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Mutsuki heard a piercing scream.
The first thing he noticed was his ears began to ring due to the high pitch sound. The second thing he noticed, was who's voice it was. His eyes snapped open, as he flung the covers away from his body and fumbled out of his bed, making his way to the location of the cry. Mutsuki knew exactly who it was that was screaming, as it was a sound he was unfortunately all to familiar with.
As he made his way there, many thoughts came to mind. How bad was it? How much did he see? Was he going to be OK? Mutsuki hoped all these question would be answered for him, but he knew that some of them were answers that may not sit well with him. As he heard the scream dying down, he shook those thoughts from his mind, and quickened his pace. He then found himself face to face with a door. But not just anyone's door.
He took a deep breath and knocked on the door a total of three times and waited. He heard someone mumbling from inside the room, so he knocked again followed by his voice.
"Urie?" He said softly, "Urie, are you OK?"
He could definitely hear that Urie was saying something, but he couldn't make out what he was saying. He heard the word 'own'. But what does that mean?
"Urie, I didn't hear what you said." He responded, trying his best not to sound pushy. "Is it OK if I come in?"
He heard him shifting around in his room, which Mutsuki thought was a good thing. That meant Urie was coming to the door to let him in, right? When he heard foot steps making their way to Mutsuki's direction, he felt that his theory was confirmed. Until he heard a fist bang at the opposite of the door.
"U-Urie." Mutsuki stuttered, "Are you OK-"
"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE." Urie barked.
The dark skinned boy instantly jumped back from the door. The sudden yell made Mutsuki feel a small dose off adrenaline making its way though out his body, before almost going away completely. A moment went by before Mutsuki could hear Urie's body slump down to the bottom of the door, followed by soft cries. Mutsuki decided to sit at his side of the door, with his face looking directly at the wooden frame. If someone was to remove the door, it would be as if the pair were looking directly at each other.
"Urie, you know I'm not going to leave you alone." Mutsuki said, softly. "You don't deserve to be alone. Especially now."
Mutsuki always did his best to choose his words carefully. One wrong word and Urie would either refuse to talk or just isolate himself completely from everyone. Mutsuki understood that that was not something anyone should have to go through, so whether he was tired, busy or somewhere else, he would do his best to be there for him as much as he could.
The silence between the pair was making Mutsuki feel more nervous, almost as if he had forgotten his lines in a school play. The anxiety continuously clawing inside of him, resulting in Mutsuki not being able to get a word out. Fortunately, he heard a voice from the other side of the door.
"... I just... I just want them to stop..." Urie said.
Mutsuki knew exactly what he was talking about. They haunted Urie on nights like these. When the rain is constantly trickling down from outside, and the wind is pounding at the windows, hard, as if someone was trying to get in. On these nights Urie Kuki, the new squad leader and strongest member of the Quinx Squad would dream about Shirazu Ginshi and how he had failed him.
"Urie..."
Mutsuki felt lost. He didn't know what to say to him. Any other time, Urie would brush it off or simply refuse to talk about anything, but now he was breaking down. Mutsuki gathered as much strength as he could to try and find the right words to say to Urie. He took a deep breath in and exhaled steadily.
"Urie..." He began, "I know that having these types of dreams... can be a horrible thing to experience, and that it feels like you can't escape them... but you have people in your life who can listen to you and help you in moving past everything."
After a short moment of no response, Mutsuki heard movement from the other side of the door. If he had to make a guess, he'd say that it sounded as if Urie was getting up from the floor. A few seconds later, Mutsuki was surprised to hear the door open and Urie standing in front of him with tears streaming down his face.
"...It's not fair." Urie whispered, as if he didn't want anyone but Mutsuki to hear him. "It's not-"
Mutsuki could tell that Urie was trying his best to hold back any other tears that were swelling up in his eyes, but Urie was failing to do so. The green haired boy knew that Urie wouldn't allow him to see him like that any longer and would probably close the door again. So he did what he thought was right at the time.
Mutsuki stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Urie's shoulder, embracing him in a warm hug. Urie instantly froze up, unable to realize what was happening. After a while, Urie began to wrap his arms around Mutsuki's waist, squeezing him slightly tighter than he expected. Urie then placed his head on Mutsuki's shoulder, doing what he could to avoid Mutsuki in seeing his puffy red face all over again.
"I know it's not fair." Mutsuki sighed. "It's not fair at all."
Mutsuki began to hold Urie a little tighter too, which made Urie question if he was talking about himself or him. Mutsuki then pushed Urie back a little bit so he was not facing him. Mutsuki could tell that Urie was troubling to maintain eye contact, but continued with his speech none the less.
"But we shouldn't give up because of it. If we do that, then that means any future in which we've achieved more or found true happiness for ourselves, will never exist at all. We deserve to make it to that goal and doing it with the people who love and care about you, instead of by yourself, can help make you feel that you aren't alone in this world."
Urie responded by a small nod before pulling Mutsuki into another hug. This time the hug wasn't too tight or even too stiff. This time it was more softer and warm, which made Mutsuki feel as if his heart was going to burst out at any minute.
"I miss him... so much." Urie finally said. Mutsuki could hear that Urie's voice had become much lower, which made him think that Urie was trying his best to avoid crying any longer.
"I know you do. I miss him a lot too."
Shirazu's death affected everyone. He was their partner, their friend, their brother. It was hard not to think about him on a daily basis, and it was even harder for anyone to not pass Shirazu's room and feel completely hollow inside. But they couldn't give up. They needed to keep up their strength and move past everything that has happened.
"Can... can we stay like this a little longer... (please don't leave)." Urie mumbled.
"Yeah..." Mutsuki replied, "We can stay like this for as long as you want."
But they were also allowed times where they could grieve and mourn their loss. If they were also lucky enough, they wouldn't have to do it alone.