Adult Content Warning
This work could have adult content. If you continue, you have agreed that you are willing to see such content.
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Nelladinadid Curdle-Thwarple-Hatch by Stinkerbelly
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 Nov 2025
Tags
Summary
“So,” Rolanda Hooch said, “Severus. I was just thinking-you really ought to meet my cousin Greta.”
Severus froze.
“She’s clever,” Hooch offered. “Wicked sense of humor. You two would get on famously.”
A terrible silence.
Severus cleared his throat with subtle panic. “Ah-no. Thank you. Actually….I-I’m quite-my time is quite fully accounted for, these days-in that regard.”
Hooch tilted her head. “Come now. You’re not seeing anyone, are you?”
“I-” He glanced, involuntarily, at Hermione. “I-am. Involved. Romantically. With someone.”
There was a beat.
“Someone who exists,” he added.
Minerva blinked at him over her spectacles. “Someone who exists?” she repeated neutrally.
“A very real,” he added quickly, “extremely tangible, real, live person.”
Flitwick let out a suppressed wheeze.
“And what’s their name?” Minerva asked sweetly.
Severus hesitated for a full beat too long. His mouth opened, but no sound came out.
Hermione bit into her orange slice with quiet, ravenous delight.
There was a long pause.
“Nelladina…did,” he blurted, then winced. “Curdle...Thwarple-Hatch.”
The room fell entirely, catastrophically silent.