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The cat glared to Dean from under the shoe rack as they entered the apartment again, growling deeply from its chest. Dean glanced down to the cat and seemed a little bit unsure of what to do about the animal, if he should lean down and let it sniff his hand or if he should just step away from the animal in case it would lash out to him. So instead he remained standing where he was, holding the strap of his bag and looked around in the hallway.
Richard put down the umbrella, and then took of the rain jacket he had picked out for his little hunt. “Don’t worry about the cat, she needs a little bit of time to warm up to strangers.” Richard said and hung up his jacket. Dean nodded a little bit, but avoided to look in Richards eyes, which made him feel a little bit frustrated. At least he could try to be grateful for what he was doing, and say thank you or answer properly. Rather then just a nod. But Richard chose to ignore it, maybe the other was just shy.
“Would you like to take a shower? Warm up a little bit.” Richard suggested. Despite it having been warm for most of the day and even now in the evening, the rain must have made him freeze from the sudden change of temperature. And then sitting on the pavement leaning against a brick wall in the shadows? It wasn’t a wonder that he was shivering earlier. He was probably frozen to the bone.
Dean nodded, now looking up from the floor and to the wall as if to see if there were any frames up. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Dean muttered, then turned to look Richard in his eyes for the first time since they shook hands. “If you don’t mind?” Richard smirked, seemed like there was some politeness in the man after all. He shook his head.
“No no, not at all, I suggested it didn’t I?” Richard asked, Dean raised his shoulders slightly. “I’ll tell you what, you stay here and I’ll fetch you some fresh clothes for the night. We’ll was yours during the night, sounds good?” Dean lowered his shoulders and nodded a little bit, looking down to the cat again. “Right, I’ll be back in a moment.”
Richard turned around and headed down the hallway for his own bedroom, but closed the door behind himself as he did. Now he just needed to find clothes that would fit the other man and that would prove to be a challenge. Dean was a good couple of inches shorter then Richard, and smaller in every possible way. He wasn’t as broad, he was lanky, and he was small. Even if it only was for a couple of inches, he felt like a giant next to Dean.
But despite those thoughts in mind, Richard managed to find some clothes that would fit the other. Heading back out to the hallway where Dean now was kneeling down and scratching the cat behind her ears and having her purr in delight. “I see you’ve made friends already?” Richard teased a little bit.
“I like cats.” Dean stated simply, stopped scratching the cat and pet her once before standing up. “What’s her name?” Dean asked, but kept his eyes on the cat who now moved closer to Dean, whined and rubbed herself against his legs. By that Richard was surprised. Usually his cat required more then five minutes in order to be that friendly with someone.
“Arwen.” Richard said and stepped closer, patting the clothes he held in his hand. “Now-“ Though he didn’t get much further then that as Dean interrupted him.
“What, as in Arwen from Lord Of The Rings?” Dean guessed and looked up to Richard from the cat with a childish excitement in his eyes and a smile that made it seem as if Dean just had forgotten about any kind of problems he could be having. Richard nodded, a smile creeping up on his own lips. “I loved those books when I was a kid.” Dean said, smile still on his lips and glanced down to the cat. “Still do. But liked The Hobbit more.”
“I do to.” Richard confessed, then he looked back down to the clothes he held in his hands. “Now, I didn’t quite find anything in your size, but I hope these will do for the night. The bathroom is over there.” Richard handed the clothes over as he nodded over to the door at the other end of the bathroom. “Give me a shout if you can’t figure out how the shower works. Are you hungry? I could make you a sandwich in the meantime for when you’re out.” Richard offered, tilting his head a little bit to the side as he tried to decipher Dean’s confused look. He wasn’t high now was he?
“Sure, thanks.” Dean nodded and headed towards the bathroom, closing and quickly locking the door behind him. Richard sighed and let his hand flow through his hair, his other hand on his hip. This would be one awkward evening, and it was nearly two in the morning, right, he’d make the other a sandwich, bed up the couch and then he would be off to bed. He didn’t like staying up this late. In the mean time, Arwen trotted over to the bathroom door and laid down outside of it, stretching out as she waited for Dean’s return.
---
The bathroom mirror was covered in steam from the hot shower, and Dean didn’t really mind that. That way he would only see a rough outline of himself, but not actually be able to tell that it was him. He didn’t really want to see himself now, not anymore at least.
He dried himself in the neck with the towel that he had found, then started on his hair before the rest of his body. It wasn’t that he couldn’t manage to look at his own body, he was fine with that, despite the scars and the wounds he had gotten over years and time. It was just that he wasn’t okay with seeing his own face and eyes look back at him. He was scared he’d see the disappointment in himself when he looked.
Dean got dressed in the clothes that this Richard had given him even if they clearly were too big for him. The black t-shirt hung loose against his body and he felt as if he was a little boy again, wearing the t-shirt of his father, the t-shirt slid to the right, revealing almost all of his shoulder. The grey jogging pants he had where hanging onto his hips for dear life even if he had pulled at the string all the way before tying a double knot into it. With that, the underwear also stayed in place. The only thing that seemed to fit him was the pair of socks.
Dean piled up his clothes into a pile and then tidied up the bathroom a little bit. Once he was done with that, he pulled open one of the cupboards and started rummaging it through. He hadn’t gotten anything today and it felt like his body was burning, his heart was beating at the same rate of a racehorse and like this he certainly wouldn’t be able to sleep. He felt nervous and his fingertips tingled, his mouth felt dry and no amount of water he drank seemed to help.
Richard didn’t have that much in possession yet, and the only thing Dean found that could be off use to him where painkillers. And the painkillers weren’t even good ones, prescription free from the pharmacy. But it was a new package, so that meant more then enough pills. He took five and put the package back exactly where he had found it, stood up and grabbed one of the glasses on the sink, filled it up with water and with that, Dean swallowed the five pills he just had found in hope that it made him relax a little bit more. He knew that he really needed something by tomorrow, or he would start getting both sick and insane from it.
Dean threw his bag over his shoulder and gathered the clothes, adjusted the mat on the floor and then left the bathroom. Instantly he heard a cat cry out for him, and he had to snicker when he saw that the cat Arwen was waiting for him by the door.
He found Richard in the main living area with the television on, seated on the one end of the couch that he hadn’t magically turned into a bed with a blanket and a pillow. There was a plate on the table with a sandwich on it. “Uh, what do I do with this?” Dean asked carefully and raised his clothes a bit. Richard’s attention snapped away from the television and he glanced over to Dean before getting up.
“Just give them to me I’ll start the laundry machine, we’ll dry them in the morning.” Richard gestured for Dean to hand over the clothes and he did, Richards fingertips accidently brushing by his hand which set made his hands tingle in the most uncomfortable way, suddenly the t-shirt was itching as well and he wanted to get undressed again. Scratch out whatever itch it was, maybe it was the bugs again that were crawling around under his skin.
But Dean forced up a smile to him anyway and nodded as thanks. Then he looked over to the sandwich and suddenly he didn’t feel that hungry anymore. His stomach had turned into a knot and he doubted that he would be able to force anything down his throat.
When Richard returned five minutes later in changed clothing for the night, Dean was still standing in the hallway and rubbed his arm. The itch had died down a little but he regretted he didn’t have his sweatshirt anymore, that way he could still cover himself up more in case Richard would reach out to touch him. Fabric was okay, skin to skin right now wasn’t.
“The sandwich over there is for you to eat incase your hungry.” Richard commented and nodded over to it. Dean sucked on his lower lip. He didn’t want to seem impolite in fear of getting thrown out now. He would much rather prefer to sleep on the couch then out on the streets on a rainy night.
“Thanks, I’ll have it in a minute.” Dean moved over to the couch and sat down on it, rubbing his hands together. He had never felt this awkward in his entire life before. And he had quite a few memories built up by now that were awkward moments he never wanted to go through again. Richard nodded but remained standing in the hallway.
“The remote is on the table for when you want to shut of the television off.” Richard started and pointed over to the table in front of Dean, where the little black device was in the middle of. “I am pretty tired so I will head to bed, but I will see you in the morning, alright?”
“Yeah…” Dean nodded a couple of times, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the sudden luxury of everything. He glanced up to Richard and smiled weakly. He wanted to say thank you but he couldn’t quite figure out how to. “Good night.”
“Good night to you to.” Richard left and seconds later Dean heard a door close. Moments later the cat jumped up next to him on the couch and another fifteen minutes later, Dean managed to start on the sandwich. Once finished, he turned of the television and crawled under the blanket, the cat Arwen curled up by his feet, and was soon purring as they both drifted off to sleep, though it took Dean four hours before his body calmed down enough to let him sleep.
---
It was something loud that slammed shut which made Dean wake up in shock. He sat straight up in the couch, grabbing a hold of the blanket and the poor cat Arwen fell down from the couch as a result of his quick movements and hissed at him from the floor. His heart was already in his throat and he felt how his body screamed at him to move.
“Sorry, did I wake you up?” A voice came from the other end of the room. Unprepared of this, Dean flinched again before looking. What kind of question was that? Couldn’t the other see that he had woken him up from the reaction he had alone? How stupid was the other man really? He felt the irritation of it flow through his veins, causing a bitter taste in his mouth. No Dean, stay nice. He thought. This was not a moment or a chance to flip out at another person. If he played his cards right he could get out of here with so much more then he had now.
“No it’s alright.” Dean managed to murmur on a normal tone and pressed his face against his hands. As if that would help him to calm down a little bit. He swallowed again, his tongue felt thick and the familiar itch inside of him, the craving for something was already there. He needed to feel that needle against his skin. He needed it so much that it was starting to get difficult of all of his thoughts.
“I was just putting your clothes in the dryer so they’re dry for you later on. The sun is shining, weather man said no rain today.” Richard spoke from the kitchen and Dean rolled his eyes. Couldn’t the guy be a little bit more subtle in his way of telling him to get out of the apartment. No rain tonight, that meant he could leave and sleep on the streets. Fine, if he was going to be like that. Dean swallowed again, thinking the same mantras over and over to calm himself down. He couldn’t snap. Not now.
“You’re not from around here are you?” Dean then asked, hoping that the change of subject would provide him from the distraction he needed. Away from the feeling of cold metal against his skin and pressing down, nothing more then a tingle at first but then turning into a burn, the strap against his arm that would stop the blood flow. Richard laughed from the kitchen, and in an odd way it was an enjoyable sound. “You’ve got an accent.”
“I moved here from England two weeks ago, for work.” Richard confirmed. Dean looked over the back of the couch to see what Richard was doing, he was walking around munching on a bit of toast and did… whatever he was doing in the kitchen. He didn’t have the attention span for it right now. Dean rubbed his eyes with his thumb and his index finger, he could hear the flicker of his lighter in the background, imagining how he put the flame under the spoon he’d be holding.
“How do you like New Zealand then?” Dean forced himself to ask just to remain polite, though he really couldn’t bring himself to care of whatever answer Richard would throw towards him.
“Takes a little bit getting used to.” Richard answered briefly. Dean looked down to his hands, they were trembling slightly. “I’m going to take a shower, I will join you in about ten minutes alright?” Dean nodded again when he heard that.
“Alright, I’ll see you in a little while then.” Dean murmured. He remained seated in the couch, looking at his trembling hands until he heard the door to the bathroom fall shut. With that, Dean shot in action and threw the blanket of him, grabbed his bag and ran towards the kitchen. The longer he’d stay here the worse it would get. He pulled the fridge open and checked the contents, only grabbing the things he would actually have use for and tried to shove them down his bag. Arwen looked at him from the floor with curiosity.
He found a plastic bag, and in that, Dean shoved the clothes that Richard had just shut in the dryer. The bag ended up in his own bag as well before he zipped it shut. He stood up and put the bag on the counter, then snuck into Richards bedroom and pulled open the wardrobe, out he took a thicker hoodie and pulled it on.
Dean was fully aware that he shouldn’t be doing this, but Richard had made the mistake of leaving him alone, and he no intention of staying put and remain nice. His hands scanned the pair of jeans that Richard had been wearing and he found a wallet in his back left pocket. Out he took the note of ten dollars that he found and took all of the coins as well. That would have to do, he was sure he could make a deal with his dealer.
Back out in the hallway he took his shoes, pulled them on and took one of the jackets of Richard, pulling it on as well before heading to grab his bag. Once he held the bag however, Dean started to feel a little bit guilty. So he quickly found himself some paper and a pen, hearing how the water stopped running in the bathroom. He quickly scribbled a note and left it on the counter. He grabbed the bag and took an apple, and with that he left the apartment.
---
When Richard came out of the bathroom, fully dressed, and he didn’t see Dean in the apartment anymore he knew something was up. For one second he debated on checking the bathroom, before realizing that it was pointless, he had just come from the bathroom.
The living room was empty, and the door to the dryer was open. Holding the near soaked towel in his hands, he headed over to see what had happened. But the dryer was empty and there was no sight of Dean. On the counter he found a note that just said four words.
Thank you. I’m sorry.
Richard crumbled the paper together in his hand. He should have known.