Work Text:
"If I don't say this now, I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take"
- Look After You by The Fray
Boruto knew this was a terrible idea.
When he could no longer hide his plans from his master, Sasuke scolded him several times about the risk he would take. It will be worth it. Boruto said to himself.
Maybe Sasuke really should have stopped Boruto. Maybe feeling a little more lonely and guilt would be better than all the anxiety he was having to deal with at that moment.
His hands were sweating cold and his heart was beating so hard he could hear it perfectly.
Well, it's Sarada's birthday, but the one who deserves congratulations for this stupid idea is me. Boruto stopped himself from banging his head against the wall.
There was no turning back. He was there in her house and he couldn't leave without seeing the birthday girl.
It was March 31st. Sarada was turning 17. And Boruto wanted to give her a present.
He planned everything in his mind. He could easily dodge people during sunset with a disguise. Then, he would hide in Sarada's room until she went to bed. Sakura and ChoCho probably planned a party for her and that would delay her bedtime, but he would wait. He would wait for all eternity if necessary. All he wanted was to see her face when he handed her the little package he had made himself. One smile from her would be enough to strengthen him for a long time.
Boruto was right. But the idea of throwing a surprise party for Sarada came from Sumire. And it was a disaster. Sarada already knew that everyone had organized themselves and that her mother would take her to ChoCho's house, where the fun would happen. No one could have imagined that the only fun Sarada could have that day was unattainable given the current outlook. Sarada would just like to get home and see her father and Boruto in the living room, hug each of them and cry for two hours without stopping.
Everything was so difficult. Sarada was exhausted. She even tried to pretend she was happy with the party, but Sakura could tell right away that her daughter was not happy. The party ended earlier than the guests expected and Sarada thanked her mother with a brief smile for putting an end to that psychological torture.
Sarada opened the door to her house after 10 p.m. and realized that her wish had not come true when she saw that no one was waiting for her in the living room. This was the price she was paying for deluding herself.
Sakura saw the disappointment in her daughter's eyes and felt her heart break. She closed the door and carefully approached the girl she had once carried in her womb and who was now the same height as her. Time passed so quickly, Sakura thought. She kissed Sarada on the forehead and felt like carrying her in her arms as if she were still a baby.
"Sweetheart, I know you're tired. Go to your room and rest, okay?"
Sarada forced herself to smile. Her mother deserved a smile from that ungrateful daughter who couldn't be happy about a surprise party. Sarada felt so guilty for making her mother worry so much about her.
"Thank you, mom. For today."
For a second, Sakura saw the lost look Sasuke used to have when they were just kids. It bothered her so much. Sasuke should have been there. Sasuke would know how to make their daughter smile easily. Sasuke would know how to comfort her.
But he wasn't. And Sakura had to try her best to be strong enough for Sarada.
"I will always want the best for you, my daughter. Always."
The smile came easily this time. More than anyone, Sarada trusted her mother and knew that Sakura would never leave her helpless.
"I love you, mom."
Sakura felt her chest lighten a little.
"I love you more, Sarada."
And the birthday girl went to her room. The feeling of defeat built up in the Uchiha's bones. Shouldn't it be nice to turn 17?
Sarada opened the door and closed it automatically, as she did every night. She didn't take her eyes off the floor and turned on the light switch, took off her shoes and sighed. She should take a shower before going to bed, but she didn't have the strength.
Then, something told her to lift her chin. Her sixth sense usually didn't fail her and Sarada couldn't believe what she saw when she raised her head.
Boruto. Boruto was standing in her room. Near the open window. The wind ruffled his blond hair and the moonlight reflected in his blue eye. His hands were shaking, but his gaze was fixed on her. He seemed so ethereal. Almost like a ghost.
Boruto was there. Boruto was there? That didn't make sense. At first she thought it was a hallucination. A genjutsu, maybe. She was crazy. Her mother was right, she should see a psychologist urgently.
"Boruto?"
Boruto smiled. He didn't show his teeth, but he smiled. A mischievous smile, like he used to do when they were kids.
"For a moment you thought I was a ghost, didn't you?"
He was really there. Sarada stopped herself from freaking out, she would have time for that later. Now she needed to answer that smug boy who had invaded her room.
"You're standing in my room like a statue and you expected me not to think I was going crazy?"
Boruto was embarrassed. The idea was so stupid. But Sarada was here now and he had to go through with the plan.
"I'm sorry. And happy birthday."
Sarada watched the blond boy open his coat and take out a package. For a few seconds, Sarada's eyes wandered over Boruto's chest revealed by his unbuttoned shirt and she scolded herself. This was no time to reflect on Boruto's good looks. Her cheeks couldn't turn red now.
Boruto raised the hand that was holding the package and took two steps forward. The moonlight stopped illuminating him and Sarada could see the dark circles on his eyes close. How long had it been since he had slept well?
"It's for you. I hope you like it."
The blue eye anxiously awaited the Uchiha girl's next moves. Sarada felt her brain accelerate like a race car as she took the gift. Why was he there? How? Wasn't he afraid of being killed by Sakura? What was that gift? How was he?
"You didn't need to..."
"Yes, I did." Boruto interrupted her.
Sarada wanted to hide. She felt very vulnerable at that moment. His voice was so deep, he had matured so much. They really weren't children anymore. Boruto seemed to be stronger, taller, more charming. He was already a man. And she felt like a scared girl. She knew he was following every reaction and she was so nervous. Not because of the gift. Boruto's presence in her room was too much to handle at that moment and the weight of his gaze made her feel so small and yet so important. She didn't want him to think she wasn't happy about his visit. She was definitely worried, but she would never be sad to see him.
She opened the package and felt a small black velvet box in her fingers. The box contained two earrings. Earrings studded with two precious stones that glowed red. Red like her eyes when she activated the Sharingan.
Sarada felt dizzy. She hadn't expected so much affection in that gift.
Boruto didn't see a smile on Sarada's face and that alerted him. Something was wrong.
"Sarada, you didn't like it?"
Fast as a hawk, she lifted her chin and answered in a desperate tone.
"No, I liked it! I just..."
Boruto stared at her. She could smell the anxiety in his eyes. The last thing she wanted was to disappoint him.
"I'm embarrassed, that's it. I didn't expect to see you here in my room today and receive a gift."
Boruto was almost regretting this madness. Where was he thinking? Of course this would scare her. He had been hiding for months with Master Sasuke. And now, he showed up in her room like that? He was such an idiot.
"I'm sor..."
"No, don't apologize. I'm very happy with the gift. Thank you."
And then he saw her smile. An embarrassed smile. And her cheeks blushed slightly. Boruto's heart raced. He couldn't help but smile too.
"I'm glad you liked it. As soon as I saw it, I remembered you."
Sarada's curiosity and guilt took over for a moment.
"You didn't spend a lot of money on them, did you? How did you buy them? Did you have money?"
Boruto almost laughed at Sarada's nervousness with those questions. She always thought of every detail and he loved the way she thought.
"Don't worry, Sarada. Master Sasuke and I helped a man along the way and he thanked us with some precious stones."
The mention of her father's name made Sarada's eyes widen.
"How is he?"
Sasuke was no longer a tree. Boruto managed to free his master and now they were struggling to figure out how to end omnipotence. But Boruto was a bit worried about his master. Sasuke was quite down these days. A few days ago, Boruto heard Sasuke having a nightmare at night and calling for Sakura. He seemed to be in a moment of intense suffering, but Boruto knew he wouldn't talk about it. Sasuke never talked much about his relationship with his wife, but Boruto could see how important Sakura was to him.
"He's fine, Sarada. He always talks about you. He misses you and your mother a lot."
Boruto felt terrible for hiding the truth, but he didn't have the courage to reveal Sasuke's true condition to his daughter.
"Actually, he asked me to give you this."
Boruto took something else out of his coat. A piece of paper. Sarada was confused.
A letter. Sasuke Uchiha had sent her a letter.
Sarada was so happy when she took the letter with her other hand. Her father had remembered her birthday! But soon her joy gave way to a question: why hadn't he come to see her too?
"Did he know you were coming to Konoha?"
"Yes."
Her father would never be so reckless, Sarada thought. Of course he wouldn't do that. Even if it meant not seeing his daughter on her birthday, Sasuke would never put his own selfish feelings first.
"And he agreed?"
"No, but he didn't stop me."
Now, Sarada was confused. Boruto came to see her on her birthday just to give her a gift? What if someone saw him leaving her house? What if that made things more complicated for him?
"You took a big risk coming here, Boruto."
"It was worth it."
Sarada's breath hitched. Her room suddenly felt warm, despite the window being open and the wind being cold. In a burst of courage, Sarada took a step forward. Boruto was so close to her now.
"So, you just came to give me these gifts?"
"Yes. No, I mean, no. I..."
The dark eyes stared at him. Boruto didn't want to say anything stupid that could ruin this night. Everything had been going well so far.
"I missed you, Sarada."
Boruto felt his body float as he said those words. Sarada felt sparks flying in her chest.
"I missed you too."
They stared at each other for endless seconds. Sarada interrupted the exchange of glances to place the earrings and the letter on the desk right next to her.
"But, coming here is dangerous and you know it..."
Boruto thought for a moment if he could be honest with Sarada. He concluded that she deserved the truth.
"It won't happen again."
A hint of sadness took over her. But she tried to hide it, as always. Of course, she couldn't fool the blond boy in front of her.
"Well, can I ask why?"
Boruto bit his tongue.
"I can't tell you. For your own safety."
"Please, Boruto, this is stupid."
"Sarada, I can't."
Not being able to tell her the truth was slowly killing him. Boruto felt his heart tighten in his chest.
"Okay, so I guess you and my father are going to embark on a suicide mission and you came here to say goodbye, right?"
"No, I... Sarada."
Sarada took another step forward without taking her eyes off him. Now Boruto could feel her breath so close to his chest that he thought he would melt.
"Yes, Boruto?"
She had no idea how mesmerizing her gaze was. And that mocking tone didn't help. He had always thought she was terribly beautiful, but now she was seductive. It took a lot of self-control on his part not to think about what it would be like if they could forget all their problems for a while and he could taste her lips. He couldn't think about what it would be like to hold her waist and run his hands over the long legs that Sarada showed off in those shorts. No, he would go crazy if he started thinking things like that. He wouldn't recover.
"Don't make this harder than it already is."
Sarada shivered and lowered her head for a moment. She knew it was hard. Shannaro! She just didn't want to feel so alone without him. Couldn't he see it?
"Well, I'm sorry if I can't pretend to be happy or calm. I just wish you didn't have to hide, Boruto. I wish everything was different." Anger and sadness overflowed in the Uchiha's words.
Boruto stared at her silently. He tried to digest that moment. He didn't want Sarada to be so sad and he was frustrated knowing that he still couldn't change that. But he would. Boruto would save her from that situation. He would protect her. He would never break that promise. Even if he could never see her again. Even if it cost him his own life. Nothing else mattered. Everyone's lives depended on Boruto and he couldn't be so selfish. That was the last time he could let himself be so selfish.
Sarada stared at him too. And she couldn't read his thoughts. That irritated her. He had changed so much in these three years that were now more than four. Sarada couldn't hold back and touched the scar that marked Boruto's eye. The proof that she couldn't protect him. The proof of her failure.
Boruto flinches when she touches him. She immediately takes her hand away from his eye, afraid she might have hurt him, but he holds her tightly. He keeps his gaze fixed on her. He's not the biggest fan of that scar, but he doesn't regret it. He never regretted it. He wore that scar with pride. Sarada's fingers tremble as they caress Boruto's injured eye. She loved looking into those blue eyes so much. She wishes she could go back in time and be a child with him again.
"I'll never forgive myself for making you lose your eye."
Sarada's sincerity surprises him. And he immediately feels the need to clarify something for her.
"It wasn't your fault, Sarada. I'd lose that eye again if I had to. I'd lose both eyes. I'd happily go blind if it meant protecting you."
Sarada's cheeks turned red. He was proud that he could still make her feel like that with just a few words.
But Sarada wasn't going to let him win.
She surprises him and rests her hands on his shoulders to stand on her tiptoes. Sarada brings her mouth closer to his face so slowly that Boruto can hear the milliseconds passing. The trail of her mouth remains on his cheek.
Boruto feels like he's on fire. He's sure he looks like a tomato right now. Sarada's mouth is five centimeters from his and it would be so easy... If he doesn't run away soon, he might really regret it because of his non-existent self-control.
Sasuke will kill him if he finds out that Boruto almost kissed his daughter, he's 100% sure.
Sarada pulls away from Boruto and watches his flushed face with a smile that she tries to keep it to herself. Maybe he wasn't as immune to her as she thought after all. Maybe she wasn't the only one who felt that way. She didn't want to deny that feeling anymore. Sarada was tired of thinking that it was one-sided.
Then Sarada remembered. We'll talk later, Boruto said.
"Boruto... What were you going to tell me that day? When you said we'd talk later?"
Boruto went from red as a tomato to white. It wasn't time. He wasn't ready. He didn't even know if it was worth it. I mean, if she really felt the same way, he'd be fine and then he could finally get this weight off his chest, but... It would be so much harder to stay away from her if he knew the truth.
In fact, they already knew. Deep down, they knew it wasn't just a friendly affection. Not anymore. And Sarada knew Boruto wouldn't risk everything to see another girl on her birthday. And Boruto knew Sarada didn't look at anyone the way she looked at him.
Telling the truth would make it too big. And everything was all so dark. They didn't want to lose the clarity that that uncertainty illuminated in the future. When it get safe, he'd tell her. He'd kiss her. And he'd discover every inch of her body if she'd let him. He's going to make her so happy. He's going to find a way.
There was so much he wanted to say to her. But now that Sarada was finally in front of him and there was no one to interrupt them, the words disappeared. Boruto could only look at her and think about how much he missed being by her side.
Sarada regretted the question as soon as she asked it.
"It's still too early..."
"You really don't have to answer." Sarada rushed forward and interrupted him without meaning to.
Boruto smiled. And showed his teeth. Sarada felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
"You know, don't you?" Boruto looks at her tenderly.
The continuation of that sentence hangs in the air. And she understands. It's amazing how they understand each other.
"I know. Me too."
Now, they both smile. And Sarada hugs him. Boruto holds her tightly. Everything feels so right. He doesn't want to let her go, but he needs to.
"I need to go now, Sarada."
She lets go of him against her will and looks away.
"You always do." She whispers.
He takes her hand. She holds it and looks at him again.
"You know I didn't want it to be like this."
"I didn't either, but knowing that doesn't erase the hole that's left in my heart every time you leave."
Boruto feels a brief urge to curse the universe for making him have to walk away from her.
"I don't want to go and leave you like this."
Sarada sighs and smells desire and guilt.
"I'm not going to ask you to stay, I know you can't."
With his eyes locked on her face, Boruto brings her hand that he was holding to his mouth and kisses it carefully. She watches him without blinking.
And then he lets go of her hand and walks towards her window, ready to go. But before he leaves her, he turns to look at her one more time.
"Happy birthday, Sarada."
She tries to smile. She wants him to remember her smiling.
"Be careful, Boruto."
He disappears through her window. Left her all alone. Again.
There is no goodbye. They would never have the courage to say goodbye to each other.