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It had been a few years after the ending of Total Drama All-Stars and all the former contestants had moved on with their lives, the show having moved on without them.
Through all the trial and error, emotional and physical turmoil, years and years of her life wasted, Gwen was sure she had wasted so much of her life striving for a goal unattainable, a pipedream to begin with, a war against her own sanity to justify how she’d sunk so much of herself into the most unforgiving thing imaginable.
To say that she was done was an understatement, at the end of all things she was completely and utterly alone.
She thought she had something special with Trent, but Heather just had to up and ruin that, well not entirely, Duncan was another major complication, she once thought of him as someone she could be herself around, but in the end he was far too concerned with his own ego and reputation to ever have had room for anyone else in his life.
Back to the guitar player, he was off on his solo career right now, the Drama Brothers having long since broken up.
He was doing alright for himself, Gwen talked to him for a little while, but they found less and less time to chat overtime, and he found another person and they just decided it was probably for the best if they stopped talking after that.
And then there was Courtney…
Gwen seriously missed her.
But she fucked up and the C.I.T., well now only with the C because she had finished her schooling and was now a full fledged counselor in her own right.
She had tried many times, an amount that mirrored her desperation, to try and get in touch with the woman, but even after attempting who knows how many times to try and contact her she had eventually given up.
She thought they had something special, but apparently not special enough for her to give the goth the time of day.
And then there was everyone else who she had failed to keep up with, and at this point she just wanted to forget it all.
She still talked to Leshawna sometimes, but she was rather busy nowadays, but they still made time to spend together, but even those meetups were few and far between.
Still she appreciated that someone was still willing to put up with her after everything she had done.
She was laying face down in her bed in her modestly sized apartment. Just letting the years and years of personal regret and feelings wash over her.
When suddenly she heard a knocking on the door, well not exactly knocking per se.
Someone was BANGING on the door to her personal apartment, and telling by the frequency of the knocks, they were not a patient person.
Gwen pulled her pillow over her head, groaning at her train of thought having been completely derailed.
After a few minutes the knocking got even more persistent, then it would quiet down for a minute or two, only for it to come back with a vengeance a moment later.
A growl escaped the teal haired woman’s lips as she threw her bedding to the side and hopped out of her oh so comfortable bed.
She stomped on over to the door, not even stopping to check the peephole and yanked the thing wide open.
“THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?” she opened her eyes to see the last fucking person she wanted to spend the night with.
The black haired woman, sternly folded her arms in front of her, “Took you long enough weirdo,” the queen bee scowled at her.
Gwen had to blink to make sure she wasn’t seeing things, rubbing her eyes just to make sure they weren’t defective, “HEATHER, what are you of all people doing here?”
The popular girl shoved past her into the apartment, ignoring the ‘Hey, what do you think you’re doing?’
She rolled her eyes, “It’s supposed to be ‘Hello how are you’ or ‘Hey how’s it been girl’, you know,” she mumbled to herself about how nobody has manners anymore.
The goth was flabbergasted, “I don’t owe you anything Heather, not when you used to treat me like shit, ruined multiple of my relationships, and-and,” she threw her hands up in the air, “Fuck, I’m so angry I can’t even think of a third thing, but you know what I mean,” she gestured towards the door, “So do us both a favor and kindly FUCK OFF, the doors over there.”
“And another thing, how did you even find out where I live?” She was promptly ignored.
Heather ended up doing the opposite and plopped herself right on Gwen’s sofa, “No you and I are going to talk,” she studied those stupid perfect nails of hers, clearly just as much of an egotistic bitch as she had been before.
“What is there to talk about,” before the other woman could open her mouth, she cut her off, now standing right in front of the alpha bitch, “Actually scratch that, I do not not care,” she jabbed a finger into her chest, “GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE.”
Heather grinned at that, falling easily back into her prior role, “Make me,” she said simply.
Without even a second's hesitation, Gwen had wrenched the raven haired girl off of her couch and was forcing her towards the door.
“W-WAIT, just wait a second alright,” she yanked her arm out of the other woman’s grasp, and was rubbing at her wrist trying to smooth away the sudden influx of pain.
Gwen was staring daggers at her, but for some inane reason allowed for her to explain herself, “Fine, make it quick,” she was tapping her foot on the shag carpet impatiently.
Heather released her own wrist, and glanced between the pale faced woman and the floor, her eyes settled on the floor, “So I just wanted to start with…” she bit her lip, clearly struggling with this, Gwen only quirked an eyebrow at that, “I just wanted to… Needed to…”
She hugged her arms around her body, her eyes still glued to the floor, “I’m sorry.”
That caught the goth off guard, “Wha- excuse me.”
Heather’s eyes flit around the room, only making direct eye contact for a moment, before zipping off elsewhere to stare at anything else, anywhere else.
She held herself a little closer.
Gwen looked at her incredulously, “Sorry huh?” she wasn’t buying it.
This had to be a trick, classic Heather, just going way out of her way just to fuck with her.
“What,” the popular girl finally met the other woman’s gaze.
“Don’t fucking ‘sorry’ me bitch, you should know by know I’m not gullible enough to buy any of this,” she stepped closer to the other woman.
“I-I,” Heather was at a loss for words, obviously she was expecting some sort of confrontation to arise from this, but that didn’t mean she was any more prepared for it, especially now that she was actually here.
“Yeah that’s what I thought, why don’t you just turn around and crawl back to that jackass of a boyfriend of yours,” she took another step to close the distance between her and the raven haired girl.
“I-I, I don’t…” Heather could feel her eyes getting misty.
“You don’t what bitch, just spit it out already,” Gwen was right in her face now, “I don’t fucking have all day.”
“I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND ANYMORE,” she couldn’t take it anymore, all the belittling, the lack of patience and understanding got to her, “HE… He cheated on me,” she was sniffling now, thick tears were now rolling down her cheeks.
That got Gwen to swallow her planned retort.
Only for a second however.
“Serves you right,” Gwen mumbled under her breath, she plodded back over to the couch.
But not before she was tackled against the plush fabric, the queen bee pinning her wrists against the backrest, straddling either side of her hips to restrain her further, “YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH I WAS TRYING-” she suddenly stopped herself.
She was trying so hard to keep this conversation productive.
She took a very deep breath to try and settle herself, the action not going unnoticed by the goth.
She urged her tears to stop flowing, and eventually they did.
She cleared her throat, and spoke in a surprisingly even tone, “I am trying to be nice, please just hear me out.”
“Heather, where is this coming from?” Gwen was genuinely confused.
She should have known, Heather should have known that it would be near impossible to get through to the other woman.
It was like bashing her head against a brick wall, something that was starting to feel preferable to putting up with the pale skinned woman.
She was almost questioning why she even came here in the first place, they didn’t live that far from one another due to the fact that they both eventually ended up settling down in Toronto.
But still the drive hadn’t been the shortest, all things considered.
She sighed and continued on anyway, against her better judgement.
It’s not like she had anything to lose at this point.
“So I was talking to my therapist the other day and-”
“Oh so you need someone to tell you what we’ve all been telling you for years, someone to fix your problems for you,” Gwen did not know why, or what exactly possessed her to say that, but something about the admission had unintentionally pissed her off.
Gwen didn’t want for Heather of all people to have a better grip on her mental health than she did.
That would not sit right with her.
A betrayed expression passed over the black haired woman’s face, before anger slowly boiled into her expression, “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?” she shoved the goth in the chest, pushing her back against the couch.
She was seething, she really really REALLY didn’t want to argue right now, but she felt as if her hands were tied.
That outburst was not met with another, Gwen looked down in shame, “I-I don’t know…”
The goth felt something wet drop onto her cheek, she brushed it off with a finger.
The usually bratty woman was sobbing, shaky breaths interrupting salty tears, she choked on her own words, but spoke anyway, “I am t-trying very very hard to not be a b-bitch right now,” the back of her hand smothered her mouth, she was trying to stifle she sound of her crying.
She hiccuped, “I hoped you, I j-just wanted you to understand,” was all Heather was able to utter before her emotions won over all other functions.
She collapsed on top of the other woman, hugging her tightly, because even if the other woman hated her, even if she wasn’t going to comfort her, at the very least she was here, whether she wanted to be here with her or not.
So she cried, she cried until she couldn’t anymore.
Somewhere between then, a hand started stroking small circles around her back.
She leaned into the goth’s shoulder, taking whatever little comfort she could get.
They laid there together for a while before the pale woman spoke up, “So why me, out of everyone else, why me?” Gwen continued to soothe the other woman’s back.
Heather appreciated the gesture, offering a pathetic, “I-I d-don’t have anyone else, I d-didn’t know where else to g-go,” she was reduced to a stuttering mess.
Gwen was taken aback, she hadn’t even considered how the other woman felt before exactly right now, “Shit, I’m sorry to hear that Heather, I just didn’t think that…” She didn’t quite know what to say yet.
The noirette brushed tears from her face with the back of her hand, “No I get it, I was a grade A bitch back then,” she released the other girl’s wrists and got off of her, taking the cushion right next to her on the couch.
Heather found a spare throw pillow and hugged it to her chest.
Gwen was about to make another witty retort, but caught herself this time, she settled on something relevant instead, “So you said you were talking to a therapist earlier, how was that going?” Conversation was likely going to be awkward, but the goth had to start somewhere.
This was going to be quite the interesting night.
Heather stared at the pillow in her grip, “I was talking to my therapist the other day, and she said I should try to reach out to some of the people I’ve been less than civil with, and at least make an effort to apologize," she held onto the plush lump tighter, the feeling grounding her for the moment.
Gwen wished she was that pillow…
Where did that thought come from? Gwen shook her head, she was not ready to process whatever that thought was supposed to mean, “Was I the first person you talked to?”
The raven haired girl shook her head, “No, but no one else was willing to keep the line on for long enough for me to get a word out.”
“So you tried to call the others first, why didn’t you try to call me then?” she asked with genuine curiosity.
Heather shrugged, “Would you have taken me seriously if I did?” she glanced over to the other woman’s face.
It was Gwen’s turn to look away, “Sorry, you're right this was probably for the best.”
Another thought occurred to her, “But why not try that with someone else then?”
That earned a big sigh from the other woman, “They wouldn’t have been worth the effort.”
Gwen leaned a bit closer, “And I’m worth it?”
A breath hitched in the black haired girl’s throat, “Shut up.” A light blush dusted her cheeks.
Gwen shuffled over, wrapping her arms around the other girl, “Anything else you wanna tell me, about your therapy stuff I mean?”
Heather melted into the touch, “She told me a lot of things, and helped me learn a lot about myself, taught me some healthy ways to cope with everything, you know the usual,” she explained it as if it were that simple.
Something was still bothering the teal haired girl, “Wouldn’t it have been easier to just start fresh, you know meet new people not have any of this old baggage weighing you down?” Because that’s mostly what she’s been trying and failing to do.
“I couldn’t do that, not without trying at the very least,” she sounded so small and fragile, as if one little outburst would shatter her heart wide open again.
Gwen would have loved doing just that not even ten minutes ago, but now couldn’t imagine ever wanting to do something like that ever again.
The goth sighed, “Be honest with me, why am I so important to you, what makes me so special?” Something wasn’t adding up here, there had to have been easier ways to go about this.
Right.
Heather cast her gaze in the opposite direction of her acquaintance, “You tend to learn a few things about yourself in therapy,” that was quite vague of a response, and seemed to confuse Gwen even further.
“Like what?” The goth pressed on.
“Like how certain actions and behaviors could be defense mechanisms for someone who is repressing certain parts of herself, parts that she didn’t even know she had,” a little more specific.
But not by much.
“So the way you treated others in the past was a coping mechanism of sorts, but I still don’t quite understand how this involves me,” Gwen was really trying here, but she wasn’t a mind reader, if she were she wouldn’t be living in such a shitty apartment all by herself.
“My terse actions towards you in the past apparently came about due to well…” and the trail went cold, Heather couldn't even begin to fathom how to word what she wanted to say next.
Gwen was starting to get a bit of a hint, a small idea forming in the back of her mind, “Oh my god, Heather, did you have a crush on me?”
She screwed her eyes shut, “Don’t be mad okay, I didn’t even realize it at the time,” she didn’t even try to fight it.
It was a big relief that she didn’t need to come out and say it herself, so all things considered this would make this conversation a lot easier.
That didn’t help the fact that the popular girl was more embarrassed than she had ever possibly been in her entire life.
She wishes that was an understatement, but love was really really scary.
Gwen stared back at her, mouth agape, “Woah, I was joking, are you being straight with me right now?” This news was revelatory to the goth girl.
A small nod, “I know it was a childish way to go about it, but all of it, or at least a lot of it was just because I was a little drama queen that didn’t know being bisexual was a thing at the time.”
Gwen had struggled with similar thoughts a few years ago, and because of Courtney things weren’t so simple.
A small smile spread across her face, “I think I can relate, well not to the drama queen thing, but to the struggling with bisexuality thing.”
Heather chuckled a little, “So I was right about the whole Courtney thing huh?” She teased.
Gwen flushed, “W-WHAT, how did you know?” She wrung her hands nervously.
The black haired girl scoffed, but there wasn’t any malice in it, not anymore, “For starters I’m not blind, anyone with eyes could see the way you looked at her, I didn’t even know it was supposed to be a secret,” Heather had always had quite the eye for anything that even resembled juicy gossip, and this was no exception.
She didn’t make it that far in two seasons by sheer luck alone, the girl was very perceptive to the things around her, it was one of the reasons why she didn’t fall for Alejandro’s shit.
Well at least not at first.
“Shit,” Gwen cupped her hands over her face, had she really been that obvious.
She then thought about it for two seconds and realized that yes she had been.
The flowers were not helping her case now that she remembered them.
Heather put a hand on the goth’s shoulder, “You really liked her didn’t you?”
It was Gwen’s turn to give a meek nod.
The black haired girl rubbed small comforting circles over the other woman’s arm, “It’s alright, she was too uptight for her own good anyways,” Heather tried to comfort the other girl in one of the best ways she knew how.
Talking shit behind another girl’s back, “I hear that she can’t keep a partner for longer than a month or two nowadays,” she giggled a little, “Man or woman, doesn’t matter, her sour attitude and impossible standards are apparently enough to drive most anyone away. If you ask me, you dodged a bullet there.”
That got the goth to perk up a little, “Wish things could have gone differently still, but you're probably right,” she smiled gently, “Never thought I’d say this, but thanks Heather, I think I really needed to hear that.”
The queen bee rolled her eyes, “Yeah don’t mention it,” she teased back flatly, “And you’re welcome, I have a lot more dirt on her if you're interested?” She offered.
Gwen considered it for a moment, before shaking her head, “Perhaps another time.”
Heather relented, even though she had a few more big scandalous stories to tell about that B.I.T.C.H.
They sat there together in silence, the comfortable quiet was quite welcome after the day that they had.
Heather relaxed into her crushes shoulder, finally allowing herself to just be.
To just live in the moment and enjoy herself for what felt like the first time in years.
Gwen eventually peeled herself away from the other girl, “Sooooo, you had a crush on me, huh?” She raised a knowing eyebrow.
“That isn’t exactly right,” the popular girl answered.
“How so?”
She chuckled nervously, “I’m not exactly talking in the past tense here,” Heather rubbed the back of her neck.
“Oh.”
Gwen didn’t quite know what to do with this information, so she just sat there and waited with bated breath on what the other woman was planning to do.
They stared at one another awkwardly, one of them would have to eventually end this staring contest.
And that person ended up being Heather, “Soooo, umm, how does that sound,” she still was avoiding using any particularly strong language.
She was new to this whole trying to be a better person thing.
That and the whole liking girls thing, that was also a pretty big deal to her.
Gwen blinked, “I uhhh, I don’t know actually,” she tucked a black strand of hair behind her back, she continued to dye her hair in its iconic multi shade.
Heather’s whole body slumped down noticeably, “Oh, well I probably should have expected this,” she laughed mirthlessly, “Hell we weren't even actually friends until a few minutes ago, I don’t know why I was thinking that-”
A soft finger was placed upon her lips.
Her brain short circuited at the gentle sensation.
“Buuuuut, I wouldn’t be against, you know, um, seeing where this goes,” she blushed slightly.
Heather didn’t know what to say, Heather the girl who was famous for yapping, yelling, cheating, lying, and manipulating others, was rendered speechless.
Love was really a bitch wasn’t it.
She searched her crushes face for any signs of insincerity.
She found none.
So she did the only thing she could think to do at the moment.
She leaned in closer, holding the other woman by her shoulders, “Is… Is this okay?” She asked as she slowly was craning her neck to get ever so closer to the goth.
Gwen stared at her for a few seconds, before nodding slowly.
Her eyes never leaving the other girl’s lips.
That was all the encouragement the raven haired woman needed, she leaned forward and closed the distance between their lips.
Their first kiss was hesitant, neither woman fully trusting themselves not to mess this up.
They both had been burned before, many many times, so any romantic gesture, no matter how simple, was to be considered with a deserved amount of scrutiny.
But as the pair got a bit more comfortable, a bit more confident, they started to really lean into the kiss.
Heather’s hands found themselves magnetized to the other girl’s cheeks, she couldn’t possibly tell you when they had found their way there.
Like all humans eventually do, the women needed to part for some much needed oxygen.
They were both breathing a bit more heavily, Heather’s tongue lolled out of her mouth slightly.
Gwen wasn’t doing much better, “Holy Shit,” she muttered.
Heather chuckled, “That sounds about right, you're quite the kisser,” she fluttered her eyes at the goth girl.
Gwen shoved the other girl’s shoulder gently, “You’re no slouch yourself I guess,” they both burst into a giggling fit, before finding the other’s lips again and diving in again.
And again.
And again.
Heather eventually pushed Gwen back flush against the cushions of the seat, their bodies fitting flush against the other.
They broke away again, Heather’s body was keeping Gwen pinned to the cushions on the couch, “Damn, so bossy,” the goth couldn’t help but tease the queen bee.
Heather pecked her lips again, “Shut up you weird goth girl,” she kissed her again, “Just let me have this okay?”
The goth in question nodded briskly, “Okay.”
Their lips found each other again.
Suffice to say it was going to be a long night for our girls here.
And that they would definitely need to clean the cushions in the morning.