Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Steven woke up with a quiet gasp. He tried to calm his breathing as he wiped the sweat off his forehead. He was reeling from a nightmare where he had turned pink, rampaged across the beach trying to destroy anything that hurt him, and was at least fifty feet tall. Suddenly, his eyes widened with horror when he noticed the cracks on the glass door. It wasn’t a dream. Yesterday he had…corrupted.

Memories flashed in his mind of turning into a giant pink beast, fighting against the Crystal Gems and the Diamonds, and the sorrow he felt after turning back. He couldn’t remember much afterwards since he had passed out from both exhaustion and sheer emotional overload. He was grateful to his friends and family after knowing how much they cared, but he still couldn’t help but blame himself for what happened and all the heartache he had put everyone through because he just couldn’t accept that he wasn’t needed anymore.

How was everyone doing after all the trouble they had to go through just to turn him back to normal? The Cluster went back into its bubble, Spinel and the Diamonds went back to Homeworld, and Lapis, Peridot, and Bismuth went back to Little Homeworld.

Though he was no longer in the grip of his monstrous form, he still felt like he wasn’t completely himself, that a part of him was missing. After throwing what he could only describe as the biggest temper tantrum in all of Beach City yesterday, the only thing he could wonder was what he was going to say to everyone.

Once he steeled his nerves, Steven stood up from bed and got dressed. As he began his walk down the stairs, he could hear the sounds of familiar chatter. He noticed Garnet and Pearl standing in the living room conversing with each other, Amethyst leaning back in one of the kitchen chairs as she watched Greg cook at the stove, explaining the delicious scent that did little to soothe his troubled mind.

Upon noticing Steven, they immediately stopped their activities and turned to him with warm comforting smiles. “Good morning, Steven.” Garnet greeted with a smile.

Amethyst waved. “Sup, dude.”

“I made you a breakfast omelet. Just the way you like it.” Greg stated with a hopeful smile on his face.

Steven just stared at everyone. He could tell that the gems and his father were trying their best to act normally, but Steven could sense the underlying tension and concern in the air. They wanted to help him, to make him feel safe and loved, but he couldn't bring himself to respond.

Pearl took the opportunity to ask, “How did you sleep?”

Before he had the chance to answer, Steven’s eyes caught sight of a giant hole in the front of the house, which had been covered by a large tarp. He remembered the reason why the front part of their house was missing. It had been destroyed by the monster he had turned into. It was his fault that all of this happened. Steven’s eyes widened in horror as he felt a pain in his chest that nearly caused him to start hyperventilating. Greg and the gems immediately noticed his panic and reacted.

“Uh oh.” Amethyst muttered as she sprung from her seat.

“Steven!” Pearl rushed over to Steven and held him in a gentle embrace to calm him down. “It’s okay. Bismuth said she would come over and repair the damage.”

Steven felt himself starting to calm down. He glanced at the floor to keep himself from looking at the damage he caused from his transformation, until he noticed Garnet approaching him.

“Everything is fine, Steven. You needn’t worry.” She assured him with a smile. “Now come sit down and eat.”

Steven appeared uncertain as he stepped out of Pearl’s embrace, but ultimately nodded his head before walking over to the table.

Greg set down the plate with the omelet and toast next to a glass of orange juice. Without a word, Steven sat down and grabbed his utensils as he started eating. He couldn’t help but notice his dad and the gems staring at him with hopeful smiles as he ate. It was almost disturbing.

“How is it, Steven?” Pearl asked.

Since he was chewing, Steven just gave a quick nod.

After another bout of awkward silence, Amethyst tried to look excited as she suggested, “Hey, you know, maybe later we can go to the Big Donut or hit the boardwalk. Just like old times, huh Steven?”

Steven appeared to ponder for a moment. While the idea seemed nice, he just didn’t feel in the mood to go anywhere. With a somber frown, Steven just shook his head.

Amethyst felt a bit disheartened until Garnet decided to try cheering up Steven. “If you’d like, we can order pizza for lunch later. We can even watch a movie of your choice while we eat.”

Steven still appeared hollow as he mechanically picked at his omelet. While he had no trouble eating, he felt a lump in his throat that refused to dissolve, and his heart ached when it prevented him from speaking. He simply shook his head again in response.

The gems shared a look of concern over Steven’s lack of enthusiasm and verbal response. They had expected him to still feel troubled about everything that happened, but they never thought it would be so severe that Steven would refuse to spend time with them or even speak to them.

Seeing his struggle, Greg sighed and sat next to Steven, placing a hand on his shoulder as he spoke in a comforting voice, “It’s okay, Steven. You don’t have to say anything right now. Just know that we’re here for you whenever you’re ready.” Steven’s heart warmed slightly at their compassion. “And you know, I still have the number for that therapist Dr. Maheswaran recommended. If you feel like that’s something you’d like to try, we can give them a call and set up an appointment for you.”

Steven stared at the warm reassuring smiles his family gave him, but still could not form any kind of verbal expression to show his appreciation. All he could muster was a sad smile and a nod of his head.

While the gems cleaned up the breakfast dishes, Steven decided to take some time to himself and head outside to clear his head. The fresh breeze of the salty sea air usually brought him some comfort, but it instead just felt numb against his body. With his hands in his pockets, he walked down the steps to the beach.

Now that he was outside, Steven could see the full extent of the damage inflicted on the house. As he stared, his eyes widened in horror as he recalled the memory of when he turned into that…thing. Steven’s eyes shut and his breath hitched as he wrapped his arms around himself, recalling how much anguish he felt the entire time, how he fought against his friends and family, how he could’ve hurt them or anyone else. He just wanted to scream, but the lump in his throat prevented him from letting out any kind of sound.

“Steven!”

The half-gem’s eyes widened, and his thought process was broken when he heard the familiar voice cry out his name. He turned around to see his best friend/girlfriend, Connie, approach him.

She embraced him with a warm smile. “I was so worried about you. I came over here as soon as I could. How are you feeling?”

She pulled away to see Steven with a sad frown as he looked at her. He wanted to tell her the truth. How much everything that had happened to him yesterday was bothering him. How he could not stop feeling guilty about everything he did and what he put everyone through. He opened his mouth to speak…but no words came out.

Connie’s eyes widened in concern. “Steven?”

Inside the house, the gems and Greg were in the middle of a discussion over Steven’s behavior this morning. “You think Steven’s mad at us?” Amethyst woefully suggested. “I mean, we are kinda the reason he corrupted.”

But Pearl was appalled at the idea. “Of course not. We helped turn him back to normal and we’ve been giving him all the care and attention he needs.”

Garnet stoically explained, “Steven is going through a lot right now. Being corrupted was not an easy thing for any of the gems in Little Homeworld to recover from, and it certainly won’t be easy for Steven.”

Amethyst and Pearl glanced at each other, silently agreeing that while Steven recovered physically, he still needed to recover mentally. Amethyst asked, “But how are we supposed to help him if he won’t even talk to us?”

Greg then interjected, “Look, I may not know how this gem corruption works, but I know that if Steven is still bothered by what happened, we shouldn’t push him to talk about it. We should just give him some space and let him come to us when he’s ready.”

Though reluctant, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl nodded in agreement that they should do what is best for Steven and wait until he was ready to talk. However, a wave of panic swept the house when Connie rushed inside, brushing past the tarp. “Guys!”

“Connie?” Pearl asked, until noticing how distressed she looked. “What is it?”

“It’s Steven…” Connie’s eyes brimmed with tears as she struggled to inform everyone of what she discovered. “I think…Steven’s lost his voice!”

Chapter Text

Despite Steven being the one who couldn’t speak, the gems were at a loss for words. They could not believe that even with Steven in front of them all morning just nodding and shaking his head to whatever question they asked him, they never stopped to think that there might have been some deeper explanation for it. The gems recalled how corruption had left some side-effects on the Little Homeworld gems such as markings and horns, which they noticed that Steven himself lacked, but they never thought of the possibility of corruption hindering one’s ability to speak. Even after promising that they would be more attentive to Steven and his needs, they failed to notice what had happened to him. They just wanted to kick themselves, but now wasn’t the time. Their main priority was Steven.

Everyone wondered when this even happened since Steven didn’t seem to have any issue speaking after being healed from corruption. They remembered him sounding a little hoarse, but his emotions were so heavy that day that he didn’t really say anything aside from apologizing for what he had done. They assured him he had nothing to be sorry for since it was their fault for making him feel like he had to carry the weight of their problems on his shoulders and promised that they were going to do more to help him.

Greg kneeled in front of Steven and checked his throat for any injuries that may have prevented him from talking. When he did not find anything, Greg tried to ask his son if he felt sick, if maybe the loss of his voice was because of a simple case of laryngitis. But the only answer Steven could give was a simple headshake and sagging shoulders. No one could tell if Steven was hiding his problems from them again or if he just couldn’t tell them what was wrong. 

Knowing that they were never going to find out the cause of Steven’s condition themselves, Connie decided to call her mother, Dr. Maheswaran. As soon as Connie told her about Steven, the doctor immediately drove over to the beach house with her medical bag in tow. While shocked over the damage to the house, especially remembering what Connie had told her, she immediately followed her daughter upstairs to Steven’s bedroom where she found him sitting on the bed with the gems standing on either side of him.

While Steven appeared fine, she could tell that something had changed in him since his last check-up. “Hello, Steven.” Dr. Maheswaran greeted with a comforting smile. “How are you feeling?”

Rather than attempt to answer, Steven just looked away with a sorrowful frown and shook his head.

Greg explained, “He’s been like this all morning. Could something have damaged his vocal cords?”

Dr. Maheswaran opened her medical bag and reached for her tools. “I’ll have to run a full examination to find out what’s wrong.” She turned to the young man. “Steven, I’m going to give you a check-up. Are you okay with me doing this with everyone present?”

At Steven’s nod, Dr. Maheswaran began her examination. She checked Steven’s blood pressure and pulse, which she noted both appeared normal. Following her instructions, Steven opened his mouth wide while she used a tongue depressor and flashlight to examine the inside of his mouth. Afterwards, she tilted Steven’s head back and felt around his trachea for any abnormal findings. Lastly, she used her stethoscope to listen to Steven’s lungs.

Once she was finished, Dr. Maheswaran turned to the group who were anxiously awaiting the diagnosis.

In a calm steady voice, Dr. Maheswaran explained, “Steven is fine physically. There appears to be no damage to his larynx. But he has indeed lost his ability to speak.”

Everyone gasped in disbelief and horror. If Steven wasn’t hurt or sick, then how was it that he could no longer speak?

Desperate for a solution, Amethyst asked, “Well, can’t you just give him something to make him better?”

Doing her best to remain composed, Dr. Maheswaran further explained, “I’m afraid it’s not that simple. What Steven is experiencing is psychological. With all the stress and trauma he’s endured as of late, it appears that the shock of it all has rendered him mute.”

As he listened to Dr. Maheswaran explain his condition to his family, Steven hugged his knees as he looked away in shame. He wanted to apologize for making them worry, assure them that he would be fine. But no matter how hard he tried, his words just wouldn’t move past his throat.

His family looked at him, hearts heavy with sorrow. The once vibrant and articulate Steven could no longer express himself verbally. He had always been the voice for all of them, the one whose comforting words always got them through even the toughest of missions and even made their days a little brighter. But now, he was sitting there completely silent.

“Oh, Steven…” Garnet muttered in quiet despair.

Connie covered her mouth; her eyes widened with shock and horror. She had always believed in Steven's strength and resilience, but seeing him so vulnerable felt heart-wrenching.

Greg, however, could not bear the thought of never hearing his son's voice again. His plea to Dr. Maheswaran was filled with desperation, seeking any kind of solution to restore Steven's speech. “Please, Doc. Is there anything we can do?”

Dr. Maheswaran looked at the father with sympathy. Though she had experience with delivering distressing medical diagnostics to the families of her patients, this moment felt different. She knew Steven and how much of an impact his words had on his family and the genuine connection he had with all of them, and she knew from his last appointment how much he had been struggling with both his powers and emotions after everything he had been through the past three years. While she was genuinely saddened to see the state of the kind and lively young man and the sadness it brought his family and her daughter, she did her best to remain professional and give them whatever help she could offer.

“I’m certain this is only temporary.” She assured with a soft smile. “With a calming environment, unwavering family support, and even therapy, it can help him come to terms with his feelings and make peace with everything he's been through; and in time, his voice should return.”

Hearing this gave everyone a glimmer of hope. The optimistic Pearl clasped her hands together as she smiled. “That’s wonderful.”

Amethyst excitedly asked, “How long do you think it’ll take.”

However, their initial excitement was hampered when Dr. Maheswaran solemnly answered, “That would be entirely up to Steven. A condition like this could take weeks, months, or even years to recover from.”

While they understood that Steven would need time to process his emotions in order to move past his issues, this revelation left a bittersweet feeling in everyone’s minds. Steven’s words had always been a guiding light and a source of encouragement and joy. Hearing that it could be a long time until Steven could talk, laugh, sing, or inspire filled everyone with a sense of dread.

“Thanks, Doc.” Greg somberly spoke as he tried to push back his own despair. “I’ll walk you out.”

As they walked towards the stairs, Greg's mind drifted back to the last conversation he had with his son. “Steven, you’re a gem! You’re not like other kids!” he flinched as he realized those words might have made Steven feel alienated, as if he wasn’t human enough for a normal upbringing. Greg's chest tightened with guilt, acknowledging that he had never truly understood what Steven really wanted. His son’s transformation into a monster was a manifestation of the internal turmoil he'd been grappling with- turmoil that Greg had inadvertently contributed to. He had always wanted Steven to feel like he could talk to him about anything. But now, he couldn't talk at all.

He paused at the door, looking back towards the room where his son sat. Yesterday, he had promised Steven that whatever he wanted, he would make it happen, and he was determined to keep that promise, even if Steven couldn’t voice his wishes.

Steven just sat on the edge of his bed with his head hung in sorrow. If he had felt useless before, now he felt like a complete burden. It was thanks to his efforts to try and be helpful again in order to make up for his recent mistakes that he corrupted into a monster and was now rendered mute. Just hearing that it would be a long time before he could talk to any of his friends and family again just piled on the guilt he was feeling from everything he had done. He didn’t even have to say anything, and yet he continued to make everything worse. His face scrunched up and his eyes brimmed with tears until he suddenly felt someone touch his hand.

His eyes widened and he looked up to see Connie beside him, taking his hand in hers. “Steven,” she warmly said. “We'll be here for you, no matter how long it takes. You're not alone in this.”

Steven began to open his mouth, hoping that words would emerge until Garnet held a hand in front of his face and leaned forward with a smile. “No need to say anything, Steven. Your voice has always been a beacon of light to guide us through the dark. Now let us use our voices to guide you.”

“That’s right.” Pearl encouraged as she wrapped her arms around Steven. “And there are plenty of other forms of communication you can use until you get your voice back.”

Laughing, Amethyst pulled Steven into a hug while she joked, “And by that point, you’ll be a master at charades.”

While at the center of a group hug, Steven found himself smiling at everyone’s attempts to show their love and support. It made him remember their kind words that snapped him out of his monstrous state. Though the guilt and trauma lingered in his mind and prevented him from voicing his appreciation, he began to think that being mute would not be so bad after all. What he couldn’t say wouldn’t hurt anybody.

Chapter Text

Despite his diagnosis of mutism, Steven appeared to be in better spirits than he was earlier while everyone else was still bothered by the sight of Steven being present, but in complete silence. Steven thought back to recent moments in his life that were made worse by him talking such as yelling at Pearl and Volleyball, his interactions with the Rose Quartzes, venting to Cactus Steven, and arguing with his father in the van. Now he couldn’t talk at all and that meant he would cause less problems.

His joy was slightly hampered when he noticed that his phone had been blowing up with calls and texts from everyone in Beach City wanting to know if they were safe from the “monster”. Steven began to feel so upset by the trouble he caused that he couldn’t even respond by text. Thankfully, Greg noticed what was wrong and assured his son that he would talk to the mayor and let her know what was going on. Steven was appreciative and nodded his head while feeling that it confirmed his mutism meant that his troubles were over, and it meant that he could no longer worry about saying the wrong thing.

So, why wasn't he happy?

While the gems went to Little Homeworld to notify Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis about Steven’s condition, Connie noticed his conflicted feelings and reminded him that everything would be okay, and that she would be by his side to help him through this. Steven’s mood brightened as he nodded his head. Eventually, Connie had to go home, but promised to be back the next day, to which Steven nodded again as he smiled. Not only would he not have to worry about messing anything up, but he was finally spending time with Connie again just like he wanted. But his smile once again began to falter.

Why couldn't he be happy?

The next morning when Steven had woken up, he came downstairs and greeted Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Greg with a wave, signifying that his voice had still not returned.

“Good morning, Steven.” Pearl greeted with a smile.

Garnet smiled as well as she greeted, “Yes, good morning.”

“Hey, Steven.” Amethyst greeted while playfully elbowing him. “Cat still got your tongue?”

Looking slightly embarrassed, Steven rubbed the back of his head as he awkwardly smiled. He appreciated Amethyst’s attempt to lighten the mood regarding his condition.

Greg immediately walked over and checked on him, “So, how are you feeling today, Schtu-ball?”

He had his family around to once again greet him this morning. Steven felt like things were finally going his way. While he couldn’t greet them back, he felt that losing his voice was a small price to pay for having the peaceful stress-free never changing level of comfort he wanted. After all, some people go their whole lives not being able to speak and they live normally, so why couldn’t he do the same for now? Steven smiled at everyone as he nodded his head.

“I’m guessing that means he’s fine.” Amethyst said with a shrug.

Greg, however, frowned as he recalled hearing his son say those words even though he was clearly struggling. He knew that his son was still struggling, even without him being able to say a single word. “Are you sure, Steven?” he cautiously asked. “You know, you can talk to me.”

Greg quickly realized his poor choice of words, until Garnet thankfully stepped in. “We know you can’t vocalize your feelings right now, but that doesn’t mean you can’t come to us whenever something’s bothering you.”

With a playful smirk, Amethyst added, “If you don’t agree, just say so.”

“Amethyst!” Pearl snapped, not finding any humor in the joke.

But Steven just sheepishly grinned as he waved his hands to calm Pearl down. He was slightly amused at seeing his family worry so much about him. While he couldn’t blame them since he had turned into a giant pink beast a couple days ago, that was only because he was truly struggling with everything that was going on. But now he was better…right? Steven gave the “OK” sign.

Greg and the gems still did not believe Steven when he continued to assure them that he was doing fine, but decided not to push him to tell the truth.

“Okay, then.” Greg shrugged, then asked, “So, Schtu-ball, what would you like for breakfast?”

Steven quickly thought it over and looked at Pearl while making a small circular motion with his index finger. Pearl looked confused as she tried to guess what Steven was telling her. “Uhhh…something round?”

Greg guessed, “Do you want bagels?”

Steven frowned as he shook his head. He couldn’t talk anymore, so now he had to rely on his charade skills- which were a bit lacking. He acted like he was pouring ingredients into a bowl and mixing them together.

“Pour!” Greg shouted. “Milk!

“Eggs!” Amethyst looked like she understood and quickly pointed while shouting, “Ooh, he wants eggs!”

“Of course that’s not right.” Pearl insisted, “He clearly wants waffles.”

“French toast.” Garnet stoically guessed as well.

Steven waved his hands out and tried to simplify his desire by acting like he was holding something out and moving his wrist up and down like he was flipping something in front of him.

But Amethyst looked confused. “Uhh, you wanna paint something?”

Pearl enthusiastically guessed, “He wants to paint a picture of what he wants for breakfast.”

Greg looked confused as he shrugged. “I was thinking more like frying something.”

“You want to fry something for breakfast.” Garnet guessed again.

Steven gritted his teeth in frustration as he used his other hand to pretend that he was holding a spatula that he used to flip something over a surface.

Greg scratched his head as he pondered. “Uhh, flip…something on a pan.” Greg’s eyes widened as he realized, “Pancakes!”

Grinning, Steven pointed at Greg. Then he acted like he was holding something in one hand, and using his other hand to pour something into it.

“You want…syrup on your pancakes.” Pearl guessed.

“He wants cereal with his pancakes.” Amethyst guessed as well.

Frowning, Steven moved his hands into an X motion, and then mimed that he was drinking something.

The stoic Garnet realized. “Coffee.”

Steven grinned again and pointed at Garnet while nodding.

Everyone smiled in satisfaction now that they knew Steven’s desires. Pearl cheerfully replied, “Yes, of course, Steven. We’ll get that for you right away.”

Pearl, Amethyst, and Greg set to work in the kitchen, determined to make the perfect breakfast for Steven. The silent half-gem waited at the table, smiling as he appreciated all the effort they were going through for him. This was what he wanted, his family together with him, nothing tearing them apart. He suddenly frowned when something crossed his mind. He stood up and waved his hands in the air to get their attention.

Amethyst was the first to notice. “Whuh oh, guys. I think Steven wants something.”

When Steven had the attention of his family, he pointed at everyone with one hand and pointed to the outside with the other. Greg looked confused for a moment as he tried to figure out what his son was trying to tell him. “You…wanna go somewhere?”

But Pearl pointed out, “You can’t go anywhere without eating first.”

Looking a bit frustrated, Steven shook his head and pointed at Greg, and then mimed that he was turning a steering wheel. “Me…drive…car?” Greg slowly guessed.

Amethyst smiled widely as she slammed her fist into her palm. “Oh, I get it. He wants you to go somewhere.” Steven then pointed to the gems, which confused the purple gem. “And I guess he wants us to go too.”

Garnet assumed. “Perhaps he wants us to take him somewhere.”

Pearl asked in a loud voice, “Steven, where do you want to go?”

Scowling in frustration, Steven gestured to himself while shaking his head. He pointed to Greg and acted like he was wiping down a surface, then pointed to the gems, and then at the warp pad.

Garnet stoically guessed, “You…want us to clean the warp pad.”

A confused Pearl mentioned, “But I already did that a week ago.”

Steven facepalmed as he realized how poorly this game of charades was going. Okay, maybe there were some downsides to not being able to speak.

Finally, Amethyst threw her hands in the air. “Ugh! This is taking way too long.” She walked to the counter and pulled something out of the drawer. She walked back to Steven and handed him a pen and notepad. “Here, this will save us a lot of trouble.”

Steven stared at the items and felt a wave of relief as he now had a clearer way of communicating with everyone. Afterwards, he started to scribble on the notepad while the others waited in anticipation. Steven tore the note off and handed it to Pearl as they all gathered around her to read the note: “What about the car wash and Little Homeschool?”

They all glanced back at Steven, who just stared at them with a look of dread as they assumed maybe Steven was worried that he was keeping them from teaching at Little Homeschool and working at the car wash. They did not want Steven to feel like he was a burden to them. They wanted him to know that he mattered. 

Pearl gently assured, “Oh, don’t worry about that, Steven. We’re perfectly fine staying here and helping you.”

With a smile, Garnet explained, “Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis agreed that they would take care of the classes at Little Homeschool for the time being.”

“Yeah, man.” Amethyst assured. “So, don’t worry about it.”

Greg then placed a hand on his son’s shoulder. “And don’t worry about me. I’m rich, so I can afford to reduce my work hours. I want you to be able to come to me for anything, even if it’s about gem stuff. I’m not gonna shy away from that anymore and it was wrong of me to do so in the first place. I want you to know that, as your dad, I’m here for you no matter what.”

Steven smiled warmly as he nodded while trying as hard as he could to hold back the tears that threatened to escape his eyes.

He stood there and watched as the gems got back to work on preparing his breakfast. His dad now wanted to be around more often regardless if there was gem stuff involved. The gems were now choosing to spend time with him rather than focusing on their duties. It was something else he’d always wanted when he was younger since he could remember spending so much time by himself while he waited for the gems to return from their missions and his dad chose to stay in his van at the car wash as to not get in their way. Now his dad and the gems were together, and they were spending time with him.

So, why was he still not happy?

After he had finished breakfast and the gems cleared his dishes, Connie came over and greeted him with a hug. As she held his hands, Connie asked, “Hey, Steven, how are you feeling?”

Steven let go of Connie’s hands and scribbled a quick reply before tearing off the note and handing it to Connie. She only saw one word: “Fine.”

She felt her heart ache as she too did not believe his simple reply and could tell from his hastily written note and fake smile that he may have been hiding his internal struggle that he did not want to burden her with just like before. She wanted to confront him about it, but knew that now was neither the time nor place. All Connie could do right now was force a weak smile on her face as she looked up at half-gem. “Wow, Steven, it’s nice that you found a way to communicate.”

Not noticing her discomfort, Steven simply smiled and shrugged.

“Why don’t we go up to your room and I can show you all the stuff I learned?”

Pearl clapped her hands together. “That sounds wonderful, Connie. We’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”

Greg placed a hand on Steven’s shoulder. “I’m gonna pick up some groceries. Just call if you need anything…or better yet, text.”

As they made their way to Steven’s room, Connie’s mind raced with thoughts of how to best support her partner. She wanted to help Steven find his voice again and had spent many hours last night researching different techniques that might prove beneficial until her mom told her to go to bed.

Once they had settled on Steven’s bed, Connie handed him a stack of printouts she had gathered. “I found some information that might help.” She said, her voice filled with hope. “There are various techniques and exercises that can be beneficial for overcoming mutism.”

He looked at the cover of one of the pamphlets which read ‘Signs for Silence’. Another one read ‘Living with Mutism’. He curiously opened one of them that read ‘Techniques for Treating Traumatic Mutism’.

“I thought we could look over them together and see what might work best for you.” Connie eagerly suggested. She then pulled out a small notebook. “I also read that journaling your thoughts is a great way to relieve stress and improve your physical and mental health. You can write down stuff that’s happened or whatever you’re thinking.”

She waited for Steven’s reaction as he stared down at the black and white notebook lying on his bed in front of him. He placed a hand on the cover as if lost in thought at the idea of writing down his innermost thoughts and feelings. Finally, he grabbed his pen and notepad and scribbled down a quick message before handing it to Connie with a smile of gratitude. She took the note and read the message: “Thank you Connie. I appreciate it.”

Connie smiled in return. “It’s no problem, Steven.” She then spoke in a tender voice, “Just remember, this doesn’t mean you still can’t talk to me about stuff. You can come to me for anything, especially if something’s bothering you.”

Steven’s heart sank as he listened to her earnest words- the same words he’d been hearing all morning from his dad and the gems. But this was what he wanted. Connie by his side just like before. His dad and the gems made it clear that they weren’t going to leave him. But what about her?

He scribbled down another quick note and handed it to Connie, expressing his concern. “What about school? And studying for your entrance exams?”

Connie read his words and looked at him with unwavering determination. “Don’t worry about that, Steven. I want to help you be able to speak again, no matter how long it takes,” she assured him as she locked her arm around his. “You matter to me too.” She smiled warmly, laying her head on his shoulder. “Let’s take this one step at a time. We’ll get through it together.”

Steven nodded as he smiled, but it quickly faded into one of confusion and sadness. It was thanks to losing his voice that he gained the closeness and support of his friends and family who were no longer leaving him behind, and yet, he couldn’t understand why he still felt unsatisfied. Was it because he could no longer talk to them? Was it because he could no longer be helpful? Was it because he was feeling tremendous guilt for how he acted and turned into a giant monster all because he couldn’t handle all the changes in his life?

As she laid against Steven, her eyes widened when she could feel his body trembling in her grasp and started to hear his breathing become heavy as well. She became worried. “Steven?”

He ignored her as his mind was a battlefield of thoughts, and he struggled to comprehend the depths of his emotions. As he reflected on how spending time with Connie, the gems, and his dad was what he had always wanted, he couldn’t shake the confusion that clouded his happiness. He had all the people he loved back in his life, no changes to threaten it. So why was he still feeling an ache in his chest?

In a slight panic, Connie quickly moved in front of him and grasped his shoulders. “Steven, what’s wrong? You can tell me.”

He finally shook out of his daze and noticed Connie staring directly at him with concern in her eyes.

As he tried to keep his troubled emotions from slipping out, Steven reached into his pocket and pulled out a note that he handed to Connie with the words “I’m fine” scribbled on it. Connie read it and sighed, disappointed to learn that Steven already had pre-written notes with those words at the ready in case someone asked him such a question.

“Remember, Steven,” she said softly, “You can always come to me if anything’s wrong.”

With slight remorse, Steven looked away and nodded.

Chapter Text

Steven noticed that since he couldn’t talk, he did a lot more thinking. As he paced the floor of his room, his mind was swarming with thoughts that had been plaguing him since he lost his voice.  He had Connie, the gems, and his dad close to him again. He was no longer being left behind, he couldn’t say the wrong thing or hurt anyone, so why was he not happy?

Clutching his hair, Steven gritted his teeth as he tried to untangle the knot of emotions inside him. He tried to solve this problem that was stopping him from enjoying the happy life he now had, but the only possibilities were that being mute meant he could no longer communicate with his loved ones on a verbal level, or he was still feeling guilty for all the trouble he had caused that led to his corruption. But that couldn’t be it, given that everyone already forgave him, and while his mutism was definitely a source of unease for those who knew him, it kept him from accidentally saying the wrong thing and made his friends and family want to spend time with him, so he couldn’t have been unhappy about that.

So, what was it?

Suddenly, it hit him. Steven stopped in place and slammed his fist into the palm of his hand. His friends and family were spending time with him so they could help him in his time of need- and yet, he couldn’t do the same thing. Thinking back, this whole mess started because he was no longer helpful. Everything was peaceful, no one had any more problems, his whole purpose was gone. Then, when he tried to be helpful again, he just made everything worse and it led to him becoming a monster, and then a mute. 

Now, he couldn’t help anyone, and instead everyone needed to help him. He was just one big burden now, and that’s why he couldn’t be happy even when he had everything he wanted. Steven clenched his fists tightly as he resolved to turn things around. He wasn’t going to let his silence stop him from living his life the way he was supposed to. But how? His body tensed in anger and frustration as he mulled over this question.

But when he caught his reflection in the cracked glass door, he noticed something that made his heart nearly stop. His body was glowing pink per usual whenever he was stressed lately. But that didn’t stop him from remembering every horrible thing that he did the last couple of times he turned pink…right before he corrupted. Steven clenched his eyes shut and gritted his teeth when everything began to overwhelm him until he noticed the glass door shattered to pieces. Steven gasped as he covered his mouth. He couldn’t believe he was still capable of destroying things with his powers. He had to fix himself and fast. He had to prove that he was still helpful.

Suddenly, the sound of the warp pad activating echoed from downstairs. Steven quickly took a deep breath and made his pink glow disappear before quietly walking downstairs. He heard the voices of Garnet and Pearl greeting Bismuth, who had arrived to start repairs on the house. He also noticed that Lapis and Peridot were accompanying her.

As they stepped off the warp pad, Bismuth greeted, “Hey, guys. Hope you haven’t been waiting long.”

Peridot remarked. “As you can well imagine, we’ve been so busy with Little Homeschool, we thought we could use a break.”

With a playful grin, Bismuth scoffed. “Excuse me. I thought the point of you coming was to assist with the repairs.”

“Yeah, that too.” Peridot casually shrugged. “Even if it does have the added bonus of seeing…”

The moment they spot Steven approaching, their smiles grew wide. “Steven!”

In their excitement, Lapis and Peridot immediately rushed over to Steven.

“Are you doing okay?” Lapis asked with concern in her voice.

“We’ve been so worried.” Peridot added with a tearful smile.

Bismuth approached Steven as well. “We haven’t seen you since…” her tone dropped as she looked away in embarrassment. However, much to her dismay, Peridot finished her sentence.

“Since you turned into a giant pink monster and made everyone sad.”

Lapis shot Peridot a sharp glare while Bismuth tried to diffuse the awkwardness. “Anyway, how are you doing, Steven?”

With a rather weak smile, Steven shrugged and nodded his head.

The vibrant demeanors of all three gems began to falter as they stared at him. Garnet and Pearl had already informed them about Steven’s condition, but seeing him like this left them in shock and sorrow. For Bismuth, it was Steven’s kind words that pierced her rough exterior and inspired her to be the gem she is today.

“You really can’t speak at all?” Lapis quietly spoke as her hands started to tremble, recalling how after spending thousands of years trapped in a mirror, Steven’s voice was the first comforting thing she heard when he spoke to her as a friend and not as a tool.

Peridot also looked similarly distraught. Steven was the one she often talked about Camp Pining Hearts with and the one whose patient and thoughtful words taught her the joys of living on Earth as a free gem rather than being just another servant of Homeworld. “But how can someone’s voice just disappear?”

Lapis then frantically leaned over to him. “Steven, do you need any help? If there’s anything you need, I’ll do it.”

Smiling awkwardly, Steven held up his hands and shook his head. He then reached into his jacket and pulled out his notepad. After writing a quick note, he tore it off and gave it to Lapis. Peridot and Bismuth leaned over to read the words: “It’s OK. I’ll be fine.”

Peridot looked at him quizzically. “You communicate with handwritten notes now?”

Pearl came between them and explained, “No need to worry about Steven. His voice will return eventually.”

While this was a relief to hear, Lapis still appeared skeptical. “But how long?”

Pearl struggled to come up with an answer, but Garnet beat her to it with a flat, “Undetermined.”

Steven looked away in disappointment when he felt the eyes of Peridot and Lapis looking at him with alarm upon learning that he wouldn’t be talking to them for a while if not a long time. However, Bismuth placed a hand on his shoulder while she smiled at him. “Well, whether you can talk or not, you still look like Steven to me.”

Steven himself returned her kind words with a small smile of appreciation. Peridot and Lapis also smiled in agreement, knowing that even if Steven could no longer talk to them, he was still the same Steven they had come to know and love.

Bismuth held up some blueprints. “I drew up some plans, so I can get this place looking as good as new.”

Garnet nodded in satisfaction before mentioning, “Greg and Amethyst should be arriving with more supplies soon.”

Bismuth nodded. “Alright. I’ll go ahead and get started.”

When Garnet went back into the temple and Pearl went into the kitchen, Bismuth started to head over to the front of the house with her supplies until Steven stopped her with a note he handed to her. 

Curious, the blacksmith took the note and read: “Sorry for the damage and that you have to fix it.”

Bismuth looked over at Steven to see him looking away with remorse etched on his face. However, the blacksmith just smiled and gently assured him. “Steven, you don’t have to apologize. Mistakes happen and it’s how we learn and grow. So, don’t worry about it.”

Steven grew a small smile at her reassurance, and then an idea hit him. A way for him to be helpful and make up for his past mistake. He followed Bismuth while writing down another note.

Peridot and Lapis were curious about what he was up to. “Steven?”

The half-gem handed the slip of paper to Bismuth, which read: “Think you can use some help?”

Bismuth looked back at Steven who had his hands behind his back and a hopeful smile on his face. She hesitated a bit, uncertain if it would be safe for Steven to help since he was still recovering from his corruption days ago. But before she could answer, Pearl called out from the kitchen.

“Steven! You should start getting ready for lunch! Bismuth is going to need space to work!”

Steven glowered at the ground. This was his chance to be helpful again and he still couldn’t even do that. As much as he appreciated Pearl and the others, he almost couldn’t stand their coddling of him. How was he ever going to feel right again if he wasn’t ever going to be given the chance to prove he could be helpful again?

Noticing his disappointment, Bismuth called back to Pearl, “Actually, Pearl, Steven is going to be my assistant.”

Hearing this made Steven brighten up immediately and a large grin moved across his face, though the others had reservations.

Lapis curiously approached, concerned about letting Steven help. “Assistant?”

Peridot was also uncertain about Steven’s ability to help with construction at the moment. “Are you certain someone who can’t vocalize can assist with something this strenuous?”

Pearl tried to weakly argue as well. “What? But…no, he shouldn’t be-”

Her attempts at arguing were interrupted by Bismuth. “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine. Never needed to talk while constructing anyways.”

Despite her reservations, Pearl knew that Bismuth would never let anything happen to Steven and that Lapis and Peridot would be nearby as well. “Okay. I’ll be right here if you need anything.”

Bismuth turned to Steven with a proud smirk. “Alright, Steven. You ready to get to Bismuth?”

With an excited grin, Steven nodded his head. Lapis and Peridot smiled at him as well, ready to help him in getting the job done.

The next hour went by quickly and much to everyone’s relief, things were going smoothly as Bismuth showed everyone the blueprints she made and explained what everyone needed to do. Lapis flew up and replaced the broken panes of glass in the windows. Peridot showed off by levitating some nails with her powers before handing them to Bismuth, and Steven held the planks of wood while Bismuth hammered the nails. Even though Steven couldn’t speak, Peridot and Lapis still conversed with him, and Bismuth offered him praise for all his hard work.

Soon, Greg drove up the beach in his van with more supplies, and Steven eagerly rushed down to greet him and Amethyst. Even though Amethyst was prepared to carry the large stacks of wood upstairs, Steven insisted on doing it. Lapis went to replace the glass in the upstairs sliding door, though upon noticing that the glass was shattered, she had to get a broom to sweep it up. Peridot went downstairs to get a view of how the house looked so far. Pearl brought Steven some lemonade and he set the wood down so he could quench his thirst. Steven couldn’t believe that after everything that had happened recently, he was finally doing something good. He was helpful again. He was no longer a burden. Everything felt perfect. So that must’ve meant he was finally happy.

But…he wasn’t. He and his friends were working together to complete a task, he was proving that he could still be helpful and less of a burden, he was amending for the damage he caused, but his conflicted feelings hadn’t changed. Steven’s smile slowly faded as these thoughts circled his mind. Why was he still not happy? Not knowing the answer gave Steven a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. He gripped the area where his gem was, wondering if this feeling he was having really was feelings of guilt, or if it was fear. Fear because of what had happened, or fear from what was going to happen.

His internal struggle caused Steven to glow pink again and cracks to form on the wooden floor beneath his feet and spread out. The fissures reached the stack of wood that sat near the edge of the porch and the floor beneath it suddenly broke apart. Steven quickly noticed what he had done and lunged forward, grabbing at the falling pile and managing to hold onto most of the planks with his arms. However, he noticed a few planks slipping out of his grasp when he couldn’t get a steady hold on them. His heart raced and beads of sweat formed on his brow from the strain. He frantically glanced toward Bismuth, who was still hammering with her back turned, oblivious to the danger. Steven's lack of voice left him unable to get her attention.

As his grip faltered, a few planks slipped from his hands and tumbled over the edge. Steven froze in horror and the pink glow faded when he heard Peridot shout in alarm.

In panic, Steven dropped the wood onto the porch and rushed downstairs. Hearing the commotion, Bismuth finally turned around and noticed her assistant was gone. “Steven?”

Steven rushed to find Peridot standing next to the two wooden boards that fell from the porch. She looked unharmed, meaning that the wood missed her by a few inches and she just yelled out in startle.

“Steven, what the heck is all this?” Peridot asked in dismay. “These wooden boards just rained down and almost struck me.”

Amethyst walked over when she noticed the commotion. “Yeesh, what happened here?”

A frantic Steven reached into his jacket and was about to write an apology note, explaining what he did until he heard Bismuth call him front the porch. “Steven!”

Pearl also rushed out to join Bismuth. “Is everything alright?”

Suddenly, Steven’s eyes widened when he noticed more wood about to fall off the porch thanks to how he improperly placed them moments ago. Steven tried to bring attention to it by desperately pointing up. But Bismuth and Pearl failed to notice what exactly he was pointing to.

“What is it, Steven?” Bismuth asked in concern.

They noticed too little too late when more piles of wood slid off the porch and fell towards him, Peridot, and Amethyst. Steven quickly spread his hands out to summon his bubble, but he was horrified when nothing happened. 

Suddenly, Garnet rushed over and swiftly knocked the boards away in one quick swipe of both hands. Peridot and Amethyst looked amazed by Garnet’s quick action, but Steven just looked dazed. He was snapped out of it when Bismuth and Pearl rushed over, and the latter gently shook him by the shoulders.

“Steven, are you okay?” Pearl frantically asked. “That was so close.”

After seeing what happened, Lapis flew down and joined everyone in checking on Steven after seeing the accident. “How did that all happen?”

The silent half-gem ignored their questions as he took a couple steps back. He raised his hands again in a desperate attempt to summon his protective bubble, but nothing happened. Panic grew on his face as he swung his hand out like he would to summon his shield. But while his shield appeared, it quickly flickered out of existence. He lifted his shirt to see his gem still present in his navel, nothing looked unusual about it.

The horrifying realization appeared to hit everyone at once. “Steven…” Amethyst cautiously spoke. “Are your gem powers…not working?”

Putting his shirt back down, Steven looked at Amethyst with tears brimming in his eyes. Just like his voice, he couldn’t get his gem powers to work. If he could summon his bubble or shield, he could have protected Peridot and Amethyst. If he could have just shouted a warning, he could have prevented the accident all together. His inability to speak, coupled with his failing gem powers, seemed to confirm his deepest fears: he was useless. More useless than ever before.

The gems quickly picked up on Steven’s distress. Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst exchanged alarmed glances, and Lapis stepped closer, placing a comforting hand on his shoulders. “It’s okay, Steven.” She gently spoke. “None of this was your fault.”

“Yeah.” Peridot agreed with a smile. “These are just little accidents that can be undone.”

Despite the kind reassurance, Steven just brushed past the gems and ran up the steps to the porch. “Steven!” Lapis, Peridot, Amethyst, and Pearl shouted. But Steven did not look back and bolted straight into the house.

Bismuth sighed and exchanged a worried glance with the gems. “He’s really struggling, huh?” she muttered.

Pearl wrung her hands as she tried to choke back a sob over Steven’s worsening condition.

“What are we supposed to do now?” Amethyst asked.

No one seemed to have any answers until Garnet broke the silence. “I believe Steven needs more than just reassurance,” she said with calmness in her voice. “He needs to cope with his fears and feelings in a way he understands. I’ll try something that might help him.”

Pearl looked at her with curiosity. “Like what?”

Garnet adjusted her visor with an assuring smile. “Trust me.”

Chapter Text

After his failed attempt at helping Bismuth repair the house, Steven sat on his bed, hugging his legs tightly to his chest as he buried his face into his knees. His thoughts spiraled as he replayed the events that happened moments ago in his head. Not only did he mess up and nearly get Peridot and Amethyst hurt because he couldn’t speak, but his gem powers had also stopped working just like his voice. He felt more useless than ever, both in body and sound. Tears brimmed his tightly shut eyes, and his grip tightened around his legs.

He thought not being able to talk would make things better for everyone, including himself. But instead, it made things harder for him. He couldn’t enjoy having his friends and family by his side again, he couldn’t prove that he was still helpful, he couldn’t make up for all the terrible things he had done, and he couldn’t apologize for how much he was messing up now. If he could figure out why he was not feeling satisfied about everything, his voice might come back, and everything would go back to normal.

But…was that what he wanted?

His thought process was interrupted when he heard a soft knock, and he looked up to see Garnet standing in the doorway. “Steven. I’d like to come in if that’s alright.”

Steven wiped his eyes with his sleeve and nodded, all while keeping his gaze fixed on the floor as Garnet sat beside him.

“Steven,” Garnet gently began as she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “No one blames you for what happened. We know you’re going through a lot right now, and we just want you to feel at ease.”

Steven felt a bit calmer, but still refused to gaze up, even turning his head in the opposite direction.

“I think it’s time to try something that might help,” Garnet continued, her voice steady but warm. “It’s not a cure, but it’s a way to face what’s inside and begin to heal.”

Finally, Steven looked up at her. Unsure by what she meant, but hopeful that with her insight, there might be a chance that whatever the Crystal Gem leader had in mind, it could help him gain what he needed to feel like himself again.

“Follow me,” Garnet instructed before standing up and exiting the room. Steven quickly got up to follow her downstairs.

As they went outside to the front porch, Steven flinched a little as they walked past the place of his latest screw-up. The only one present was Bismuth, who was busy hammering nails into the boards against the walls of the house, and was so fixated on her work that she did not appear to notice Steven or Garnet as the two walked down to the beach.

When they reached the shore, the gentle sound of waves lapping against the sand filled the air. Garnet paused, her gaze fixed on the horizon as a soft breeze passed by, then turned to Steven with a calm but purposeful expression. “I thought this might be a good place for us to start. Sometimes when words fail, silence can help us understand what we’re feeling.”

Steven nodded in understanding, the tension in his body easing as he took in the calm surroundings. He realized that their purpose for coming out here was for Garnet to lead him in a meditation exercise. He didn’t mind since he remembered how good he felt the last time he tried this. In fact, a part of him clung to the hope that this exercise could bring him closer to reclaiming his voice.

Garnet gestured for Steven to sit on the warm sand. He followed her lead as she crossed her legs effortlessly and settled into a meditative pose.

“Close your eyes,” Garnet instructed, her hands resting in her lap, palms turned upward. Steven obeyed as he copied her posture. “Take a deep breath. And release it slowly.”

Steven inhaled deeply, the salty air filling his lungs, and then exhaled. He didn’t know if this would truly help, but the soothing tone of Garnet’s voice and the natural sounds around them gave him something he hadn’t felt in a while: peacefulness.

“Now focus,” Garnet continued. “Don’t think about what’s happened or what might come. Just listen…to my voice, to the ocean, relax yourself.”

Steven followed her instructions, letting the sound of the waves and the warmth of the sand carry him. A faint smile tugged at his lips as he realized that maybe, just maybe, this moment of stillness was exactly what he needed. His mind felt lighter, alleviated for the first time in weeks.

But as Steven settled deeper into meditation, he slowly opened his eyes to see a vast view of the entire ocean. The sky was darker, and he no longer felt calm or tranquil. He felt sad and scared, confused as to why he was feeling all these terrible emotions. He turned around to see his dad and the gems shouting at him with fear and concern on their faces. He couldn’t hear what they were saying because all he could think about was all the terrible things he had done, everything that made him a monster. He just wanted to banish these horrible memories from his mind. Running towards the hillside, he did the only thing he could think of and bashed his head against the hillside.

Leaning over the hill, he could now see the entirety of Beach City, including all the residents looking up at him with expressions of fear before running away, seeing him as the monster he truly was.

Steven silently gasped as he fell backwards. He was no longer on the beach, but in the mindscape; so unlike the one he had been in before. Everything around him was dark and the floor he was sitting on looked like a shattered mirror. Right above him was a large white butterfly, whose wings displayed what he was seeing just moments ago- his monstrous form on the beach trying to be restrained by Alexandrite and then chasing Bismuth and Peridot into the ocean. Steven couldn’t bear to witness it- how he had let his stress consume him and how much pain and grief he had caused everyone. Steven turned his back and covered his eyes, only to notice that his hands felt…off.

He slowly brought them out into view and saw that the front and back of his hands had pink splotches on them and his nails had been replaced with sharp claws. With a look of horrified realization, he crouched down and looked at his reflection in the cracked floor. His skin had pink splotches, there were horns protruding from his head and the edges of his mouth, the sclera of his right eye was black, and his pupil had been replaced with a small pink diamond. When he gasped, he could see some of his teeth had been replaced by fangs. He fell backwards in shock, his breath hitching as he scooted away, flinching when a swarm of white butterflies brushed past him. They swirled together right behind him until they took the form of someone that Steven backed into.

“Look at you.” Steven’s heart nearly stopped when he heard a voice he hadn’t heard in days- his own. 

He quickly scrambled to his feet and spun around to see the pink version of himself standing there with an emotionless frown. In utter shock, Steven quickly lifted his shirt to see that his gem was still present in his splotchy stomach, so he couldn’t understand how he was seeing his gem half in front of him.

“Corrupting yet again.” Pink Steven’s frown shifted into one of apathy as he stared at his human half. “I guess it only seems fitting. After all, monsters can’t speak.”

Steven’s eyes widened in horror at the careless statement made by his gem half. He could only shake his head as if trying to deny the idea that he could be corrupting again. 

“You’re really going to try and deny it now?” Pink Steven started slowly circling his human half as he stoically continued, “You remember crashing Dad’s van, don’t you? Trying to shatter White Diamond? Wrecking Little Homeworld in your attempts to be helpful. And let’s not forget, shattering Jasper.”

Each accusation hit Steven like a blow to the chest, forcing him to confront the memories he had playing in his head the whole time he was corrupted. His eyes brimmed with tears that he struggled to hold back while his gem half stopped directly in front of him.

“You deserved to be corrupted after all that.” Pink Steven rolled his eyes while his tone remained cold. “And frankly, it sounds like the better option, especially considering the way you are now.” He took a step forward, which made the terrified Steven take a step back. They did this with each statement Pink made. “You can’t speak, you can’t use your powers, and you’re not capable of helping anyone.” He stopped and his eyes narrowed. “You’re not even sure what you’re good for anymore.”

Pink Steven stared with his icy gaze as Steven looked away with tears streaming down his face, his arms wrapped around himself tightly and his claws digging into his skin as they pierced through the fabric of his jacket.

“But I guess it all worked out for you, didn’t it?” Steven looked back at his pink self with sudden curiosity at his statement. “Dad, Connie, and the gems- they’re all with you. They’ll never leave you again.” To Steven’s surprise, Pink Steven cracked a small smile. “You’re happy now, right?”

Steven opened his mouth as if to respond, but no words came out. He knew that would’ve been the case even if he could speak. It was the same question he had been asking himself all day. This was what he wanted. His friends and family constantly around him, the stability he always longed for, knowing that he was never alone. Now that he finally had it, why did it feel so hollow?

Pink Steven frowned when he noticed the conflicted emotions etched across his human half’s face. “You can’t even answer, can you?” Steven’s eyes widened in horror as his head jerked up to his gem half. “Are you terrified that the moment you open your mouth and speak, everyone will leave you and you’ll be all alone again?”

Steven’s face contorted in horror at this suggestion. Was that really the reason he couldn’t be happy about having his friends and family by his side again? It couldn’t be. He frantically shook his head, tears streaming down his face once again. But Pink Steven wasn’t done. He leaned uncomfortably close until their faces were just inches apart. “And yet, you still want to help them.” He continued, his tone icy and resentful. “Why, Steven? After all the times they ignored you and abandoned you, why would you sacrifice yourself for them? What have they ever given you in return?”

Pink Steven pulled back to let his words sink in. Steven’s eyes widened as memories flooded back to him. His sacrifices, his pain, the countless times he put others before himself. And now, here he was, fractured, voiceless, and still yearning to feel needed. Sure, Greg and the gems were trying their best to amend their past mistakes by being there for him now during his time of need, but what happens after he recovers? Will things go back to the way they were? Would they leave him behind so they could live their own lives? Did that make him a bad person for fearing that?

“Maybe it’s time for you to be selfish for once. Ask yourself, Steven, what is it that you truly want? Not as a monster, but as you.”

Unable to handle all this pressure being suddenly foisted upon him, Steven’s legs buckled beneath him, and he fell on his hands and knees, his sobs silent yet devastating. Pink Steven crouched in front of him, his expression a mix of pity and cold detachment. “Are you happy now? Tell me, Steven, what do you want?”

Steven tightly shut his eyes as the overwhelming weight of his conflicting emotions became too much to bear, not even noticing when Pink Steven vanished into a swarm of white butterflies. 

Tears welled in his eyes as he snapped them open and found himself back on the beach, the sun starting to go down just over the horizon, painting the sky a glowing shade of orange. His breathing was fast and heavy as he broke free of his meditative stance and immediately looked at his trembling hands that were clear of pink spots and claws. They ran from the top of his head down to his face, feeling the smoothness of his hair and skin, free of any horns. His panic started to settle down once he realized that he wasn’t actually corrupting again, but flinched when he felt someone grasp his shoulders. He looked up to see Garnet crouched in front of him.

“It’s okay, Steven.” Garnet spoke in a steady calm voice. “You’re here…you’re okay.”

Steven’s breathing slowed as Garnet’s hands remained on his shoulders. For a moment, they stayed like that, the crashing of waves filling the silence. “Steven,” she said softly, “What happened?”

Steven opened his mouth to speak, but he remained silent as usual. His lips quivered with frustration as he shook his head. He took out his notepad, but his hand with the pen trembled, trying to figure out how to even explain everything he had just experienced; the vision of himself, the questions that cut like shards of glass, the conflicting emotions that had unraveled him.

Garnet studied him carefully, her hands never leaving his shoulders. “You don’t have to explain it all now,” she reassured him. “Whatever it was, you can talk about it when you feel ready.”

Steven nodded as he felt himself calming down. Garnet stood up. “Let’s head back inside.”

As he began to walk, Steven quickly scribbled a note and rushed to catch up to Garnet so he could hand it to her. She took the note and silently read: “Can your future vision tell me when I’ll get my voice back?”

She looked away from the note to see Steven staring at her with anticipation. She adjusted her visor. “Yes.” She answered, causing Steven’s eyes to widen in surprise and relief, until Garnet continued, “I’ve seen multiple timelines where you regain your voice. Some sooner, some later.”

Steven frowned in disappointment as his shoulders hunched. He knew he would get no definite answer, but it didn’t bring him the reassurance he was hoping for. Noticing the distress her answer had brought him, Garnet placed her hand on top of Steven’s head. This made him look up to see her comforting smile. “But the important thing is that you don’t lose hope.”

Despite not feeling entirely reassured, Steven managed to smile as he nodded his head, feeling much calmer and more at peace than he was earlier. With that, the two began their walk back to the house. Despite the short distance, the walk felt like an eternity since all he could think about was the question that plagued his mind.

What did he want? 

Chapter Text

Over the next few days, things seemed to have taken a downward slide for Steven. What he originally thought was a blessing in disguise turned out to be more of a curse. Not being able to talk anymore brought him closer to his family, but he couldn’t have felt further away from them. Even though they talked to him and frequently checked on him to see how he was doing, he couldn’t respond, not even on paper. 

The worst part was he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened in the mindscape. He knew he was feeling guilty for what he put everyone through when he corrupted and that he couldn’t be helpful anymore, but he never thought his main source of unhappiness came from the fear that everyone would leave him again once he could speak.

He loved having Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and the others around, but he knew they couldn’t stay by his side forever. They had their own lives to get back to, and their desire to care for him and show that he mattered to them too was preventing them from moving on to bigger and better things. Steven also wanted to be able to talk again. To share his feelings with everyone, thank them for everything they’d done for him, and apologize for everything he put them through. But he had no idea how long it would be until he got his voice back. If the fear of everyone leaving him again as soon as he could talk was what was preventing him from talking, the thought that he was somehow keeping his voice from coming back just so he could keep everyone around him for a little longer made him disgusted with himself.

Even if his voice did come back and everyone wanted to continue moving on without him, he was left with the question of what he himself could do. He couldn’t go back to teaching. He couldn’t just stay at home. Nobody needed his help. He didn’t know what to do. Pink Steven’s question continuously rang in his head. “What do you want?”

He wanted to tell everyone how he was feeling. Maybe then his voice would return, he could make things right with everyone, and things could go back to normal. Was that what he wanted? It was so frustrating that it hurt too much, knowing that these feelings were trapped inside him along with his voice.

Unfortunately, his change in attitude did not go unnoticed by Greg and the gems. When either of them tried to talk to him or make a fun suggestion that might lift his spirits, he would just give them short written notes, some that he’d even pre-written with responses such as “I’m fine”, “No thanks”, “Maybe later”, “OK”, and the more ironic “Can’t talk now”. Not even Connie was spared from this. After the gems told her what happened during repairs, Connie tried to get him to talk to her about what was bothering him and assured him that one little mistake did not make him a bad person. But he would just give her sad headshakes and pre-written notes, disheartening her.

One morning, Steven stood on the porch as he leaned against the railing, looking out at the horizon. The ocean shimmered and its calm surface seemed to serve as a sharp contrast to the emotions that were swirling inside him. The same ones that have been haunting him for days. He looked down at his notepad, tapping the pen against the surface as if contemplating what to write.

He still wanted to tell his dad, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl everything that had been on his mind lately. His thoughts, his feelings, his fears, everything that had been bothering him lately. But without his voice, he was reduced to writing down everything he wanted to confess, which was much easier said than done. Writing down simple responses was one thing, but pouring out all his feelings onto paper without it coming off as too worrisome or childish was another.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the screen door opening and he turned his head to see Pearl stepping outside. “Steven,” she greeted in a cheerful voice. “Amethyst is fetching some donuts. She thought it might lift your spirits.”

Steven gave her a small smile as he nodded before scribbling down a quick reply. He handed the note to her, and she read the word, “Thanks.”

Pearl stared at the note for a few moments before putting it away and speaking gently to him, “You know, you can write down anything else that’s on your mind. No matter how long it is, I’ll read all of it.” She smiled sadly while adding, “After all, I know how it feels not being able to speak the things you wish to say.”

Steven glanced away as a frown pushed the corner of his mouth while he simply nodded. He turned away from Pearl until she retreated back into the house with resignation. Steven just looked at the blank page of the notepad. Part of him still wanted to keep everything to himself. To not burden everyone with his problems, to keep everyone he loved around him all the time and hope that eventually his voice and gem powers will return, and he’ll finally be happy again. But keeping everything to himself was what got him into this mess, and he was going to tell them how he felt and hope for the best. Since he couldn’t say it, he just needed the best way to write it.

Soon, Steven went back inside and sat at the coffee table with the journal Connie gave him. Greg, Garnet, and Pearl were in the kitchen discussing something, but he paid no attention to them. He thought his journal would be the best place to try and write down everything he wanted to say so he wouldn’t be wasting note paper- which ended up being the best option given how many times he thought he had something good only to cross it out and start again. Steven gripped his hair and gritted his teeth in frustration. He couldn’t understand why this was so hard. Was it just nerves, or was he truly incapable of saying what he wanted to say?

He was so absorbed in his struggle that he didn’t notice Amethyst set a small bag right next to his notebook. “Hey, Steven.” She playfully greeted while taking a seat on the couch next to him. She took a donut out of the bag. “Thought you could use one of these.”

She finally grabbed his attention when she waved the donut next to his face. Steven frowned a bit at the distraction while slowly shaking his head before directing focus back on his journal.

Despite the disappointment she was feeling, Amethyst was not deterred from trying to get Steven to lighten his mood and open up a bit. She then leaned in a bit to glance at the contents of Steven’s journal. “Whatcha working on? Anything cool?”

Steven winced as he quickly grabbed the journal and pressed it to his chest to keep her from seeing what he had written while shaking his head more fervently. Thankfully, Amethyst took the hint and realized she may have stepped over the line. “Okay, okay, I get it. Sorry.” She then slid the donut bag across the table to Steven. “But seriously, dude. Why not take a break and have a little snack?”

Steven hesitated a bit and briefly considered the offer. But as he thought about it more, he realized that the more time he wasted, he was never going to be rid of these invasive thoughts if he didn’t find a way to let them all out without the use of his voice. As much as he appreciated Amethyst’s kind offer, he just couldn’t stop to goof off as long as he had no way to voice his feelings. He reached into his pocket and handed Amethyst a folded note that would let her know he wouldn’t be joining her. She opened it and looked confused. “Uhhh, this says nothing on it.”

Steven looked at her with slight panic, thinking he had handed her a blank slip by mistake, until Amethyst showed him the note that had one word written in Steven’s handwriting: “Nothing”

Upon seeing his blunder, Steven’s face reddened. Not only could he not write down the right response to everyone’s questions, but now he couldn’t even give out the right response to what he’d already written to appease everyone when they asked him a question. It seemed like no matter what he did, he would always mess up- whether he was speaking or not. Steven’s face scrunched up as he stood and bolted upstairs.

Greg, Garnet, and Pearl immediately came over to the living room with concern on their faces when they noticed Steven’s behavior.

“What happened?” Pearl asked Amethyst.

The purple gem crumbled up the note and tossed it aside. “I wish I knew.”

Luckily, Greg stepped forward. “Why don’t I try talking to him?”

Everyone seemed to agree with this suggestion as Greg walked up the stairs. The gems heard the sound of the warp pad activating behind them, and they turned to see Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth appear.

“Steven!” Peridot excitedly called out while holding a small box overhead. “I have exciting news!”

However, things became awkward when they noticed that not only was Steven not present, but that there was the quiet sound of tension in the air. Garnet broke it when she calmly stated, “Now may not be the best time.”

Hearing this made Lapis immediately concerned for the half-gem. “What’s going on? Is Steven okay?”

Pearl was quick to reassure her. “Steven is fine. He’s just…having a difficult time processing everything that’s happened recently.”

“Oh, stars…It’s that bad, huh?” Bismuth sadly asked as she held her forehead, truly unnerved by how someone as brilliant and unshakable as Steven could be brought down after losing what she always considered to be Steven’s strongest weapon: his words.

Lapis held her arm as she gazed down, empathizing with Steven’s internal struggles. She knew what it was like to feel trapped. The feeling of not being able to express yourself. It was a suffocating experience.

Peridot also felt sorrow by this revelation. After all, Steven was the one who helped her when she was at her lowest. Knowing that Steven was in dire need of assistance, she was determined to return the favor. Clutching the box, Peridot narrowed her eyes. “Well, I have something that I know will help Steven overcome this difficulty he’s having with vocalizing.”

She started to walk towards the stairs until Garnet stepped in her path. “Not now. Greg is up there with Steven.” She adjusted her visor. “It’s going to be a while.”

After walking upstairs, Greg stepped quietly into Steven's room, his heart heavy with concern when he found Steven curled up on the bed with his back turned toward the door. “Steven? Can we talk for a bit?”

Steven gave no sign of response or movement. Greg moved closer and took a seat on the edge of the bed behind Steven. “Or you can just listen.”

Steven shifted slightly, but his face remained hidden from view. Greg sighed deeply and placed a hand on Steven’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Schtu-ball. I know things have been rough lately and you’re having a hard time. But you don’t have to take all this on by yourself. We’re here to help, and if there’s anything that’s bothering you, you shouldn’t be afraid to tell us.”

Much to Greg’s relief, Steven slowly sat up, though avoided his gaze as he reached inside his jacket for the pen and notepad. Greg watched him scribble a few words on the paper before Steven handed him the note.

Greg read it, his chest tightening as he took in the simple yet heartbreaking message: “I just want to talk again.”

At first, Greg gave no response as he looked to see his son still sadly gazing down, his heart aching from the weight of Steven’s silent plea. Out of everyone, it hurt him the most to see Steven not be able to talk anymore. He could recall many times when Steven would tell him stories about his adventures with the gems, the way he’d excitedly talk about the smallest things that happened during his day, his eagerness to sing along with him during impromptu jam sessions, and even those playful yells to grab his attention. Now, seeing his son rendered silent after everything that happened nearly brought tears to his eyes.

If he could, he would’ve gladly given up anything, even his own voice, if it meant Steven could speak again. Instead, he did the only thing he could really do now. He reached out, gently placing his arm around his despondent son. 

“Oh, Steven,” he murmured, his voice warm and reassuring. “We all want that for you. More than anything. But you have to give it time. You’ve been through a lot, and healing just doesn’t happen right away.”

Steven leaned into his father’s embrace, fighting every urge he had to tear up. Greg continued, “It doesn’t feel like it now, but you’re gonna get your voice back. And when you do, it’ll be stronger than ever. You’ll be able to say everything you’ve been holding in, and it’ll be worth the wait.”

Steven found himself managing to smile and returned his dad’s embrace as he nodded his head, content and appreciative of his dad’s efforts to comfort him. He hadn’t been alone with Greg like this since they took that road trip, which ended in disaster when he lashed out at his dad and nearly got them seriously hurt when he crashed the van. Though it was clear that Greg never blamed him for what happened, Steven hoped that he could finally give his father a formal apology after he got his voice back. But for now…he just wanted to stay like this.

Greg smiled warmly as he held his son in a tender embrace and realized that he succeeded in cheering him up. He knew that while he couldn’t give Steven exactly what he wanted, he could give his son the next best thing, which was to be by his side and make sure he never lost hope. 

The moment was slightly interrupted when they heard Connie greeting the gems downstairs. But to Greg’s surprise, Steven didn’t even budge. He kept his arms around his father and continued to rest his head against his shoulder while Greg didn’t have the heart to pull apart until he was certain that his son finally felt content and at ease.

Greg softly asked, “You ready to head back downstairs, bud?” When he felt Steven shake his head against his shoulder and tighten his grip around him, Greg just smiled in understanding and continued holding his son. “Of course. Take as much time as you need.”

Chapter Text

Arriving at the beach house and seeing all the gems gathered in the living room without Steven present, gave Connie a pang of worry in her chest. Thankfully, Garnet assured her that Steven was just upstairs and would be joining them soon. This was enough to give Connie a sense of relief.

About ten minutes later, Steven came back downstairs with Greg trailing behind him. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl looked warily at them until Greg gave them a reassuring smile and nod. After Steven waved hello to Peridot, Bismuth, and Lapis, Connie rushed over and hugged him while pecking his cheek.

“How are you feeling?” She asked after noticing how weary Steven looked, especially knowing his odd behavior the past couple days.

Steven had to admit that even though he still felt the same unsatisfaction and uncertainty that he had been feeling since this all started, he truly was in better spirits after spending some time with his father. He smiled faintly as he wrote down a note which he gave to Connie.

She accepted the note and read the words: “Better thank you.”

Steven then wrote another note that he tore off and held out to show to everyone: “Sorry if I made you all worry.”

Pearl was the first to smile and gently assured, “Steven, there’s no need to be sorry.”

Garnet also gave him a comforting smile. “We just want you to know that you can talk to us about anything. No matter what it is.”

Steven scanned the entire room to see the smiles all the gems were giving him. Despite the kind reminder, it almost made Steven feel worse since he couldn’t talk to them thanks to his mutism. Writing out his feelings even proved to be difficult. But not wanting to worry everyone, he just smiled and nodded his head.

Peridot then gladly interjected, brimming with excitement, “Well, you’re gonna feel a whole lot better when you see what I have.”

She finally opened the box and reached inside to pull out a metallic helmet that was connected to a toy that looked like a Speak and Spell. Everyone stared at the device, puzzled by what it was and how it was supposed to help Steven.

“What is that?” Amethyst questioned.

With a proud grin, Peridot explained, “I designed this so that Steven will be able to talk even without his voice.

Everyone’s eyes widened at this. Curious, Bismuth asked, “How does it work?”

By scanning a human’s cerebrum, it can vocalize their words without them even needing to say it. Steven can wear this and he’ll be able to speak without using his mouth or vocal cords.”

A wave of smiles spread through the room as the realization dawned on everyone. Finally, a way for Steven to express himself again.

“That’s great,” Connie said, her grin widening before turning to Steven. “Isn’t that great, Steven?”

Steven himself seemed to agree as he smiled and nodded his head. If Peridot’s invention could truly work, it meant he wouldn’t have to struggle to find a way to communicate his feelings in his current state.

Pearl asked, “Can it really give Steven his voice back?”

Peridot clarified, “Of course it can’t give Steven his voice back. But Steven will have a voice with this.”

She marched over to Steven with the helmet and gestured for him to kneel so she could put it on. After she did, Steven noticed how uncomfortably tight the helmet was, and noted how the electronic pad that hung around his neck felt like it was a bit of an eyesore. It may have looked a little weird on him too judging from everyone’s expressions. He typed something one letter at a time on the pad, and electronic voice spoke, “H E L L O Hello.”

Pearl held her chin. “There’s not much difference from Steven just writing down his words on paper. But I supposed it is more practical.”

“That’s not how it works.” Peridot snapped. “I must activate it first.”

She flipped the switch on the back of the helmet and the bulbs lit up with faint hues of blue and green, and the electronic pad turned on.

“So, how does this thing work?” the electronic pad spoke in a monotonous voice while the screen showed the words it was speaking. Steven’s eyes widened when he realized that was exactly what he wanted to say. “Wait. Was that me?”

This made Connie, Greg, and the rest of the gems gasp in shock. Peridot laughed in triumph. “Ha! It worked!”

“Steven?” Pearl asked while trying to get over the initial shock. “Is that really you speaking?”

Steven smiled nervously as the device continued to speak in a stilted voice, “I think it’s me, Pearl.” Steven’s grin grew wider. ‘Wait, that is me. Those are the words I am think ing.”

Bismuth laughed with a huge grin. “That’s incredible!”

Connie laughed in joy and hugged Steven. “Oh my gosh, Steven. You’re really talking again.”

“I’ll say.” Greg agreed, patting his son’s shoulder. “You’re like that smart guy in the chair.”

In a rush of excitement, Steven ran over and hugged Peridot in gratitude. “Thank you, Per ri dot. This is real ly great.”

Peridot grinned. “You’re welcome, Steven. Happy to be of service.”

Amethyst turned to Peridot. “Did you have to make it sound like a creepy robot?”

Lapis raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. It doesn’t sound anything like Steven.” 

But Peridot shrugged. “Well, where was I supposed to get a Steven sounding voice?”

“Don’t wor ry, guys. It’s not so bad.” Steven then decided to have some fun and began moving his arms stiffly, mimicking the stereotypical motions of a robot. “I am Ste ven the ro bot boop boop.”

Amethyst couldn’t help but laugh at this, and playfully poked Steven in the stomach. “Robots aren’t usually soft and squishy.”

Steven grinned with amusement, especially when the helmet spoke, “Ver ry fun ny, Am me thyst.”

Amethyst laughed even harder. “Say my name again!”

The half-gem obliged. “Am me thyst.”

Amethyst laughed again while Greg playfully shouted, “Uh oh! My son’s a robot again and I still can’t relate to him!”

The group burst into laughter, filling the room with the joyous atmosphere that had been sorely missed. Steven couldn’t help but feel relieved to have found a way to be heard once more, even if he sounded like a robot now. He wasn’t sure before, but now he was certain that he was finally happy. So, that meant everything could go back to normal.

Steven attempted to summon his shield again, but was disappointed when it only manifested halfway before disappearing. He placed a hand on his gem. “My gem po wers still don’t work.”

Though Steven winced a bit at how silly the device made his distress sound, Garnet approached Steven and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Steven. We’ll help you work though this issue, and in time, your real voice will return.”

Steven smiled as the helmet responded, “Thank you, Gar net.”

Pearl smiled hopefully. “Well, the situation may not be ideal, but at least Steven can vocalize again.”

“That’s right, Pearl.” Steven answered with a smile and nod.

Connie moved in front of him and held his hands. “Well, while I still prefer your old voice, I’m glad you can talk to me again.”

Steven smiled at this sentiment. “Me too, Con nie. I feel much I am a burden.”

Hearing this made Connie react in surprise. “Wait, what?”

Steven’s eyes widened with horror upon hearing what the device said. He frantically waved his arms as he tried to make the device say what he intended to say. “I said I feel much bet ter.”

This made everyone look at each, wondering why Steven’s new voice would veer his simple response into something so alarming. Noting the awkward silence, Amethyst tried to change the subject. “Anyway, Robot Steven, what are you gonna do now that you can talk?”

Steven himself wasn’t sure what he wanted to do now that he could technically speak again. It was now that he remembered how conflicted he felt before and after losing his voice. He didn’t want to damper anyone’s mood right now since they were all happy that he finally gained a way to speak again. He could solve his internal struggles later.

Instead, Steven put on a fake smile. “I was think ing we could have a beach par ty and I feel guilty for what I did.”

Now looking concerned for what Steven was inadvertently confessing, Lapis asked, “What was that?”

In panicked desperation, Steven grabbed the control pad of the device and began frantically pushing buttons to get it to stop. “No, that’s not what I said. I make things worse. Will they leave me again?”

Greg became concerned. “Steven, what’s up with your new voice?”

Bismuth held her head. “What is going on?”

“My fault. My fault. My fault.” Steven still fiddled with the device as he backed away until he looked at Peridot as if begging her for a solution.

The green gem didn’t even know what was going on. “There must be a malfunction.”

With desperation in her voice, Lapis turned to Peridot. “Well, can’t you fix it?”

“It’s just supposed to vocalize the words in his mind, not anything else.”

Steven’s panic rose when he realized that all the things he had been thinking lately were being spoken out loud. He wanted to share these feelings with everyone, but not like this. His conflicted feelings were just overriding his control over the device. “Guys, this is not I I am useless. I am a burden.”

Connie looked at him with deep concern. “Steven?”

Pearl asked, “Are you really saying those things?”

“N N No. This not how I…” Steven gritted his teeth as he tried to get control of his thoughts and control the things he wanted to say. “I want you to stay with me, but I don’t want you to stay with me. I don’t know what I want.”

Finally, Steven couldn’t take it anymore. His private thoughts were being exposed for all to hear. Things he wanted to say, but couldn’t say and weren’t ready to say were being forced out of him. He grabbed the helmet and forcibly pulled it off his head and smashed it on the floor without a second thought before doing the same with the electronic pad.

“My device!” Peridot shouted in dismay.

Steven stared down at his hands, which were trembling while his heart was beating a mile a minute. He flinched when he heard Garnet suddenly call to him, “Steven!” his anxiety spiked as he looked up to see everyone staring at him with looks of concern and pity while Garnet still tried to speak calmly to him. “It’s okay. Just calm down.”

Steven’s breath hitched as he slowly shook his head. He saw how much of what he had said upset them, all because he couldn’t tell them earlier. They probably thought he was hiding things from them again. No wonder they were disappointed- at least that’s what Steven thought.

Greg tried to assure his son. “Take deep breaths, son. You’re gonna be fine.”

Connie reached out to him in an attempt to calm him down. “Steven, please. Just talk to us.”

Talk? He couldn’t even do that anymore, and it was clear that he never would. Steven took out his notepad and scribbled a quick note that he tore off and threw on the floor before leaving through the front door.

While everyone looked heartbroken by his sudden departure, Connie picked the note up off the floor and read it out loud, “‘Going for walk alone.’”

Although the gems were hesitant after what happened, they all agreed that maybe it was best to respect Steven’s wishes and leave him alone for a while to sort out his feelings.

Connie, however, couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her best friend and partner by himself while he was struggling so much. He needed a reminder that he didn’t have to face this alone. Sometimes, silence spoke volumes.

Chapter Text

Steven didn’t know where he was going. He just had to get as far away from the beach house as possible. Somewhere he wouldn’t have to talk to anyone and say the wrong thing. As Steven ran, his breaths were ragged while tears flew from his tightly shut eyes. His heart pounded in his chest until he had to stop to catch his breath. It was now that Steven finally took notice of his surroundings. He had run all the way to the forest outside of Beach City. What struck him even more was that he was near the area where he had fought Jasper…and shattered her.

His eyes were widened in terror as he briefly glanced around, looking for any sign of the gem in question. When he saw no sign of her, he hugged his trembling body tightly and slowly backed away, flinching when he bumped into a tree. He leaned against the trunk and stared at the ground. He wished none of this ever happened. If he had spoken about his feelings, if he had just told them the truth about how lost and scared he felt instead of pretending everything was fine, things wouldn’t have spiraled out of control, and he wouldn’t have corrupted.

Now it was too late. Back when he could talk, he chose to keep everything to himself. Now that he wanted to let everything out and share his feelings, he couldn’t say a single word. Words that would not leave his mouth or his pen, rendering him completely mute. Steven’s breath hitched when he recalled earlier how he had all those things he wanted to confess involuntarily blurted out for everyone to hear. He felt nothing but shame when they found out he was hiding things from them again. He couldn’t bear to think that he disappointed them once again, and how he still couldn’t tell them the truth even after everything that’s happened.

Steven looked straight ahead at the sunlight that glistened through the treetops. He wished there was some way he could feel better. Anything to alleviate this pain he was feeling. Then he remembered one way he used to ease his stress and chase away the heavy emotions weighing him down: singing.

Sighing heavily, Steven thought back to the last time he sang a song as a means for solace. Sheesh, it had been a while. Singing was something he and his family did to express themselves and they often had fun while doing so. But lately, Steven hadn’t felt the desire to sing and instead chose to keep all his troubling emotions inside of him. How ironic was it that when he could speak, he had chosen not to. Now that he wanted to share his true feelings with everyone, he had no voice to speak with.

But maybe…he didn’t need his voice to sing. He couldn’t hum and he couldn’t belt out the lyrics that showcased his emotions, but there was still a song in his heart that he could sing in his head to lift his spirits. With no other option, Steven decided to give it a shot.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and let the melody fill his mind until the voice locked inside him could sing. ‘If only they could know the things I long to say. If only I could tell them what I wish I could convey.’ He wrapped his arms around himself. ‘These feelings trapped inside with nowhere to escape.’ He reached into his pocket and pulled out a note with a pre-written message on it. The one that had the same words he had spoken to assure everyone that he was fine- but it was all a lie. ‘They’d see it written down if only it weren’t fake.’ he scowled as he crumbled up the note in his hand and stuffed it back into his pocket before walking off with his head bowed in shame.

‘If only I’d been strong to tell them how I feel. If only I could tell them what I’m dying to reveal.’ When he stopped walking, he looked up and noticed that he had wandered into an open clearing with a slanted rock in the middle. ‘Apologies I owe, the truths I want to speak. They would’ve known it all if only I weren’t weak.’

Looking up towards the sky through the branches, a warm smile worked its way across his face as his mind raced with all the good that could come out from him finally telling his loved ones everything that was on his mind. ‘All my sorrows, they would learn them.’ Steven placed his hands on his chest as he spun around, tears brimming in his eyes. ‘All my fractures, they would mend them.’

Smiling widely, he leapt onto the rock. ‘Then my silence would be broken.’ He spread his arms out as the sun shined down on him through the canopy. ‘Then my feelings would be spoken.’

However, Steven’s smile turned sorrowful as he hopped off the rock. ‘If only it were true, if only for a while. If only I had told them how I ached behind my smile.’

Who was he kidding? He had already chosen not to open up to anyone and now he was suffering the consequences of his actions. He brought his hands to his chest and clenched his fists. ‘And now I can’t express, my words just will not flow.’ His eyes widened in horror as he came to a sudden realization. ‘What if I never find a way to tell them so.’

He thought back to before he had corrupted. How the gems, Connie, and his dad had noticed how upset he was feeling, even when he had told them otherwise. How after he had corrupted and became so inconsolable by that point that he could have stayed that way. And yet, they never gave up on him; they still refused to give up on him. The possibility of his voice never returning and never being able to tell his loved ones how sorry he was, how much he appreciated them, or even have a casual conversation with them left him terrified and heartbroken. It suddenly hit him how much he took his voice for granted.

Tears ran down Steven’s face as he moved his lips to the song he was singing in his mind. ‘Oh, what I would give if only they could know.’

Steven silently sobbed for a moment before wiping his tears on the sleeves of his jacket as he stood alone in the forest…or so he thought.

“Well, well, well, lookie what we have here.”

Steven’s eyes widened in horror when he noticed a shadow looming over him. He looked up and silently gasped to see Bluebird Azurite hovering right above him. The fusion took pride in seeing Steven’s expression brought on by her sudden appearance.

“You know, it’s funny. Usually, I hear you Crystal Gems crooning before I find you prancing about.”

Seeing the fusion brought back bad memories of how she tried to use his dad as leverage against him. It was yet another thing Steven blamed himself for because he tried to give Bluebird a chance to change and it led to his father having to sacrifice his long hair to save himself. Steven glared, finding himself unable to forgive the fusion or her components for putting them both in that situation.

“What’s the matter?” Bluebird asked with fake sympathy. “Not going to give me a lecture or one of your little speeches about how I should see the error of my ways and redeem myself?”

Maintaining his glare, Steven slowly shook his head in response. Bluebird just scoffed. “Oh, as if that even matters. You’re here now, and nothing you say will stop me from finally taking my revenge.”

Steven’s eyes briefly widened before his face shifted back into a frown. He knew the fusion of two gems who hated him would still be willing and eager to take him out. But if they knew he was in no condition to defend himself against them, they would no doubt seize the chance to fulfill their desire for vengeance. He just had to get himself out of this situation without arousing suspicion. He took out his pen and notepad from his jacket and wrote a quick note that he gave to Bluebird.

“What’s this?” a disgruntled Bluebird took the note and read the message: “I don’t want to fight you.” she looked up from the note in bewilderment, wondering why the half-gem, who used his sappy words to manipulate Homeworld into his way of thinking and even thought he could use those words to try and sway her to his side as well, was being strangely quiet. “Why are you not talking?” Steven looked away as he shrugged his shoulders, trying to remain inconspicuous as to not reveal to her the truth about his silence. However, the fact that the savior of the galaxy wasn’t being his annoying diplomatic self was enough to help Bluebird come to the obvious realization. “Wait…can you not…speak?”

Steven’s lips quivered as he tried to maintain his defiant frown, but was too overcome with emotion to try and hide his condition. He offered no form of response as he looked back at the fusion with an almost pitiful gaze. But this was all the fusion needed to confirm her suspicions. Bluebird laughed hysterically while tossing the note away. “You really can’t speak. Well, isn’t this a twist? The famous Steven Universe, always ready with a speech about change and redemption, suddenly struck dumb.” Steven was not at all amused as he glared at the fusion. When her laughter died down, her smile morphed into a malevolent smirk. “So, if you were to scream right now, no one would hear you?”

Steven was briefly puzzled by her question, until he watched her summon her ice cutlass from the gemstone in her eye. His expression morphed into one of terror as he backed away before bumping into the rock behind him. He desperately tried to summon his shield to protect himself, but it still refused to come to his aid.

Smirking, Bluebird noted, “So, you can’t speak or summon your weapon? This will be easier than I thought it would be. Imagine the look on those Crystal Gems’ faces when I come before them with your gem in hand. I’ll tell them how their savior went down without so much as putting up a fight before forcing them to destroy everything you worked so hard to build.”

Wasting no time, Bluebird swung her sword, which Steven ducked to avoid, causing her blade to slice the rock. With no other option, Steven chose to run for it. Bluebird summoned multiple copies of her sword that she flung at Steven, who clumsily swayed left and right to avoid the attacks while running further into the woods.

Bluebird angrily called after him. “Come back here!”

Steven’s breaths ran ragged as he tried to run as far as he could to get away from the vengeful fusion. He quickly ducked behind a tree and pressed himself back against the trunk, hoping he’ll go unnoticed when Bluebird passes by.

This didn’t stop him from hearing Bluebird’s voice call out to him from somewhere in the forest, “Is this what the great Steven Universe has been reduced to? Voiceless, powerless, and choosing to hide rather than fight?”

Steven did his best to block out the taunts of the fusion, but he couldn’t deny that she was right on some level. He had to find a way to defend himself. He closed his eyes and focused. His gem glowed beneath his shirt and his shield manifested on his arm. He smiled to see that his powers were working once again, but the celebration was dampened when Bluebird sprung out from behind and drove her sword at Steven, which would’ve stabbed him had he not deflected with his shield.

Bluebird wasn’t worried, however, and just laughed maniacally as she rapidly swung her sword at Steven who did his best to keep his shield up while backed into the tree. He then noticed his shield starting to flicker, causing him to briefly panic as he dove sideways. Bluebird’s sword sliced cleanly through the trunk of the tree and started to topple over. Steven rolled onto his back and his eyes widened to see the tree falling towards him. He crawled backwards to avoid it while his eyes were closed. Suddenly, he felt a crushing pain.

Steven opened his eyes to see that the tree was now lying on top of his right leg. The pain he was feeling was probably due to the tree fracturing his leg. The rest of him appeared to be unscathed, but he was unable to pull himself free. Before he could try and lift the tree trunk off his leg, he was confronted by Bluebird who landed on top of the tree and stared down at him with malicious intent.

“Looks like we finally got you.” Bluebird’s form glowed brightly until she split apart into her components, Aquamarine and Eyeball.

Steven glared at the two gems. He couldn’t believe they would go this far just to defeat him. He attempted to summon his shield or his bubble, but he was dismayed when neither ability worked. 

Eyeball grinned as she summoned her chisel knife from her gem. Horrified, Steven frantically held up his hands and shook his head in an attempt to plead with them not to go through with it.

With a sly smile, Aquamarine floated next to him and cupped her ear. “Have something to say, Steven? Go ahead, say it.”

He quickly calmed down and moved his mouth as he tried to form words. His breath hitched as he desperately tried to push his voice past his throat and finally speak in order to save his own life. But even then, he still found himself unable to utter a single word.

“Mmm, sorry, can’t hear you.” Aquamarine mocked as she pulled away from Steven.

As a last desperate move, Steven quickly reached into his jacket and pulled out his notepad and pen to write a quick note begging the two gems to reconsider and think about the consequences their actions will have. He tore off the note and started to hand it to them, only for Eyeball to knock it out of Steven’s hand with her weapon.

“Enough of this!” Eyeball impatiently shouted before grabbing Steven by the collar of his shirt while holding her knife in the air. “Time to finish what I started.”

Steven’s forehead sweated as he looked wide eyed in horror at the chisel knife that the ruby held directly above him. He could not believe it was going to end like this. He had just left his friends and family without saying goodbye, without saying he’s sorry for what he put them through, without telling them how he’d been feeling this whole time. It was all his fault because he was weak. Too weak to be useful to anybody, too weak to keep himself from corrupting, too weak to fight Bluebird Azurite, and too weak to say anything…too weak to know what he truly wanted.

Right when Eyeball was about to bring the knife down, she was interrupted when the ground began to shake by the thunderous footsteps that drew closer and closer. Suddenly, an orange blur charged though the trees and would’ve hit Aquamarine and Eyeball had they not jumped out of the way in time.

Steven reacted with shock to see Jasper next to him, donning her crash helmet as she stared the two smaller gems down.

Both Eyeball and Aquamarine stared at the larger gem in shock and anger. “What are you doing?!” the ruby demanded to know.

Scowling in fury, Jasper shouted, “You will not harm my diamond!”

Aquamarine looked down at Eyeball. “Quickly! We must fuse if we’re ever going to defeat her.”

Eyeball just stood there silently as she stared at her former idol in cold fury and betrayal. She couldn’t believe that Steven had even managed to talk a powerful and ruthless warrior like Jasper into joining his side. With a resigned frown, she answered with a cold and quiet, “Fine.”

Both Eyeball and Aquamarine grabbed hands until their forms glowed brightly and joined together to form Bluebird Azurite once again. The fusion glared as she summoned her ice cutlass. Steven watched in astonishment as Jasper jumped over the fallen tree and launched herself into a spin attack at Bluebird, tackling her to the ground.

Snarling through her teeth, Bluebird sprang to her feet. She jumped into the air and hovered above Jasper with her ice cutlass gleaming. Jasper, however, dug her boots into the ground and squared her shoulders, her helmet glinting with defiance. Steven’s heart pounded as he watched the two gems square off, wishing his gem powers worked so he could get involved.

Bluebird slashed the air, sending a barrage of ice cutlasses hurtling toward Jasper, who raised her forearms to block the attack as the swords exploded against her in a shower of frost. Bluebird then lunged forward, blade swinging, until Jasper stepped to the side and used her helmet to slam Bluebird into the ground.

As she lay in a small crater, Bluebird glared up at Jasper. “Why do you defend him?” her voice trembling with rage. “After he stripped us of our status and our dignity.”

Standing tall over the fusion, Jasper harshly responded, “He has more power than you can ever imagine. Enough power to destroy either one of us.”

Watching them with widened eyes, a wave of horror washed over Steven as Jasper’s words caused his heart to hammer painfully in his chest, remembering his own reckless display of power and the fear in Jasper’s eyes when he shattered her where she stood. As his body glowed pink, Steven wrapped his arms tightly around himself as he tried to keep his panic at bay. His head hung low while his breath became jagged to the point where he couldn’t even focus on the battle occurring right in front of him. All he could do was regret everything. He regretted not being able to speak, not being able to apologize, not being able to help anyone because he couldn’t even help himself.

As she slowly pushed herself up from the ground, Bluebird’s furious gaze darted to Steven. He was still trapped, helpless, and he couldn’t speak or fight, which made it the perfect opportunity to get the revenge she so rightly thought she deserved.

Bluebird flew at fast speed past Jasper and summoned her cutlass. Steven looked up and his eyes widened with terror to see Bluebird gleefully pull her arm back as she prepared to strike him. Steven closed his eyes, only to open them seconds later to see the tip of the ice cutlass just inches from his face. Bluebird struggled from Jasper’s hold of her arm until the quartz roughly tossed her aside into some trees. Steven couldn’t help but wince uncomfortably as he watched the fusion’s rough impact.

Having been forced apart, Eyeball and Aquamarine groaned as they pushed the debris off themselves until a large shadow loomed over, causing them to briefly flinch when they looked up to see Jasper, staring them down with a fiery glare. “If you keep trying to harm my diamond, you’re both going to have to answer to me.”

Growling in frustration, Eyeball staggered to her feet while Aquamarine hovered with a displeased pout. The two exchanged a glare as Eyeball muttered a bitter. “I guess that’s it then.” She looked past Jasper to shoot Steven a look of disdain. “Looks like you win again!” she then grew a smirk. “But we still hate you! Got anything to say about that?!”

Aquamarine hovered beside her with a condescending smile. “It’s almost sad, really, to see what Homeworld’s savior has been reduced to. Unable to defend himself physically and verbally.” 

As the two continued to laugh at Steven’s misfortune, Aquamarine grabbed hold of Eyeball and the two flew straight into the air, disappearing over the trees of the forest.

Although their cruel taunts stung, Steven quietly sighed in relief to see the two hateful gems gone, but his shock returned when he saw Jasper approach him, her helmet disappearing. Without a word, she effortlessly picked up the tree that was pinning Steven down and tossed it aside. In a gruff voice, Jasper asked, “Are you alright, My Diamond?”

Steven timidly nodded as he pulled his now free leg towards him but winced in pain. With uncertainty, Steven licked the palm of his hand and pressed it against his broken leg. His spit sparkled and the pain disappeared, causing Steven to sigh in relief that his healing powers still worked. Steven stood up and smiled at Jasper, but he couldn’t believe that it was Jasper of all gems who rescued him. After he shattered her and coldly dismissed her, she still rushed to help him when she noticed he was in danger. As much as he believed he didn’t deserve it, he was still grateful to Jasper for her aid. He took out his notepad and wrote a note that he handed to the quartz.

Curious, Jasper took the note and read the words: “Thanks for helping me, Jasper.” She looked at Steven as if she had just been insulted and waved the paper in his face. “Why do you thank me with this message instead saying it to me?”

Steven winced a bit as he took the paper back and wrote another message on it before handing it back. Jasper snatched the note back before reading the new message: “I lost my voice.”

Reading this made her angrier to point that she crushed the note in her fist and nearly got into Steven’s face. “What do you mean you lost your voice? Did someone take it? Who would dare steal my diamond’s voice?”

Gritting his teeth at the misunderstanding, Steven shook his head. He quickly wrote another note and handed it to her. Jasper read the new note: “No one. I’ve been going through some stuff so I can’t talk now.”

Jasper still scowled before crushing the note in her fist and tossing it aside, eyes blazing in frustration. “How can you just lose your ability to talk? You’re a diamond. Diamonds don’t just lose their voices. If you’re a leader, you don’t let anything stop you from speaking.”

Steven assumed Jasper was still not understanding how mutism worked. He started to write another note explaining the situation in more detail until Jasper snatched the notepad away and tore it cleanly in half. Steven frowned in dismay at Jasper destroying the only way he had of communicating with everyone.

“Listen to me, My Diamond,” Jasper growled, her voice firm yet oddly passionate. “A leader doesn’t use paper to communicate. A leader commands with their voice. If your voice refuses to work, then make it work. The only way anyone is going to listen to you is if you speak up. If you have something to say, you should say it. Don’t let anything hold you back.”

Jasper turned and departed into the forest, leaving Steven alone in stunned silence over this unexpected advice Jasper had given him. After snapping out of his daze, Steven looked at the ground, frowning in sorrow. Just say what he wanted…if only he could.

Chapter Text

After the harrowing experience of nearly being killed by Bluebird Azurite and being rescued by Jasper, Steven decided to make his way back home. During his walk through Beach City in the late afternoon, he tried to follow the advice of the quartz soldier by trying to make himself speak. When he tried to practice what he would say to the gems, he was dismayed when he still could not will himself to talk. The horrible lump was still present in his throat, blocking any sound from emerging. Steven gave a heavy sigh, and his heart filled with sorrow when he realized that even after everything he’d been through to try and reclaim his voice, it would still be a long while before he could talk again. His thoughts, his feelings, his conflicting desires would still be trapped inside him for an undetermined amount of time.

“STEVEN!”

Steven’s thought process was broken when he looked up in surprise to see Connie approaching him on top of Lion. Stopping in front of him, Connie hopped off Lion and stood in front of him with a relieved smile.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I know you just want to be alone right now, but I couldn’t-” she was cut off by Steven throwing himself on her and wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. “Steven?”

She nearly froze when she heard Steven’s breath hitch into a hard sob. She was thankfully spared from the heartbreaking sight of tears streaming down Steven’s face as he continued sobbing over her shoulder.

Connie wrapped her arms around Steven and gently shushed him while rubbing his back. “It’s okay, Steven. You’re gonna be okay.”

Lion purred as he nuzzled Steven’s tear soaked face.

After a while, Steven began to calm down and they both got on Lion’s back. When they arrived at the beach, Connie had expected them to go straight upstairs into the beach house, but she was surprised when Steven went straight to the shore as soon as he got off Lion. She watched as Steven sat down and stared at the waves before taking a seat next to him. Both teens stared out into the distance at the sun setting over the horizon. Connie looked at Steven who continued to stare out into the distance with a contemplative and almost exhausted look on his face, which wasn’t surprising given his emotional breakdown moments earlier.

“Steven?” Connie asked with concern on her face. “Do you wanna talk now?”

On instinct, Steven almost reached into his jacket for his notepad, before realizing he didn’t have it anymore. He briefly panicked, wondering how he was going to communicate with Connie now since he still couldn’t talk. But an idea struck him and quickly took out his phone and typed a message. Connie felt her phone vibrate and she looked at it to see a text message from Steven, which read, “This is all my fault that this happened.”

Connie looked at Steven in confusion. “Why would you think that?”

With a sad expression, Steven texted another message. This one read: “If I had told you guys everything, I wouldn’t have corrupted and you guys wouldn’t have to deal with this. Even now, there are things I haven’t told you.”

Reading Steven’s text brought a pang in her heart as Connie realized how much Steven had been thinking about ever since he lost his ability to speak and how much pain he had been keeping inside him. Connie gave him a reassuring smile. “Would you like to talk about it now?”

Steven paused for a moment. He wanted to talk to her, but there was still a part of him that didn’t want to, which is why his voice still refused to work. But then, he remembered what Jasper had told him. “If you have something to say, you should say it. Don’t let anything hold you back.” Steven wanted to say everything that was on his mind and his lack of voice was the only thing stopping him. But then he remembered that talking was not the only way he had of communicating. He could still write down everything he wanted to say, and this time, he wouldn’t worry about the details. He was going to make himself speak. Finally, Steven turned to Connie and nodded in affirmation.

He began sending her text message after text message of everything that had been on his mind lately. The guilt he had been feeling about his corruption, the remorse for all the trouble he caused everyone before and after the fact, the doubt that clouded his happiness about being together with everyone again, his fears of everyone leaving him again once he can talk, and the uncertainty he felt about what he wanted to do with his life from here on out.

With each text she received from Steven, Connie glanced up to see the strained look on Steven as if he were struggling to put into words the things he wanted to explain. After reading each text and learning about all the problems Steven was feeling, she had to stop herself from speaking about it, feeling it was best to let Steven finish. Though at one point, she did suggest he take a break, worried that he may be undergoing a lot of stress. However, Steven shook his head in refusal, knowing that if he didn’t do this now, he probably wouldn’t be able to later. By the time Steven sent his final text message, he felt emotionally drained. He put his phone back in his pocket and rested his chin on top of his knees.

Connie knew talking about this was hard for him, especially since he couldn’t actually talk. She offered him a supportive smile. “Steven, it’s okay. I don’t blame you for what happened, and I’m certain no one else does.” She grabbed his hand. “So, please don’t feel that way.” Steven looked at Connie, her warm smile still present on her face. “You’re still healing, so there’s no need to rush trying to decide what you’re gonna do afterwards. And even if we go our separate ways someday, I’ll still be here for you.” Her grip on his hand tightened a bit as her eyes shimmered. “I’ll always be part of your universe.”

Steven smiled as he straightened up, tears started to form in his eyes again. Connie then suggested, “If you like, we can talk to the gems together. I can show them your messages, or you can forward them to them. What do you say?” 

With a tearful smile, Steven nodded in approval before he leaned forward and hugged Connie, a gentle warmth settling in his chest. All this time, he’d been convinced that his silence was a burden, that his inability to speak made him less useful to everyone who depended on him and kept him from connecting with his loved ones by holding them back from goals they wanted to pursue. But now, Steven understood that words were never his only strength. They had always been a bridge, but not the only way he could connect. He remembered all the times he’d used his voice to inspire, comfort, and support others, but realized that he had never learned to use it for himself. In trying so hard to carry everyone else’s burdens, he’d never dared to voice his own- probably out of fear of becoming a burden himself. But knowing that Connie and the rest of his family would stand by him no matter what he could or couldn’t say, or even what paths they decided to take, Steven finally felt the weight begin to lift.

Connie wrapped her arms around Steven, happy that he was finally able to take the first step he needed to begin healing. For a few moments, they sat there in each other’s embrace, surrounded only by the hush of waves lapping gently against the shore. Connie could sense the tension and exhaustion that had weighed so heavily on Steven finally ebbing away. Letting her chin rest on his shoulder, she closed her eyes and smiled warmly, vowing silently to help him reclaim his voice no matter how long it might take.

“C-Connie…”

Upon hearing the quiet raspy voice whisper her name into her ear, Connie’s eyes widened in shock. She quickly pulled away from the half-gem, her hands resting on his shoulders as she stared at him with cautious optimism. “Steven?”

Steven stared back at her with a soft smile. He slowly opened his mouth and emitted the same quiet rasp that Connie heard moments ago. “Thank you.”

A wide smile brimmed Connie’s face as tears spilled from her eyes. With a joyous laugh, Connie threw herself at Steven and wrapped her arms around him. The force was enough to push Steven onto his back, bringing them both down onto the cool sand as they both laughed with happiness.

Pearl was pacing the floor with worry while Greg and the gems watched. The sun had gone down, and Steven still had not returned. They were preparing to go out and look for him.

“Something must’ve happened.” Pearl exasperated. “Without his ability to speak, Steven has no way of alerting anyone if he’s in danger.”

“It’s okay, Pearl. We’ll find him before anything happens.” Bismuth calmly assured. “I’ll check the forge.”

Greg raised his hand. “I’ll check the wash.”

“I’ll check the woods.” Amethyst volunteered.

Peridot shouted, “I’ll check Little Homeworld!”

“I’ll circle around Beach City.” Lapis offered.

“Hold on.” Garnet suddenly spoke as she turned towards the front door. “None of this will be necessary.”

Everyone was confused by this statement until they heard the front door open, and they all turned towards the entrance to see Steven step inside with Connie right behind him.

Steven took a deep breath and exhaled before smiling as he waved. “Hey guys.” He spoke in a clear voice.

This simple greeting brought smiles and joyful tears to everyone as they rushed over to the half-gem. “Steven!” Amethyst, Pearl, Lapis, and Peridot all shouted in unison.

“You’re talking!” Greg exclaimed as he pulled Steven into a tight hug.

The gems all gathered around Steven and Greg for a group hug. Steven winced a bit from the force of their hug and the collective chatter as he gave a weak smile.

“Steven, are you hurt?” Pearl asked as she placed a hand on Steven’s cheek.

“No, I’m fine.” Steven answered.

Lapis curiously asked, “Since when did your voice come back?”

Starting to feel tense from the tightness of the group hug, Steven weakly answered, “Just a bit ago.”

As tears streamed down her face, Peridot stated, “I’ve missed hearing your voice, Steven! Say more words!”

“M-M-Maybe later.” Steven choked out, but Peridot still bawled with tears of joy.

Thankfully, Connie stepped in. “Come on, guys. Steven won’t be able to talk anymore if he can’t breathe.”

At this, the gems immediately back away, allowing Steven to relax and catch his breath. Still, Steven managed to smile at how much everyone cared. “Thanks, guys.”

Bismuth grinned. “I’m really glad you got your voice back.”

With a smirk, Steven held his arm out. “And that’s not all.” Right on command, he summoned his shield, dismissing it almost immediately to summon his bubble fist, earning delighted gasps from everyone.

“Your powers are working again!” Peridot cheered.

“So, Steven.” Amethyst excitedly started saying. “Now that you can talk again, is there anything you’d like to say now?”

Steven hesitated for a moment, his fingers curling unconsciously at his sides as he searched for the right words. “Yeah, there is.” he smiled as he looked towards everyone, who were all eager and happy to hear whatever he had to say now that he could say it. “Everyone, I appreciate all that you’ve done for me these past several days. It’s been tough. But now, I think I’m ready to take that first step I need to start recovering.” He turned to Greg. “Dad, do you still have the number for that therapist?”

Greg’s grin widened. “Of course.”

Steven grinned as well. “Great. I’ll call tomorrow and set up an appointment.”

Pearl wiped her eyes, beaming with pride. “That’s wonderful, Steven.”

Amethyst slung an arm around Steven’s shoulder. “Yeah, dude. And when you get done with that, we can hang out and you can tell us how it went.”

Steven hesitated, uncertainty appearing across his face. “You…you don’t have to do that. I’ve been taking up so much of your time lately. You really don’t have to-”

“Steven.” Garnet interrupted, her voice steady yet comforting. “Helping you isn’t something we have to do; it’s something we want to do. You should never feel like a burden to us. Take as much time as you need, and we’ll be here for you every step of the way.”

Steven felt a sense of relief, Garnet’s reassurance settling the last lingering doubts in his heart. For the first time in days, the emotion welling up inside him wasn’t fear or uncertainty, but pure happiness. He nodded his head in response, possibly because he was still so used to doing it, but thankful for the support surrounding him. Connie approached him and gently pressed her lips to his, catching him off guard for a moment, but he lovingly returned her affections. After they pulled apart, Steven’s smile lingered while a faint blush appeared across his cheeks.

Upon noticing how quiet Steven was acting now, Peridot began to panic. “Steven’s lost his voice again! What do we do?!” 

Though slightly embarrassed by her overreaction, Steven was quick to reassure the green gem, “No, no, no. I’m fine, really.”

With his friends and family gathered close as they laughed in amusement, Steven felt a calming warmth that he hadn’t felt in ages. He no longer grappled with the struggles he’d been facing in his silence, and while he knew those struggles still lingered inside him, he wasn’t going to let them overwhelm him. He would tackle those issues one day at a time.  

They spent the rest of the evening together, sharing stories and dreams for the future, with Steven happily jumping into the conversation now that he could speak.

As the night wore on, Steven glanced out the window to see the stars that glimmered above Beach City. He then turned his attention back to the ones who meant everything to him: his dad, Connie, and the gems. He smiled, now knowing that he wouldn’t have to face the road ahead by himself- at least until he was truly ready to decide where that road would lead.

Speaking of road, Steven briefly considered that maybe he could take his own road trip to find his place in the world and figure out who he is as his own person. Could that be something he truly wanted? The idea sounded crazy. He’d be leaving behind everything and everyone he knew. But maybe…it was time for him to make a selfish decision for once...to do what he wanted. Though for now, Steven just decided to enjoy the moment he was living in now, no longer fearing what the future might bring and starting his new journey to begin healing.

The End