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“Um, Illya, what is this?” Napoleon asked as he pulled a pearl earring from between the cushions of The Little Bear, his nickname for the Russian’s couch.
The blond was sitting at his table, large – framed glasses perched on his nose as he perused his backlog of newspapers. They had returned from Arizona earlier in the day and after being debriefed by Mr. Waverly and completing their paperwork, Illya shocked the CEA by offering to spring for Chinese takeout. They had eaten until stuffed and Napoleon had gone to stretch out on the couch. “What is what, Napoleon?” he replied without taking his eyes off the article he was reading.
“This is what,” Napoleon remarked at he waved the teardrop shaped earring over his head until Illya finally looked up. Someone who didn’t know his partner would not have noticed the fleeting “deer caught in the headlights” expression that flitted across Illya’s face, but Napoleon saw it and frowned until an unlikely, but probable, answer began to come to him. “Oh,” he said as realization struck. “Oh.” He sat up and stared at Illya. “Ohhhhhhhhh.”
“Napoleon, as scintillating as your conversation is; is there a question or statement you want to make to which I can reply? Or have you lost the ability to speak?”
Napoleon pointed a finger at Illya. “You’re sleeping with April! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“And you figured that out from a single earring hidden in my couch? Is that not a bit presumptuous on your part?”
Napoleon laughed out loud at that. “Don’t even try it, Partner Mine! Don’t even try to go on the offensive! There are only two females who have made it past your door: That little kitten* and April.”
“That does not mean…”
“That you two had sex?” Napoleon interrupted. “This is an expensive earring; April would have to have been, shall we say, extremely distracted not to notice it was missing. Face it, Tovarisch, you are busted.”
Illya put the newspaper down, folded his hands together on his lap and looked down at the floor. “What are you going to do?” he asked softly.
The smile faded from Napoleon’s face. What am I going to do?, he thought incredulously. “Illya, look at me.” He waited until the Russian raised his eyes to him again. “You’re my friend and so is April. Do you honestly think I would do something to hurt you?” At the bloom of red that began to show on Illya’s face he said, “I’m happy for you, both of you.”
“You are?”
Napoleon came to sit at the table for Illya. “You’re not like me, Illya and neither is April. I hop in and out of women’s beds all the time because that is who I am. You, on the other hand, are far more discriminating. If April was in your bed it’s because you genuinely care and I’m guessing, the feeling is mutual.”
For the first time since they began this conversation, Illya smiled slightly. “Yes, I believe it is. I am sorry if I seemed secretive, but April and I decided we wanted to keep this between us. Are you going to tell Mark?”
“This is not my story to tell, Partner. I suggest you let April know that I know and she can decide whether or not to tell her partner. If she does, I think you’ll both find you underestimated him, too.”
Illya put a hand on Napoleon’s shoulder. “I am sorry; I do trust you. You are a better friend to me than I am to you.”
Napoleon’s smile was bright and full. “Yes, I am and don’t you ever forget it! Again.” He stood, ruffled the blond’s hair and announced, “I’m going home. See you in the morning.”
After Illya reset the alarms after Napoleon’s exit, he walked over to his phone and dialed a number. When it was answered he said, “Hello, how are you? I am fine. Yes, we get back earlier this evening. Napoleon knows about us. He found your pearl earring. No, he will not say anything. Think about telling Mark. I will see you at work. Goodnight.”