Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Purgatory caused me to lose my mind. Not in any spectacular way, but in an utterly mundane one, presumably aligning with the expectations of whatever twisted god sent me here in the first place. I lost my sense of self, although I question if I ever had one in the first place. To get a name in this world, you have to win a race. I'm the only horse I know of who hasn't won one now. So my name is Cyan. Even my name is a reminder of my own incompetence, not that it matters, since there's nobody else here to say it. I'm likely stuck here forever.

At least, that's what I thought, as I drifted off to sleep again. But I woke up with a jolt—an oddity on its own—and found my surroundings had completely changed. They were completely new to me, but somehow not foreign either. I knew what these things were, despite having never seen them before. Trees, grass, a road. Beneath me, a sidewalk. Buildings, road signs... humans . I sat up (wait, sat up?) and looked at my body—it had completely changed too. I let out a yelp, and was surprised at my own voice. I was... something. A human? No, that's not right. The tail, the legs, the ears... What had happened to me?

Before I could ponder it (or more accurately, freak out about it) any further, I noticed someone running in my direction. Her speed was incredible for a human—but no, she wasn't human. She was like me, tail and all. She came to a stop when she noticed me sitting on the sidewalk, and offered her hand to me.

"Are you alright?" The horse-girl asked. She had long, brown hair, ears and tail, and a warm smile. She was wearing some sort of uniform and running shoes.

I took her hand and stood up, a bit shakily. "Um... don't worry about me. Sorry if I was in your way."

"Not at all. And I'm always willing to care for others, especially other umamusume."

Uma...musume? Was that what I was now? Like a cross between a human and a horse... it felt weird, but apparently it was normal in this world. After an awkward silence I spent looking down at the sidewalk, the other umamusume piped up again. "So what were you doing sitting down on the sidewalk, then?"

I juggled the pros and cons of telling the truth for, again, probably a little too long before deciding to speak. "Well, to tell the truth... uh, I was in another world and I was a horse and I had to race again and again and I lost all the time and then I got sent to hell for a really long time and then I went to sleep and I woke up here and now I'm really confused and if you believe me that's cool but if you think I'm crazy please don't lock me up in a mental hospital forever because that sounds really scary okay? "

What happened next surprised me more than waking up on another world. The other girl wrapped her arms around me in a hug, pressing her body against me firmly and nearly lifting me up off the ground. She spoke in a soft tone. "That sounds terrifying... I'm so sorry that happened to you... And I would never do anything to harm you, okay?" Something in my mind told me no stranger would treat me like this, nobody would be this nice to me, let alone right off the jump... yet there was a sincerity in her voice that made it impossible to doubt her either. Whatever the case, it didn't matter, because in that moment, my emotions rushed out of me. I returned the embrace and started sobbing.

After an amount of time that I can't find words to describe, I released the hug and dried my tears. The girl patted me on the head between my ears, which felt surprisingly good and made me blush (oh, I can blush now). Then she extended her hand to me again, "Sorry, I never introduced myself! My name is Super Creek. What's yours?"

I hesitantly accepted the handshake. "I'm, um... Cyan." I could have lied, but I don't deserve a new name, do I?

"Nice to meet you, Cyan." Super Creek's warm smile as she said my name made my heart skip a beat. "Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but if you appeared here from some... other world... do you not have a place to stay?"

"I guess I don't..." I admitted. "But I can sleep anywhere, really."

"No, you can't!" Super Creek chided. "Listen, I know someone who I think can help. Please come with me, okay?"

"I—alright, I will." I felt bad accepting so much help from Super Creek, but she seemed like the type who wouldn't take no for an answer. I could tell by her smile. I would never, ever tell her, but deep down, that smile pissed me off.

After some jogging, we had arrived at the campus of some sort of school. "This is Tracen Academy, the school I attend. I want to introduce you to the director." Confused, I followed her onto the school grounds.

I took in the large and luxurious campus, with its variety of buildings and outdoor spaces. Super Creek led me into a building and down a hallway before knocking on a door. A high-pitched voice responded, "Come in!" and she opened the door. I assumed the director would be there, but the only person in the room was a young girl. I looked around a bit to make sure, then glanced at Super Creek.

Super Creek bowed as she entered the room. "Good afternoon, Director Akikawa." Wait, should I be bowing, too?! I bowed, probably way too low, and then glanced at the girl and back at Super Creek. Presumably... this was the director she was talking about?

"Hi, Super Creek! What brings you here? And who's this?" The director pointed a... rolled up piece of paper at me?

"This is Cyan. I brought her here because, sadly, she has no home..." As she was saying this, I could tell Super Creek was giving the director some serious 'doe eyes'. "And you talk a lot about helping every umamusume, so I thought, maybe there was a chance she could stay here in the dorms?"

"Super Creek..." Director Akikawa said wistfully, putting the paper to her chin. She then stood up suddenly and pointed it at Super Creek. "You are absolutely right! If there is an umamusume out there in need of my help, there's no way I'll let them down!" She then sighed and sat down again. "But I can already imagine what Tazuna will say to me... so here's the deal! Cyan! If you want to stay at Tracen Academy... Then you must come study here! You don't have to pay tuition, just attend class, okay?"

This was all so sudden and overwhelming. Two hours ago I was asleep in an endless void, with nothing but my own thoughts. Now I was being asked to attend a school in an unfamiliar world and an unfamiliar body. I was frazzled. I looked over to Super Creek.

"Cyan..." Super Creek patted my head again. "I know you're probably overwhelmed and confused. But Tracen Academy is a wonderful place. You'll learn a lot here and the people are very nice. It's the best school in the country for umamusume. If you want to live a nice life here, I think this is a good bet. And I'll always be nearby if you need me."

A life like that sounded nice. Too nice, really. It sounded like a trap. I felt the urge to run away. But run where? And even if it is a trap, or this place ends up being awful, could it be worse than where I came from? "Okay. Y-yeah. Let's do it."

"Welcome aboard, Cyan!" Director Akikawa said. "Now lemme get you into our system..." She typed at her laptop for a while. "Done! Your room is in Miho Dorm, I'll just mark it on this map here... and your roommate is named Happy Meek. I think you'll get along well. Might be slow conversation." She scribbled on a map and handed it over to me as she was talking.

"Um... thank you so much, Director. You're very kind." I bowed. "And you too, Super Creek..."

"I'll do anything to help umamusume shine!" The director beamed. "So don't worry about it. If you need anything, you can ask me!"

"I'm also happy to help, really." Super Creek chimed in.

"Thank you both..." I looked at the map in my hands and proceeded to bonk my head on the wall trying to exit the room. I could hear the director stifle a laugh.

"I'll accompany you to Miho Dorm, okay?" Super Creek asked.

"Yeah, that'd be nice..." I grimaced.

I held Super Creek's hand as we walked across campus towards the building I would be living in. It was this short amount of time that let me truly process things for the first time since waking up here. I had been transported to a world of opportunity, given a fresh start. It occurred to me that this was probably a dream, but I rarely dreamed, much less this vividly. If it was real... well, I can't imagine I'd get a third chance at life. I had to succeed here, whatever that meant. If I failed now, I would never forgive myself. I would never deserve forgiveness. But in this moment, I could appreciate the beauty of my new life. I looked up at a sky whose color reflected in my eyes. The sun, the moon, and the scattered clouds. The sky of another world.

Chapter Text

I waved goodbye to Super Creek as we arrived at Miho Dorm. Apparently she lived in the other dorm, so we wouldn't live too close together. I walked nervously through the halls, my eyes darting from the map in my hands to my surroundings as I made sure I didn't bump into anything like last time. I eventually made it there and gently knocked on the door. Eventually, a shy-looking umamusume with very light hair, big ears, and fuchsia eyes opened it. "You're Happy Meek, right?" I asked. "I, um, sorry if this is sudden, but I'm your new roommate now, I think. My name is Cyan."

"Uh, yes, that's right." Happy Meek seemed to have no easier of a time making eye contact than I did, which relieved me a bit. "I got a text about it a little bit ago, saying that you would be here... anyways, welcome in."

The dorm wasn't very big, the whole room being two beds and two corners with desks and dressers at them, with little room to walk around. Happy Meek managed to make it her own, though, with the walls of her half mostly covered in art, magazine clippings, posters, and stickers. Her bed was also covered in stuffed animals. The other side was mine. It hit me that I didn't have anything. Not that I'd ever had anything. But even the clothes on my body were just solid-color, generic clothing of mysterious origin, and it's not like I could get new ones without money.

Right, I needed money to survive in this world. I could try to find a job, but with no legal record of my existence, there was no way anyone legitimate would hire me. I would need something off-the-books... something less than legal... but for that, I needed connections. Was there any way to find those?

"Happy Meek, do you know any members of the Yakuza?"

"H-whuh?" She looked dumbfounded by my question. "Um... no?"

"Okay." Worth a shot.

"Um... can I ask... why you want to know?"

It hit me in that moment that asking that question made a terrible first impression on my new roommate. It also occurred to me that that problem would be made exponentially worse if I explained that I wanted to do crimes for money. I had to think of an excuse for my blunder. "I... don't like... them. So if you did... that would be bad."

"Oh, okay." Happy Meek seemed oddly satisfied with that explanation.

I sat down on my bed—surprisingly comfy—and stretched out my legs. I didn't have anything to do, so I just sat there thinking quietly for a while, while Happy Meek drew with colored pencils in a sketchbook. Eventually she broke the silence. "So... where are you from?"

Shit. What do I do here? If I lie, I'll just end up regretting it and creating some sort of unsustainable web of lies that will probably come apart in a dramatic fashion. But if I tell the truth, she'll probably think I'm really weird. (In retrospect, this choice isn't that hard...) "I um. Well, the truth is, I just woke up today... Before then I lived in another world, and I wasn't an umamusume like I am now. It's the truth, but if you don't believe me that's okay..."

Happy Meek pondered that for a second before speaking. "I think there are some anime like that. Like reverse isekai. Or maybe it's just regular isekai. Hm."

I glanced at her nervously. "Does... does that mean you believe me, or not?"

"Well, I don't know why you would lie about that... and we don't really know where umamusume come from... and uh, it definitely doesn't look like you dyed your hair and tail that weird color. So I believe you."

"They're cyan..." I muttered, responding to the comment about my hair and tail. "But thank you. I don't know what I'm doing here, but I'm really happy I'm here."

"Oh... was your other life not very good?"

"It was hell."

"Oh. Then I think it counts as isekai and not reverse isekai. Because isekai is about wish fulfillment..." Happy Meek paused before continuing. "What is your wish for your life now?"

That question stumped me. "I don't know... I never succeeded at anything before. My only goal was to win a race, and I couldn't do it. I'm just trying to figure out how this place works."

Happy Meek wore a determined look as she made eye contact with me. "You can win a race."

I was a bit taken aback by her resolve on my behalf. What brought this on? "W-why are you so sure?"

"Well, this is Tracen Academy. Most of us are here to become top racers. We have trainers, and curriculums, and facilities. I thought I couldn't succeed, like you... but then my trainer found me!" Her face became even more determined. "She taught me that someone like me can be a star umamusume! The only limitation is how hard I can work towards my goal! And... and I won my first race just a little while ago!" Even like this, Happy Meek's voice was quiet, but I could tell she was fired up inside.

"So if I get a trainer..."

"Your trainer would help you achieve your goals, no matter what. That's their job." Happy Meek glanced at an alarm clock on the nightstand between our beds. "Speaking of that, I uh, have training, so... I'm going to go to that now, but... if you wanted to come with me, that would be okay..."

"Like, train with you?" I asked.

"Yeah, I mean... we do that kind of thing a lot here, so if you wanted, I think that would be okay..."

Well, I wanted to make friends with Happy Meek and I figured working on my skills as a racer would be good too... "Okay, I'll join."

"Alright, uh, follow me, okay?" Happy Meek got up and opened the door, and I followed her out.

As we were walking, we passed by a grand-looking statue with a fountain. It looked important, almost like the centerpiece of the campus. "Hey, what is this statue?" I asked.

Happy Meek stopped walking. "That's the Three Goddesses... Some people say they are the reason umamusume exist. It's sort of important. Also, some umamusume say they get, um, inspired by the statue... Like they're carrying on the legacy of other racers... I kinda get that."

The reason umamusume exist... If that was true, was it true of me too? Maybe I have them to thank for being here. I walked up to the statue and closed my eyes. Goddesses... if you're the reason I'm here... thank you. I want to make the most of this. I won't let it be like last time.

When I opened my eyes, as if they had heard me, a sensation shot through my body from my head to my chest and then my extremities. I was bursting with energy, and the clumsiness I had felt getting used to this body blew away like smoke. I turned to Happy Meek, who was staring at me with a puzzled look, and without thinking I proclaimed "Race you to practice!"

"Wh- but you don't even know where we're going!" She protested. But it was too late. I was already running, and she had no choice but to trail behind.

Chapter Text

Eventually, I started thinking straight, and I slowed down to let Happy Meek take the lead. Still keeping a brisk pace, she guided me towards one of the several tracks on campus that were apparently meant for training. Waving to us as we approached was a sharply-dressed human girl with shoulder-length black hair and a short stature.

"Hi, Meek!" The girl said. "You brought a training partner today?"

"M-hm." Happy Meek nodded. "She's my new roommate, too."

"Oh! That's nice to hear." The girl turned to me and smiled. "Nice to meet you. I'm Aoi Kiryuin, Meek's trainer. You can call me Aoi if you like." I wasn't sure I was ever going to get used to everyone being so nice to me.

I was so wrapped up in the fact that nobody had yet decided I was trash I didn't realize Aoi was offering a handshake. I quickly accepted it, responding "My name's Cyan." Don't worry Cyan, if you don't mess up anything else with Aoi this will arguably be your least worst social interaction since becoming an umamusume.

"Anyway, Cyan, it's great to have you here. I just want to let you know, though, I have a pretty tough regimen I go through with Meek. I'm glad to help you out, since I assume you don't have a trainer—" I nodded in response. "—but I have to focus on her primarily, so you're in charge of making sure you aren't being pushed too far, okay?"

I thought for a second. I truly had no idea what a tough training regimen even looked like, let alone what the capabilities of my body were. But there was no sense in backing out now—I'd do what I could. Hopefully I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of the two of them. "Alright. Thank you."

Aoi flipped through the papers on her clipboard. "So today, we're going to be focusing on speed and power... but first, some warm-ups!"

"Yaaaaaay, warm-ups!" Meek exclaimed softly.

Aoi guided us through a bunch of warm-ups and stretches. It was surprising how good they felt—even after the burst of energy I had gotten earlier at the fountain, my muscles felt even more ready for action than before (even though I got the form wrong on some of them).

Then, it was on to the main course. Speed training was as simple as it could be—do a certain amount of laps around the track, and keep track of your time. Then take a break, and do it again. Aoi had a super-fancy stopwatch (or maybe it was just a normal stopwatch) that kept track of both the total time and the lap times, and it could do it for both of us at once. I wondered if a phone couldn't do the same thing, but I kept it to myself. At first I was lagging behind Meek quite a bit, but by the time the speed training ended we were almost neck and neck—my times were getting faster while hers were getting slower due to exhaustion. Something about seeing Meek trying her hardest and knowing I was right on her tail was exhilarating—it proved to me that I could win something, even if I wasn't quite there yet.

The sun began to set during our last hour of training, which was power training. Aoi took some weights out of her backpack and instructed us to secure them around our upper legs. When I asked why she brought enough for two of us, she told me that "coming prepared for any occasion is a key point of the Trainer Handbook," which made sense. She wasn't messing around with the weight of these, either. Even lifting them normally would have been a workout, and her next instruction was to run with them.

"I feel like Goku." Happy Meek proclaimed as she put the weights on. All of a sudden, Aoi turned bright red and put her head in her hands. Meek looked over to her, then at me. "Trainer works very hard to come up with lots of new ideas for training methods. Some of them are from anime."

"N-no they're not!" Aoi protested, head still in hands. "I don't even watch Dragon Ball!"

"You should, it's really good." And with that, Meek began running laps as instructed.

I followed, though it took me a bit to get my form right and I kept stumbling. Eventually I got the hang of it and was able to train with Meek until Aoi announced we were done for the day. Meek looked about ready to collapse, which surprised me only because I wasn't.

"Good job! Meek, you were amazing as always. And Cyan, I think I underestimated you. Keep at it and you'll be a force to be reckoned with."

"Do you really mean that?"

"I don't throw around compliments. Meek has been training with me for a while now, she has more practice than you do. But looking at the two of you, you already have more stamina than she does. You could have gone even longer, and something tells me you would have. Any trainer would be lucky to have you."

Hearing that from her... something inside me changed, again. When I was invited to Tracen Academy, and when Meek told me I could win a race... the hopelessness inside me had died down. The overwhelming emptiness of my future had been—at least temporarily—quelled. But I couldn't say I really had hope. This time... hearing what Meek's trainer had to say about me made me want to keep going. Maybe there was something exciting out there in my future that I hadn't reached yet. If I stopped comparing myself to Jovial Merryment, to Superpositional Reality, to all the ones I couldn't beat... I could truly look forward to my new life as an umamusume.

"Th-thank you." I didn't notice, but there were tears welling up in my eyes.

Happy Meek passed out almost immediately after hitting her bed, but I couldn't. I was still restless thinking about everything that had happened that day. (It probably didn't help that I didn't have a change of clothes and my current ones were drenched in sweat.) After about an hour of tossing and turning, I decided to go out for a run to clear my mind. The campus was illuminated by a mixture of moonlight and lampposts guiding me towards the track I had practiced on earlier. I ran for some amount of time I didn't bother to process, but I had a nagging feeling all the while that someone was watching.

Eventually it got to me, and I stopped to look around, but I couldn't see anyone. I resigned myself to give up and burn off the rest of my steam when a figure approached from within a distant bush. She was a young woman, apparently human, wearing what looked like hiking gear and holding a pair of binoculars. Her brazen approach had me on edge.

"You should work on your observational skills." The girl declared. "You couldn't spot me in the bush when you were looking for me, or when I was watching you train earlier today. It's an important part of racing to know what your opponents are doing."

"Are you a stalker...?"

"A stalker?!" She seemed taken aback by my totally reasonable accusation. "No, far from it. I'm a trainer. Observing umamusume is part of my job, Cyan! It's called 'scouting'. I've been spending my time here at Tracen looking for the perfect trainee. Most of the other trainers have already settled, and scouted somebody. I, however, bided my time, and I think I have found the perfect match!"

"Oh, who is that?"

The trainer gave a somewhat dumbfounded expression. "You, dummy. I meant I want to be your trainer. My name's Miki Terashima, by the way." She extended her hand in what I now understand to be a request for a handshake.

"Me?! But you barely know me!" I wasn't about to take her hand until she started making sense.

"Hm... your name's Cyan, you just became an umamusume and enrolled in Tracen, you have incredible stamina, you're the shy and anxious type, and you are determined to win. Did I get all that right?"

"So you are a stalker!"

"Hmph. I'm just observant. Anyway, just think about it. There aren't a whole lot of trainers without a trainee this time of year." Miki turned and began walking away.

"W-wait!" Could I be letting my only chance walk away from me? She seemed like she knew her stuff... and I needed a trainer, anyway. What if I turned her down and then got stuck with someone worse? What if my trainer was a man? Okay, I had to send it. "I-I'll do it!" Closing my eyes tight like I was about to go down the peak of a rollercoaster, I held out my hand.

"Deal!" I felt Miki shake it and then let go. "You can uh. Stop holding your hand out now."

Embarrassed, I lowered my hand, and slowly opened my eyes. The campus looked the same, but the woman in front of me wasn't some stranger who came out of the bushes anymore. She was the person I'd be spending the next few years of my life with, for better or worse.