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Mydei was not jealous. He was most definitely not jealous. Why would he be? He and Phainon were nothing..well, not nothing but they had never discussed exclusivity…. they had never discussed anything. They were both aware of the attraction between them, he would go ahead and call it a little more than attraction…maybe even L…
The point was that he was not bothered that Phainon had dragged him into that festival only to disappear into the dancing floor with some random girl that looked at him like he was a piece of meat. Disgusting .
“If you keep staring that hard you’ll bore a hole into Lord Phainon’s head” Castorice appeared seemingly out of nowhere to recline against the same wall as Mydei, at a respectable distance.
“It’d still be better for him than what that girl is planning” He mocked the other man, hoping to cover his previous thoughts.
“He won’t sleep with her, you know?”
“You think so? That's his 3rd goblet of wine, two more and he’ll…”
“...come running into your arms to be taken home”
Mydei couldn’t help to imagine it. Phainon with his face flushed and his hair falling messily into his forehead, tired and sweaty after dancing, his mouth slightly parted as he gasped his name. It wasn’t difficult to picture, it had happened several times before. It had taken all of Mydei’s self restraint to take him to his own room every single time and not give in his most base instincts.
“You don’t know that, he is physically unable to say no, if she as much hints that she wants him to fuck her, he’ll comply”
“Yet every time he has been drunk before he has gone directly to you…it’s a bit romantic, isn’t it? A man completely stripped of his inhibitions ignores all temptations and only yearns for his trusted partner”
“Castorice, we are just friends”
“I wasn’t the one that implied you weren’t”
He grabbed his head in frustration. A part of him was happy that Castorice finally felt comfortable enough with him to let go of her constant over politeness but sometimes it got on his nerves how honest she could be. Especially when it came to his relationship with Phainon.
He wasn’t blind, he knew most Chrysos Heirs had already figured out why he went along with all the Deliverers foolishness, why they seemed to orbit around each other. For all titans, Castorice wasn’t even the only one that had made comments regarding their perceived closeness, but she was the only one he considered close enough to allow her to speak so plainly and openly about those feelings he didn’t want to name.
“You aren’t exactly the festival type, what brought you here?” He tried to change the subject. To save a little face.
“The party is in honor of the flame chase, Lady Aglaea said we all were required to assist”
“That explains why the Deliverer was so pushy with me today, in all honesty I got a new book on war tactics that I was hoping to start today”
“And I was planning to finish my next novel this week, it seems both our plans were ruined”
“Well, since we were dragged here to be left on our own, do you want to go check the stalls?”
“You know I can’t get close to crowds”
“But you can get close to me and I don’t know if you’ve noticed but most people tend to avoid getting in my way”
A shy smile formed in the woman’s face. Mydei wondered how many times she had found herself in such a situation, watching everyone else have fun and only being able to stare from the sidelines. Craving the warm of connecting with other people.In some senses they were opposites and the same, two sides of the same coin… three with Cipher, it seemed fitting for the ones destined to inherit the authority of the titans of calamity, to be part of humanity yet destined to be separated from everyone else.
Mydei walked in front. Signaling the people to make space for Castorice who walked 3 steps behind. Even if she knew she couldn’t kill him, she still was wary of her curse and how it could affect others.
They walked slowly, looking at the stalls selling all kinds of goods. Mydei would ask the merchants to take a few steps back so Castorice could browse with confidence. They mostly found different foods, books and trinkets on sale, every now or then one would catch their attention but aside from a few spices to stock the hero’s kitchen they didn’t buy much.
They also found a few gaming booths. Castorice won an unicorn plushie by throwing balls into a pyramid of amphoras and breaking most of them. Mydei wasn’t allowed to try.
“Glad Phainon is not here, he would have laughed at me” even if he laughed, there was a certain sadness to his smile.
“To be honest I doubt he would have been allowed to try either”
“But he would still mock me”
“Do you want to return to find him? Maybe we can save him from his pretenders”
“No, don’t worry, he’ll meet us when he is ready”
They both knew the word ready meant drunk, but they felt no need to clarify it.
Finally they settled for getting some food and sitting on a bench in the border of the dance floor, Castorice, considering she had teased enough for the day, made no comment about his pick.
As he had been summoned, as soon as the pair started savoring their food a stumbling figure made their way towards them.
“Mydei!! Cas!!!” He took the spot on the border of the bench, right to Mydei’s back, taking the opportunity to claps his arms around the krmenoan’s neck “you are so mean to leave me alone like that”
“Let go of me, you reek of wine” He did his best to maintain his composure, to not show how much the feeling of Phainon’s chest on his back was affecting him “Also, you were the one to leave first”
“Don’t be mad at me, you knew I couldn’t refuse”
“Let go”
“Mydei…were you jealous?”
“Last warning, Deliverer, Unhand me!”
Even in his intoxicated state Phainon could understand the seriousness of that last statement. Choosing to separate himself from the other man. His drunken smile disappeared from his face, being replaced by sadness and regret. Mydei had to use all his willpower to not look at him, he knew all too well what Phainon’s kicked puppy face did to him.
“I’m not mad, Deliverer. Just let us finish our food and then I’ll take you home”
“Thanks Mydei, you are the best!” His mood shifted instantly, he was even about to throw his arms around him again but he stopped himself on the last second, choosing to just rest his head on the kremnoan’s shoulder.
Mydei’s face turned slightly red and Castorice repressed a giggle.
“Lord Phainon, would you like some?”
“Don’t give him food now, I don’t want him to throw up on me” Mydei complained while taking the meat skewer she had been offering to Phainon and taking a bite. Still smiling at the two men, Castorice moved backwards on the bench realising what she had been about to do “Don’t worry, you are far enough, just enjoy the food”
“Mydei is right, you can relax with us Cas! If I feel like I’m dying I’ll tell you”
The words came out slurred and way too loud for a man who seemed to be sleeping but Castorice couldn’t help but appreciate the gesture. Phainon started snoring right after.
Mydei and Castorice finished their food as they spoke in whispers, doing their best to not wake up their drunk friend.
The party was still in full swing around them but somehow Mydei felt calm.
“Do you need help getting him home?”
“Leave him to me, you can use us as an excuse to go home though”
“I think I will”
Mydei carefully shaked Phainon awake. He barely opened his eyes, looking quite disoriented, nobody could assess whether he was still drunk but not wanting to take any chances Mydei signaled him to climb on his back. Castorice bit her tongue to not mention that he seemed aware enough to walk on his own, maybe it was for the best. It wouldn’t be the first time their friend walked away and got lost during a drunk night.
Once he was securely wrapped around Mydei’s back Phainon returned to his previous position, gently snoring on Mydei’s shoulders. They walked together till they reached the hero's baths, then Castorice bid them farewell for the night and retired to her quarters, Mydei turned in the opposite direction, towards Phainon’s.
“Mydei, are you taking me to your room?”
“No, yours”
“I see…I thought this time…”
He didn’t finish the sentence, choosing to close his eyes and pretend to fall asleep. Mydei wasn’t buying the act but the silence was welcomed. What had that been? Was Phainon implying he wouldn’t mind if Mydei slept with him? He needed to calm down, they were the words of a drunken man, he couldn’t take them to face value. Also, despite the fantasies he more than once had whenever he has found himself taking his drunk “friend” home were just that, fantasies. No, giving in to such unbefitting urges would only ruin their relationship and he cared way too much about the other man to allow that to happen. Yes, he desired Phainon, he would admit that much to his own mind, but it wasn’t all that he wanted when it came to that man.
“Is that really all that you want out of me? A drunken fuck?” he whispered without thinking about it.
“No, but you wouldn’t give me what I want if I wasn’t drunk” Why did he sound so sad while saying that? Didn’t Mydei always comply with every one of his little whims? Wasn’t that proof enough of how far he was willing to go to make him happy?
“Maybe you should try asking…sober”
“Maybe I will…Mydei, if tomorrow I try to kiss I’ll be your fault”
Mydei couldn't answer anymore, too preoccupied with his heart threatening to escape from his chest. Had Phainon’s room always been so far?
When he carefully deposited Phainon on his bed, the deliverer was fast asleep. In other conditions he would have chided him about how unfitting for a warrior was to let his guard down so much but after that night he couldn’t get himself to. He just tucked him under the covers, put a glass of water on his bedside table and left the room.
Mydei then returned to his own room and as he fell over his mattress the reality of what had happened that night hit him all at once and chased away sleep. He wasn’t sure how long he stood awake replaying that conversation.
He had always known that Phainon thought he was attractive. For fucks sake, he had made a whole campaign for him to be named the most handsome man in Okhema despite being a strong contendant himself. And of course there had been some moments between them he couldn’t label as “friendly rivalry”. Looks too charged, touches too intimate, words too sweet later hid as mockery. He wasn’t stupid, he could see the signs. Yet he still had his doubts.
Never before had he second guessed himself before taking a lover. He had always been quite direct when it came to such matters but somehow when it came to Phainon he was unable to take the next step. The possibility of rejection, no matter how small, always outweighed his desires. Afterall he knew Phainon wanted him but that didn’t mean his feelings ran as deep as Mydei’s, and even if he didn’t want to admit, that thought was scary even for a kremnoan.
He wasn’t sure when the tiredness beated his overthinking but somewhere along the way he had slipped out of consciousness.
When he woke up the next morning the first thing he felt was a warm weight over his chest. Had he left the window open last night? It wouldn't be the first time a stray chimera wandered into his bed. He lazily opened his eyes, prepared to pick up the little intruder and take them back to the garden of life but the tuft of hair he found in front of him wasn’t a chimeras. He’d recognize the soft messy white strands anywhere, but what was he doing there? He had taken him to his own room, hadn’t him?
“Deliverer…?” He asked in a small voice, unsure if he actually wanted the other to wake up.
“Oh… good morning Mydei” There was a little shyness to the way the words were said against his chest, refusing to raise his head and face him.
“Good morning,” he answered doubtfully. Just what in the world was happening? He was sure he hadn’t drunk any alcohol last night. Was he having a dream? No, a dream wouldn’t feel so uncomfortable, so embarrassing.”Can I know what in the world are you doing here, Deliverer?”
“You said if I wanted to come to your room I could ask when not drunk… but you were asleep so I kinda…”
“...Decided to do whatever you wanted anyways?”
“I told you, it’s your fault now”
“You said a kiss, not getting into my bed in the middle of the night like a stray chimera”
“Are you really mad?”
“No” He confessed, more shyly than he intended. He found his arms circling Phainon’s body, like he was preventing him from leaving his chest.
“Your heart is beating really fast” His voice was a lot calmer now, there was even a teasing edge to it.
“And whose fault is it?”
“Mine, all mine” He finally lifted his face to reveal a smug smile, the kind he usually got after winning one of their competitions. Before Mydei could retort he pressed the promised kiss to the kremnoan’s lips.