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resilience is messy

Summary:

The bus crash nearly kills Regina and leaves its mark on all of them, especially Regina and Janis. How does Regina handle the recovery? How does Janis deal with Regina's near death experience and the messy feelings between them? Is there hope for them?

Notes:

i hurt my own feelings with this so beware

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Janis froze in place as the dull thud sounded, and then the screeching tires followed. Regina's body was flung forward, crashing onto the asphalt unceremoniously, broken, lifeless. Janis' eyes widened, but the sound got caught in her throat, as everyone that had gathered to watch the fight between Regina and Cady, was screaming.

Everyone was screaming, but no one actually moved, and then Janis realized, she was moving. It wasn't even conscious, she just knew she needed to get to Regina.

She rushed towards the blonde who wasn't moving, that was the only thing Janis could focus on. Regina wasn't moving.

The bus driver got there first, and he looked absolutely terrified.
"Hey, can you hear me?!" He knelt by Regina's side, checking for a pulse "Someone call 9-1-1!"

"They are on their way!" Cady called back, and Janis could hear the tears in her voice.

She knelt at Regina's side, almost throwing up her lunch at the sight of her. She was lying at an awkward angle her face bloody and bruised, but she was still alive. Janis knew, because her eyes focused on Janis'.
"Hey, look at me." Janis murmured "This isn't how you go out? You hear me?"

"Janis..." Regina breathed, tears flowing out of her eyes down the sides of her face.

"You're gonna be okay." Janis murmured, scared to touch her "You'll get through this."

"We have to help her!" Someone from the crowd blurted out.

"We can't move her, you idiot!" Janis growled "She probably has a spinal injury."

"I swear to God, I didn't see her." The bus driver shook his head. He looked ghostly white, his eyes wide "I would've stopped. I didn't see her!"

The paramedics arrived a couple of minutes later, and they forced everyone to back off so they could work. They took Regina's vitals, and then they carefully moved her onto one of those boards, and once she was secure, they put her on a gurney and moved her into the back of the ambulance.

"Is anyone coming with her?" The paramedic asked. Janis' gaze moved to Cady, because the
redhead had spent all year hanging out with Regina every day. But Cady didn't say anything. She just kept looking down.

"I will." Janis spoke, eliciting a few gasps and murmurs from her peers.

"Hop in." She said, and Janis did as told.

She tried to stay out of the way, but still make sure Regina knew she wasn't alone. It felt important for some reason.

"Do you know if she's allergic to anything?" The paramedic asked.

"No allergies." Janis shook her head "Her blood type is O-negative."

"So, is she your friend or girlfriend?" The paramedic asked with a sympathetic look.

"Mortal enemy is more appropriate." Janis murmured with a small smile, getting a confused look. "We used to be best friends."

"But, you were the only one who offered to come with her." The paramedic look befuddled.

"People are assholes." Janis told her with a shrug "They wanted to be around her because she was the pretty, rich, popular girl. Not because of her."

"Tale as old as time." The paramedic shook her head.

The ride to the hospital went by pretty quickly, and before Janis knew it, they were rushing Regina into the E.R.. Once they handed her off, a nurse approached Janis.
"Do you have contact information for a parent or a guardian?" She asked

"Y-yeah, I think I have her mom's number." Janis pulled out her phone with shaky hands and scrolled through her contact list until she found June George. She hadn't used it in years, but she never deleted the number.

She gave it to the nurse, and then the paramedics led her to the waiting room, before leaving.

Janis collapsed onto one of the chairs, staring at a single spot ahead of her, mind spinning. She couldn't believe the past hour actually happened. Regina George actually got hit by a bus. Janis was actually sitting in the hospital waiting room while the doctors treated her.

Janis didn't want to think about it, but she knew that even if the doctors saved Regina, there would be consequences. She had gotten hit by a bus. Her body looked broken.

She didn't even know what the fuck she was doing at the hospital. She and Regina sure as shit weren't friends, and Regina didn't even deserve Janis' help, but the brunette couldn't help it. So, she stayed.

About twenty minutes after she got to the waiting room, the doors opened, and June George rushed in, holding Kylie's hand.

Janis couldn't believe how big Kylie had gotten since she saw her last. The 8-year-old was looking around with wide eyes, clearly scared.

June rushed to the reception desk, where the woman told her that Regina was being treated and someone would come and update her soon.

The blonde turned towards the waiting area with the chairs, and that was when she spotted Janis. She looked taken aback for a long moment, and then she approached.

"Janis, sweetheart, what are you doing here?" She asked, as Janis got to her feet.

"I- I was there." Janis spoke, voice catching in her throat "And the paramedics asked if anyone was going with her. Nobody else stepped up."

"What happened?" June asked, the three of them sitting down.

"She and Cady were fighting." Janis shared shakily "Regina was storming out of the school, and she was looking at Cady while they argued. She stepped onto the crosswalk, and the bus came out of nowhere."

"Bus?" June asked, looking devastated. "They said it was a car accident."

"It was a bus." Janis shook her head.

"Well, thank you for being here." June offered quietly "Even after everything."

"Yeah."

They didn't really talk a lot while they sat there, and Janis considered leaving a few times, but something inside wouldn't let her. She had to know if Regina made it.

One of the doctors came out to update June a couple of times, and they kept saying things like "Her condition is stable." which Janis hoped was a good thing.

Then, about 6 hours after they wheeled her into surgery, two doctors came through the doors of the waiting room.
"Mrs. George," The older one addressed Regina "I'm Dr. Pierson." She shook June's hand "I was the neurosurgeon operating on Regina."

"How is she?" June asked frightfully.

"She is stable." She said grimly "Two of her vertebrae were shattered, and we replaced them with instrumentation. Her neck was also injured." The doctor paused "We put her in a medically induced coma to help her body heal, especially because there is slight brain swelling."

"Oh my God..." June gasped.

"Regina is alive, that is the silver lining here." The surgeon offered soothingly.

"Is- Is she paralyzed?" June asked, tears in her voice.

"It is too soon to tell right now." She said, and Janis felt like she wasn't fully honest "At the moment, we are focused on helping her spine and back heal properly. We will reassess when we reverse the medically induced coma."

"When can we see her?" June asked.

"My colleagues are taking her to the ICU right now," The doctor explained "once they get her settled, someone will come get you. I will be on call for the rest of the night, in case you have any questions or concerns."

"O-Okay, thank you." June breathed.

The nurse that came to take them to the ICU told them there was a 'family only' policy, so there was nothing Janis could do. It was already past 8 p.m., so Janis headed home because she didn't want her parents to worry.

As soon as she stepped through the door, though, that went out of the window.
"Janis?!" Her mom gasped "What the hell happened?!" She demanded, and that's when Janis realized her clothes were stained with Regina's blood.

"I-" Janis stammered "R-Regina got hit by a bus."

"What?!" Both of her parents yelped simultaneously.

"She got hit by a bus." She repeated, and then the tears came. They both rushed over, pulling her into a tight hug as the sobs ripped through her.

She told them everything that had happened, and her mom made sure to text June. The women hadn't been in touch since Regina did what she did, but Malia put that aside for the time being.

Janis ate a little dinner and then retreated to her bedroom. There were dozens of calls and texts on her phone from Damian and Cady and literally everyone at school that had heard that she was there when it happened. Janis responded to none of them. She couldn't. She could only think about Regina's broken body lying there in the street.

The next day, she told Damian about what had happened, and while he was surprised by the way she was affected, he didn't fight her on it.

Two days after the bus crash, Janis got a call from Mrs. George. She said that Regina had been moved from the ICU to a regular room and that Janis could visit, if she wanted to.

Janis got ready to go before she even realized what she was doing.
"Where are you going, kiddo?" Her dad asked, putting down the TV remote.

"Uh, Mrs. George told me Regina got moved to a regular hospital room, and I can visit." She said.

"Janis..."

"I need to see her, Dad!" She said "I need to see she's alive."

"Okay, I'll drive you." He said, and got up to grab his keys and his wallet.

When she got to the hospital, her legs suddenly felt heavy. Like she couldn't walk the distance to Regina's room.
"We can go home right now." Her dad said softly "You don't have to do this."

"I think I do." Janis whispered, and then she walked up to the elevators, her dad in tow. June had texted her the room number, so she didn't have trouble finding the room. When she walked in, she wished she hadn't found it, though.

Regina was lying in bed, a nasal canula on her nose, an external fixator holding her neck and back in place, face scratched up and bruised.

June and Kylie were there, and even Regina's dad was in the room, though he stood to the side. June looked exhausted and devastated, with dark circles under her eyes and red-rimmed eyes. Regina's dad had always been kind of robotic, but he seemed worried too. He and June had divorced two years prior, if gossip was to be believed. Kylie's expression broke Janis' heart. She looked terrified, staring at Regina like her big sister would disappear if she looked away.

"Janis, you came." June tried to smile and failed.

"Yeah." Janis gulped "How- How is she doing?"

"She is getting better bit by bit." Michael, Regina's dad, answered "The doctors are optimistic, considering."

"Let's- Let's grab a cup of coffee, give Janis a minute." June suggested, and Michael nodded.

"No!" Kylie snapped "I'm not leaving Reggie."

"Kylie..." June sighed like she was exhausted.

"It's okay." Janis murmured "Let her stay."

Regina's parents, along with Janis' dad went to get coffee, and then Janis was left alone with the George girls. She hadn't been alone with Regina and Kylie since their falling out.

"You aren't Reggie's friend." Kylie told her, frowning as Janis sat down.

"No, I'm not." Janis replied. She had never lied to Kylie and she wasn't about to start.

"Why are you here, then?!" Kylie demanded.

"I don't know, Kylie." Janis told her honestly. "I don't know why I'm here. I thought I hated her, but then, this happened, and now I don't know."

"She has pictures of you." Kylie murmured, making Janis' heart drop "I think it's like a secret. I found them by accident, and she took them from me. She wasn't mad but she wouldn't talk to me about you."

"Yeah, sounds about right." Janis sighed.

"Karen and Gretchen and Cady didn't come to visit her." Kylie remarked "I thought they were her friends."

"Sometimes, when something horrible happens, some people freeze." Janis explained softly "It doesn't mean that they aren't her friends or that they don't love her."

"I talk to Reggie. The doctor says she can hear us." Kylie stated after a while "Maybe you can tell her something to make her wake up."

"I can try." Janis quirked a smile. She loved how innocent Kylie was.

She took Regina's hand, which was kind of cold, but still as soft as Janis remembered. She hadn't held Regina's hand in more than five years.

"I know you're in pain and everything sucks right now." Janis spoke, blinking back tears "But, you have to wake up and be okay so I can yell at you for what you turned into."

For the next week, Janis tried to maintain a semblance of normalcy, but she kept visiting Regina in the hospital without telling anyone. She did run into Shane a couple of times, and they never talked, but they shared an understanding.

The school was getting shut down for two weeks to deal with the burn book fallout and Regina's accident, and Janis tried to get her mind right during that time, but nothing helped.

Not painting, and definitely not hanging out with Damian and Cady. Damian kept relaying every piece of gossip he'd hear about Regina, no matter how unhinged, while Cady was so wracked with guilt that she couldn't even talk about Regina.

And then, a week after the accident, Janis walked in to find her parents on the couch, waiting for her.
"We have to talk, keiki." Malia said softly, nodding to the armchair.

"What's up?" Janis asked as she sat down.

"Mom and I know you've been struggling with everything that happened." Hale began gently "And since you have some time off from school, we decided that the three of us are going to Hawai'i."

"We know you're worried about Regina," Malia added quickly "but, Janis, we're worried about you."

Janis knew what they meant. The last time there was a big incident involving Regina at school, Janis ended up trying to kill herself.

"Okay." She just said. She knew they meant well.

The week in Hawai'i did help her. She started sleeping through the night and she felt slightly more stable, but she still kept checking her phone for Regina updates. Damian kept relaying the gossip, which wasn't worth much.

Janis enjoyed her time in Hawai'i but it didn't last very long, and soon enough she was back in Evanston. Their plane landed at 6 p.m. and about thirty minutes after they got home, Janis got a text from June that Regina was awake.

So, Janis grabbed her stuff and headed to the hospital. When she got there, she found Regina in her hospital room with her dad, while her mom and Kylie weren't there.

"Hey." She stepped inside hesitantly.

"Janis." Regina's dad looked surprised, then he glanced at his daughter, and then he stepped outside.

"What are you doing here?" Regina asked slowly, her breathing labored like she was in pain.

"Came to make sure you were alive for myself." Janis responded, crossing her arms. As much as she was glad Regina was alive, she still felt angry at the blonde.

"Disappointed the bus didn't do the job?" Regina retorted with a sneer.

"No, that's more your style, I think." Janis shot back.

"No, Janis, seriously what the fuck are you doing here?!" Regina demanded, agitated.

"I was there, Regina, and I hate you, you're a fucking asshole, but no one deserves this." Janis replied.

"Were- Were you there in the ambulance?" She asked.

"Yeah, I rode with you." Janis offered "Sucks being alone after almost dying."

"I don't know what to say to that." Regina said.

"I don't expect you to say anything." Janis shook her head "And you're drugged to high heavens right now."

"True."

Janis didn't know why she kept going back to the hospital but she did. She also had no idea what the burn book fiasco and the bus crash were going to mean for Janis and Regina, if they meant anything.

The only thing she could do was just take it one day at a time. She had missed Regina more than she would ever admit, but she also hated the blonde for what she did. So, that's where they were, and Janis had no idea what to do about it.