Work Text:
stormz sat under the shade of the tree as his fingers carefully worked a flower into the stem, taking his time to properly tie it in. his hands were shaky and prone to mistakes, but he had the determination and will to properly finish it. next to him laid various cut poppies, discarded for every time stormz failed. it was becoming a bit of a sad sight.
every once in a while he would look to his side to see the same black pants in the exact same cross legged position. seeing his companion relaxed, sat down in the grass while supporting their back on the trunk, ultimately safe and sound, made him feel a wave of relief. looking down at the half finished flower crown, he apologized, "i'm sorry dumb, i'm messing up a lot today."
he wasn't sure what he was waiting for with bated breath. "that's okay, you'll get it eventually." the reassurance soothed the ache in his stomach. stormz rubbed the broken stem of yet another failure.
"yeah, yeah." he immediately discarded it into the growing pile and reached out into the basket for another poppy and the pocket knife they had been exchanging with each other for the purpose of cutting off excess stem.
stormz went right back to work, working the poppy in as he got lost in thought. going back to how he got here in the first place.
it was— a forest. no, a flower field. storm was walking through a never ending field of flowers, not really sure where he was going or if he was ever gonna see a flower other than tall grass, peonies and rose bushes. while stormz didn't mind them, it was getting a bit repetitive. he was a bit sick of it. he was just, walking.
walking.
and walking.
and walking again.
it felt like an awful long time had passed, yet he didn't feel his legs tire. he'd look up to unchanging clouds. was he walking in circles? it was still day time, the sun was nowhere to be seen. it wasn't dark out, yet there was no scorching heat lapping at him, so he was content with that.
he paused at some point. he thought so, anyway. the journey here before finding this little oasis littered with poppies and lilies of the valley felt blurry in his head. how did he get here again?
mhm.
ah.
right. dumb showed up at some point, and held his hand as they led the way into this little resting place atop a minuscule hill. he asked a question then, he thinks: "how are you here, dumb?"
his voice echoed through the vast space, "what do you mean? i was always here." they then chuckled. a melodious sound that made the flowers around them dance, and the gentle breeze sing.
"oh." stormz's fingers twitched. dumb had always been here? where? but dumb looked back at stormz with a smile on their face and it didn't really matter anymore. "yeah, i guess so."
dumb then tightened their grip with a smile, before looking back onwards to their destination. stormz hadn't paid much attention to where they were going, because stormz couldn't remember it. he could only recall the flutter of dumb's loose hair, the shape of their profile, and the callouses on their hand.
their hand. stormz remembers tightening his grip in reciprocation. at the time, the thought— the mere possibility of letting go of that too-warm hand made him feel nauseous and sick to his core.
maybe that was why he felt ill now. there had been this black hole in his stomach that threatened to eat him up whole. his whole existence felt the pressure of it like weights chained to his neck and limbs. dumb's touch seemed to be keeping it at bay, so stormz didn't wanna let go in case his insides caved in on him.
stormz was snapped out of his spiral when dumb announced, "we're here."
stormz finally took a look at the place they had arrived at, and he could only describe it as heaven. not heaven like what used to be home; pearly gates and judging stares. but heaven in the most human way possible. light and intoxicating fragance blown his way by the breeze, a blooming cherry blossom tree that was rooted at the center of the oasis; a steady and secure pillar, tranquil and quiet with nobody else but him and dumb to behold this sight.
"how did you find this?" he muttered under his breath as his gaze swept over the place.
"i just did."
stormz's grip tightened as he took a step forward with dumb in stride, "let's go, i wanna see that tree from up close."
they walked around the meadow, exploring every nook and cranny. they found all the signs of someone having built this entire paradise, yet there was no sign of use, no trace of any human life whatsoever. in any other circumstance, it might've been creepy. it might've triggered all of stormz's self preservation, but in the moment, stormz enjoyed himself with dumb without a worry in the world. when they found a nice, clear lake, dumb started a water fight. they then laid down to cloud gaze, while waiting for their wet garments to dry on the grass. they even found a swing at the beginning of the hill. it brought back nostalgic memories from times long buried away.
stormz hadn't felt so happy in so long, he couldn't even remember why he was sad to begin with. what was there to be sad about? he was resting in the shade while his best friend and him tied each other's favourite flowers into a sturdy stem after having so much fun. there was nothing to feel wretched about. nothing.
so then, why was this sickly feeling coming back? he didn't want to puke out the berries they had picked together. that was their hard work, and memories he treasured. he wasn't sure when they would get to do it again. for some reason, stormz felt like he wouldn't see dumb again if he—
he twitched.
although the idea of lying and hiding things from dumb made him feel queasy, he didn't want to interrupt this moment yet. he swallowed down the persistent lump in his throat. burying it deep, deep inside.
stormz smiled, and offered a finished flower crown to his best friend. "dumb, i—" his voice cracked. he coughed. he pretended he didn't. "i finished it. i did it, here you go." and when dumb didn't visibly react to his words, stormz felt that void inside stir, hungry for something. "dumb?"
he pushed it towards dumb, insisting, "why aren't you talking? uh, i made this. with your favourite flowers. poppies. you loved poppies, right? did i… misremember?" there was a shakiness to his voice that made him feel conscious of his vulnerability.
the smile slowly fell from his face. it was only then, dumb finally looked at him. "oh, i'm sorry. i got lost in my thoughts." dumb smiled and gently took the crown from his unsteady hands, giving it a look over. their tone of voice didn't change at all as they commented, "woah, you've gotten rusty. you're making many mistakes you didn't use to before. this looks like the handiwork of a beginner."
stormz bit his lips, the words a needle sharp pain in his chest. he smiled anyway. "yeah, i… i'm out of practice. i haven't done this in a while," because of what? why did he stop?
dumb hummed. "i can tell." he let down the crown on his thigh. stormz was only mildly disappointed that dumb didn't wear it. "well, look at mine! i made it with lilies of the valley. they're your favourites."
when stormz looked down, he was expecting a crown with lilies neatly tied by hands that were familiar and expert at the craft. he wasn't expecting the black black dahlias messily tied into the stem with all the anger and carelessness of the world. it took him by surprise, and the tentative peace shattered before he could even do anything about it.
"dumb—"
stormz didn't have time to process anything at all before he felt his head hit the rough ground. he let out a squeak at the pain, and choked as he felt the air being obstructed from his lungs.
there was a heavy body pressing him down into the ground and a pair of familiar, scarred hands pressing down on his wind pipe. he let out sounds of struggle, but his hands that were unrestrained seemingly moved in the air with no clear motive or path. he wasn't sure, he didn't know what to do—
the sun rays bearing down on him made it hard to look at the owner of the hands slowly killing him. he could barely keep his eyes open to catch the black of their horns.
why? why? what did he do?
stormz asked himself as he felt the hands tighten around his neck despite there being no struggle to break free at all. there was no reason to do this, other than pure, raw hatred for him. he could feel it, the resentment, the loathing—
but deep down, stormz knew. he knew all along. he just thought this dumb wouldn't. he thought this may be the opportunity to, to make it up. to do something— anything! to apologize— making flower crowns like the old times had been his idea, he just wanted to apologize in the only way he could think of!
hot tears slid down his cheeks, as he felt his vision slowly darken into nothingness. his hold on dumb's arms not strong enough to even crush a flower.
'sorry. sorry, sorry,' he repeated that word in his head like a mantra, over and over again. hoping it would bring some sort of redemption, wishing it would reach dumb somehow, through sobs and heaving and choked out air.
what would come next he would never know, because stormz woke up with a heavy gasp, cradling his neck like a man deprived of air. he gripped his sheets tightly, the texture of it uncofortable to the touch. it felt foreign, even if he immediately registered the room and the bed he was in as his own. the sheets a thing made out of wool he had hand picked and woven together.
"stormz?"
he looked towards the voice with a startle.
"yo, you good?"
dolphin looked at him with worry, a lit torch in hand. stormz rushed to sit up and opened his mouth to speak, but it was hard to do through choked sobs. only incoherent sounds, unfinished words and sentences made it out. he bit down on his own lips to force himself to calm down before he could make a embarrassing sight of himself to his teammate.
"stormz, are you— uh, wait. i'll go get water." dolphin rushed out of his room, taking with them the source of light.
it shrouded the room in darkness once again, and it oddly made stormz feel more comfortable, the mess of him obscured by a veil of black. for just a moment, until his teammate came back, anyways. he rested his body against the headrest, beating down on his chest, willing himself to calm down. calm down. dolphin was in the room right over. he couldn't show this side of him to dolphin right after becoming teammates. it would be, pathetic.
he breathed in and out as he slowly came back to earth. he thought through the fog of his mind: that was a dream. a nightmare or just a dream, he couldn't quite decide on. if dumb was in it, could it be called a nightmare when their presence made everything shine brighter? even if it was dumb crushing the life out of him, it was still dumb. he couldn't really muster up any anger about the thought of it.
he would never be mad at dumb for, for… because he—
"i got water." warm torch light bathed the room and got closer and closer as dolphin approached with a glass of water in hand. "here." they offered with a extending hand.
stormz gracefully took it, paying —or trying to— no mind to the disheveled state he was in, heavy panting and tear streaks. he probably made a sorry sight, he thought with shame. he closed his eyes, and tipped the glass over his lips. the instant relief made him realize just how dry his mouth was. so much so, the water seemed to taste better than it usually did. he chased after it, swallowing it all with desperation.
when the glass was emptied, he let it rest on top of his nightstand. he thought, there's no escaping it now. he bit on his lips as he waited in silence for the questions that would come.
"…" dolphin looked at him, unmoving, not saying anything. they seemed to be studying his facial expression and body language, which was unsettling at best.
he felt exposed in the light. the torch's warmth not enough to fend off the chills.
dolphin sighed with all the knowledge in the world, apparently. "i won't… ask if you don't want to answer. just don't stay up late, thinking about…" dolphin looked to the side with a tilt of their head. "no, never mind. just don't stay up too long."
dolphin gently patted his shoulder, and he just let them. "… yeah," he muttered back, never really looking back at their face.
stormz didn't see it, but dolphin's expression as they looked over him softened just a fraction. understanding written somewhere that they had both lost someone. stormz took it worse than dolphin, but they both had their own fair share of regrets as well. they knew, it ate stormz alive. the guilt of it. they weren't sure if stormz was even aware of it. of that hollowed out look he would sometimes sport.
as dolphin waved good night and walked back to their room, stormz stared at their back with a numb look on his face. only when he heard the click of a door closing, he sighed and hid his face in his hands.
he squeezed his puffy eyes shut, rubbing with more force than he probably should. he opened his eyes, the dread in his gut a slow, infectious parasite, sucking the life out of him with the passing of each tick.
it was then, stormz realized something with a frown, massaging his temples. he couldn't remember— just what dumb looked like. how dumb looked at him in the final moments. did he— did he ever get a proper look?