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Reki has a problem.
A huge one, that is.
This problem has been eating him away since before he even realized it. It’s been the sole purpose for the lack of sleep he’s gotten. The reason why his teachers need to keep calling him out in class for zoning out. The reason why he’s been so nauseous lately.
You see, he’s grown very fond of his dear best friend. From the day he saw Langa walk in as the new boy in his class, there’s been a bit of a… flame that has been building up inside of him.
Now, he truly doesn’t know if this is normal. However, he has never felt like this around anyone or anything before. His face betrays him by heating up whenever Langa says something stupidly sweet about him, his heart races at an abnormal speed whenever he’s around him, and there’s this weirdly-funny feeling he gets in his stomach when he stares at his best friend for too long. Or vice versa, when Langa stares at him for too long.
It’s similar the feeling you’re supposed to get around girls, you know?
Wait, what ? Scratch that. That’s his boy best friend.
And he has liked girls before! Does it ever escalate from an unrequited crush? No, but that isn’t what this is about.
He doesn’t know if there’s something wrong with him. Could he be ill? He’s already considered seeing a doctor or, perhaps, a therapist. These thoughts have him constantly tossing and turning on his bed every night. What should he do? He’s tried every solution ever! He even tried becoming less touchy with Langa, but Langa can’t seem to cease that on his end.
If he can’t get the answer himself, he needs advice from someone else.
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Reki stands in front of Sia La Luce after knocking on its front door. He’s wearing his typical yellow hoodie even though he’s sweating like crazy. The sun has already set a while ago and it's a humid night. It’s currently 10:00PM, which is an hour past closing time. However, he knows Joe is always there cleaning up the restaurant. He believed that it was best to talk to Joe when there’s no one else around.
What is he even going to say to him? ‘ Hey! I get this really weird feeling around my best friend and I’m starting to think I like him a bit too much’ ? Oh gosh. What if Joe laughs at him for this? He would have every reason to as he sounds utterly stupid. Wait. Even worse, what if Joe tells the others? He wouldn’t do that… right?
He really should’ve thought this through before showing up here. At least come up with a way to start the conversation. No time to ponder on a thought now as he’s quickly pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of the door opening in front of him.
Reki looks up at Joe, who’s standing right in front of him, chef uniform still on. Reki gulps nervously.
“Oh! Hey kid. It’s a bit late so I already put the leftovers away. I’m sorry.” Joe explained with an apologetic smile.
Leftovers? Oh right. Joe probably thinks Reki is here for food like he typically is when he is with the rest of the gang. Like Joe said, it is a bit late. Should Reki even be bothering him right now? He’s still doubting whether he should even be going to him for advice on his weird feelings.
Oh right. He needs to say something. “Um. Yeah. Hah, sorry. That’s not really what I came here for.” He says in a quieter than usual voice. Joe raises his right eyebrow, as if to say, ‘ go on’ .
“Can I talk to you about something? I need advice.” He asks. Plain and simple. That’s a good way to start it.
Joe gives a rather surprised expression. “Yeah- I mean- I just finished cleaning so I’m not busy at the moment. You can come in.” He says. Joe turns around and walks into the restaurant. Reki takes that as his cue to follow him. He can see that, yes, Joe has finished cleaning.
The restaurant looks different at night. There’s no light shining in through the windows, and it brings out the warm tone of the lights hanging on the ceiling above him. He’s been here during night time before, but always with his other friends. Likely why it feels strangely quiet.
Joe walks over to a table in the middle of the restaurant and pulls out a chair. “Take a seat.” He offered. Reki does as he’s told. It feels like a crime even sitting at this table because of how clean and polished it is.
Reki keeps his eyes locked on the ground. Right . He has to speak. He’s the one who came knocking at 10pm after the restaurant had already closed.
Joe speaks up. “Is everything okay? Did something happen? You seem a bit.. out of it.” Joe says with a concerned tone. Reki looks up at him and gives an awkward smile before speaking.
“Yeah- I’m okay? I think?” Reki says like he's not even sure himself. He doesn’t like talking about feelings. Langa always makes him do that, but it helps sometimes. Langa always listens to what he has to say and understands him.
He’s thinking about Langa again.
Reki continues. “Is- is it normal to be very nervous around my best friend?” He asked. Reki’s leg starts slightly bouncing under the table. “I-I-I mean, not in a way in which I’m scared of him. But Langa makes me feel these feelings that I’ve never felt before and those feelings are what scares me. I really enjoy being around him and it’s like I can’t let go of him now that I’ve got him.” Reki rambles.
There's a pause.
Shit. Did he say too much? He can’t even fully remember what he said. He’s never stated those feelings or thoughts out loud before, let alone dare to linger on those thoughts for too long in front of others.
He looks at Joe to see his reaction. He expected a repulsed expression on his face. However, he’s met with a soft look. He can’t tell what Joe is thinking at the moment.
Joe lets out a soft chuckle. “You really like him, don’t you?” Joe asks, though it sounds more like a statement.
Reki averts his eyes back down to the table. “Who? Langa? Of course. He’s my best friend. And he’s- he means a lot to me.” Reki replies quietly. “Is there something wrong with me?” Reki’s voice shakes, Reki looks back up at him, waiting for a response.
Joe’s gentle smile drops slightly and he lets out a sigh. “Reki… listen. Hm, how do I put this?” He pauses and seems to think about his next words carefully. “I’ve been in your situation before. And it’s scary to deal with. But… have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, you like Langa in a ‘more-than-platonic’ type of way?” Joe inquired slowly.
What?
What?!
Reki goes wide-eyed and tenses up in his seat. He can’t think clearly right now. Did Joe mean it in that way? Maybe Reki heard him wrong. No, he’s almost completely sure that he heard that loud and clear. Does Joe think he likes Langa like that?!
…Does he like Langa like that?
This is too much. Langa is a boy and Reki is a boy. Why does Joe ask a question like that so casually and calmly? Is he not weirded out?
“What- what kind of question is that?! Who just casually asks that? Langa and I are both boys, ya know?” Reki exclaims. He doesn’t mean to get all defensive, but how could he not when he feels… exposed? Reki fidgets with his bracelet.
Joe raises his eyebrows, almost looking a bit shocked. The smile that was there before has little to no presence now. “This may come as a bit of a shock, but boys can like boys.” Joe states in a modulated tone.
“Yeah- dude I know, I’m not stupid. But I’ve only ever liked girls. It would make no sense for me to like a boy out of the blue.” Reki quips defensively. He feels rather scared of himself at the moment. “Wait. You said you’ve been in my situation before. What… what do you mean by that?” Reki asks curiously.
Joe lets out a small laugh and sighs gently. “I’ve liked my best friend. Was obsessed with them actually. Do you wanna know what they were?” Joe asks. Reki tilts his head slightly. “He was a boy. And yet I still date many women.”
Reki lets out a surprised noise. He never would’ve thought that. Joe constantly has girls swarming after him and Reki has indeed seen him swarm after them as well. Does he really understand how he feels?
Joe shifts in his seat before continuing. “Kid, there’s nothing wrong with liking both. Many people like both genders. I like both, is there something wrong with me?” Joe said.
Reki’s hands fidget in his lap. “No. But- like.” Reki pauses. For once in a lifetime, it finally clicks.
“Holy shit. I like Langa.” Reki confessed in a terrified tone. He never thought he would ever say those words out loud or even think them.
Joe laughs. “Congratulations. You realized your feelings sooner than I did. You should be glad.” Joe says in a joking manner.
Reki likes Langa. Langa is a boy. Reki is in love with his best friend. These are all new thoughts to him and he’s not sure how to deal with them. Suddenly another thought hits him. “Wait. But- Langa definitely doesn’t feel the same way.” Reki says rather sadly.
Joe seems to open his mouth to say something and then quickly shuts it.
Reki stares at him and narrows his eyes. “What do you know? Do you know something that I don’t?” Reki asks accusingly. Has Langa told Joe something? He feels a bit lost.
“Well, no. But I would just say to not make those conclusions so quickly.” Joe teases. Reki can’t help but tilt his head in confusion.
He also can’t believe he finally knows why he’s been feeling this way. That ‘funny feeling’ in his stomach- were those just butterflies?! He acts this way around Langa because he likes him romantically. Suddenly everything makes sense now. The lingering glances, the sweating, people in school asking if they’re a ‘thing’. It feels like the scrambled puzzle pieces that his life has felt like lately have finally decided to come together.
“But seriously,” Joe starts. “I’m proud of you. And no matter how this plays out, you have my full support.” He says softly.
Reki smiles, feeling comfortable and seen. “Um- thank you. Seriously.” Reki glances at the clock on the wall behind Joe. “Oh. It’s a bit too late now.” He jokes.
Reki stands up from his chair and Joe follows his actions. “Definitely. Get some sleep. I take it as you haven’t gotten much of that lately?” Joe says teasingly.
Reki’s cheeks warm up rapidly. “I- bro- dude!” He stutters from embarrassment. He sighs and smiles. Joe starts laughing lightheartedly.
Joe starts walking towards the door “Alright, goodnight. Thank you for trusting me with… ya know. I do hope my advice was helpful in a way-” he’s cut off as Reki decides to go after him and wrap him in a tight hug.
“Thank you so much.” Reki mumbled quietly into the front of Joe’s shirt. He feels a hand pat him on the head and much bigger arms reciprocating the hug.
“Of course. Anytime, kid.” Joe returned.
Reki doesn’t know how he’s going to go on with his life from here as he has learned many things about himself within the span of a few minutes. But what he does know is that he’ll be able to sleep peacefully and no longer in confusion. He’ll see Langa tomorrow, and then the next, and then the following days after that.
It’s a freeing feeling. And he’s glad he didn’t have to deal with those feelings by himself.