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Yoongi was floating. There was no reason for him to feel like he was just floating around in space. There was no reason for him to feel like he was just existing. He had a lot of friends, and multiple different friend groups at that. He knew he had people who liked him, yet, he never felt like people liked him enough. He was the extra in every group he was in, he was extra because people liked him, but they didn't like him enough to view him as their best friend.
It was fine before it started hitting him. It was fine before he realized he was never anyone's favorite. If his friend groups were to split off in groups of two, Yoongi would be the one without someone. He would be the one who had to join a trio because he wasn't anyone's first pick.
It felt like high school, almost. Yoongi remembered well the feeling of dread when a teacher would ask people to find a project partner and nobody would make eye contact with him. He remembered getting to the point where he'd just stare down at his desk until the teacher noticed that nobody wanted him.
That's what his adult life felt like sometimes, too.
Yoongi was floating.
Sometimes he felt like he had purpose, when he floated through life on his own. He did what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it. He worked best when he made his own rules, and fuck, sometimes he was his own best friend. Yoongi was known to put on his headphones and lose himself in his own world.
He felt at peace, in his own world.
Though sometimes, when he wasn't distracted by it, his own world became his worst nightmare.
He'd start to feel self conscious in conversation when he'd send a series of messages and nobody would reply. He'd start to feel left out when nobody replied to him, but they'd immediately start talking about something else.
He felt like he was annoying, sometimes.
He'd lost friends for it before. He knew he could be a lot when he got comfortable. He knew he could be excessive and maybe people weren't interested in what he had to say sometimes.
Yoongi knew that. He understood that people weren't always going to be interested in what he says because oftentimes he just says a lot.
It might be his biggest insecurity, his annoyingness. It always hit the most after he happily yapped about whatever he was interested in and people moved on as if he'd never said anything at all. It hits him, like oh, I was annoying just then.
So then he'd stop talking for some time, dwell on the sadness of being ignored, but he also knew it wasn't his friend's fault, and sometimes he should just chill out. He knew that, but the cycle continued.
Yoongi was floating.
Sometimes happily, above water, staring at the sun, not a care in the world.
Sometimes aimlessly, through space, stars all around him but wondering when it was his chance to become one.
He was well liked, but he was alone.
Yoongi.... was floating.
He was floating alone until he floated next to Kim Seokjin.
Kim Seokjin was also floating, but he made it look elegant somehow. He was floating in a way that made him seem like a star.
Seokjin on the outside looked so popular. Like Yoongi, he had many friend groups, people he could call home. Yoongi almost didn't believe they were the same at first. That's how nicely Seokjin floated.
Seokjin blended in so well with the groups he had, but Yoongi started to notice.
Yoongi noticed the way that Seokjin would follow behind. He noticed the way that Seokjin would try to keep up. He noticed the way that Seokjin tried to get them to notice him.
Seokjin knew how to make people laugh. He knew what to say to get people to be happy. Yoongi noticed, that sometimes Seokjin put the happiness of his friends over his own feelings. He noticed the way that Seokjin would go from smiling after attracting a lot of attention to himself, to looking almost lost.
It was just for a second, but Yoongi saw.
Yoongi saw, because he knew what it was like to be in that position.
Yoongi asked him, once they started dating, he asked Seokjin how he managed to float so beautifully.
Seokjin told him to fake it until you make it.
Yoongi wasn't sure if he could ever fake it like Seokjin was able to do, but he thought that if he were to float, he was glad he was no longer floating alone.