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“Do they still remember me? Do I ever cross your mind?”
Kenta’s thoughts were racing, they were split in two. One was wondering if Pete or X-Hunter (though he highly doubted the latter) was curious about his radio silence. But on the other hand, he wondered about Kim, he couldn’t get himself to admit but he wondered if he still thought about him.
He genuinely cared more about Kim’s thoughts than anyone else because, even beyond Pete, he was the only one who gave Kenta the time of day. At first because he was an unwanted burden placed on Kim, who was ready to return back to Korea after the whole Tony fiasco and racing for X-Hunter. Instead, the two had developed a close companionship over his stay at Kim's apartment.
Ever since he was more securely strapped away by Winner's men, he had a lot more time to think about the night he was captured, but more so the moments he had shared with Kim. Personally he had tried not to involve Kim in his investigations of Tony but the shorter man was nothing but persistent. Kim had managed to insert himself into everything he was doing with the notion of following Pete's request to keep Kenta safe when he was more than capable of protecting himself. But he had a thought over time that potentially Kim wasn't really acting on Pete's orders but rather his own feelings when it all came to a head the night of his own capture.
When Kim confronted him about wanting to run back to Pete and how he was there. Kim had questioned what their relationship was, which in the moment had annoyed Kenta because he knew there was something unpack but he wasn't willing to think of it then. But now he had enough time to consider those simple moments with Kim. The lunches he made, the companionship he provided after seeing Pete with a lover and how Kim supported him when talking to Pete. It now dawned on Kenta that these actions, which he saw as nothing but practical in the moment, were really a reflection of Kim's ways of showing Kenta that someone was looking out for him. This moment looped within Kenta's mind as he continued to analyse Kim and his own actions.
For Kim to decide to wrestle Kenta and then kiss him, and for Kenta to have no push back at all, seemingly being surprised before being somewhat taken aback by how fleeting the moment was. He didn't know what Kim's goal was in doing that, but secretly he did not want to admit his suspicions, that just maybe there was someone out there (Kim) who actually liked him in a way no one else had shown Kenta before. This has made him agree to let Kim come with him to the warehouse with the explicit thought of ensuring the Korean would make it out of there, even if it meant Kenta being left behind. He had recognised that Kim had been caught in the crossfire of Tony's plans, starting as a racer before being discarded and imprisoned by said man once he dug deeper. The Japanese man was more than willing to ensure Kim would never be harmed by Tony again.
He unknowingly became more protective of Kim upon stepping foot in the warehouse, knowing he didn't just have the responsibility of collecting the intel to use against Tony but also to ensure Kim's safety. The moment he took Kim towards his chest to stop them both being exposed to Tony's workers, he did it in a moment of fear but soon having the smaller man's back against his chest ignited something warm inside him as his arm draped across the said man's chest keeping him as close to him as possible. As soon as that moment ended, he wished it could last longer, but it wasn't in his own best interest at heart. Rather, it was in the interest of Pete to get the information required to finally take down Tony and Kim to get him out as swiftly as possible - never his own.
Kenta had to be honest, everything had been going swimmingly well, but of course it went south just before they could escape. At that moment Kenta knew what had to be done - he had to sacrifice himself. Not only to ensure Kim's safety, away from falling into Tony's grasp once more, also as his phone contained the information pivotal to exposing Tony's true motive. Based on Willy's files, Tony was giving powers to those who had none. He noted this most likely was to build some sort of army, because why would a man like Tony do it out of charity? If there was one thing Kenta knew, Tony was anything but altruistic.
He got worried that Kim was going to do something reckless when he tried to stop him from peeking behind the concrete pillar they were hiding behind. Kenta had to think quickly to ensure the safety of the other. So he recognised the best way to get Kim out there was to make the said man agree with him.
Pushing Kim against the concrete, he had both hands on his shoulders to keep him in place and made direct eye contact. Kenta said in his most pleading yet stern voice,
“Trust me.”
Honestly, could he even trust himself? No, but Kim didn't need to know that.
All he wanted was for Kim not to argue with him, and even though the smaller looked like he wanted to, he didn't. Once Kim looked resigned to what he had planned to do, Kenta took a hand off him but they were still looking at one another. Even though no words were spoken in those few seconds, he wanted to believe their eyes spoke; did they necessarily understand? Who knows, but he wanted Kim to know he was thankful for the other's willingness to give him a chance when no one else would and that his following actions were to ensure his safety as a sign of gratitude.
Kenta took off initially, only seeing a few guards so he took his knife out only to see many more appear with guns. If Kenta was honest with himself, he knew he stood no chance because when did anyone with a knife win at a gun fight? As he surrendered, he avoided looking towards the direction of Kim, only hoping the other had used that time to make a run for it and give the potent information to the team. Honestly, he didn't know if he was going to make it out of Tony's warehouse alive. Even when the opportunity presented itself, he felt a sense of duty to continue digging and relaying information to the team, as he was only ever useful to the others that way. He knew Pete looked at him as a double-edged sword, being useful but dangerous, so he had to prove he was still useful. A small part of him longed to just leave just to see Kim, but his own insecurities got the better of him. Why would Kim want to see him after putting the other in such a dangerous situation? If anything, Kim should be angry but Kenta had the feeling despite his own thoughts, the other most likely didn't think that way but his own feelings should be ignored since they never mattered in the first place.
He is drawn out of his thoughts in his more elaborate set-up after being captured for the second time where no one is guarded near him and in a place out in the open to easily keep track of him. Though he was quite far from where people were walking he could still see a familiar brown jacket and an unexpected face in the god forsaken warehouse - Alan. He couldn’t fathom why Alan of all people was here. Did he decide to betray the people he called family and team? That seemed unlikely…but you never know because Kenta knew first-hand Tony offered the most promising trades though in reality it always played into Tony's hand.
Kenta thought the man had looked at him for a few seconds, but he could never be sure what he thought of him? Did he look pathetic strung up like he was on display, any moment someone could shoot him and he wouldn't see it coming? Honestly all this time isolated had made him long for Kim. The man who made his first kiss seem meaningless, the man who gave him a new purpose in life, the man who taught him to open himself up again. Kenta had only realised this too late, strung up and not knowing if he would ever see Kim again.
As he stood in the only well-lit place of this section that was otherwise dimly lit, he wondered once again about Kim, the man who he admittedly felt something for. Despite his own rationality deeming it to be good if Kim has forgotten him so the Korean can finally move away from this country which had done him nothing but harm and return back home. His instinct wishes for Kim to reciprocate his own blooming feelings. To only want Kenta for himself, not for what he could be but as his broken and imperfect self that his life with Tony had moulded him into. And maybe to help him become a better person - because Kim seemed to be the only person who could see the hope for Kenta to be someone beyond who he was now.
Kenta is brought back to his reality when he hears footsteps coming towards him, looking up they are led by Winner.
“Well, well, Tony has finally found something that could be useful for you as a test subject you Japanese brat,” the former driver sneers at him.
At this moment, he knew there was a minuscule possibility he would survive, recalling what he and Kim had found before his capture. So resigned to his fate, he wondered one last time before being taken away to presumably Tony something he wished to be true because he found it in himself to admit his own truth.
“Do I ever cross your mind? Because you still cross mine.”