Chapter Text
Waking up felt... Unsatisfying. Almost disturbing, I had no idea what I had woken up from, I don't remeber falling asleep? However, as I was processing all my confusion it got clarified by a voice I had not noticed.
"Ooh good you've awoken, just take some deep breaths. You're probably sore, so just try and relax as you get adjusted to your body again."
I almost had a chance to ask a question, however trying to articulate myself proved difficult. So far she was right, I did feel super sore, but no matter my lack of action they continued their dialogue.
"It may be a bit hard coming from me, especially since I have little to no clue what you truly went through, and one of your classmates has been very eager to meet up with you once more, so I will leave you two alone untill further help is needed. Remember, you can always click the button next to you to call me back in!"
And just like that, they were gone. In their place, sat... Someone. They stared at me like I was a tiger on display at a zoo, scared but entranced by some form of novelty. After a moment, they opened their mouth.
"Oh my, shuichi it's really you? Youre awake, oh you don't know how glad I am, how glad we all are.. "
Just seeing them started the gears in my mind, a sort of past we shared. All the growth, betrayal, comfort, death, acceptance and denial all washed over me in just one moment. What could this all mean? Where am I? Was it all for nothing? I tried to express any one of these questions, but was quickly stopped short due to my throat, instead going into a short coughing fit.
He tried to comfort me, as if they could even understand how I was feeling now, continuing their one-sided conversation.
"You must be so confused, not that I'd know how confusing it would be because ... You know... I already knew all of this because I'm amazing, but it was all a game. Nothing was truly real, we were hooked up to... Machines of some sort, almost fantastical ones, once we "died" we were simply put into digital limbo where there was nothing to experience except ourselves without our physicality!! And once it was all over, we were removed. Removed from the entire system, cut cold turkey!! Can you believe it shuichi??? They really expected us to be okay!!! HAA!!! So we were all sent to this hospital to recover, you understand right?"
He kept on pausing awaiting my response , other than the fact that I couldn't coherently respond at the moment I don't think I could have anything else to say, but my silence didn't stop them.
"You spent waaayyy longer to wake up compared to the rest of us... It was super weird, I didn't even realise it because I was just sooo busy with myself and my physical therapy I didn't even have the time to even blink into your room! Haha!!"
Ah right... Everyone else woke up? He shouldn't have been awake much longer than I, they were still covered in bandages and have some crutches off to the side. Still, I couldn't react anyway else but to stare. His bravada, this performance he has been putting on, why? They stare at me, awaiting some form of reaction, but it just doesn't land anymore. It's all done, there's nothing to hide from, however he still twists their own words.
"Haaa.... Nothing gets by you, huh... No wonder they set you up as the detective. I just need to make sure you're ok, it's been difficult for me, but I can't possibly imagine how you feel. Watching everything unfold, it can't be easy. I know it's unfair, but if anyone can handle it I know it's you."
He came in for a hug, sitting next to me in my bed. It was like a beartrap, opened, welcoming me towards it , but it was impossible to resist. I tried my hardest to wrap my arms around him, knowing what he can be. Resting my head on his shoulder, I truly am able to understand his words. I am bigger than this game, and nobody is to blame for anything that happened during it. I never thought I could find such comfort, especially from him.
I found that time melted away as I stayed, resting in his embrace, it's as if nothing else existed. But there could never be a true ewcape. It was still all so surreal, I mean who remained outside? I know everyone's supposedly there, probably getting their own treatment, but what treatment? I'm still not sure of myself, and what is truly wrong with me, but maybe they will have the answers? Id like to imagine I'm not alone. That others can be trusted, and understood. I try again to speak my mind, going slightly more smoothly, although still rather raspy.
"U..h... Wh..erre ... Are tthe... Others?"
I raised my head back up to look at him in the eye, my hands now dropped to either side of them as I had lost the strength to hold them up, and met their concerned gaze. He let go of my back, instead picking up my hands and holding them gently, tracing over the knuckles as he spoke.
"They're all in their own rooms, I guess, I don't really know... I think they're so jealous of my killer crutch that they would rather keep to the other side of the hospital than talk with me in fear of stealing it !! Haaa...."
How can I even describe it, the effort he puts up into his words, they all seem so well organized, I'm so worried. Oh, I hate this body, how I feel pain and restriction, nothing matters to me more than what's infront of me. I just want to show them I care, that I want to listen and explore and play stupid games, I'd do it all as a real person because I can truly trust them to wish the best for me, but I'm trapped. I don't feel like myself.