

They were watching the UBS Evening news with Anchor Baek Yijin.

She never watched his news program. It just felt weird and wrong.

But tonight she watched.

Well, she listened.

Her head was still hurting so she closed her eyes and listened to his deep soothing voice reverberating deep in her body. He always made her feel so calm and relaxed and content.

She hadn't done this in a long time. She had used to use his voice as a crutch to get her through hard times. It had helped.

A lot.

Perhaps it was time to start doing it again. It was easily accessed every evening anywhere in the country.

She'd take his advice. His advice hadn't failed her before. She'd work her way to the top again using his support even if it was from afar. Tomorrow was a new day and she was determined to turn things around. She'd work her way up the staircase again. She'd start her woodworking shop as soon as she could and find a purpose. She'd call a therapist tomorrow morning.

She listened until Yijin bid his final evening farewell and then she promptly fell into a deep and content sleep.

Chapter Text

Na Heedo beamed with joy as she looked at the awards program pamphlet and laid it out on the table.

There it was.

Her first huge accomplishment in 10 years.

In large print under the title "Best New Small Business (non restaurant) of 2019:

Winner: 2521 Woodworking and Crafts.

She had started her woodworking company just 18 months ago.

During that time, she had poured her heart and soul into a new passion. It had paid off.

She had been nominated by the Seoul Business Bureau for this prestigious award.

And she had won.

The award brought huge accolades. It would make people come to her in droves.

Honestly, she hoped she could handle it. She giggled thinking about herself having to turn people away as she couldn't physically keep up with the work.

Nearly 2 years ago now, she'd picked out a new house. It was in an older part of town near her Mom's but the kind of place where they had a bit more room. In fact, this house had a huge daylight basement. The kind of place that would be perfect for a large woodworking shop. Mr. Kim had grumbled a bit about the house not being modern and updated but Heedo didn't care. She could work right there in her home and be around for Minchae and not have to worry about driving to pick her up places. It was ideal. Mr. Kim was never around enough to enjoy the house anyway so why should he have a say?

She spent her days in the well lit shop working with wood. Every finished piece brought her a sense of accomplishment and pride. SHE had made something meaningful for people. She had made people's lives better and more happy because of her work.

Between starting her woodworking and seeing a therapist, things started to improve.

There was only one thing that did not improve.

Her marriage.

She'd begged Mr. Kim for them to go to marriage counseling. She was doing individual counseling but she knew that to save their marriage, he needed to play a role as well.

She knew things were probably over when for their very first counseling appointment, he had to call in on the phone as he was so busy he couldn't make it.

And then he refused to make it to any counseling session as he felt it wasn't really his fault that things were bad. He'd offered to move Heedo to the United States so they could all be together.

At some point, Heedo had stopped caring if he came home at all. She didn't even miss him. They had moved completely separate directions in life. A year went by where she was so involved with her woodworking, she didn't think about him or miss him. She had a new mission that actually made her happy.

She'd been through this before and had come to the realization that things were very bad. Last time with the long distance relationship, she'd cried and missed Yijin like crazy. Been mad at him despite still wanting to just jump into his arms. And they'd still had to break up even though she loved him.

This time? She didn't cry or miss Mr. Kim at all. She figured that this probably meant she had completely stopped loving him. She was totally indifferent to his comings and goings. She wasn't even mad anymore.

So she completely wrote him off and went about her business of woodworking. At some point, she realized she needed to just flat out tell him they needed an official divorce. How could he not see that? It was ridiculous when he was never around and they had no relationship to speak of.

Then, last week had happened.

She'd received official notice that she had received the 2019 Best New Small Business Award.

She was moving up. Mr. Kim and their non existent marriage was only dragging her down.

She had filed the official divorce paperwork 3 days ago.

And she felt good about it. Confident it was absolutely the right move. It was time to just have all that behind her. No more living in a non existent marriage.

She didn't even know if Mr. Kim had found the time to even go through the paperwork. Or even cared. She was just done.

Her lawyer had warned her this could all drag out for months. Things could get messy. There would need to be some kind of custody plan put in place for Minchae.

But once everything had finalized, she had hope that her path forward would be much more happy and she had a lot to look forward too.

So she'd dressed up tonight. In her best, most professional business suit and heals. Her makeup was on point and her hair wavy and smooth. She'd show up her confidence to the best of her ability.

More guests and award winners filed into the upscale banquet hall. She knew no one of course. The seat next to hers at the table would remain empty as usual. She had no plus one. She'd do her best to make small talk and introduce herself to her tablemates.

It was a good networking activity. After the official awards were handed out, there would be a dinner and social.

Heedo saw that she would be 5th in line to receive her award. There were awards for all kinds of important things around Seoul. She sat back as the Chamber President stepped onstage to introduce their Emcee for the night.

She sat up stock straight and gasped as she saw the familiar form of Baek Yijin and heard his soothing voice begin an introduction.

He was hosting the program tonight!

What a crazy coincidence. Here was the man that had encouraged her to start her woodworking business. And he'd now be the one congratulating her on her first award.

It was serious deja vu again. He'd been the one to encourage her to never give up on her fencing and climb as high as she could despite her failures. And he was the first one to interview her on her first gold medal.

The world just kept turning didn't it? The same exact events were taking place.

She owed this all to him.

Again.

Why could this one man help shape her entire life and all of her successes? How did he do this? Was he even human or some kind of higher power? Somehow, if he was around, she really did reach higher places.

Every time.

Although they hadn't worked out in terms of a loving relationship, she never regretted loving him. He was still so, so special to her and held a place in her heart that no one else ever could. They had helped each other succeed in life and were somehow STILL doing it to this day.

As expected, his eyes quickly found hers in the crowd. He didn't register surprise at all. He was so professional like that. She was pretty sure she was now wearing a huge grin but she didn't care. She was so incredibly happy to see him.

It was then something else registered and she felt a wave of panic course through her. But did she need to panic?

Her business name was 2521 Woodworking and Crafts. Would he think that was weird?

She'd named it after the best year of her life when she was 21 and he was 25. Throughout her life, she'd carried the warmth and happiness of that year. Like she'd told Yurim, she'd left a little piece of her heart with him forever and would always love him. The fact that he encouraged her to start this business made it even more special. He deserved part of the credit too.

Again, it all came back to him.

She waved the thought aside. He'd long moved on. The numbers wouldn't register at all. If he even pondered the meaning at all, he likely assumed it was her home address.

And so she waited her turn to meet him on stage to accept her award.

Yijin hadn't planned on being the emcee of this Chamber Banquet. He rarely did these kinds of events anymore. But he was often asked. He was after all basically the most famous emcee in all of Korea. He had an aura that people enjoyed and a voice that all apparently loved to hear.

So when he was approached, his initial reaction was to say no. Until he quickly skimmed down the list of award winners.

Na Heedo. 2521 Woodworking and Crafts.

It was a gut punch.

And a good one.

This one of a kind woman had gone and done it again. She'd clearly taken to woodworking and as expected had crushed it. She'd created a successful small business that would bring her awards and accolades for years.

She was never one to back down from a goal. Ever.

Heedo had been a mess the last time he'd seen her. Drunk and depressed. He'd offered what advice he could although it wasn't his place anymore. They weren't even friends. But yet there was still a closeness there he couldn't explain. Like their bond had never really been totally broken. It was still there, but just stretched a little over the years.

So of course he had to say yes, he would host the banquet. How could he pass up a chance to get to see Heedo? And to actually award her for her dedication and hard work? That made it even better.

He'd interviewed her multiple times in the past for fencing. Now began a new chapter and he wanted to be a part of it yet again. It was a very tiny part, but it was something.

His eyes met hers in the crowd. They were shining and she had a huge smile on her face. At last, she appeared to be happy and healthy. Her skin glowed and she radiated confidence tonight. Wow. Things sure had changed in the last few years since he'd seen her. The mess was gone and the confident Heedo had returned.

He also knew right away that for whatever reason, she had named her business after them. Their best year. It puzzled him a bit. Was it because he was the one who had suggested she start woodworking and she wanted to give him some kind of acknowledgement? That made the most sense.

However, 2521 was also the moment they promised to be together forever. That New Years was the first time they spoke those words to one another. He'd never forget that. He wondered if somehow after all this time, they could find a way to be a part of one another's lives? As friends of course. She was obviously still thinking of him. Maybe enough time had passed. She was happily married after all.

He frowned. Actually not happily. That had been rather obvious after their last meetup. But perhaps she had done the counseling he had suggested and they had reconciled and worked things out. Maybe that was why she looked so radiant tonight.

But that direction also made no sense. Would a happy husband let his wife name her business after a prior relationship? Wouldn't that cause some problems? He had noticed the chair next to Heedo was empty.

Whatever her reason, he was thrilled that he had a little, tiny part in her successful new venture. Clearly, it spoke to the fact that he had mattered a lot to her. Maybe even still DID matter a lot even though they had no kind of relationship.

And so his heart thundered with happiness as he called her name to come up on stage and receive her award from the Mayor of Seoul.

His stomach filled with butterflies as she approached in her perfectly fitted business suit and heels. Her hair flowed in perfect, yet professional waves. She looked every bit the Heedo he had always loved yet somehow grown up and mature. Under that professional exterior, he knew was her goofy and good natured self.

With no thoughts left in his brain, he ventured off script.

To brag about her.

Of course.

It was second nature.

And to retell the story of her never ending perseverance. How she never gave up and overcame every obstacle she'd ever had and still came out on top. From fencing to woodworking. From a young girl to a mature woman. He spoke of how he'd interviewed her as teenager when she won her first gold at the Asian games to how he'd also done her last ever interview when she'd won her gold medal in the Olympics in San Francisco. And how much he took pleasure in getting to award her with yet another accomplishment in this lifetime. She'd retired from fencing, but was reaching new heights in new fields. Heedo was at the top of her game again and he couldn't wait to see how high she could fly yet again.

His little speech earned Heedo a standing ovation of course. She blushed furiously as she bowed over and over again to thank the crowd for their support.

That was so far the highlight of the night. He then had to finish out his duties by acknowledging the rest of the winners in all the categories. His eyes kept finding and locking on Heedo's though. He was dying to talk to her at the dinner party when the awards were over.

The award winners got to go first the buffet line and he found himself proudly watching Heedo heap her plate up with extra food. He snorted and laughed. Some things never changed.

And then with much surprise, he found her waving at him to come join her at her table.

"Got enough food there, Fencer Na?" he teased using her previous background of needing copious amounts of calories to fence.

She shrugged. "I haven't been eating well lately. Things are about to change."

"I'm glad to hear it. You look amazing Heedo, really. You were hurting quite badly the last time we met. You've completely turned things around. I'm proud of you."

"It's all thanks to you. You came up with the idea of woodworking. And then you got to reward me for it. How awesome is that? It's like fate!" she took a big bite of food.

"Uh huh. Fate." He squirmed.

She had no idea he'd chosen to be here. Because of her- and her alone. He would never, ever miss an opportunity to see her in this lifetime. No matter how much it hurt.

She smacked him hard on the arm. "You embarrassed me up there though. The way you talk, you make it sound like I'm the most important and most wonderful person in the entire world. How big do you want my ego to get exactly?"

Yijin was taken aback again. She was treating him with such informality. Such playfulness. Like they were friends again. What had changed?

"You deserve a big ego, Heedo. You've earned it."

She gave him a side eye. "Thanks, I guess."

Her phone buzzed and she swiped to text. Then, her face went white.

"Heedo, what's wrong? Is your daughter ok?"

Heedo let out a big sigh. "Of course. Of course it would be now. Does he know he's ruining the best night I've had in a LONG time?"

Yijin sat quietly. Marriage problems. It had to be. He took a long drink and tried to pretend he wasn't listening or interested in her marriage. It wasn't his business.

"I filed for divorce a few days ago."

Yijin choked on his water and started coughing.

"Yeah, I get it. My marriage had a choke hold on me too," Heedo said trying to lighten the mood.

Typical.

Yijin kept coughing as he windpipe spasmed.

"I am confident and happy with my decision. It was a long time coming and honestly should have happened years ago. I was hoping it would be over fast and I could move on and not worry about any of it."

"So what's the problem?" Yijin asked hoarsely.

He was in complete disbelief. He had seen the writing on the wall over the years in just their small interactions, but now that it had finally happened, it was shocking.

"He finally read the paperwork tonight. He said he's going to contest it. Instead of having this thing finalized in a few months, this might drag out for a year. Or more. My lawyer warned me this might happen. We have a lot of assets and business dealings."

"Heedo, I'm so sorry. I really don't know what to say."

Heedo shrugged. "You don't need to say anything. It's not your fault. I never should have married him to begin with. I rushed into it thinking I would be getting a solid, stable life. You of all people know what's what I desperately craved having grown up like I did. I should have waited. Realized it wasn't a good match. The only good thing I got from all this was my Minchae. But it's over now. In 6-18 months I can get on with my life and start brand new. I'll just have to deal with lawyers and fights for a while. Little do they know how good I am in bouts, right?" She tried to make another little joke.

Yijin sat. Still speechless and in disbelief.

"Come on, that was a good joke right? And it was even a FENCING joke too."

Yijin nodded. "Making comedy out of tragedy. I know. You are the queen of that."

Heedo tipped her glass to him. "And the Queen of Fencing. Let's not forget that one."

"No, we can't forget that one. And it appears soon to be Queen of Woodworking too....Heedo I'm sorry this is just so shocking for me."

"Hmm....I think it's only so shocking for you because you're not around me. Or my life. If you were, you wouldn't be shocked. It's been a long time coming. Mr. Kim and I have been living separate lives for a while now."

"How do you think Minchae will take it?"

"That's going to be the most difficult part," Heedo sighed. "She's already angry at her Dad a lot because he's never present. Doesn't show up at her ballet. He sends her gifts she's outgrown long ago. Doesn't return calls or texts promptly. So I'm honestly not sure how she will react with all this. It's going to be a stressful mess for awhile, isn't it?"

"It sounds like it. You'll get through it though. You always do. And you always come out better than before. I've seen it before and believe in you that you will find your way."

"Who knew? That somehow fencing would be like divorcing. Making my way from the bottom to the top again." Heedo frowned. "Although I guess this time, my opponent is my husband rather than Yurim."

"Give her a call sometime Heedo. I'm sure she'd love to hear from you and if you ever feel that you miss fencing, her school would welcome you with open arms."

"I will....think about that," Heedo said. "Fencing always did bring me joy."

Yjin scribbled down Yurim's number on a napkin. He hesitated. He wanted to give her his number as well, but decided against it. It might be in poor taste given all that was going on.

"Here's her number. I implore you to reach out to her sometime Heedo. I know it will make you happy."

Yijin's boss was waving him down. It appeared he had some more emcee duties.

"Heedo, it looks like I have some more work to do. Will you be ok alone here processing all this?"

She waved him off. "Of course I will. I'm just going to finish eating and then leave. Being alone is my specialty. Unfortunately. I'm good at it because I've had to practice it for so long."

He didn't know how to respond except with the truth. "That has always made me so sad Heedo. It still does. I want you to be happy. It's all I've ever wanted for you." It felt like he'd said this before. Multiple times.

"I know," she said softly with her eyes tearing up. They weren't sad tears though. More like...hopeful and cherishing tears. "And I really do appreciate everything you've ever done to ensure I'm happy. It's my own fault though. And I'm going to fix it."

He nodded and willed himself to leave rather than pull her into his arms and just hold her and let her cry out all the big feelings she was going through right now. "Ok. Bye Heedo. Good luck with everything. Fighting!"

"Bye Yijin. Thanks for everything. I've got this. You know I can do it!"

He knew.

And now, somehow, he wasn't as heartbroken saying goodbye to her as he had been in the past. She's named her business after THEM. His gut told him there was a new hope on the horizon. That he would be seeing her again. When or how, he couldn't say, but it seemed it was finally possible they would make their way back into one another lives once more.

Chapter Text

August 2021

Na Heedo put down her saber and unwrapped her gloves. She tore off her helmet and set it aside.

Ji Seungwan was waving heartedly at her and Na Heedo returned the gesture. Heedo then patted Seungwan's daughter on the back and helped the little one remove her helmet and gloves.

"Mommy, mommy! I just beat ANOTHER gold medal winner!" said the little 5 year old girl running into her mother's arms.

"You sure did!" Heedo winked at Seungwan. "She's beaten her Auntie Yurim and now me too!"

"Go have a snack with your friends, baby," Seungwan said. "I'll talk with the Queen of Fencing for a few minutes and then we can go home. Long time, no see Na Heedo. I don't remember the last time we talked. I see you are subbing for Yurim. How'd it go today?"

The little Baek girl scampered off to find her class.

"You know, it's gone pretty well so far," Heedo admitted. "I didn't actually teach her class. I just showed up to have a little fun with them. Yurim has hired amazing instructors for the little ones who have more patience than me. I'll start teaching the more advanced ones when they start to show up later. I'm glad Yurim reached out to me. It had been a long time and....this feels good."

"I can't believe Yurim and Jiwoong are taking a nearly MONTH long anniversary trip," Seungwan shook her head. "At least they've got a good team of babysitters. Although their kids are both old enough for school all day so it's not so bad on the elderly babysitters."

"They deserve it. 10 years a long time to be married. They had tried to go earlier but it was just too hard with all the Covid restrictions. Yurim is paying me well, so I think it will be a fun month being her substitute honestly. Change things up a bit for me and let's me get in some exercise."

"You think you can handle the advanced students?" Seungwan teased. "Yurim's still in fencing shape since she teaches all day every day."

"Oh, I'll be REALLY sore tomorrow," Heedo laughed. But I'm sure I'll bounce back quickly. I'll be in great shape just in time for Yurim to come back. I'll tell you though, I can feel my age."

Seugwan waved away that thought. "Heedo, 40 is just the start of our lives! We're mature enough to make good decisions and now live the way we want. Especially for you! I haven't talked to you in SO long. Is your divorce all finalized? Yurim mentioned it."

"Oh yeah. That mess was over with nearly 6 months ago. Everything has been sorted, the funds properly distributed and Minchae's custody plan is in place. She's with her father right now after...well. I got her back from her runaway scheme to my Mom's. That's a long story.... Divorce can be hard on kids. Anyway, it worked out perfectly for me to substitute for Yurim for the month."

"So....are you planning on...you know...getting back into the dating scene? You can now literally do anything you want with any man between the age of 20 and like 90. Like total freedom. You no longer have to keep yourself from men if you don't want to. You're free. You don't have to feel guilty for gazing too long at a handsome man. It's all fair game now."

Heedo scoffed. "At my age? Are you kidding? Seungwan, who would I even date? I have a hard enough time making FRIENDS let alone find some man who wanted to raise another man's child. Oh, and who would also love me for me and not my fame as the "Queen of Fencing."

"Hmmm...well...I mean. I'll be blunt Heedo. I CAN think of someone. My brother-in-law. You know the one."

Heedo blushed quickly.

Yes, she knew the one.

And yes, of COURSE that thought had crossed her mind. How could it not? She knew a part of her still loved him. Always had. And he was still devastatingly handsome and not even close to 90 or 20. He was a nice middle number. He wasn't married.

She hadn't seen him since he'd given her that award for her woodworking. That had been pre covid. But they hadn't worked out before so she didn't want to go down that road. Hadn't she learned that lesson? She tried never to make the same wrong decision twice. And now with a divorce behind her, she couldn't handle going back to another relationship where she would potentially be left alone all the time. That had been her experience before after all.

Her thoughts had been on him a lot lately actually. Just a few weeks ago now, the old comic book store owner had found a diary she thought was lost forever. She'd had a bittersweet afternoon reading through the diary and then her heart had stopped at the final page.

He'd written back to her.

Somehow.

Apologizing for their terrible ending and how he didn't mean any of it. She'd cried all afternoon. She hadn't meant any of it either. She spent the next few days moping and reminiscing. And wondering of course. About them. About what had been and what maybe could be?"

"Oh, he's still not married then, huh?" Heedo asked shyly already knowing the answer.

"No. He's never married. And frankly, Heedo, deep down we ALL know why that is even if it's never spoken aloud. He blames his work and just never finding the right woman. And that is all true. Especially the never finding the right woman part. He never found anyone that compared to YOU Heedo. It was impossible. He told me once that you were one of a kind. One in a million. How could he ever top that? He didn't want to settle. That's why he chose to be a bachelor I think. It's his life even though I wish he had someone."

Heedo felt a rush to her heart at those words, but tried to push them aside. "It's lucky he has you all. Since he's never chosen to marry."

"It's sad though, Heedo. I've come to know him very well over the years. He definitely is a family man in every way. You don't see this side like I do. You just see him reading the news on TV. He takes care of his parents. He treats his niece and nephew like his own children. I'm thankful for his babysitting services and he's thankful he has them to essentially substitute for the children he never had. You have no idea what an amazing uncle he is. He's basically a second Dad to my kids."

"I do know that. I've witnessed it."

Seungwan cocked her head with confusion.

"When your little girl there was just a chubby little 6 month old, I ran into him one day at the park when I was there with Minchae. We chatted a bit and I saw that side of him. It was lovely. It really was. He let me hold her. I had seriously bad baby fever so it felt amazing to snuggle a little baby. God, she looked just like you then and she still does now. I couldn't get over how much your son looked like Yijin"

"Tell me about it. Yihyun and I have had to answer some seriously uncomfortable questions over the years. And I swear Heedo. I never betrayed you or our friendship and slept with your ex-boyfriend. I only ever slept with his brother. But genetics are weird sometimes. Deep down, I am happy Yijin has a mini me since he never had a child of his own. My son looks like his son and it really does make me happy for him."

"I'm glad too," Heedo replied. "I can stop worrying about Yijin being happy. I've done that a lot over the year since I broke up with him. It seems he is. Happy I mean."

"Yeah...but..." Seungwan said cheekily. "You could make him even MORE happy if you'd date him and have his babies. He'd have it all then."

"Seungwan!" Heedo blushed furiously. "I think I'm too old for that anyway."

"You've only just turned 40. And as healthy as can be. I think you could still have babies. Didn't you say you had baby fever?"

Heedo couldn't deny that. She'd missed a lot of Minchae's babyhood since she'd still been fencing competitively. Mr. Kim's parents had watched her a lot. Heedo yearned for those little baby days that she had missed out on. Babies drove her crazy with their cuteness.

"Well, yes," she managed to sputter. "But Seungwan, as much as Yijin and I may have loved each other at one time, it didn't work out. We weren't right for each other. Sometimes love just isn't enough."

"Only because you two were trying to be together at the wrong time in your life. Now, it's the right time. 100%. So if there is any lingering love between you, I think you've got a really good shot. He's a total family man. He's proven that to me and I'm not even his wife. He's not like your mother in that department even if they had the same job. He's not the workaholic she was. Life is short Heedo. I'd take a chance on this. Believe me, the ball is in your court on this one. He's not going to approach you as he doesn't know where your feelings lie or where you are with the divorce. But if you make a move, I guarantee you, he'll reciprocate."

"I will...think about it," Heedo confessed. She felt a little thrill at the thought.

"Good. My girl takes fencing Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. My Mom drops her off Monday, Yijin drops her off Wednesdays, and one of his parents drops her off Fridays. I do pickups after class when I get off work."

Heedo nodded.

"I'm going to keep this our little secret. I won't let him know you're subbing so when he comes Wednesday, you make your move if you're interested."

Baek Yijin chuckled as he arrived to drop off his 5 year old niece for Auntie Yurim's fencing school. It was a zoo with the little ones running around getting ready for their lesson. Just getting on their gear was extremely difficult but he patiently helped her pull it all on. Gloves were a tricky part. And then he neatly fitted the fencing mask down over her face and she and her little friends bumped into one another and ran all over.

In about 2 seconds, he had no idea which one was even her. There were 10 masked small children running out for their lesson. Their instructors awaited them with high fives.

He turned to leave when a movement caught him from the corner of his eye. His eyes narrowed as he watched one of the fencing instructors out on the main piste. Facemask on of course.

He would know those legs and that butt anywhere. God, he felt like such a pervert, but it was true.

He would recognize the way she MOVED out on the piste anywhere.

Unless Na Heedo had a clone, she was out there right now.

Why? Had she come out of retirement? Was this her post divorce hobby? Back to fencing? He assumed she was divorced by now but he hadn't wanted to ask the group. They would have pounced on that and began teasing him mercilessly about why he would be interested in that information.

So he just stood watching. Probably with a large goofy smile on his face. He hadn't had the opportunity to watch her fence in forever. It was truly a sight to behold to watch a 3 time Olympic gold medalist in action. Watching her engage in her passion would make his day.

He checked his watch. He had a few minutes to spare before he had to go to work. So he just observed. No one could find fault with wanting to watch an Olympic gold medalist. It was a force to see.

A few minutes later, she saw him. He could tell. Her mask had turned his direction. He gave a quick wave and then felt stupid. Like she'd wonder why on earth he was standing there staring at her.

Within a minute, she'd ripped off the facemask and turned to him and waved back.

He groaned. She was so beautiful in her element. Her ponytail came cascading out of her mask and draped over her shoulder. Her face was pink with exertion. And she'd turned on her big, happy smile. The one where you couldn't help but smile in return.

She jogged toward him in her familiar cadence.

"Hi," she said casually.

"Hi," he said. "Retirement not treating you well after all? Taking up fencing again?"

"Yurim and Jiwoong took a trip for their 10 year anniversary. Yurim needed a teacher with enough caliber to teach the upper level students. Enter...me."

He nodded with understanding. "So...the woodworking is on hold?"

She shrugged. "A little bit. I'll spend a little more time fencing for a while and then go back to it. This is kind of like a fun vacation for me since it's not like I have to compete. Just fence for fun. I can woodwork at home any time now too without feeling like a bad Mom. Minchae is at her Dad's."

"Ah," he picked at an invisible spot on the railing. "So it sounds like the divorce did happen then."

"It did. It was a mess and stressful, but it's over now and I can rebuild.""

She removed her gloves and leaned her saber against the railing.

No wedding ring.

His eyes moved to her saber and he could feel the sentimentality creep into his face. Into his whole body. He nodded toward the saber.

"You still use that one huh? How long do those last anyway?"

"They can last forever if you take care of it properly. Obviously I do."

"Can I hold it?" he asked.

Heedo shuffled the saber over the railing to him.

"How many times have you had to rewrite National Team Member Na Heedo on here?" he asked. "I only used a marker you know."

She shrugged. "I just retrace your words every time it wears off enough that it gets hard to see. I haven't kept track, but a lot. Probably every month. Let's see, if I do the math...."

"You can't do the math. Don't even bother." Yijin teased.

That earned him a smack which surprised him. The casualness of it. He feigned pain while doing the math.

"If you used the saber from 1998 to 2009, that's 11 years. If you retraced once a month, that's 11 times 12. You've done this 132 times."

"Mininum," Heedo said. "It was probably closer to every 3 weeks I had to retrace it."

"Well," he said carefully inspecting the engraving. "Can I update it next time? It's looking like it needs it."

"Sure," she said smiling. "I like that idea. Of you writing it. Refreshing it to be back to "good as new."

"Ok. I drop my niece off at fencing at least once a week. Sometimes more. So you'll see me a lot while you're subbing for Yurim for the month. I'll bring a marker to be prepared."

"How about next time. It will be next Wednesday then?" she asked.

He rubbed his neck. "Um...yeah. Probably. I do have to go now. The news. You know. UBS. Apparently I am important up there."

"Ok, then, I'll see you next Wednesday so you can redo my saber. Sounds good. Bye Baek Yijin," Heedo said and she jogged off.

He watched her go with a light heart. And the casualness of that interaction left him joyous. Like they were friends again

They'd made an actual plan to see each other again. For the first time in nearly 20 years. It was just fencing drop offs and a black marker, but it was something.

Heedo blasted through the rest of her bout with an advanced student. She shook her head at the class of little 5 year olds doing their best. They were too funny. She saw Seungwan wave when she arrived to pick up her daughter.

"So?" Seungwan asked. "Have you thought any more about...whether or not you might be interested in Yijin?"

"Of course I'm interested in him Seungwan. I always have been. In one way or another. The issue is whether or not it's actually a good idea and if we will crash and burn again. And then I'm on the outs with all of you again. I finally just kind of got Yurim back. I'm hoping when they get back, maybe we can rebuild our relationship through the fencing school."

"Well, how long is it going to take to figure this out Heedo? You're not getting any younger!"

"Does it matter that much?" Heedo asked.

"If you still have baby fever, yes it does. And I'm sure Yijin would love a child of his own. He's ruled out the idea, but I think we can put it back on the table if you get together."

Heedo felt the blood rise in her cheeks. "Seungwan! I really don't need another child. I just think they're cute is all and I missed a lot of raising Minchae. So it's a few regrets but it doesn't mean I need to be out desperately searching for a man quickly just to get a baby."

"And I'm saying that your best chance is with Yijin. But you can't dillydally at your age. You gotta hit it hard. And fast."

"What does that even mean?"

"You know what I mean," Seungwan winked. "Like what you to used to do all the time back when you were dating. Don't think I never heard you Heedo. I lived in the same house."

Heedo's cheeks somehow burned even hotter. "Seungwan!" Her eyes searched around them to make sure no one was listening. "Don't say stuff like that in public. And... seriously?"

"The house is all attached darling. I could hear a lot if I was home. I don't really know what he was doing to you, but....let's just say that I'm fairly certain you would like trying to make a baby with Yijin. From what I remember."

Heedo buried her face in her hands with embarrassment. Seungwan wasn't wrong but hearing it out loud was humiliating. She had very much enjoyed those times.

"Well, keep thinking it over anyway," Seungwan said as her daughter ran up to her. "Did you guys even talk when he dropped her off?"

"Yeah, briefly. And he is going to help me with a small project when he comes back next Wednesday. And honestly, I wasn't even trying to get him back here. It just kind of occurred naturally. If nothing else I think we might be able to be friends again and do ok at it. It felt...right. Natural, like I said."

"Uh huh. I knew it would happen naturally if you met in the right circumstances. How could it not? What kind of project? Wood working? He told me about your business."

"No, just...something lame. It doesn't matter much," Heedo admitted. But deep down she knew how much it DID matter.

"I bet...well, here's what I think Heedo. In theory, he only shows up Wednesdays for drop off. If he's interested in you, I bet he shows up before that. If he drops her off Friday or Monday instead of the grandparents, you've got a man interested in you for sure. Keep that in mind and use it to your advantage ok?"

Heedo smiled on Friday. Seungwan had been correct. Yijin had shown up with his niece on a day he never did drop off. Heedo watched with a dopey heart as he helped the little girl get all her gear on. She could seriously watch this all day long. It was so adorable.

"Hi," she approached him as his niece bolted off to join her class. "You're here on a Friday?"

He rubbed his neck, "Yeah..so... I was at my parents anyway and figured why not just bring her myself? Give them a break. So here I am and I do have that sharpie ready to go. Bring on the saber!"

Heedo brought the saber off the piste and they sat down together on a bench.

"I'm ready to watch your magic now," she said mystically. "Perhaps if you do this just right, I'll be able to win 3 gold medals again."

He had to tease her. "You'll never be able to do that. My niece says she's already beat you twice. You're losing your touch if a 5 year old is beating you."

"Uh huh. She wins the same way you would win against me. By cheating. Or in this case, by me letting her win to get her confidence up. It helps with the little ones."

"Still going with me cheating huh?" he teased again. He took a deep breath and got to work. He had to make this perfect.

"I like your handwriting," Heedo commented as he began to carefully stroke the letters onto the handle. "You write better than most all boys. Almost as good as girls."

"I spell better then most girls too. Some are easier to outspell then others. I won't mention names."

Heedo huffed a laugh at that one.

He got really quiet with concentration as he carefully retraced those letters that had been written so many years ago. Heedo had a chance to look at him up close without having to pretend she wasn't.

Gosh, he was so handsome still. A few fine lines of course, but at 43 that was to be expected even with all the best skin care in the country which she was sure UBS provided for their media faces. His perfect nose that led down to his lips. How she had once hungered for his lips. She remembered back when she first fell in love with him and how she was so focused on his lips and had wanted to kiss him so badly she nearly exploded with want. And then that one New Years Eve she had actually leaned in and just done it.

"And then....Heedo? Earth to Heedo?" Yijin was waving his hand in front of her face.

"Huh? Uh, yes." She had found herself actually leaning toward him and pulled back quickly with embarrassment.

"You were totally spacing out just now. My handwriting truly is mesmerizing I suppose. Look, all done."

It did look as good as new. "It's perfect. The recreation and your stupid perfect handwriting. Oh, that reminds me...I wanted to...tell you something. Your handwriting I mean. It's weird, is that ok?"

"Always. What is it?" He sat back to give her his full attention.

"I found my last diary a few weeks ago. I had lost it. Well, I didn't find it. It was returned to me by the old comic book shop owner. Apparently you had found it and returned it to him instead of returning it to me. Likely nearly 20 years ago. I don't know what he did with it all this time. I read through it for nostalgia sake and at the end my handwriting ended and yours began. Do you remember this?"

He nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, I do. It was the first and last time I ever read your diary since it had been sent to me. It's when I realized you were 100% right in breaking up with me. Reading that made me realize how much pain I was causing you. And as much as I loved you, I had to let you go so I couldn't hurt you anymore. I wanted you to find happiness and not live in the depression filled life I was living at the time. So I wanted you to know that I didn't mean any of the harsh things I may have said. So I wrote it in there thinking he'd give it back to you. I guess he didn't."

"No. So I spent a lot of years regretting how I ended things. Reading that made me feel better. But then it gave me more regrets too. Like...what might have happened if I'd gotten your message then."

"It's all in the past Heedo. All you have now is your future. To do whatever it is you want. Still to this day, all I want is for you to be happy. Are you happy?"

"Happier than I've been in a long, long time. I found my friends again, and all the stress of my awful marriage is behind me. I'm in a good place."

"Does that mean we're friends again? If you are saying you found your friends again and you're sitting here with me?"

"If you want to be, yes. When I was married, I didn't feel comfortable being friends with men. It seemed almost...disrespectful to my husband I guess. Being close with another man. Particularly single men. That doesn't matter anymore. But do you have a girlfriend? I wouldn't want-"

"No," he interrupted quickly. No girlfriend. No one I'm dating or interested in. Nothing. I am free to be friends or in a relationship with whoever whenever."

"That's surprising," Heedo said not surprised at all since Seungwan had already told her this information. "You always have the ladies hanging around."

"Apparently I am too handsome. So yes, I suppose I can brag and say I can have my pick of the women. However, I am super, duper picky. The pickiest. As in, I can't find a woman that suits me."

Heedo didn't want to hear any more talk of him being with women. "Ok, then, does that mean I can be back in the squad? With the rest of you? You were really my only holdout of course. Because of our history."

"If you want to be, yes," Yijin said and then groaned with frustration as an alarm went off on his phone. He'd set one today knowing how hard it would be to walk away from Heedo again. "I have to go. UBS calls my name."

"I'll see you next Wednesday then?"

"I'll be here."

On Monday, Yijin convinced Seungwan's Mom to let him take his niece to fencing since she was busy with a big house project. She had no objections of course so Yijin got to see Heedo's smiling face yet again.

"It's Monday, not Wednesday," teased Heedo.

"Yeah, but you know, Seungwan's Mom was in the middle of something and I was on my way to work anyway, so...easy to just drop her off."

Heedo smiled.

Knowingly.

She was onto him.

"Oh! Um...I brought you something." Yijin pulled out a plastic convenience store bag. "I was buying my niece some treats on the way here and these caught my eye. Since we were coming here anyway, I thought you might enjoy them. If you don't, someone will around here I'm sure."

It was a 12 pack of banana milk.

"I know this used to be your fuel for fencing practice so I thought since you're fencing again you might need it-"

"Thank you, I love it! I still love this stuff but you're right. It tastes so much better after fencing than any other time. And all Yurim has in the fridge are the pine flavored drinks. I don't care for those."

Yijin wrinkled his nose. "Me neither. I swear it tastes like trees."

"Right? And now that I'm a woodworker, I don't want my work material to be something I think of as food."

"That's too weird. Tell me about your woodworking. Do you have any projects I might like? I mean, I might want to have something made by the Queen of Fencing and Woodworking-"

It seemed too fast and then his alarm for work was going off again. Pulling himself away from her was getting harder and harder than ever before.

And it became his pattern. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, he was drawn like a madman to that fencing school. No one could keep him from dropping off his niece. He had to literally elbow out his parents and brother's mother in law to take his niece in to class.

He had fallen under Heedo's spell once again. It had been quick and fast. Just as last time. That woman just radiated something that drew him to her. Her joyful way of looking at the world. Her enthusiasm. Her big heart and dedication to fairness. Her competitiveness. How could he stay away now that he'd been given another chance in this life?

He was content with being friends. But deep down he knew....there was a possibility there....of finally getting everything he had ever hoped and dreamed of. With her. He was in love with her. Not the kind of love that was a bittersweet first love. But presently and desperately in love. It had been so easy. How could it not be with her? He would be patient and wait for her as long as possible. She had waited for him the first time around. It was his turn now. She was the one and only love of his life. This he was now certain of.

On a Wednesday, Yijin showed up with more snacks for Heedo from the convenience store. Sweet treats that she used to love and still did.

"Hey, did Yurim sent you any pictures from their trip?" Heedo asked. "I asked her to send some and haven't gotten a thing. I wanted to travel Europe by proxy. They are nearing the end of their trip."

"Yeah, she sends a bunch to our group chat every day. Oh. You're not in the group chat....do you... want to be? I'm sure everyone will be cool with it. We're all back to being friends now, right?"

"I would really like that. I don't have a friends chat group," confessed Heedo.

Yijin whistled. "Well, it's about to get crazy then. It's who you would expect. The girls and Jiwoong and Yihyun and me."

"Sounds good."

"Sometimes Jiwoong likes to use it as advertising and that can get annoying, but other than that it's pretty fun."

Heedo pulled one of her business cards for 2521 Woodworking from her bag and handed it to him. "All my contact information is on here. Add me to the chat."

"Do you have a website for your business?" he asked squinting at the card. He needed his reading glasses. This getting old business was dumb.

"No. I honestly don't advertise. I don't want things getting too huge or crazy. It's just me and I don't have the time or manpower to become a huge cooperate business. I like it small. I mostly just get referrals. But I can show you pictures of what I do have in the group chat!"

His stupid alarm went off again. He actually growled at it and Heedo giggled.

"I'll add you as soon as I can. Expect your European vacation to begin shortly."

When Heedo got home from fencing that night, she finally had a chance to check her phone and immediately started smiling.

Pictures of Yurim and Jiwoong from Paris filled up the feed.

Jiwoong was questioning who the random number was that had been added to the chat by Yijin. Seungwan said she would bet him who it was and they had a whole big back and forth where Jiwoong guessed a bunch of people from celebrities to people Heedo didn't know. Yurim already had her number of course so knew who it was and she clearly egged Jiwoong on with his guesses. It was all very funny.

All she did was snap a few picture of her fencing gold medals and sent them through.

And then her eyes lit up as Seungwan and Yurim began immediately sending all kinds of happy emojis. Thumbs up from Yihyun and no response from either Jiwoong or Yijin.

Silence from Yijin was no surprise. She was watching him on TV right now. She had taken up watching the news now. She wanted to see him. He wouldn't be able to use his phone for a while. Jiwoong she chuckled about. She wondered how he would take it now that she was back to take some of Yurim and Yijin's attention from him.

It was the most enjoyable evening she had had in awhile chatting with the crew. It was 9 o'clock her time and 2 o'clock pm in Paris so Yurim texted and sent pictures from all over town. She even live chatted with the group.

Heedo beamed with happiness as she enjoyed her time. She was enjoying her life again. Finally.

And then at 11:00, her heart soared as she got a text message from an unknown number asking if she was asleep yet and if she was enjoying the pictures.

Yijin.

Who needed sleep?

They texted all night.

On Friday, Heedo fussed around all morning waiting anxiously for the afternoon for the fencing class. She knew Yijin would be doing dropoff just to see her and as expected he did.

"Hi," she said breathlessly running over to him. "Bring any good snacks?"

"Obviously," he teased pulling out the plastic bag. "All your favorites. You're using a lot more energy now than you're used to woodworking."

"Thanks. I'll return the favor. Need snacks at your work?"

"I thought you weren't allowed at my work."

Heedo laughed. "I think that was just my Mom's rule. Not UBS's rule. People might have gotten suspicious if I was around."

"Well, I will check the rules to see specifically if one Na Heedo is allowed on the premises. You can bring me snacks....or...." Yijin pretended to be very thoughtful. "You can bring me something else."

"What?"

"Something you made in your workshop. It doesn't have to be a huge chair or anything. Something small. Like a spoon or a bowl....or even a toothpick. Something crafted by you would be really special."

"I can make all those things. I can outfit your whole kitchen with wooden cookware if you really wanted. And a table and chairs. Or a personally engraved toothpick." She giggled at that one.

"Do you have like a showcase? So I can see your stuff? The stuff you sent me pictures of?"

"It's just all in my workshop. You'll like it I think. Want to come over and see it?"

"Tomorrow is Saturday. I am free all day."

"Come over any time. I'll make sure it's ship shape for you to see." Heedo ran over to the piste as Yijin took his leave to head to UBS.

She changed her mind and ran to the window instead. She watched him take his long strides to a car she didn't recognize. She was so sad to see him pull away and it was then she realized she had fallen in love with him yet again. She had always loved him over the years, but it was like a distant kind of love. A bittersweet and past love.

This was new. Real. A whole new beginning. The same love just brought back from the ashes. For them, just a little spark was needed to rekindle everything.

She vowed today would be the last day they really said goodbye.

Her workshop was exactly what Yijin had imagined it to be. He listened intently as she showed him around. He was amazed at the quality and flawlessness of her work. It was truly exquisite.

And he hadn't missed the line of rainbow chairs that brought all the color to the room. Just like their rainbow relationship had brought all the color to his life. And hers it would seem.

"Heedo, I'm speechless. Truly. This is all gorgeous. I can't truly believe you brought this to life. And you can create such art out of just trees."

"It's all thanks to you. As usual. You're the one who suggested the idea and I just went along with it. Following your advice usually seems to work out I've learned."

"And I can see you thanked me symbolically by incorporating pieces of me into your workshop."

She smiled. "Yes. You figured that out huh? I had to somehow dedicate my work here to you. It was your idea after all. And when we were 25 and 21 was the best year of my life. And you were the biggest part of that so I included you as well."

"What do you know? That was the best year of my life as well. And you were also the biggest reason for that."

Heedo's heart soared again. It was time to be bold and make her move. She knew the timing was right.

"Do you think we could ever make it again.....you know.... like that kind of relationship?" Heedo ventured shyly.

Yijin drew in a sharp breath at the question. He had been waiting and hoping for that question. For too long now. "Yes, I do. I've never truly stopped loving you Na Heedo. I loved you then, I loved you from afar, and now in the last few weeks I've fallen desperately for you once again. Being in your presence makes it impossible for me to not be head over in heels in love with you. I think it will always be inevitable. If you're in my life, I will be in love with you."

Heedo thought her heart had stopped. "So Seungwan wasn't wrong then. You were waiting for me?"

"I would have no one else, let's put it that way. I figured that out pretty quickly despite looking around for a bit. No other woman would do. I poured my efforts into a family with the one I did have. Yihyun's kids are basically my kids."

"Would you ever want your own kids?" she squeaked.

"Only if you were their mother. You're the only one I could ever see as a mother to my children."

"They won't be able to spell. Or do math."

"It doesn't matter. Their big hearts full of honesty and hard work will be all that would matter to me."

Heedo ran and threw herself into his arms. Her tears began spilling onto his neck. "I've fallen in love with you too. It was impossibly easy. As natural as breathing."

Yijin stroked her hair as he held her as closely as possible. "I think it might sound cliche, but we are soulmates Heedo. If it's possible, we will find each other. And we did when time allowed it again. That's all there is to it."

A kiss under their rainbow symbolized a new start in their forever.

Epilogue: 8 months later (April 2022)

"Positions please! Ok, everybody ready? 1, 2, 3!"

Yihyun took a montage of pictures of the squad in their original pose from 1999.

They were back on their beach.

They hadn't all been there together since Seungwan and Yihyun's wedding back nearly 10 years ago. But they were together now.

They were on the first of what would hopefully be many trips together as a group. It seemed only natural to make this their first trip.

3 married couples who were all best friends.

5 kids total and one baby on the way.

Yihyun handed the phone off to Minchae and ran to join his wife.

Minchae took pictures of the 3 couples all posing happily together on the beach.

Yijin snuggled Heedo's neck as he leaned forward to place his hands on her big tummy. He could feel their little girl kicking and moving around. She was getting big and strong and was very healthy.

"She's having a party again," Yijin whispered into Heedo's ear.

"Good," Heedo laughed. "Maybe it means she'll actually sleep tonight when I'm trying to sleep."

Heedo was over 6 months pregnant now. She knew the next couple of months would be the most uncomfortable as the baby simply ran out of room and got bigger and heavier. But she wouldn't complain one little bit.

Yijin had been beyond overjoyed when he'd found out Heedo was pregnant. It had happened incredibly fast. Heedo had been shocked since she was 40 years old.

Of course Yijin pampered her to a disgusting amount that made the other women absolutely jealous. Worrying about her health had always been his #1 priority.

"Don't worry," he'd assured her. "I know I probably look like a clueless 44 year old guy who would know nothing about babies. The truth is, I have been with my niece and nephew since the day they were born. I can do it all, I promise."

Heedo had total faith in him. She wouldn't have consented to have his baby and marry him if she did not. They had had a small but meaningful wedding celebration several months ago now with just the squad and their families.

They could live their happiest life together now without having to say goodbye ever again.

"I want a kids photo," Yurim announced. "We've got a big mix of best friends here. Continued into another generation. She rounded up her 2 kids.

Seungwan grabbed her 2 kids. "Soon enough, there will be a cousin in the picture too," she said gesturing at Heedo's tummy."

Minchae whispered to Yijin. "I can't wait to have a sibling. I never thought it would be possible. Now, I'll finally have a darling little sister. She'll be smart. I promise. I'll teach her everything even when Mom can't."

Yijin ruffled her hair. "You're going to make a fantastic big sister kiddo. Now, go on and get in the picture with the other kids."

"We'll come back next summer too," Heedo announced. "How about every summer? Make it a family tradition?"

"I like that idea," Jiwoong confirmed. "And next year, you won't be so fat in our pictures Heedo."

That comment earned him a smack from Heedo and a hard glare from Yijin.

"Sorry Hyung," Jiwoong bowed slightly. "I was just teasing. I know she's not really fat. But you know how I have to jab at her. It's what I do. Both you and Yurim love her too much and I get jealous. So I take it out on her."

"Jiwoong, you're getting too old for this jealously thing," lecture Yijin. "Work on it."

"Yes, hyung," Jiwoong said sheepishly hanging his head.

The kids lined up for their picture. They all looked so cute and Heedo still was in amazement at Yijin's mini me that was his nephew. It was like looking back 35 years at what Yijin likely looked like at the time.

"I want a mini Yijin," she mused. "A smart and fantastically handsome son I can brag about."

Yijin looked at her with amazement. "Na Heedo. Even after all the complaining the last few weeks about how uncomfortable you are getting with our daughter, you're already thinking ahead to another pregnancy?"

"I've never been so happy. All our families. The baby. I told you I've been having baby fever. I guess even being this uncomfortable, I still have it."

Yijin shook his head. "You're a stubborn one Ms. Heedo. If you want a son, we'll have a son too."

Heedo beamed. "Ok."

Seungwan finished the photos. The sun was about to set and the friends were all headed back to the vacation house for dessert and ice cream.

"You all head up," Yijin said. "Heedo and I want to watch the sunset and then we'll come in."

The rest of the group tromped their way though the sand and back to the house.

Yijin carefully helped Heedo sit down on the sand. It was no easy feat these days. He snuggled in behind her and she lay back onto his chest. He sighed as he rested his chin on her shoulder and took in the fragrant smell of her fresh shampoo. His hands again rested on her tummy and he felt the rolling movements of their daughter in her tight little home.

The only sound was the waves crashing over and over upon the sand. Heedo yawned as the sun slowly set over the horizon.

Another day in their happy life gone. But tomorrow a new one would come. She was certain.

"You know, I've done a lot of hard things in my life Heedo. But walking away from you on this beach all those years ago at Seungwan's bridal shower? One of the hardest. You were hurting and I could do nothing about it. Nothing. I hated it."

Heedo shifted to look at him. "You made my day though. Probably my month. Possibly my year. That birthday cake was everything Yijin. Everything. Just knowing you were out there supporting me and thinking about me from afar. Just knowing you were there."

"The cake made all the difference?"

"Absolutely. I was hurting and you DID so something to help. Even if it was from afar and even if we had to say goodbye."

"Never again Heedo." He grabbed her snugly and held her close. "We'll never say goodbye again, ok?"

"You're stuck with me for life Baek Yijin," she warned.

"I know. And you know I would never have it any other way."

The End