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“[TRASH HEAP] you do care!”
That was about all the little guy said before an onslaught of screaming followed by being sprayed with Can O’ Foam. All he had done was call out to an old friend! Surely he didn't deserve all THAT just for saying hi?
“Kris. I am never [doing that] again.”
As he tried to morph back into his more portable form, he was suddenly blocked. He stared wide eyed at the group of teenagers.
“What? Don't want [AS SEEN ON TV] foam in your [Inventory]?”
Suddenly the purple one stepped forward. He knew her name was somewhere in his head, but he didn't care to find it right now.
“What was all that about?”
“That? You mean that [Cathode] and the [Sweet Child O’ Mine] he stole from me?!?”
“No way dude, that was your kid? Shouldn't you go after him?”
“NO! I gifted him that precious Pipis [YEARS AND YEARS] ago!”
The green one spoke up, “Mr Spamton, is that… pipis… an egg? Is it yours and…?”
“It's only a pipis! Nothing that [Heartfelt Connections] me to that TV! Now MOVE!!”
He tried to shove past ralsei to get back into Kris's pocket but was easily stopped.
“So… if it's a gift, why is it bad that he has it? You seemed happy at first to see him with it.”
“It's not that [Easybake Oven]! Aren't you supposed to remember who [gift] you a [gift]?!”
“He's right. Tenna screamed like a baby for 5 freakin minutes! Maybe he just wasn't payin attention, yknow? He seems to have a lot going on.”
“No no NO!!” His glasses glitched, “We were [F•R•I•E•N•D•S] for years! More than that! Business Partners! More! Co hosts! MORE-”
Susie interrupted him, “Oookay, we don't need to know all that. But if you were that close, why didn't he recognize you?”
He frowned, turning his whole body into a slump.
“I didn't always used to be such a little [BIG SHOT]... I had [Success at YOUR Doorstep!] I had loyal fans! We were supposed to be [All in this together!]”
The teenagers looked tense. They didn't seem to be ready for… all this.
“Kris knows the whole story…” he sighed.
Kris wiggled their hand. They knew most of it, but he hadn't ever really gone into the tenna stuff until now.
“Well,” Ralsei started, “Maybe we can try talking to him? Once we get him to call off the next round, we'll convince him you're the same friend he used to know!”
Spamton suddenly bounced back up, full of life.
“Really? [Ralsei Plush only 32.99] you would do that for me?!?!”
Ralsei nodded, trying to forget the adorable plush he saw earlier on the game screen.
Spamton wrapped his small arms around the fellow darkner, covering his cloak in foam. That TV wouldn't ignore him this time!!
Spamton heard some yelling from beyond the pocket. It was him! He was RIGHT THERE. But he couldn't leave! Something was stopping him again.
“Mailman?? You mean that ‘big shot’ that stood me up all those years ago? As if I ever want to talk to him again!”
“Tenna, come on. I bet he misses you or something?”
Susie's encouragement didn't seem to help much. Tenna only looked more frustrated.
Kris was holding their pocket closed after feeling the glasses inside rattle like crazy.
RalseI tried a different approach.
“Mr Tenna, we've spoken to him. We know him. We think he does miss you, he's just not really… himself anymore.”
It was hard to miss his feet tapping louder.
“So what? You mean he's forgotten why I'm mad at him too? Are you trying to tell me there's no point in me being angry at all???”
He dramatically waved his arms around, stopping to slouch even more so.
Susie balled a fist, “Nah, of course not! Give him a good punch, his memories'll come back.”
Ralsei grabbed her arm quickly, “No, no, let's not do that!”
Susie groaned, giving up. Kris looked like they wanted to say something but couldn't quite get it out.
“You alright, Kris? Wanna give your advice next?”
Kris frowned, knowing what came next after any question. They spoke in a voice unfamiliar to them.
“You have to give him a chance.”
They cringed at the cheesiness. It's up to Tenna how he handles this, not a bunch of kids…
Tenna shrunk some, “Really? Do you think so?”
“Yes! That's a good idea, Kris!”
Before Susie could put in her two cents also, Tenna burst back to full height.
“WELL! We better get on with round 2. Can't stop the fun now! I'll… consider your offer.”
He boogied off the stage, leaving the group confused and unsatisfied.
As soon as Spamton heard the loud voice finally stop talking, he went back to whatever spamtons usually do inside pockets. Root around for old coins or something. It sounded like things had gone decent enough.
After what felt like forever, spamton guessed the second round hadn't been canceled. This had to be the third round. Maybe the fourth? He was about to give up entirely, deciding that his only friend, Kris, had forgotten about him too.
A new voice spoke from inside the pocket… realm.
“Too much chaos, chaos?” The voice laughed with an echo.
Spamton turned around, eyes nearly bulging out of his head.
“YOU!!! YOU [#$!?]?!?!?”
The other only laughed again, floating in loose circles.
“What, have a problem, problem? Do I know you?”
“Don't act like you don't [know it all] me, you [Clown Around Town]!!”
“Ohhh! That's right! You're that little salesman! When did you make your way into this dimension?”
“A [Number 1 Rates Salesman] like me doesn't need to explain to a [The Joker: now in theaters]”
Jevil smiled even wider, it quickly turning into a yawn.
“Whatever you say… I'm tired, tired.”
“Have you been [sleep tight] this whole Time?”
“Yes! But I've heard the drama! Another ex, ex?”
Spamton got so angry that smoke seemed to puff out of his… ears(?)
“THATS NONE OF YOUR [business inquiries only]!!!” he lost his gusto mid thought, “An old [PAL] of mine… he [Don't forget to Don't forget me].”
“That's a sad, sad tale. Maybe someone else will care?”
Spamton tried to throw a kick at the jester, but he easily dodged with a cackle.
“Go back to sleep already! Leave me [All alone on a Friday night?]!”
Jevil shrugged, bored at the lack of attention he was getting. He curled back into a ball and disappeared into the darkness.
While they were bickering, it seems like something may have happened on the outside. Some other fight had started… Geez these kids were always getting up to something.
After a while longer of moping in silence, things quieted down. Another shadow crystal fell into the pocket, but no one came with it. He was getting curious and wanted a way out… Surely Kris hadn't actually forgotten?
Eventually, his glasses were momentarily pulled out of the pocket to be conveyed a short message.
“Sorry, we'll figure this out tomorrow.”
He was quickly shoved back into the pocket for the night. Might as well sleep, it's not like he could do anything in the light world.
When he woke up next, he was released straight out of the pocket world and into what he was told is called Castle Town.
“Wow! [High quality guaranteed] all around! Not a bad spot!”
He looked around, amused by all the darkners he'd never seen before. The big castle in the middle caught his attention the most.
“Yes, I keep the place very tidy! Come with us.”
He followed the group inside of the castle and up the stairs. Each door had its own personality, and he froze in front of the one that was clearly themed after television.
“Alright little guy, we told Tenna to be normal for a bit. He won't freak out on you again.”
“What Susie said is right! We let him know that when he saw you yesterday, that was… you. He was surprised, but he's ready to talk now!”
Despite the reassurances from the more talkative members of the team, he looked to Kris for the final go ahead.
“Go for it,” they said with a nod, not seeming too annoyed by their own words.
Spamton stepped forward, opening the door. He'd never really bothered with knocking before. He closed the door behind him, eyes catching on the larger than life figure facing away from him.
“Is it really you?”
“[Look at these deals!] for yourself!”
Tenna turned around slowly to see the small puppet standing just past the doorway. Getting a closer look, the resemblance was clear.
“What happened to you?”
“I got mixed up in some [Deal Gone Wrong.mp3]... and now I'm a [Muppet of a Man]!”
“Was leaving me worth it?”
“Leaving you?! You're the one that [LEAVE] me!!”
Tenna crossed his arms, “Are you kidding? I was about to make us the biggest stars in history, but you just Had to take a phone call!”
“A [Call this number] that was supposed to be an even greater deal!”
“Oh sure. Just say you never liked working with me in the first place.”
“Hey, don't go all mopey on me! I just said I [Win Big!] for us! But you left before I could tell you the good news!”
“What about this is good? You're a foot tall and talk like a corrupted radio!” He huffed loudly.
“He promised me… he… promised that I'd be…”
His glasses showed only static, and he seemed to be stuck in a loop. Tenna yelled his name to snap him out of it.
“Spamton! What the hell really happened to you? I thought with you going off on your own, you'd make it bigger than I ever could and rub your success all over me. But I haven't heard from you, and now you suddenly show up like… this!”
“Do you not like it?”
Tenna tilted his head, surprised.
“Me? Do you even like it?”
“It's great! Can't you tell how [Energize your Day] I am?”
Tenna couldn't understand half of his interjections. Maybe he really didn't understand how much of a fall out they'd really had. But who was he supposed to be mad at then? All he could muster up while looking down at his old partner was pity. He sat down to be at a better viewpoint.
“Spammy… why'd you come by?”
“To see you! Apparently you only Hate Me a little!”
“Hate is a little strong…”
Spamton sat down too.
“It's [only a small fine]-” he smacked his head, “It's fine if you do. I did leave before explaining my [BIG SHOT] plan.”
“The plan that made you into a corrupt program?”
Spamton frowned as much as he could with such a wide mouth.
“As if you're having better [GET LUCKY!]”
Tenna huffed dramatically, “Point taken.”
“I meant to let you in on the success! But that… that voice… that….. that…” He shook his head violently, forcing the glitch to stop on his own this time, “It didn't work out. I've been [Down in the dumps?] this whole time. Literally.”
“You could have tried to tell me that… You could have said… Well, anything!” Tenna tried to calm himself, not meaning to get so worked up over this.
“I thought you didn't want to see me!! The voice on the phone- it… He told me to make [Big Deals] alone! That no one else would understand a [little sponge] like me.”
“Yikes… sounds like he was a pretty bad guy,” Tenna leaned back onto one hand, sighing deep, “I guess we've both been used up, huh?”
“You? Just because you're a [TRASH HEAP], it doesn't mean you're a [HEAP OF TRASH].”
The sentiment didn't exactly get across, but Tenna could tell he was aiming for reassurance.
“You don't have to lie to me, I know I've fulfilled my purpose. No one watches classic TV anymore!”
“You don't have [Stream it now!]?”
“I don't even know what streaming is!!”
Spamton laughed loudly, “We've all got to adapt at some point!”
Tenna groaned, “Right, sure.”
It was quiet for a few awkward moments. Spamton was kicking his feet rather calmly, but the other was tapping a foot faster and faster.
“So, [boob tube], you kept the Pipis I gave you?”
He squeaked, jumping slightly. His monitor turned a light pink for just a moment.
“It was a nice gift! I couldn't just throw it away!”
“Nicest gift I could give you!”
Tenna nodded nervously, “Why’d you give it to me, anyways? It was long before we… parted ways.”
“It's a [Specil Deal: One Time Only]. I couldn't keep them all to myself!”
“I mean, why me? Couldn't you have sold them?”
“SOLD THEM?!?!? What am I, some kind of [HORRID CREACHER]?!?! They're precious! I gave you one to look after!”
Tenna felt a familiar warmth hit his chest, but he tried to force it away.
“I didn't offer anything in return, though.”
“Didn't you promise to make us [BIG SHOT]s? That was the goal, right?”
“Of course it was! Does information not stay in your little head?”
Spamton squinted at him.
“Sorry… but… you're acting like this wasn't as big of a deal as it was. You can't just leave someone for so long…”
“And I thought I told you already, I couldn't find you!” the saturation on his glasses cranked up for a moment.
“You…” he looked straight into his eyes for the first time, “Looked for me?”
“I- thats- [Keeping Secrets?] Not what-”
Tenna looked bigger than before.
“I mean, we were in different dark worlds, how were you supposed to find me?”
“That was the [Challenge Mode]! Eventually, I gave up. Then I met Kris! What a wonderful [Number One Customer]!”
Tenna smiled a little, “They are a good kid, aren't they? Gave me a second chance.”
“They rescued me from the DUMP! I couldn't get their [HEART SHAPED OBJECT], but I realized I didn't need that! All I needed was a [True friendship].”
“True friendship?”
“Yep! Now I have new friends and I'm happier Than ever!”
Tennas smiled turned a little sour.
“Happier than when we…” he trailed off, quietly.
“Well, that's all in the [History Channel], isn't it? I had to move on at some point, didn't you?”
He got no answer.
“... didn't you? Tenna?”
Tenna hid his head behind his knees.
“You really [Think about it] me this whole time? You really wanted to [TAKE A GOOD LOOK!] at me again?”
He spoke muffled behind his legs, “Whatever! Sorry for missing my friend! I'm the most embarrassing person you've ever seen!”
“Embarassing? Are you [KILLING ME]? I'm HONORED! My old pal, was it all just a [Missed Connections?]?”
“I don't know! I messed a lot of things up! Clearly I left the only person that cared about me to rot in the garbage while I chased success alone!”
Spamton kicked him in the leg, getting him to show his face again.
“What's a little [OW IT BURNS] between friends?” He stuck out his hand.
Tenna peeked out nervously, seeing that he was being genuine. He grabbed the hand and held it firm.
Spamton clasped the hand way bigger than his own and shaked it erratically.
“Look at that! We're back in business!”
“Noooo, no more business for me for a little while. Maybe we weren't meant to work so close together.”
Spamton only smiled wider, “That's what you always used to say!”
“I mean it, Spammy! I mean- Spamton! We'll just end up clashing heads again…”
Spamton sighed, nodding.
“Maybe you're [Turn Right Here].”
It was once again silent. Neither knew what to say next, but the air still felt full of questions.
…
“[@?!#] you're a lot bigger than I remembered!”
Tenna cocked an… eyebrow.
“You're the one that's shrunk, Spamton.”
“Details, details! We always had a height difference, but [HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA] [!?##]!”
Tenna turned a little red again, “Was that your way of saying hot damn?”
Spamton shrugged, “And that nose! It's [WOW!] It's even bigger than mine!”
Tenna visibly grew a few inches taller.
“You're just trying to butter me up, you weasel.”
Spamton laughed again, “That's what I [Do Your Best!]”
Tenna sighed with an embarrassed grumble, rubbing his face. He couldn't tell if Spamton was really here to make amends or just to get something out of him. He liked to think the latter was out of the question, but they'd been around each other for too long.
“...Is the whole gang just waiting outside the door?”
“What, wanting to get [R RATED FILMS]?”
Tenna turned bright red, “Don't start this again! And… no! I just feel bad making them wait…”
Spamton walked over to the door, peeping outside.
“No, they're [GOING, GOING, GONE!]. They seemed busy anyway.”
Tenna sighed in relief. Really, what he had been worried about was them overhearing all of the drama. He didn't want them to think he was shutting out his only chance at making amends or that he was some embarrassing crybaby.
“That's good. They wanted to hunt down the knight, so they better get on with it already…”
He locked gazes with spamton again, feeling even more unsure about himself this time.
“Is something on my face?” He tried to clear the air.
Spamton walked back over, getting closer than he was before. He suddenly bolted forwards, wrapping his arms as far around the bigger man as he could.
“I missed ya, Tenna!”
Tenna froze, not sure why he wasn't reacting. Just hug him back, he used to do it all the time. This wasn't any different!
Spamton pulled away with a short laugh, “[Too much!] too soon?”
Tenna sighed with a hint of disappointment, “No, it's not that. I just- Well, you understand surely, I don't- well, no. That's not it either… I-”
“I'm not sayin we're [HOTTOGO] or anything, but if you still have hard [Feeling Lonely?][s], maybe I should-”
“No! Don't leave again!” He realized how desperate he sounded, trying to hide it with a cough, “I'm… sorry. I'm not used to all this one-on-one time. Give me a second try?”
Spamton smiled, hugging him again. This time, he was met with big arms wrapping all the way around his body. He wasn't too aware of the way his cheeks turned even redder than usual.
Spamton was right, they didn't have to fix their… friendship… right away or anything. But it always feels good to clear the air. Tenna hadn't expected to reunite with him like this, but how else could it have really gone?
It would probably be a long time before everything felt normal again between the two of them, but spending time together in Castle Town would be a good place to start. They had a long history that wouldn't just be destroyed by a few universal misunderstandings! The knight and whoever made that phone call could go suck a pipis for all they cared!
…
[When the light is running low and the shadows start to glow. And the places that you know. Seem like fantasy-]
“Wait. Do you hear that too?”
“That's just the [[Staff Credits]] rolling!”
“The WHAT?!?!”
[There's a light inside your soul that keeps shining in the cold with the truth. The promise in our heeeeaaaaarrrrts.]
“Chapter's over, [TRASH HEAP]! I mean [FRIENd]!”
“You're telling me we don't get to see what happens next?”
“[NO!] Maybe we'll get a [Cameo] in the next one!”
[Don't forget. I'm with you in the daaaaaaaaaaark.]
…
Tenna scratched his head.
“Well. I guess that's the end, folks. See you next ti-”
YOUR OUTRO IS TAKING TOO LONG