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Lev groans in frustration and drops his head on his desk. After a moment, he shifts his head to the side to check the clock on his bedside table. He groans even louder when he sees that only about ten minutes have passed since he last looked over.
He slithers back into a somewhat upright position, but he still slouches heavily over his notebook. It’s open to a page with several ideas written and scribbled out, and if Lev turned back a couple pages, the same would be visible on each page. He has an English assignment due tomorrow, specifically an “Ode to...(something),” and he's been trying to come up with something for it ever since he got back from practice with no results. Admittedly, there were several snack breaks and he may have watched TV for a while...but he was still thinking about it. Because it was in the back of his mind! He was just...letting his subconscious do the work!
Yeah.
Only it seems his subconscious did absolutely no work, because he still has nothing and it’s almost midnight.
Lev lets his mind wander around, hoping for some inspiration, and it inevitably settles on volleyball. Today, during practice, he’d gotten several good hits, which still gave him a thrill to think about.
However, that paled compared to the enormous satisfaction he felt when, at the end of practice, he’d gotten his first ever great recieve. Yamamoto-san had hit the ball, and Lev had sent it up and straight back to the setter’s spot.
Lev whooped with joy, and ignored the fact that the hit had been straight on, and, honestly, not Yamamoto’s strongest hit. Everyone else had grinned, despite themselves, at Lev’s exultation. Yaku-san and Kuroo-san had both slapped him on the back before Yaku-san told Lev not to let it go to his head, and that he was still expected to stay after practice to work on his receives.
Nothing could dampen his good mood, though, and for the first time, Lev found himself enjoying the extra practice. Now that he was getting better at it, it felt pretty good, and more time playing volleyball was never a bad thing. He could practically picture Yaku-san’s face if he told him that he was enjoying passing. Yaku-san would immediately stick his chin up and tell Lev something like, “Well, I don’t do it because it’s a chore.”
With Lev’s mind still on free reign, it wandered to Yaku-san’s many other faces. Yaku-san, irritated with Lev for calling him short. Yaku-san, laughing at Kuroo’s antics to try to get Kenma to practice more or to eat his vegetables. Yaku-san, yelling, but then patiently working with Lev when he had no idea what he was doing. Yaku-san, intensely focused on the ball, face flushed with exertion, eye set with determination to reach his goal.
Oh…
Lev sits up and looks down into his lap, then awkwardly shifts as he looks away and flushes deeply, even with no one around. An image of Kuroo-san smirking at him flashes into his mind, saying, "Oho~ somebody has a crush~~." and he pushes it away forcefully, even if it does help with his problem a bit.
This was...unexpected...and weird. Yaku-san is his senpai, and his friend, and a boy…
But that wasn’t a problem, right? Lev’s mother had a friend who was with another woman, so two boys could probably be together, too.
So it is completely fine that he has a crush on Yaku-san. Maybe. Experimentally, he thinks about kissing Yaku-san, bending down to hold his face between his hands, Yaku-san’s eyes falling shut, and his frowning lips molding with Lev’s as they lose themselves in each other. Yaku looking up at Lev with lowered eyelids, saying breathlessly, "Lev…"
Ok, yes. Yes, he definitely has a crush on Yaku-san, and his problem is back.
Lev isn’t sure what to do with this development. Should he tell Yaku-san? Will Yaku-san think it’s weird that they’re both boys? Maybe Yaku-san will think that he only likes him because he’s small.
Lev shakes his head, looking down at his desk. Oh, yeah. He still has to write this dumb poem. He checks the clock again, and sees that almost half an hour has gone by while he was musing. Crap.
He can’t focus now, not with this realization. All he can think about it Yaku-san’s indignant face when Lev thinks about calling him cute.
He could always write his poem about Yaku-san, Lev supposes. He thinks about it for a minute, checks the time, and then just goes for it, pretending not to think about what his class would think about it if they knew.
Wednesday morning dawns bright and early, and Lev is very aware of his printed English poem lying in his backpack. He sits through his morning classes with his muscles tensed, sure that someone in his class has ex-ray vision, and is reading his poem through the layers of his bag.
The ode is quite good, if he does say so himself, and Lev wouldn’t exactly say he’d be mad if anyone read it. He would, however, be a little worried they’d figure out about his huge, gigantic crush for his senpai. He’d gotten no sleep last night after throwing the poem together. He’d just lain there and tried to come to grips with these newfound feelings that run straight through his very core. He still hasn’t figured out what to do about it.
When he saw Yaku-san this morning at practice, Lev expected to feel like his whole world had changed. But aside from a slight feeling of contentment and a couple butterflies, he had felt pretty much the same as always. He was just more aware of when the butterflies were especially flighty.
Now, in class, he just feels really tired and a bit nervous about how his teacher will take his ode.
The day goes by very slowly (with lots of yawns) and by the time he makes it to English, he’s ready for the day to be over.
“Alright, everyone, it’s time to hand in your odes!” is Ikeda-sensei’s greeting.
There’s a couple of quiet groans from people who hoped she would forget to ask for them. Then the shuffling of paper is heard and the odes are handed toward the front. Lev hands his forward without thought, completely over being nervous about it when there’s no use.
Once she has everyone’s odes, she speaks again, “I have some good news for you all.”
Lev vainly hopes that she’s going to cancel the test.
“Tomorrow, I’ll bring back the corrected English odes, and you can have the chance to volunteer to read the poem in front of the class.”
Lev really doesn’t understand how that could, in any way, be good news.
“If you do decide to volunteer, you’ll be given 5 extra credit points on the exam.”
That catches Lev’s attention and his eyes widen. Extra credit? From Ikeda-sensei? It’s practically unheard of!
“Are there any immediate volunteers?” She asks while pulling out a piece of paper and a pen to record the volunteers.
In desperate need of those extra credit points, Lev frantically raises his hand and doesn’t put it down until he’s sure Ikeda-sensei has written him down as one of the volunteers. Just before she calls him, he remembers what he wrote about.
“Haiba-kun?”
“Yes!” he squeaks.
The class laughs, and Lev can feel his face flush.
Ikeda-sensei looks up at him. “Are you sure?”
Lev quickly thinks about his poem, what it’s about, and nervously looks around the room, before steeling himself and sucking it up. He really needs these points. Maybe they won’t understand it when he reads it to them.
Besides, Lev tells himself, even if they do, his poem is really good, so he shouldn’t worry about it. He should be confident about it! He had worked hard on it.
Lev beams his biggest smile, “Yes!”
“Yaku-kun!”
Yaku turns around, frowning slightly, wondering who had called his name. His frown deepens in confusion when he realizes who it was.
It was Ikeda-sensei, a first-year teacher, leaning out of the doorway to her office, and waving him over with a slight smile, “I’d like to talk to you for a minute, please. I know you have volleyball practice, so I’ll try to make it quick!”
Brow furrowed, Yaku responds slowly, “Alright...”
With another smile and a nod, she disappears back into her office.
Confusion swirling, he turns up to Kai next to him and asks, “Can you tell Coach where I am? And that I’ll be there as soon as I can?”
“Sure,” Kai says, glancing at Ikeda-sensei’s office door before he walks off toward the gym.
Yaku turns back and rounds the doorway into Ikeda-sensei’s office.
Walking in, he searches his brain for any reason that this particular first year teacher would want to talk to him, but he comes up blank. She hadn’t even been his teacher his first year; he had been in a higher class.
Ikeda-sensei is standing at her desk, messing with some papers with one hand, and her other hand is on her phone at her ear. Irritation pierces him for a moment before he smothers it. Why did she call him in here only to make a phone call?
“You know the way?” she’s asking, fidgeting absentmindedly with the papers in her hands. “And Miku is with you?”
A pause. Yaku stands there awkwardly.
“Ok, make sure you go straight there. Don’t make any other stops and don’t talk to strangers.”
Ah...it must be her kid that she’s talking to.
“Yes. I love you, ok? I gotta go. Text me when you get there...Bye.”
The phone drops onto her desk as she turns to Yaku with the same polite smile from earlier. She speaks again as she sits down.
“Take a seat,” she says, gesturing to the spare chair next to her desk. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve called you in here.”
Yaku nods as he takes advantage of the plastic school chair.
“Well, it’s a bit of an odd situation, I’m afraid.”
That really doesn’t help Yaku out...at all.
“You see, I’m teaching a poetry unit to the first years to help them get acquainted to English from a different perspective,” she begins, looking Yaku dead in the eye.
He blinks, and nods that he’s listening, but by this point, he is utterly bewildered about how this applies to him.
“I was hoping it might spark some interest in a few students. I’m not naive enough to think everyone would be engrossed in poetry, but I was thought it might help some students make connections and remember the vocabulary more easily.”
Ikeda-sensei pauses, breaking eye contact to look down at her papers. When she looks back up, she has a look of almost exasperation on her face, but continues with what she was saying.
“The particular type of poetry we’re focusing on right now is the ode.” Pause. “Do you know what an ode is?”
Yaku nods, but struggles to find the words for a moment, “Like, admiring something, right?”
She beams at him like he’s her star student. “Exactly! It’s about something you admire or it can be about something you enjoy and you just want to express how great it is.”
Another awkward pause. It seems like she’s trying to build herself up to this. Yaku really has no idea what to expect, but he braces himself.
She takes a deep breath. “You know Haiba-kun, correct?”
Yaku falls deeper into the pit of confusion, but scrambles to try to put everything together. What the heck does Lev have to do with this? What does he have to do with Lev? “Yes?”
Ikeda seems to sense his confusion, and with an indulging smile, she trudges on.
“I’ve been teaching English in Haiba-kun’s class and he struggles quite a bit with grasping it. Not that he hasn’t tried! He is very enthusiastic about everything he does, but he still can’t quite grasp the basic concepts. Although, when we started the poetry unit, he finally seemed to be getting it, and I was very proud of him.
“I had them start with haikus because they’re short, and they’re a form of poetry that we’re familiar with. He’s written several haikus in English, and appears to enjoy it. It’s honestly very satisfying to me that my poetry idea was actually working.”
She pauses, yet again, for the barest hint of a second, but Yaku can see her steel herself.
“When we got to the odes this week, as you can imagine, I was curious to see what Haiba-kun would come up with. He didn’t know what to write about at first and I reminded him again that it was ‘something you enjoy or admire that you just want to tell everyone is great.’ I knew he only had to be struck with motivation, and it would be good. And it is, it is quite good, for someone learning English, but…”
She sighs, glancing down at her papers again, before making direct eye contact.
“He decided to write his ode about you, Yaku-kun.”
Yaku’s whirling thoughts abruptly come to a halt.
What.
“What?”
“Yes, imagine my surprise when one of my students wrote a poem about another student who wasn’t a girl they were longing for. I’ve had a couple of those.”
Yaku tries not to think about those poems relating to him and Lev, however tempting it is. His thoughts have instantly teleported from the pit of confusion to the beginnings of a rapidly growing stream of hope. He tries to mentally dam it with a dose of reality, about how Lev is a first-year, probably doesn’t like him, and it most likely wouldn’t work out, but it still trickles through his mind.
“The issue, though, is that the students were asked to volunteer to read their poetry to the class tomorrow, for extra credit, and Haiba-kun immediately raised his hand. He wants very much to read his ode, and he seems very proud of it.”
“Uh…” No. Under no circumstances would Yaku be okay with Lev just throwing this out there for the world to see.
“I have a policy that anything read in class about another person has to be okay’d with the person that it’s about. That’s why I called you in here. I was hoping you’d okay Lev’s poem.”
“How bad is it?” Yaku asks.
She laughs a little, “Why don’t you read it and decide for yourself? Would you like to read it in English or Japanese?”
Yaku tilts his chin up. “I’ll read it in English.” He is a third year, after all.
Ikeda-sensei hands him the page. He braces himself and begins to read.
Ode to Yaku-san
By Haiba Lev
You’re very small.
Of course. Yaku’s going to punch him.
Don’t hit me, it’s true!
One of the first things
someone sees
when they look at you
is your height, your brown hair,
your frown that
never quite disappears.
You’re the best libero!
There’s no one better
to teach me to pass.
What you do isn’t flashy
and BAM like the ace,
but you’re the most important
because there wouldn’t be
a ball for the ace to hit without you.
You yell at me a lot
–and hit me and kick me–
but I know you care.
You want to win
and everyone looks to you
with respect.
I hope that I
can be like you someday.
If my recieves
are even half as good as yours,
I’ll be happy!
Thanks for everything
you’ve done for me this year.
I’ll keep in it my heart,
for the years to come.
Thank you, Yaku-san.
Yaku stares blankly at the paper, certain his cheeks were on fire. This was...not what he had expected. The stream of hope breaks through the dam and floods his thoughts. Yaku skims back through it a couple times, trying to buy some time to arrange his rampant thoughts.
Slowly, he looks up at Ikeda-sensei with dread, her question lingering obviously in the silence between them.
“Please...no…”
She looks a bit forlorn and remarks, “Haiba-kun is very excited to read it. He thinks it’s the best.”
Of course he would, it’s Lev. Yaku glances back down at the paper, skimming the poem once again.
“It’s very...uh...flattering...it’s just...um...really embarrassing…” he admits, shuffling uncomfortably as he looks back up.
Ikeda-sensei regards him for a minute before saying, “If it influences your decision, try to remember that they’re all first years learning English, and knowing Haiba-kun, he’ll probably talk too fast for them to understand.”
Yaku felt a bit sick at the thought of a full class of first years listening to Lev blabber about him. No. No, this was a bad idea, and he opens his mouth to say so when a clear image of Lev is swept into the front of his mind. Lev bouncing up and down in excitement. Lev, with fierce determination to be the best. Lev…
...getting down on himself when he’s had a bad day at practice, shanking passes left and right. Lev disappointedly staying home when the rest of them went to Karasuno without him.
He groans, before saying reluctantly, “I would...prefer that he didn’t.”
Ikeda-sensei leans forward, hopeful on Lev’s behalf. “But..?”
“But...if he’s excited about it…and you’re sure that the others probably won’t understand...I suppose…” he lets out a huge puff of air, “...it would be alright.”
Ikeda-sensei smiles, “Thank you, Yaku-kun, I’m sure Haiba-kun will be extremely excited to read his ode.”
“This kid’s gonna be the death of me,” Yaku mutters.
Ikeda-sensei laughs at that. “Well, I don’t have anything else for you, so you can go on to practice now. Thank you for your time.”
Yaku bows and says, “Thank you very much!” before rushing out. One more minute in that room and he may have combusted. His cheeks are still on fire, and he presses his hands to them to try to bring them back to room temperature, while walking quickly toward the gym.
The gym.
Yaku stops short. How? How is he going to face Lev after this?
“Good morning everyone!” is this first thing Ikeda-sensei says when she walks into the room on Thursday.
“Good morning, Ikeda-sensei,” is everyone’s response.
“I’ve corrected all of your odes, and I’m glad to say that there were several good ones. I’ll be handing them back to you now, and I’d like you all to practice saying them for a few minutes before anyone starts reading to the class.” She adds, “Remember if you volunteer to read your ode, you’ll get five extra credit points on your exam.”
After a good night’s sleep, Lev feels much better about his poem, and he realizes that he doesn’t need to worry about his crush on Yaku-san, because that’s all it is, a crush. If he’s not planning on doing anything about it, he doesn’t need to worry about it.
Lev hums in excitement as Ikeda-sensei hands back the poems, and tries not to rip his from her when she comes to him. Looking over his poem, Lev is happy to note that there aren’t very many corrections to his original draft. He sounds out the new words and then has enough time to read straight through it twice before Ikea-sensei brings the class’s attention back to her.
“I have the list of those who volunteered yesterday, is there anyone who doesn’t want to read theirs anymore?”
A girl in the front right raises her hand slowly.
“Are you sure, Yukimura?” Ikeda-sensei asks.
The girl hesitates, and then nods.
“Ok.” Ikeda-sensei crosses out her name on the list. “Is there anyone who wants to be added to the list?”
Several classmates raise their hands and are added to the list.
“Alright, we’ll be starting with Nakano-kun, and if we don’t get through everyone today, we’ll continue tomorrow.”
Lev is disappointed that he isn’t first, but it doesn’t really matter as long as he gets to read it eventually. He claps along as Nakano finishes and Sasaki is called up. More people read their odes, and Lev grows progressively more agitated as the end of the class gets closer. The nerves try violently to resurface. Lev knows that it won’t be the end of the world, and he can still read it tomorrow, but he really would rather read it today.
“Haiba-kun?”
His name pulls him roughly from his thoughts, and he practically leaps up and yells, “Yes!”
The class giggles and snickers, the second day in a row where they've laughed at him, while Ikeda-sensei merely smiles, “Would you still like to read your poem?”
“Yes!” Lev quickly moves to the front of the class with his corrected English poem in hand.
Looking out at the class, he realizes that most of the class isn’t really paying attention, and that makes him feel a mix of relief and frustration. He feels better that no one will really know what he’s saying about Yaku-san, but he also believes that everyone needs to know how great his senpai really is. Debating internally for a few seconds, Lev quickly makes the decision that they should definitely listen, and he’ll make them listen.
He takes a deep breath and says firmly, “Ode to Yaku-san! By me, Haiba Lev.”
He pauses, glancing up. Good, everyone is looking at him now. With satisfaction, he continues.
As Lev reads the first few lines, all his nerves are swept away as Yaku-san’s indignant “Don’t call me small!” face stalks through his thoughts. He briefly imagines what it would be like to read the poem to Yaku-san, and continues to try to guess how Yaku-san would react in an ideal world. He’s done quicker than he expected.
There’s a bit of silence after he’s finished, and the bell tolls just as his classmates begin the obligatory clap. Lev walks quickly back to his desk to gather his things, and ignores the couple of peculiar looks he feels from his classmates at they, too, pack to leave.
As he’s walking out, Ikeda-sensei is packing up her materials but takes the time to say, “You did a great job of reading with emotion, Haiba-kun. I’m very glad that you volunteered to read it and that Yaku-kun gave his permission.”
Lev tries not to vibrate from the praise. “Thank you ve-” His mind processed the rest of what she said.
Huh??
“Eh? Yaku-san?”
“Ah, yes, though very reluctantly, I might add.”
Oh. Oh, no...oh, no.
“Did Yaku-san...did he read it?”
She gives him an odd look. “Well, yes. He had to know what he was agreeing to, Haiba-kun,” she admonishes. Then she laughs a bit, “Although, I did tell him that the class probably wouldn’t understand the poem, but...you were so enthusiastic that everyone was all but forced to pay attention.”
He stands there, speechless, the need to go to practice forgotten. Lev’s satisfaction at succeeding in making the class realize how great Yaku-san is, is far outweighed by his shock that Yaku-san had seen his poem.
Yaku-san had read his poem. Yaku-san had read his poem???
“W-when did he read it?” Lev forces out.
“Yesterday, after classes.”
Lev’s mind has gone from 0 to 60 in two seconds. Yaku-san had read it yesterday? Lev can’t believe that he hasn’t gotten ambushed by a 165.2 cm whirlwind intent on destroying him yet. Is Yaku-san waiting until he was alone? When he’s walking home, maybe? Wait...Yaku-san had agreed to letting Lev read the poem to his class? How could that have happened? Did Ikeda-sensei talk to the wrong Yaku? Lev doesn’t know of any other Yaku’s at this school, but he supposes there could be another.
“Haiba-kun?”
Lev is dragged from his rapid-fire thoughts. Ikeda-sensei is frowning at him with concern in her eyes. Her things are packed up and she looks about to leave the classroom.
“Don’t you have practice?”
“Gah!” he exclaims. “Thank you very much, sensei!”
Lev runs out of the classroom, and tries not to sprint to be on time. As he reaches the club room, Kuroo and Kenma are the last to leave to head to the gym.
“Hurry up, Lev.”
“Yes, Kenma-san!”
Lev ignores Kuroo’s retreating snickers and scurries to get dressed for practice, fumbling with his school uniform in his hurry. He runs into the gym just as they’re starting to stretch and Lev slides in between Kai and Fukunaga.
While they stretch and warm up, Lev’s mind automatically goes back to the issue at hand. Yaku-san had read his poem yesterday. He had probably read it just before practice.
So that’s why Yaku-san had been late to practice. But...Yaku-san hadn’t acted any different after he’d shown up. Did he think it was stupid and had laughed it off with Kuroo? Is he waiting for the right moment to bring it up? Or did he not know what to say, and decided to ignore it? Did he even put much thought into it? Did he know why Lev had written it?
They’re moving to start practice when Lev stops short. What if Yaku-san knew exactly what the poem meant and wasn’t sure how to put Lev down easy?
“Lev? Are you alright?” It’s Shibayama, looking up at him curiously when he stopped abruptly.
Lev responded enthusiastically, “I’m fine! I’m just...nervous about my English class!”
Why had he said that?
Lev turns to look at Yaku-san just as the upperclassman looks away. Great. Now Yaku-san knows that he knows that Yaku-san knows.
Lev shakes his head. There’s no use worrying about it right now. He decides the best thing to do is to just get it over with and talk to Yaku-san after practice. Getting everything off his chest would make him feel better in the end anyway.
Yaku hadn’t really decided what to do about Lev, yet. Obviously, it’s a bad idea. First, Yaku will be leaving after this year. Second, Lev is way younger than him, and has probably just gotten admiration confused with attraction. Lastly, Lev is an idiot. All valid reasons why they shouldn't be together.
The biggest thing, of course, being that they’re both guys. It doesn’t really matter to Yaku, and his parents are too busy to notice he’s been keeping a cat in his room for two years, so they probably wouldn’t even know. But Lev…
Lev’s probably just being impulsive again. He can’t possibly realize that not everyone will accept them, that even his own parents may not accept him. He can’t possibly realize that everywhere they went, they’d be judged, possibly shunned.
Yaku can’t do that to Lev, no matter how tempting it is to just ignore the possible consequences and run off into the sunset. It would be selfish, and there would be a lot of pain when Lev realized what a mistake he'd made.
They’re cleaning the gym up after practice, the upperclassman taking care of the nets, while the first years race around the gym with brooms. In the heat of practice, Yaku had completely forgotten the issue that had been plaguing him for over 24 hours. It’s violently brought back to him, when something hits him from behind and he’s thrown to the floor, dropping the net he had been struggling to carry.
“Yaku-san!”
“Yaku-san! I’m so sorry, are you alright?”
Yaku sits up, and turns around to see Inuoka hovering over him looking very upset. “I’m so sorry, Yaku-san. Lev and I were racing, and I wasn’t paying attention.”
Only then, does Yaku see Lev peering over Inuoka’s shoulder.
“That much is obvious,” Yaku grumbles in response, picking himself up, and untangling himself from the net. Inuoka’s still hovering, so Yaku takes pity on him. “It’s alright, Inuoka. I’m not hurt. It’s not a big deal.”
“Okay,” Inuoka says reluctantly, and walks away, dejected, leaving Lev behind.
Lev says, “Are you sure you’re alright, Yaku-san? We were going pretty fast.”
Yaku huffs, “I’m fine, Lev. Keep cleaning, so we can go.”
Lev nods, but asks slowly, “Could I have a minute to talk to you after practice?”
Yaku tries very hard to ignore everything happening to his insides, and just stares at Lev for a minute before, “Sure.”
Then, Yaku abruptly turns around and picks the net back up to take to the closet. He can feel Lev follow him with his eyes for a minute, before he, too, moves off to finish cleaning up.
In the club room Yaku changes at what he feels is a normal pace, forcing himself to act composed.
As he’s pulling his other shirt over his head, suddenly, Kuroo is there, in his face, smirking.
He prods, “Soooo~ I couldn’t help but notice that Lev asked to talk to you after practice.”
Yaku flushes, pulling his shirt down the rest of the way, and says indignantly, “So? He’s probably going to ask about passing tips or something.”
“Oh, yes. Passing tips.” Kuroo winks very obviously.
“Shut up,” Yaku snaps, shoving his practice clothes violently into his locker. It’s followed by a quiet, “How did you even hear that?”
Kuroo looks down at him like he’s stupid. “You had just been shoved to the floor. Everyone was looking at you. I just happened to look longer and see your interaction after the…incident.”
Yaku looks away, and grabs his bag.
“Sooo~?” Kuroo prods again, glancing meaningfully at Lev when Yaku looks back.
“So what? It’s not a good idea.”
Kuroo gives him a long stare, and crosses his arms. “It’s not a good idea,” he repeats flatly.
“No, there’s too much that could go wrong.”
“And you’re going to let a bunch of hypothetical wrongs get in the way of what you want.”
Yaku sighs, and glances at Lev, who’s having some kind of conversation with Inouka, both of them gesturing wildly.
“Look, Kuroo…”
“No, Yaku, listen,” Kuroo says sternly, “If there’s a particularly hard hitter we’re going up against, do you go into it thinking, ‘I’m never gonna get this pass. I may as well not even try. There’s so much that could go wrong.’?”
“Kuroo, I know the point you’re trying to make, but this is diff–”
Kuroo just talks over him, “No, you don’t, because you have confidence in yourself and your ability, and you want to win just as much as everybody else. You can’t go into this talk with Lev thinking about all the things that could go wrong. You have to have confidence in yourself." He shifts from stern to soothing. "You’ve also gotta give Lev some props. The kid is smarter than you give him credit for, and he probably knows what he’s getting into.”
Yaku glares back at Kuroo for a minute, before sighing and looking at Lev. Lev was picking up his bag, and he looks back at Yaku.
Yaku says, “I know, that's what I'm afraid of,” to Kuroo as he walks toward Lev.
That's where the real fear comes from, Yaku acknowledges to himself. If Lev knows what he's getting into, then there's not really any excuse not to go for it, and that is terrifying.
When he reaches Lev, they both head out of the gym and around the back corner to get some privacy.
They stand there awkwardly, not making eye contact, for a good two minutes before Yaku sighs and starts, “Lev, I kn–
“Yaku-san.”
Yaku stops and looks up at Lev. The younger boy is looking down at him intensely, as though Yaku’s a cat he’s intent on catching. Yaku has yet to decide if he wants to be caught.
“Yaku-san.” Lev says it confidently, a declaration. “I know you read my poem. I should probably feel embarrassed about it, but I can only feel glad because it gives me a reason to talk to you.” He scrunches his face and looks away for a minute. “Even though my poem wasn’t that romantic...I did write it hoping that it would be taken that way. I-I didn’t want to be too romantic since it was for class.” Lev shuffles his feet for a few seconds.
Yaku can feel heat and some kind of bug crawling all through his chest, and when Lev looks back up at him, it only increases in intensity.
Lev takes a deep breath, “Yaku-san, I think you’re very cute! Will you go out with me?”
Yaku’s world stops, very abruptly. He thought he had braced himself for whatever Lev threw at him, but apparently not.
This stupid idiot.
“What??” The hiss is practically ripped from Yaku.
Lev physically flinches back, eyes wide.
“What did you just call me?”
Lev blankly stares, then his eyes widen further. He frantically begins speaking again.
“I…I said that you’re cute, which is true! Only, I didn’t mean to say it! Not to your face! Although I very much like your face. That’s what’s cute about you! It’s not because you’re small–”
“Excuse me?” but Lev keeps on trucking.
“–which also isn’t a bad thing. I like that you’re small and...your face is cute, but I already said that...I like when you help me! I like that you call me out when I doing something wrong, and you don’t deal with my shit, and–and…
Lev appears to hesitate, looking at Yaku warily, then moves to place his hands on Yaku’s shoulders, looks directly into his eyes and says, “I just think you’re amazing, Yaku-san.”
Yaku doesn’t stand a chance against Lev’s wide, honest eyes, and just like that, every excuse he had melts away as the eyes above him beg him to give this a chance. They say, I know it'll be rough, but lets at least try. Yaku feels his anger to dissolve with the excuses, leaving only a slight irritation behind. He uses that to fuel the frown on his face. No need to let Lev know he could get to him so easily.
“Lev.”
“Yes, Yaku-san.”
“I appreciate the sentiment, but you really need to stop calling me small,” Yaku lays down the law, and he notices that Lev has deflated a bit, looking at the ground. “Or cute, don’t ever call me that. I don’t care if you think it’s true.”
“I’m sorry, Yaku-san,” he says, drawing his hands away.
Yaku doesn’t let him, and pulls the hands back to him, causing Lev to freeze. Yaku regards him in silence for a bit before saying, “I suppose you can make it up to me. Buy me dinner tomorrow night and I’ll forgive you.”
Lev looks up, eyes betraying the hope he feels . “Really?”
“Yeah, I suppose I can put up with you for a couple more hours of the day if it means I get food,” Yaku relents. By now, Lev is beaming and Yaku basks in his happiness while letting the wisps of a smile grace his own lips.
“Yaku-san, I will definitely make it up to you!” Lev promises.
“I’m counting on it,” Yaku says as he turns away.
After he gets a few steps away, Yaku throws his parting words over his shoulder, “You never know. If you’re good tomorrow, maybe you’ll even get a kiss.”
Yaku is almost positive he hears an actual squeak come from Lev as he continues to walk away.
Once Yaku-san is out of sight, Lev groans, remembering the meat buns he bought on his way home yesterday that depleted his remaining allowance. He tries to figure out how he could possibly get his mother to let him borrow the money to take Yaku-san out the following night.