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"Karasun"
He could hear the familiar voice of his former duo and teammate. When had he arrived at the French stratum? How long had he been here? He didn’t remember seeing him arrive, but he didn’t think he’d fallen asleep either.
How had he ended up with Otoya Eita sitting on his lap? Wait, what was he wearing?
“It’s that my…” Karasu seemed at a loss for words at the image in front of him. Why did Otoya look like he wasn’t wearing anything but his jersey?
“Huh, I just borrowed it for a bit. Maybe I’ll get an offer from PXG, wanted to see if it looked good on me to be sure before considering it,” Otoya said casually as his fingers slowly played with the hair at his nape, tilting his head to the side while looking him straight in the eyes with those charming green eyes. “Do you want me to take it off?”
Karasu quickly shook his head, which caused a small smirk to appear on the boy on his lap lips. Since when did Otoya act so flirty with him? He’d done it a couple of times before, but it had always been in a joking tone and always in front of someone else to make them laugh too, this wasn’t that.
It seemed like a miracle none of their teammates were there teasing them. Maybe they were training. Was it training time already? Was he missing practice?
How was he supposed to worry about those things when Otoya was looking at him like that ? Was this what all the girls his teammate flirted with felt like? He could understand why they fell for him so easily if he always acted that way.
What the hell was he thinking? That was a ridiculous train of thought he needed to shake off as soon as possible before…
“Karasun.” Again calling him by that stupid nickname, but his voice sounded as sweet as honey as he whispered directly into his ear, “Does it look good on me?”
The player from the French team was a few sizes bigger than the one from the Spanish team; the jersey hung loosely on him, and sitting like that on his lap, it just barely covered part of his thighs.
You could tell how extensively he’d been training just by how toned his thighs were, the skin of his legs as pale as the rest of his body. He didn’t even seem to bother questioning why he wasn’t wearing pants, his mind (and hands) seemed completely lost exploring other places.
That was until hands lifted his face, returning his gaze to Otoya’s green eyes, which looked at him without any visible expression, but he could feel an unusual hunger in the other’s gaze. Maybe it was concerning that he didn’t care about that at all.
Otoya’s face moved slowly and dangerously close to his. He could stop him if he really tried. He knew he had the strength to stop him before he managed to do whatever he was planning. But did he want to stop him?
The answer to that question scared him, but Otoya, who seemed far more decisive than him, was the one to take control of the situation and finally…
“What are you dreaming about with that happy expression?” Shidou fucking Ryusei.
Karasu woke up abruptly, sitting up immediately in a sudden motion after his teammate’s voice interrupted his dream. It wasn’t hot, and yet he could feel his cheeks flushed and his body sweaty.
What the fuck was that dream? The dark-haired boy wondered as he ran his hands over his face, trying to fully wake up, although every time he closed his eyes, those images of his best friend in his jersey kept repeating over and over again. Shidou’s mocking gaze wasn’t helping his situation either.
“Crow, you really looked happy. Care to share?” The pink-eyed guy with the eccentric eyeliner asked again, clearly trying to tease him.
“Mind yer own damn business ya demon,” Karasu snapped back, his voice still slightly hoarse as he lay back down, still covering his face.
“Oh, you wanna keep your fantasies about that ninja guy to yourself, I see.” The crow froze for a second, his gaze slowly turning until his blue eyes locked onto his teammate’s. He didn’t know what kind of expression he had on his face, but apparently, it was funny enough for the other to burst into laughter.
How the hell did he know that? Had he called his name at some point? He didn’t remember doing that. There was no way he could know.
“How—” Shidou’s laughter grew louder, not even letting him finish the question. It even looked like he shed a few tears from laughing so hard.
“Oh, what a lucky guess,” he said finally, once his laughter started to calm down a bit. Lucky guess? How was he supposedly guessing something like that on the first try? “Don’t worry, crow. I’ll keep your secret, for now.”
For now? What was that supposed to mean? Before Karasu could ask anything else, Shidou left the room, still giggling.
Karasu remained silent for a few seconds. He was the only one left in the room. The silence was absolute, leaving him alone with his thoughts. What the hell just happened?
…
Karasu was straight. He had never really doubted it, it had just been natural for him to assume it. He had only ‘fallen in love’ once in his life, back in elementary school. But over the years, he had found many girls with strong and intelligent personalities attractive, even though he’d never gotten into any serious relationships with them.
He just never had any reason to doubt it. He was straight, period.
So why couldn’t he get a certain so-called ninja descendant out of his head? Since that dream, everything seemed a thousand times more complicated. How was he supposed to concentrate if the image of Otoya wearing his jersey kept appearing in his head?
The simple answer was: he couldn’t. Loki had noticed. The rest of PXG had noticed. And for Shidou, it seemed to be the funniest thing in the world that the crow, who always kept a cool head and a sharp mind, seemed completely lost in thought.
After a few scoldings from the coach and a lot of cold showers, it seemed like his critical thinking was finally coming back.
He didn’t like men if he was only attracted to an idealized version of one that mind decided to create one random night.
Besides, as far as he knew, Otoya was also completely straight. He would never act the way he did in that dream, he wouldn’t wear his jersey, wouldn’t sit on his lap, wouldn’t talk to him like that, wouldn’t look at him like that...
Damn, even just thinking about it really had an effect on him.
But it was just a slip of the mind. His mind was treacherous, it knew everything that affected him and was making him imagine things with the one person it was least likely to ever happen with.
Maybe spending so much time apart from Otoya had also affected him a bit, and the lack of women combined with the absence of his best friend had resulted in that weird dream full of things that should never have mixed in the first place. It didn’t really matter. He would forget about it eventually and get back to his normal routine. It would all fade away, right?
Karasu couldn’t have been more wrong.
Unable to control it, the dreams only became more frequent. Otoya in his jersey. Otoya on his lap. Otoya without a jersey. His mind seemed to fill up with those images of his best friend, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t erase them from his memory.
Everything just seemed to become Otoya around him. He found himself missing his company at meals, the totally obvious way he put his veggies on his plate, those dumb sound effects he made for his supposed ninja moves, the way he said absolutely everything that came to his mind without any kind of filter, the completely messy and weird positions he found him sleeping in every morning when he went to wake him up.
He hadn’t even realized all the little habits Otoya had until that point. What was all of this supposed to mean?
He’d never had very meaningful friendships before. He’d preferred to keep everyone at a considerable distance, far enough so they couldn’t see the mediocrity he tried so hard to hide. Maybe it was their incredible compatibility that had made him drop his guard so much around him, but Otoya Eita ended up being more important to him than he expected.
And there he was, another night with his eyes lost on the ceiling, wondering if, when he closed them, another image of the ninja would be waiting. It confused him. He’d already lost many hours of sleep since all this began, and he simply couldn’t answer his own questions. It was stressful.
"It’s two in the morning, what are you doing awake?" Shidou’s voice drew his attention, making him immediately turn in his direction.
"None of yer damn business" Karasu replied in his usual tone, a bit raspier and tired. "Why are ya awake?"
"None of your business either" The pink-eyed boy replied, imitating his tone. There was a long silence until a small giggle from Shidou could be heard, planting a confused expression on Karasu’s face. "Still thinking about the ninja guy?"
"Shut yer ass" Karasu snapped instantly as he felt a certain heat rising to his cheeks. He’d always prided himself on not being exactly easy to read, but there was the damn demon reading him like an open book when it came to the ninja.
"I’m gonna admit you've been giving me bi vibes since the first moment I saw you" Shidou replied casually, still from the comfort of his own bed.
"The fuck are ya talking about? I’m straight" Karasu clarified quickly, sitting up in bed while still looking at the only one awake among their three roommates. But that statement only made Shidou laugh harder.
"Straight men don’t have wet dreams about their friends, y’know?" He replied mockingly, sitting up as well.
"God, can’t ya shut the fuck up?" Karasu grumbled, starting to feel annoyed. He was sleepy, had accumulated exhaustion, and Otoya was still refusing to leave his thoughts even for a second.
How was he supposed to stop thinking about him when he saw him in literally everything? Even in that stupid argument, it reminded him of those first nights when they were forced to share a room.
"Hey, I’m just trying to help you a bit" Shidou replied with supposed innocence, raising both hands to show it.
"Ya? Ya wanna help me?" Karasu asked incredulously, still staring in his direction.
"Sometimes all you need to see your problems clearly is to tell someone else. I’m a good listener" the blond finally got out of bed, slowly walking over to the only other one awake in the room.
“What makes ya think I have a problem?” the blue-eyed boy asked, looking slightly offended as he moved to make space for the other to sit next to him.
“That you’ve been playing like shit lately and that you’re awake at fucking two-thirty in the morning when we’ve got training in a few hours” Shidou answered bluntly, turning to look at his teammate’s face.
Maybe it was their casual appearance at that moment, no hair gel, no makeup on the tanned guy’s face, or that he didn’t seem to be trying to laugh at him, but something about Shidou just made him feel comfortable enough to finally sigh and start talking about everything that had been on his mind for the past few day.
He mentioned the dreams without going into detail, how he couldn’t stop thinking about Otoya no matter how hard he tried, and how that clearly didn’t make him any less heterosexual because they were just dreams and fantasies, nothing real, and nothing that would ever become real. Nothing like that had ever happened with another guy before, so he justified it by saying it was a particular case of mental deterioration from being cooped up for too long.
“Crow, your closet is as clear as glass” Shidou said once Karasu finally seemed done with his verbal vomit, leaving space for the other to speak, quickly earning a death glare from the blue-eyed boy.
“Yer claim is unsustainable. Yer basing it on fantasies and assumptions of things that will never actually happen” Karasu jumped to defend himself again, prompting another laugh from the blond at the way he chose to defend his heterosexuality.
“But if it happens” Shidou brought up hypotheticals and possibilities again, “You’re telling me that if the ninja guy just shows up one day in your room wearing your jersey, you wouldn’t do absolutely anything about it?”
Shidou asked incredulously, making Karasu roll his eyes. “I wouldn’t do anything ‘cause that hasn’t happened, and it won’t ever happen. Get over it, demon.”
“Oh, okay, whatever you say, Mr. Crow” Shidou said, still laughing at his teammate’s responses.
“What’s that supposed to mean? Get back ta yer fucking bed. Talking didn’t help me with shit” Karasu grumbled as he practically shoved his teammate off his bed.
Shidou just laughed a bit more before heading back to his own “We’ll see about that, little birdie.”
Karasu just rolled his eyes again, turning away in bed with his back to his roommate. Stupid conversation and stupid Shidou Ryusei only managed to confuse him even more. He didn’t even know how much time he had wasted on this anymore, but getting up in the morning surely wouldn’t be easy.
He had never wished so badly that he could just turn off his mind and stop thinking.
…
Training the next day was nothing out of the ordinary. Karasu did his best to stay focused. He even kept training on his own for a few more hours to make up for everything he felt he had failed at. This was still Blue Lock, after all, he couldn’t afford to fall behind.
Already in the showers, he heard Shidou talking about a movie night he wasn’t invited to for having been ‘mean’ with him during the night. Something he could care less about. It was like all the accumulated exhaustion from the training and lost sleep had finally hit him hard, leaving him completely drained and without energy.
When he opened the door, as expected, none of his roommates were there. However, there was definitely a surprise waiting for him.
Otoya fucking Eita. Lying on his bed, wearing his jersey, just scrolling on his phone as if that was the most normal thing to be doing.
Karasu stared at him from the doorway, even blinking several times like he expected the image to disappear when he opened his eyes again. Was he dreaming again? Had the physical and mental exhaustion finally reached the point of making him hallucinate?
“Ah, you’re here” Otoya said as he finally turned to look at him, his voice as monotone as ever as he stretched before sitting up on the bed.
He had so many questions, so many things he wanted to say before doing anything else, but his body seemed to move purely on instinct toward the bed. He sat beside him and wrapped his arms around his waist, burying his face in his neck.
He was tired. He had never felt like he needed something so much as he needed him close at that moment. The rational part of his brain could go to hell for a while.
“You’re way more touchy than I remember” Otoya commented casually as his fingers started running through his unstyled hair, playing with the hair at his nape, bringing back vivid memories of that stupid dream that had started everything.
“Shut yer ass” Karasu muttered as he tried to sink even deeper into that hug. He didn’t understand why he needed it so much, but in his half-asleep state, it just felt like the right thing to do “Ya look good on my jersey.”
Karasu felt Otoya’s hands leave his hair and move to his cheeks, lifting his face from his neck to a height where their faces were aligned. His eyes felt heavy, so he knew he had a sleepy expression, while the green-eyed boy’s face remained calm and serene as always.
Sometimes he envied the way Otoya faced the world so calmly.
“What if I just kiss you right now?” Ah yes, and his way of saying everything on his mind too.
Karasu looked at him for a few seconds, not knowing exactly how to react. What do you even say when the person you’ve been dreaming about for days tells you he wants to kiss you?
“Don’t ya like girls?” Karasu finally asked, his gaze flickering constantly between Otoya’s eyes and his lips, he really did take good care of them.
“Yeah, but I might like you too” the green-eyed boy said casually. How was he capable of dropping a bomb like that while staying so calm? Was he not aware of the effect his words had on him? “What about you? Do you like girls?”
“Seems like not so much anymore,” Karasu replied as one of his hands slid up to the back of Otoya’s neck, pulling him just enough to finally close the distance between them.
‘Fuck the girls,’ he thought as his lips slowly moved over Otoya’s, one hand on his waist while the other remained on his nape, the other’s hands gently caressing his cheeks. If this was what he lost by labeling himself as straight, the labels could go to hell.
He couldn’t care less, especially with a certain ninja beginning to move onto his lap, reality truly did surpass dreams.
…
ninja guy
demon ( 3:00 am )
hey
the crow wanna fuck you too
ninja guy ( 3:01 am )
let’s fucking gooo
did he say that?
demon ( 3:01 am )
not exactly
but I know he want it
anyway
come to the french stratum later
wanna prove him wrong
ninja guy ( 3:02 am )
lmao what did he say?
demon ( 3:02 am )
he didn’t shut up about you for 10 minutes straight
but then said he wouldn't do anything if u show up wearing his jersey
a total lie btw
u would’ve laugh at his excuses too
ninja guy ( 3:05 am )
me on his jersey?
hot af
lmao i’m in love w an idiot
anyways
i’ll be there
just tell me when
and what do to
demon ( 3:06 am )
i have everything plan already
dw ur ninja mind about it
u just gotta #trust
ur getting out of that room w a crow as ur bf