Chapter Text
Weddings are weird events, they affect people in different ways. There are those happy to see their peers eventually starting a new, joyful chapter of their lives,those who could not care at all and those who feel left behind, trapped in a steady, immobile estate as people around them seem to be moving forward. Kise fell straight into this latter category.
Whilst he had no doubt Akashi would be the first of the bunch to get married, and even though he felt happy for his friend, he could barely mask the rising envy he was feeling at the moment. Akashi always had it all: born into richness, never deemed to fail. After school he was accepted in one of Japan’s most exclusive (and expensive) universities where he graduated with the highest honors, his father’s position just waiting for him to get that piece of paper.
At least on the human side, Kise thought his life would be a bit better than the one of his former captain, if anything could be imputed to him, it was a certain inability to properly interact with fellow human beings. And yet, this did not stop Akashi Seijuro to find his perfect match and bring him to the altar. A former high school crush, nonetheless.
He knew comparing himself to others and feeling envious about their successes would not lead him to succeed in life, but his insecurities would often lead his thoughts down that lane.
Despite being considered the most handsome within their friend group, he was insecure, always has been, he was just good at masking it. On a closer inspection, his look and physique were probably everything he had and it was not that much to hang on to. When he got into college, he started playing basketball for the team together with Kagami and Aomine but he had to leave it after a knee injury. Despite the hours and money put into physiotherapy, the joint never came back to his full capacity and actually brought him to also sprain his ankle in two separate occasion while attempting not to put too much pressure on it.
His modelling/acting career on the other hand, seemed to be going well, at least up until he got past the 25 years old mark. From that point on, he was getting more secondary and less paid roles, up until he decided it was not worth it anymore. He graduated in Economics and Finance but it was never on the plate to work in that field, he did not like it and his grades were loud about it.
During his last semester, he met a fellow student whose sister was an airplane pilot abroad. Apparently, she was making really good money out of it. Kise toyed with the idea for a bit, in order to get the license, he’d had to study twice as hard than he did in university. However, the prospect of a good salary, coupled with his chance to travel the world for a living was what actually pushed him to become a licensed pilot.
Too bad that road didn’t go as planned either: he applied for different companies overseas but for some reason or another he never made it, so now he was just covering internal flights with a rather low income. But he was now past his thirties, he was tired and somehow, resigned to the idea of having a fair but not sparkly income and to share rent for a undefined period of time.
The day before the wedding, all the participants were having a rehearsal dinner and Kise’s mood was off, he mimicked some smiles and tried to be friendly but that night was hitting him pretty raw. Alongside his closest friends and flatmates, he got to be around some of his old friends which he was not in contact with for quite a long period of time. Among them there was one person that drove him insane, even worst than Akashi and it was Murasakibara.
Now, Kise held no grudge towards him, he had no reason to except that differently from him, he had actually peaked in his career that was also kind of his passion, yet, he could not help but feel bothered. After becoming a head pastry chef in one of Kyoto’s most renown patisseries, by even winning several national and international pastry contests, Murasakibara decided to detatch and open his own activity. Not only was his new venture successful as it became selling dessert to almost rich people only, but it was also branching out as he got another store opening soon in Paris. The wedding cake was going to be one his creations.
Murasakibara Atsushi: the guy living on industrial, standardized, junk food who could not hold himself back in front of anything containing more than 1% of sugar was not only able to hold himself back from eating everything that came out of the oven, but he also bear the patience to perfect it, turning it into a work of art and making a whole load of money out of it. Murasakibarra Atsushi who would prefer napping over, almost everything except desserts, was now waking up everyday at 4.00 AM in the morning to bake and decorate and cash out while Kise was stressing himself out just to barely make it by the end of the month. He could not afford to rent an apartment on his own, let alone starting a whole ass firm.
During the toast hosted by Reo, Kise was absent, his mind was wandering. So much that when Kagami got close to him he startled: “Boring night, uh?”
“Well, at least the wine is good.” replied Kise, swirling the liquid in his flute as to prove his point.
“The food is also dope.” tried to encourage Kagami.
Kise cracked a smile: “Well, actually, yours is better. I don’t like this fancy shit. Like, decomposed pizza… just call it tomato and cheese, dammit!”
Kagami laughed: “I think the correct term is deconstructed.”
“No, no, decomposed . I meen it. Have you eaten the oysters? I am pretty sure that’s what a corpse tastes like.” He took a sip of his wine: “If we were home we’d be eating some actual food and probably make fun at Aomine’s latest romantic adventure.”
“Well, I cannot do much for the food but…” Kagami pointed towards a table across the room where Aomine was chatting with a woman:”…give him five to seven minutes and he’s going to get a slap, square across the face.” he added, amused.
“Purse or hand, what you say, Kagamicchi?”
“Though one. The hand is more practical but I read some of the pick-up notes he settled up for this very occasion so, the purse is a valid option as well.”
“What? He got a list of pickup lines?”
“He was up all night looking for them. And they’re one worse than the other.” Kagami sipped at his drink: “He fell asleep on the kitchen table with the laptop open and Kuroko added some weirder ones here and there”
“Couldn’t you come across the hall and call me?” Kise sounded offended
“It was five in the morning.”
“It would be worth it. I am sure Momocchi would have loved to give her contribute as- wait!” Kise slapped Kagami on the arm, pointing out towards Aomine who was now leaving the table with the woman he was approaching. They seemed to be quite intimate as well.
“Oh my god, did any of that shit work?” Kagami was stunned
“Well, apparently…"
What initiated as something funny, all of the sudden made Kise feel bad about himself, first Murasakibara’s career and now Aomine seemed to walk ten steps ahead of him.
Kagami noticed Kise’s expression and decided to just go straight to the point: “What’s wrong? And before you start with any of the bullcrap, I won’t take “oysters” for an answer.”
“It’s nothing, really.”
“You’ve been gloomy all day and it’s not like you.”
Kise stood silent, pondering his answers.
Kagami wasn’t brilliant but he grew pretty good at understanding his friends’ mood: “Kise, I’m serious. What is happening.”
Kise chugged the last sip of wine before taking a deep breath and eventually deciding to speak up: “It’s just…” he gestured around: “…all of this.”
“Yeah, I didn’t want to come as well. “
“No, it’s not…I'm feeling…inadequate and…borderline inferior.”
Kagami was left silent for some moments, never in years he had heard Kise talk like this about himself or, rather, not in that tone.
“You, inferior? To whom?”
“Oh, come on, Kagamicchi, look around: everyone around here is thriving and I’m here just like, being pitied from everyone.” he stopped the waiter to get he and Kagami another glass of wine: “You know what Midorimacchi said to me? That at least I got a job in this economy!”
“Oh, so fuckin’ rich coming from a doctor who believes in horoscopes. Don’t give it too much importance, he’s not known to be that nice, and I think he didn’t even mean it to be an insult anyways.”
“But he’s right though.” Kise took yet another sip from his glass and was now starting to feel dizzy: “What happened to me, Kagamicchi? Just few years ago I got people following me and begging to be with me…” another sip of alcohol went down his throat: “…now no one notices me any more and the few times it happens they always comment on how older I got. Last Tuesday I passenger even dared to tell me I didn’t look bad for a fifty year old!” he shook his head: “I was already a failure but at least I still got the looks. Well, at least I thought. I’m turning ugly.”
“Bullshit.” Kagami could not help but snicker at that comment: “If you’re ugly than what does this make me?”
“Shit the fuck up, Kagamicchi. You look handsome and you are wonderful, in and out.”
Kagami almost choked on his wine, that compliment sounded sincere and Kise seemed to be on a roll:” Damn, you cook like heaven, you’re one of Japan’s top basketball players and even volonteer as a firefighter…”
Kise’s cheeks were red as he glanced lovingly at Kagami: “…on top of that, you’re one of the best people anyone can ask to have around. How can I even match?”
Kagami scratched the back of his neck, he was feeling flustered:” You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
“For what? Being a failure in any field of my life? Even Murasakibara has more success than me…the guy who bit on a soap bar thinking it was white chocolate! Jeez, and now Akashi and even Aomine are getting a better sentimental life than I’ve ever had and…let’s be real…never will. Who’d want to date a loser like me?”
Kise was going to take another sip of wine but Kagami gently covered his glass, taking it away from him: “Ok, I think you’ve had enough for tonight…” he said, putting the glass down on the table. He took Kise’s hands in his and stared at him in the eye: “You have nothing to envy to anyone. I’ve been close to you for years now and believe me when I say that you’re one of the people I look up to the most in my life.”
“You’re saying that just to make me feel better.”
“Maybe but I actually mean it. You don’t realize it because you’re expecting too much out of yourself. I saw you always working your ass off: in high school you were wrestling between studying and practice and work and you did never, ever give up. And you kept on going even after that.”
He clenched their hands closer together, bringing their faces in close proximity:” Don’t let that inner voice ever let you down. Anyone would be blessed to have you by their side.”
Kise tired to debate, even though he felt a bit less bitter about himself: “Well, it does not seem like it. My dates don’t last.”
“Maybe you haven’t found the right people…yet.”
It was 7.30 in the morning, on the wedding day and Aomine did, in fact, have success with the woman he talked to the previous night. He was so happy that after she left he felt the need to make everyone know, including Kagami.
He didn’t even knock as he ran straight to Kagami’s door, bashing it open: “ I got laid! Whoo-hoo!” Kagami was startled by this sudden interruption, he threw his pillow at him: “You’re out of your goddamn mind!” he growled as Aomine dodged the shot: “And you’re just envious! I’m so going to tell Satsuki she was wrong!” with that, he went out just how he got in, in a careless rush.
As the door closed, Kise came out from under the blanket: “Do you think he noticed me here?”
The aftermath felt weird, not because they didn’t want to be together but because their position now was rather odd.
In the last years their friends group became much more like a family, and for them to step over that strong friendship bond seemed weird, especially for Kagami who, among the five of them, was the one who seemed the least interested in building a relationship whatsoever.
They awkwardly sat on the bed, not really knowing what to say now that the little alcohol help was totally gone.
“Well, that was wonderful, thank you, I’ma leave now!” Kise stood up now in complete embarrassment, he didn’t want to bring the conversation any further. He feared that what happened actually was a one night stand but his feelings from the previous night were still vivid and the idea that Kagami would not reciprocate scared him. Also, the fact that they lived across the hallway and were defiantly going to spend time together, would make the return to a state of simple friendship hard.
“What? Are you kidding me?” Kagami jumped off the bed running behind Kise: “Do you regret it?”
“No, you idiot!” Kise slapped him on the shoulder before sliding down to the floor, his head between his hands:”No, I…I… dammit! I liked it and that’s the problem!”
Kagami was genuinely confused at the statement: “So, why are you running away?”
It was at this point that the brain fog in Kise’s head started to fade: “Wait. Do you, do you want to continue this… I don’t know, thing?”
Kagami sat down on the floor in front of him: “Yes. We did have fun, didn’t we?” Kise didn’t seem totally convinced yet: “Listen, we don’t have to make it official, we can give this a go for some time and go back in case it doesn’t work out. On the other hand, if you want to end this today, just tell me, I promise this won’t impact our friendship.”
“We need to be careful. Do you remember the mess when Momocchi and Kurokocchi first broke up?”
Kagami rolled his eyes, that time was rather unfortunate since everyone of them didn’t know which side to pick: “Well, they’ve been on and off for years now, maybe they can get used to us as well. And I won’t allow this to happen.” he took Kise’s hand:”So, are you in?”
Kise smiled, leaning towards to kiss him: “Challenge accepted.”
They got up from the floor and gathered their clothes since they were supposed to get ready for the celebration.
“Uhm, Kagamicchi…”
“Yes?”Kagami turned, slightly alarmed that Kise was already going to have another anxious episode
“Thank you for covering me with Aominecchi. I know it was though not to snap right back at him”
Kagami chuckled: “Oh, I was so tempted to snap back. But throwing a pillow at him was equally satisfying.”