Work Text:
Hoya: L, have you loved before?
Myungsoo seems hesitates.
Has he ever? He did have a relationship with his past girlfriend back in the college, but, unfortunately it didn’t turn out pretty well. It was a beautiful love story at the start, but apparently the love story that he was living in at that time turned out to be a fake lie.
Being born with a perfect face was a blessing they said. But little did everyone knows, the visual that people kept being envious about was such a torture to the ones enduring it. Having the most good-looking visual in every place that he went to, wasn’t much of a help to him, in fact, it might be a huge prejudice over everything that he actually owned.; talents.
Myungsoo has great talents without a doubt. He’s good in singing, he’s good in acting and he’s good in dancing. But all of that didn’t matter in his case. Because his face is good enough for everything.
Myungsoo: Love…
Myungsoo tried to explain. He knows about love. He had experienced love. So he pretty sure that he knows what the meaning of ‘love’ in his life. But before he could continue, Woohyun cuts him off.
Woohyun: Love to L is like an invisible person. Love doesn’t exist, so of course it wouldn’t appear to him. Haha!
Myungsoo gives him a skeptical look. Is that what Woohyun thinks of him? If so, then the questions that Myungsoo asked himself all this while were solved.
Again, he was fooled with a fake love.
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The first time they had done it, Myungsoo thought that Woohyun really was in love him. But it turned out that it was all wrong.
It happened one night when Myungsoo heard a loud knock on his door.
At first, Myungsoo thought that maybe it was Sungyeol who was bored and have nothing to do, so he made his way to open it, but what he didn’t expect was, Woohyun came crashing to his arms as soon as the front door opened.
“Hyun, what happened?” Myungsoo asked, tho he didn’t have to. The smell of alcohol was quite strong coming from Woohyun and seeing Woohyun’s state right now was making it all makes sense- Woohyun was definitely drunk.
Myungsoo grabbed Woohyun by the shoulder and placed him on the couch.
Woohyun was quiet since the beginning and Myungsoo was too stunned to know what to do. Instead of asking questions, Myungsoo got up and turned his heels to the kitchen and grabbed a few painkillers and a warm water. Hopefully, they will help to kill the pain from the hangover.
Myungsoo placed the cup and the medicine on the table. But before he managed to turn around and asked Woohyun to take the drink, Myungsoo was pulled by the wrist and now he was inches away from Woohyun’s face.
“Hyun….”
“I like you”
“W-what? Hyun stop it. You are scaring me” Myungsoo said as he tried to release himself from the grip.
But instead, Woohyun closed the gap and kiss him hard on the lips. “I like you” he said and kissed him again.
Woohyun pushed Myungsoo down until his back hit the couch. Myungsoo tried again to push himself free, but it was useless. Woohyun was too strong for him.
Woohyun devoured Myungsoo’s lips like there’s no more tomorrow. He licked Myungsoo’s lower lips and tried to push his tongue in but Myungsoo refused. But when Woohyun’s hand started to slip inside of Myungsoo’s shirt and touched the fair skin of Myungsoo’s body, Myungsoo gasped.
Woohyun took the chance and finally he managed to push his tongue into Myungsoo’s hot cavern. Myungsoo stiffened by the contact and pushed Woohyun away from him by placing his hand on Woohyun’s chest and managed to push slightly, but again he failed. Woohyun attached to him again and again and this time, he kissed him deeper until Myungsoo was out of breath.
Woohyun leaned back for a moment and stared deep into Myungsoo’s eyes. “I like you”
Myungsoo was stunned by the sudden words and when Woohyun leaned in again for another kiss, Myungsoo didn’t refuse.
Myungsoo didn’t know how it happened, but both of them were now stumbled in the bed with Woohyun hovered over him. Their clothes were all over the floor and when Woohyun pushed himself into him, Myungsoo moaned his name, loud and clear.
“Woohyun-ah!”
Myungsoo can feel how hard Woohyun was when Woohyun was buried fully inside of him. When Woohyun started to move, Myungsoo clenched the wall and gripped the bed sheets tight, making him felt all the pleasure and pain Woohyun was giving him. Soon, Myungsoo felt like a knot was starting to form. It took a few thrusts from Woohyun that made Myungsoo came. And not a minute too soon, after a few pushes, Woohyun released his own load inside of him, screaming Myungsoo's name.
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Myungsoo: L didn’t say one thing.
Myungsoo suddenly spoke as he felt his heart was about to break. He was really offended by what Woohyun had said. Myungsoo love ‘love’ but he hates it when he easily got fooled by it.
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After they woke up that morning, Myungsoo was surprised when he woke up alone in his bed.
He noticed the bed sheet covered his naked body and when he tried to move up, his lower back was indeed in pain. He then heard the shower was turned off and shakily turned his head to the bathroom door.
He saw how Woohyun returned with a white shirt (Myungsoo’s shirt) and a pair of denim jeans.
An awkward silence was starting to form when both of their eyes met.
“Take a shower. I will prepare the breakfast” Woohyun broke the silence and walked out of the room. There were no emotions in Woohyun’s words just now. It was rather flat and Myungsoo was scared of what was going to happen next.
As soon as Myungsoo took the seat, Woohyun quickly apologized, saying that it was all because of the amount of alcohol he drank last night.
“I hope you don’t take whatever I said last night, to the heart, Myungsoo. I really didn’t mean it. And I’m really sorry”
Myungsoo played his fingers on the mug’s ring and refused to look at him.
“Okay” That’s all Myungsoo could say, despite losing his heart, soul and even his body last night.
“I hope this won’t change anything between us Myungsoo.. Let’s just forget what happen and be back as usual, okay?
Myungsoo still didn’t look at him, but after a moment of Woohyun’s waiting for the answer, Myungsoo simply gave him a reply of “okay”.
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Woohyun: Hey~ Why are you being like this. What kind of type are you, L?
Myungsoo took a deep breath and continue saying,
Myungsoo: I’m the type to give and take for love. Although I’ve failed before. It’s a joke. (Fake laughter) The more you learn about love, the harder it gets. On the other hand, it’s sweet too. It really feels like alcohol.
Myungsoo said, eyes fixing to Woohyun’s. Woohyun froze for a moment because he felt like the words were said directly to his heart. And it’s the truth really.
Because after what had happened that night, Myungsoo seemed to keep thinking about Woohyun and he can’t get rid of him from his mind. And every time they had scheduled, Myungsoo will steal a glance to the main vocal and quietly stared at him for a while.
Despite Woohyun pretending like nothing happened and succeed in moving on, Myungsoo was the only one who suffers from all of this. Why? Because Myungsoo had fallen in love with him.
And the way Woohyun’s was pampering him was not helping at all. When Woohyun said, ‘let’s just forget what happen and be back as usual’ he didn’t really think that Woohyun would still be touchy with him here and there without feeling any nervousness or stiffness.
When Myungsoo was sick, Woohyun would be the ones that took charge in helping him. Giving him medicine and water, and checking the temperature on Myungsoo’s forehead. Myungsoo felt loved, but it was not the love the Myungsoo was seeking for because the love Woohyun was giving him right now was only the love of friendship.
Myungsoo: I think among emotions, love is the hardest to control. Because it covers everything. I think it’s really hard.
Happiness- there’s no need to cover happiness because that’s what people want to see. And when Myungsoo is happy, the members will be too, because what’s happiness without Myungsoo?
Sadness- Myungsoo can hide sadness really well. Simply putting on his earphones as a way to make a barrier between his world and the real world was already did the fine job.
“Where’s Myungsoo?”
“He’s listening to the songs to appreciate good music, I guess” ones said.
And yes, he might cover them so well or maybe people just couldn’t care enough to see his sadness.
And how about love? Can people control their love?
Love happens without people knowing where, when and how. That’s how love is really was. No one can guess who to fall in love with. It just happens.
And for Myungsoo, he was unfortunate to fall in love with Woohyun. A guy who only loves him as a friend, and nothing more. The night that they had spent together was nothing more that just a swing.
Woohyun: Love is really hard. I don’t even know how to go through marriage.
Indeed, love is hard. Woohyun was afraid how to handle love. Love is the most conflicted emotion that no one knows how to control.
How can he do it? Can he take care of it as simple as it seen on the screen? What will people judge him when he opened up to everyone that he was in love? And what will people judge him if he confessed that the person he loves was his own bandmate, Kim Myungsoo?
That night was indeed an accident. But Woohyun didn’t regret it nonetheless.
He was drunk but sober enough to walk himself to Myungsoo’s flat and kissed him on the lips. Using the alcohol as an excuse was the perfect way to show him how much he loves him.
He was indeed in love with him and when Myungsoo screamed his name after he came high, Woohyun felt complete. Although he knew it was just a short of happiness, but he will take it. As long as the memory stay locked inside of his mind, he will gladly take it.
He didn’t want to hurt him. But Woohyun didn’t know how to express his love to him. And can he make Myungsoo happy with his pathetic love? He wasn’t so sure.
So, rather than confess to him, it was better for Woohyun to just keep his love for himself.