Chapter Text
The constant cascading rhythm of shoes striking rough concrete echoed inside my head. I quickly picked out the gritty sound of my own shoes dragging across the sidewalk, and made a mental note to pick up my feet as we continued to walk. Contrastingly, the dull clacks created by the heels of Mafuyu’s boots beat a clean and even rhythm ahead of me. As I listened on admiringly, the rhythm slowed, and then came to a stop; instinctually, I felt my own feet stop moving as well. Suddenly, I realized that my eyes had been fixed on the ground—I hastily raised my head. Mafuyu was stopped a dozen or so paces ahead, her body turned slightly to look back at me. Our eyes met.
“...”
“Kanade?”
“Ah.”
I hurried to catch up to her, wincing at the sound of shoes scuffing against concrete. As usual, the other girl wore a blank expression. Nobody would say that anything about her inscrutable face had changed, except- Something was definitely different. Was I imagining the ghost of a smile upon her lips? The dying sparks of a laugh within those eyes? I felt a warmth blooming within my chest as I offered Mafuyu an apologetic smile. She nodded in acknowledgement and continued walking. As I tried to pick out our footsteps from the crowd once again, I found only her steps. Confused, I listened more closely—the timbre had changed. It dawned on me then, we were walking in sync. A giddy smile crept its way onto my face. I must’ve looked a bit unhinged. Thankfully, I was still walking behind the other girl. I promptly looked away as Mafuyu glanced back at me.
“Thanks for slowing down for me.”
“Oh, no worries.”She responded flatly.
This time, she waited a little longer for me, and we took off side by side. That warm feeling again—like melting and floating and breathing and holding your breath until you could barely grasp the last vestiges of consciousness—filled my body and carried my feet weightlessly across the sidewalk. In the corner of my eye, her blurry profile stood out elegantly against gray architecture and calm blue skies.
I was still floating along on that feeling when we reached our destination, a medium sized chain grocery store not far from my house. Mafuyu told me it was a 10-15 minute walk, although it had taken the two of us at least 20. I cast a forlorn glance at the lower half of my body as I followed Mafuyu into the store. She was looking down at her phone; the notes app was opened, and a short list of items was sprawled across the screen. She pointed to a section towards the end.
“Kanade, can you go get these,”—she pointed to an item on the list, toothpaste, and then dragged her finger down towards the bottom—“they should all be in or near the toiletry section. I can get the rest.”
“Ah, yes, of course!” I squeaked out, my voice higher pitched than it ought to have been.
“OK, meet me at the self-checkout once you're done.”
With a curt nod, she spun on her heel and disappeared into the produce section. For a moment, I was stuck standing stock still at the entrance.
“Excuse me.”
A woman brushed past me from behind, I staggered, then transitioned into a clumsy walk as I hastily made my way deeper into the store. I didn’t think it took me that long to gather everything, but as I approached the checkout area, Mafuyu was already waiting for me. She helped gather the small heap of items piled within my arms—I wondered if I should’ve taken a basket—and deposited them within her cart. The line for the self-checkouts wasn’t long, but the store had become busier since we first entered. The sound of the crowds made my head hurt. The items filled two of the three re-usable bags Mafuyu had brought with us. I took the smaller of the two bags and hurried out of the store. Mafuyu wasn’t far behind.
We walked for a while. The bustling noise of the city quieted to a murmur as we entered a residential area. Mafuyu was looking at me. Unsure of what to do or say, I fixed my eyes downwards. A few moments passed, and when I finally snuck a glance up at her, she stopped.
“Are you tired Kanade?”
“Oh, um…”
Mafuyu tilted her head at me, and I felt my face heat up.
“Sorry.”I murmured.
“Let’s go sit down for a while”
She gently led me down the path towards a bench overlooking a deserted playground. As she sat down on the left side of the bench, I inelegantly dropped into the spot beside her, setting my grocery bag down just a smidge too hard, so that it made a thump sound when it hit the ground. I winced, and cast Mafuyu a weak smile. We looked at each other for a moment, before she turned her face towards the sky. I followed her gaze. The sun had dropped low in the sky behind us, casting a warm glow over the playground equipment. The first vestiges of night peeked over the horizon, and the bottom of the sky looked like it had been dipped in violet paint. At the junction where blue met purple, my eyes met soft pink clouds that seemed to glow as the dying sunlight shone through them. This sky, this scene, this person—it was all so warm.
“It’s pretty”
Before I knew it, those simple words that had been reverberating in my heart this whole time had been uttered aloud. Except, I wasn’t the one who uttered them. I looked to my left. Mafuyu, bathed in warm light, lowered her head to gaze sidelong at me. Suddenly, our eyes met. I couldn’t look away.
“Ah, yeah.”
She seemed to consider me, as I stared wide-eyed at her. Then, just as suddenly, she looked away. My insides felt fuzzy. I got a feeling, like, if I were to stand at that moment, my legs would give way and I would melt into a puddle on the floor at Mafuyu’s feet. I would pool atop the concrete and streams of me would run off into the playground sand. I would get sucked up by weeds as I soaked into the cracks in the pavement. It would be a peaceful way to disappear. I didn’t stand up.
We sat together like that for a long while, longer than I could accurately track in my head. The silence was comfortable and warm. I listened to the murmurs of life all around us, the clear singing voices of songbirds, the screeches of children playing in the distance, the muffled murmur of a dinnertime conversation.
“Kanade.”
“Hm?”
“Are you happy?”
“Yes,” I hesitantly turned my head to look at her, “are you?”
Mafuyu looked down at her hands, then at the sky, then, finally, at my face. Her expression remained as inscrutable as ever, yet, her eyes seemed to glimmer with sober clarity.
“I don’t know.” She murmured.
“Alright.”
I glanced upwards again. More than half the sky had taken on a deep indigo hue. A chill wind suddenly blew past, whipping my face and sending a chill down my spine. I sneezed.
“It’s getting dark, let’s get back.”
“Ah, OK.”
I hastily rose from my seat, pins and needles instantly greeting my numb legs and feet. Mafuyu waited patiently for me to regain my bearings before starting to walk. I grabbed the grocery bag at my feet and hurried to her side.
“Will you help me work on a new song once we get back?”
“You should eat and shower first.”
“Ah, after that?”
“Okay.”