Chapter Text
Youngbloods, Emancipated Minors, and “Turtledove”
There are many Halfblood children, teenagers, and young adults (mostly male) who live in Arcadian Alley (a working-class Alley located near Knockturn Alley). These Halfbloods tend to be young men/boys without parents, generally the result of a male Pureblood Death Eater committing a war crime against a female Muggle/Muggle born (the kind of war crime that causes a baby to be born 9 months later). At least this is the case for many who know about their fathers; many simply don't know.
Many underage Halfbloods in Arcadian Alley are brilliant with Magic- usually repairs, construction, and Runes, the result of having to learn and practice a trade in order to support themselves.
Young Wizards in Arcadian often pass the Ministry Skills Exam at an early age, leading them to be considered legal adults (Emancipated Minors) in the eyes of the Ministry, despite being under seventeen. This enables them to legally live on their own, hire themselves out for jobs, and sign contracts. Only males have the option of being able to take the Ministry Skills Exam and becoming Emancipated Minors. This is steeped in traditional views that males have to be strong enough to care for themselves and that it is a Wizard’s duty to care for and protect a Witch as needed.
When an boy passes the Magical Skills Exam to become an Emancipated Minor, he is given a necklace (similar to a dog tag worn by a Marine) with his name and the words "Emancipated Minor.” The necklace is Charmed so only the owner could remove it and could be used to show proof that the boy could make legal decisions for himself instead of needing an adult. Emancipated Minors wear the necklace partly out of pride and partly out of convenience (having ready proof that they can live as adults). It was common for the Emancipated Minor to Charm the necklace so that nobody except the owner can take the necklace off. The original reason behind the dog tag necklace was so that the Witch or Wizard could be easily identified in the event of their death (Emancipated Minors were more likely to do dangerous things that could lead to their deaths and usually did not have close family members who could be called upon to identify the body).
Male Halfbloods (or those of unknown blood) who were clever (and parentless) enough to become Emancipated Minors are known as Youngbloods. Youngbloods have a reputation for being brilliant (particularly in the building, construction, and repairs trades), having boundless energy, but being impulsive and chaotic, lacking structure, needing constant stimulation. They all tend to live in Arcadian Alley, a working class neighborhood with more than its share of chaos. Youngbloods also have a reputation for bonding with other Youngbloods, being very demonstrative in their affection for one another, and declaring each other cousins. It’s not uncommon to see two Youngbloods who are close friends (and adoptive “cousins”) holding hands with each other. Youngbloods in Arcadian Alley also greet each other and other Wizards with a kiss to both cheeks. This is in line with the way traditional Purebloods greet each other and consider good manners. Outsiders speculate that the Youngbloods’ cheek-kissing was influenced by the traditional Purebloods in nearby Knockturn Alley. The Youngbloods vehemently deny this.
Youngbloods "adopt" other Youngbloods as cousins and are very affectionate and fiercely loyal to one another. When they are particularly close to each other, they might refer to each other with the pet names "My Dove," "Turtledove," or "My Tutledove" (reference to the Twelve Days of Christmas song that mentions "Two turtledoves.") “Turtledove” is a term of affection and equality- when one Youngblood calls another “My Turtledove,” they are basically saying they are two halves of one whole or two peas in a pod. It is a common sight to see two male Youngbloods who feel especially close to each other walking down the street hand-in-hand, calling each other "Turtledove" (but in a totally manly way).
“My Lamb”
Traditional Purebloods are especially fascinated by Youngbloods, being impressed with their power and wanting to bring them "back into the fold," and to "civilize them." A traditional Pureblood Wizard might offer his arm to a Youngblood under his protection, particularly in crowded places with unknown sorts whom the Youngblood (in the Pureblood's eyes) may need protecting from (after all, if they are to be brought back into the fold, they must be protected from sordid influences, such as Muggle lovers). The formality would contrast with the casual way that Youngbloods might walk around hand-in-hand, their fingers intertwined.
Also, Purebloods might use the term "My Lamb" in a way that is both affectionate and condescending to communicate their affection for, care of, and ownership over a promising Youngblood. Sometimes, this results in the Youngblood running away like a startled fawn or Hexing the Pureblood (not that aristocratic Pureblood society blames the Youngblood for this- they're rebellious, half feral after all, and one must move carefully; the Pureblood who got Hexed is thus seen by his fellows as not being gentle enough for a Youngblood's delicate spirit). Other times, the Youngblood might lean into this affection, matching the Purebloods' manipulation with manipulation of their own. If they choose to go this route, all they have to do is smile affectionately up at the Pureblood, widen their eyes, and clutch the Pureblood's arm.
Combined with Arcadian Alley manners (greeting each other by kissing both cheeks) and chaotic power, the Pureblood is made to feel that they've captured a ferocious tiger and turned them into a Lamb (hence the term "My Lamb"). I want to stress that this has absolutely nothing to do with romance; it’s completely platonic- it’s all about a mixture of manipulation and control, combined with affection.
“Handsome Youngblood Cousin” Song
I can share a song parody I wrote that shows some of the vibes of Arcadian Alley, particularly Youngblood culture, the adopted "cousins," and their relationship with Purebloods and Wizarding society: the following song parody is to the tune of "Simple Russian Girl." It was written about a year or two before our story starts by Youngbloods in Arcadian Alley in response to Dumbledore making a statement that it is unwise to allow minors to become Emancipated, out of fear that this would make them vulnerable to Dark forces who do not have their best interests at heart. This did not go over well in Arcadian Alley, which consists mostly of boys and young men who are currently Emancipated Minors, had been Emancipated Minors prior to turning 17, or are trying to become Emancipated Minors. The tongue-in-cheek parody became an Arcadian Alley Youngblood anthem:
“I'm in a rush,
I should quickly pack my
bags with cash, that flush,
And it's certain to get
back to my Alley,
Didn't know that it's
forbidden, I'm sorry…” (First verse portrays Youngbloods performing powerful Magic to draw Runes on old, crumbling Pureblood Manors, build broomsticks, and repair enchanted objects, all of which are skills the Youngbloods of Arcadian Alley are known for, shaking down wealthy-looking British Wizards for large bags of galleons and flying away, managing to zoom past Ministry accountants in pinstriped suits intent on collecting taxes. In some scenes, the wealthy Purebloods help them get away from the accountant Wizard, knowing that the cost of the higher taxes would be passed on to the Purebloods themselves).
“I’m your handsome Youngblood cousin,
I've got coffee in my blood,
So I dance with Darkness,
And my soul is torn apart.
I dance with Darkness,
And my soul is torn apart.” (Second scene shows the Youngbloods enjoying life in Arcadian Alley- flying, tinkering, enacting Magical experiments just shy of strictly legal. The gold of their Emancipated Minor necklaces shines in the light of the setting sun. By the time they sing the line “I dance with Darkness, and my soul is torn apart” for the second time, night has fallen, and Arcadian Alley is bathed in Darkness. This doesn’t make the Youngbloods any less active).
“Now you see—
Cousin love can overrule bureaucracy,
Dumbledore can rant,
But we drive him mad
As the skies we enchant.”
“I’m your handsome Youngblood cousin,
I've got coffee in my blood,
So I dance with Darkness,
And my soul is torn apart
So, I dance with Darkness,
And my soul is torn apart”
“Let me go,
I won't ever try to do this anymore,
If you let - I'll kiss you
in your cheeks two times,
This is a tradition,
don't you be surprised!”
(The next scene shows a Youngblood using their infectious charm to get out of trouble with an Auror/Ministry Wizard who has questions about their high-risk Magic. The Youngblood’s infectious friendliness and charm causes the Ministry Wizard to go from frowning sternly to smiling indulgently. He allows the Youngblood to stand on tiptoe to kiss him once on both cheeks before the Youngblood politely escorts the Ministry Wizard out of Arcadian Alley, one hand arm-in-arm with the Ministry Wizard, in a friendly way of course, and the other hand playing with their Emancipated Minor necklace. To clarify, Youngblood custom in Arcadian Alley custom involves greeting each other with a kiss to both cheeks, which is IN NO WAY COPYING THE PUREBLOODS WHO LIVE IN NEARBY KNOCKTURN ALLEY, OKAY, THIS IS OUR THING).
“I’m your handsome Youngblood cousin,
I've got coffee in my blood,
I dance with Darkness,
And my soul is torn apart
I dance with Darkness,
And my soul is torn apart”
(Bridge consists of various Youngbloods experimenting with different spells, some of which they invented themselves, and several of which result in unintentional small (and multicolor) fires. The song lyrics are comprised of the various incantations. The light of the various fires breaks through the darkness of the Alley, before a group of laughing Youngbloods puts out the flames before trying those spells again.)
“I’m your handsome Youngblood cousin,
I've got coffee in my blood,
So I dance with Darkness,
And my soul is torn apart
I dance with Darkness,
And my soul is torn apart!”
Benji and Olly
I'm going to bend reality and pretend that the book "Benji Mouse Would Like a House" (written in 2022) was actually written in 1985 and that Harry Potter’s Reception teacher read it to the class earlier that day. Harry wished for a house of his own, rather than living in a cupboard at the Dursleys. He started to think that maybe if he changed his name to Benji, he would be able to find a house of his own.
Benji sits under a play structure, thinking. He runs his fingers through his dark, messy hair and gently rubs the lightning-shaped scar on his forehead. He had already decided to change his name to Benji, but maybe he needed to do something about his perpetually messy hair (so different from the Dursleys’ blond hair) and the ugly scar on his forehead (which the Dursleys constantly criticized) before he could get a house like Benji Mouse. Suddenly, a bright light flashed in front of Benji’s eyes, and Benji’s head started to ache, as if he had been up all night. He put his head in his hands to block out the light. As he did so, he noticed that he could no longer feel the scar that had been on his forehead, and his messy and coarse fringe of hair now felt smoother, neater.
“Hey, stupid!” Dudley’s voice called out. Benji/Harry raised his head to see his cousin peering at him. “What’d you do with your hair? It’s the same color as pee!” Dudley laughed at his own joke before suddenly being blasted backwards by some invisible force. Dudley struggled to push his chubby body off the ground. “I’m telling!” he cried.
Dudley “telling,” whether to his mother and father or to a teacher (who later reported this to Aunt Petunia) never boded well for Harry). Harry/Benji runs away in fear, making it out of the school playground. When he sees a police car driving down the street, his heart clenches. With a loud pop, the suburban street and the police car disappears, and he finds himself in a play park he had never seen before. There are tarps and tents set up throughout the play park, amidst slides and swings and climbing structures shaped like dragons and other strange creatures Benji couldn’t recognize. Exhausted, he crawls under a tarp to rest.
That evening, an older boy crawls under the tarp and gently wakes Benji. “Hi, I’m Olly,” he said. “You’re in my spot.”
“Sorry!” Benji squeaked fearfully, looking nervously up at Olly.
“That’s okay. You can stay if you want. You look like you could use some food.” Benji’s stomach growled, confirming this. “Who are you?” Olly continued.
“I’m Benji,” said Benji. He certainly wasn’t going to go back to being called Harry. If those police officers were after him, there must be some sort of paper saying Harry Potter was under arrest. And the Dursleys never let him eat if he’s in trouble. Out of habit, Benji flattens his sweaty bangs over the space on his forehead where his scar used to be.
“Nice to meet you, Benji. Come on, I’ll show you where we can get food.”
Benji smiled excitedly. Were they going to a restaurant? The Dursleys had taken Dudley out to eat loads of times but had never taken him.
Olly says he knows where Benji can get free food- both a free dinner and groceries. They just have to talk to someone at the food bank first, so she can put the official stuff in the paperwork. The official stuff doesn’t really matter that much, Olly explains on the short walk to the food bank. It’s just stuff the Ministry wants to know. Olly shares that his “official” name is “Apollo X,” because his real first name is “Apollo” (though everyone calls him “Olly”), and the X is because he doesn’t know his real last name (having never met his parents), but the X sounds cool. Benji would decide that his last name is “Evans.”
“If you have any questions, you can ask me,” said Olly. “I lived in Arcadian Alley all my life, and I know everything about it.”
Benji looked at Olly shyly. The Dursleys had always forbidden him from asking questions. But Olly seemed nice. “What’s a food bank?” Benji asked. “Is that like a really big restaurant? Is that why they can give us both dinner and groceries?”
Olly smiled ruefully. “A food bank gives away free food if you don’t make a lot of money. It’s… pretty big. I think they cast Expansion Charms on the insides of the food crates so they can store more food without taking up a bunch of space.”
“So they use Magic?” Benji asked in wonder as they reached a building called “Arcadian Alley Food Bank.”
“Of course they do, what else would they use?” asked Olly, opening the door for Benji.
Benji decided that for his food bank paperwork, he would go by "Benji Evans." Officially. He remembered Aunt Petunia mentioning that it was his mothers' last name before she married.... That man. It didn't occur to Benji until years later that, since his mother and Aunt Petunia were sisters, "Evans" would have been Aunt Petunia's maiden name as well. Aunt Petunia would have liked Benji's mum (her sister) better if she at least kept her maiden name ("Evans") instead of taking... That Man's. When the person signing them up for free groceries asks Benji when his birthday is, Benji hesitates, not knowing. He does know he’s five years old, but he doesn’t know the exact date of his birthday- the Dursleys had never celebrated it. Then he spontaneously decides that *TODAY* (November 1) is his birthday. The lady at the food bank smiles kindly at him and Olly wishes him a happy birthday. The two sit down for their free dinner (Shephard’s Pie with jello for dessert) while the lady at the food bank processes Benji’s paperwork. After eating, Olly takes Benji to the lady’s desk to receive their groceries. Olly and Benji each receive a free box with grocery staples- bread, milk, eggs, vegetables, crackers, peanut butter, cereals, a bag of rice, pasta, and a can of tomato paste. Benji’s comes with a small, boxed birthday cake as well.
Olly lets Benji stay with him under his tarp in the Arcadian Alley Play Park. Benji beamed. He wasn't getting a house, not exactly (the house would come years later, when the two built their cottage together). But he was getting a home.
Benji started working just like Olly did, using Wandless Magic to help out at construction sites, do simple Cleaning Magic. Benji already had the Magic, which would burst out when he became emotional, but Olly taught him to control it. Benji kept his ugly scar secret from Olly, not wanting Olly to make fun of it the way the Dursleys always did. His scar would reappear every day, but Benji managed to Vanish it with a wave of his hand, the same way he would Vanish old paint before repainting the wall of a home on one of the days he was hired to work. Olly even taught him how to sketch basic Runes to aid in temperature regulation, security, and cleanliness, which helped him earn a little more money on the construction sites. Olly, being older and more experienced, was more likely to be hired than Benji. Olly explains that Benji does very good work, but Olly had been doing it for longer. Despite working every day, Olly didn’t earn much money. Olly explained that this was because he’s not an Emancipated Minor yet. “Technically, I’m not supposed to be allowed to work until I’m Emancipated,” Olly explained. “But lots of people are willing to hire us, cuz we don’t charge as much. But I’ll be an Emancipated Minor in a year or two. I just gotta keep practicing my Magic and pay for the Magical Skills Exam at the Ministry. That’s when the Ministry tests you to make sure your Magic is powerful enough. If you pass, they give you a necklace that says “Emancipated Minor,” and then places can legally hire you instead of having you work off the books. And once you’re working on the books, they have to pay you more, or the Ministry can shut them down. When I get Emancipated, I’ll be able to get my Runes Tech Certification for real and make loads more money than I do now.”
When Benji couldn't find work for the day, or if he could only find a little work, resulting in him finishing long before Olly (who usually worked until sundown), he set up enchantments on the tarp, to make it bigger on the inside than the outside and to make their living area more comfortable. He took pride in improving their little home using the Magic Olly taught him on the job but was often too tired to use on the tarp by the time he finished work.
Benji started scavenging in the dump for building supplies and picked up broomsticks that had been totaled. From here, he discovered a talent for broomstick repair. Benji was able to pick up under-the-table gigs repairing and modifying broomsticks, allowing him to bring in a bit more money (though his young age and the fact that he was not yet an Emancipated Minor made it hard to find well-paying work). He felt proud of being able to contribute to their little household, though the work was infrequent. Benji gets very good at it through practice repairing and modifying broomsticks scavenged from the dump. It took a lot of experimentation, but he could finally fully repair and restore one so that it went from nonfunctional and found in the dump to like-new.
The broom would handle turns perfectly- Benji would have seen to that. He would have considered the small designs of dragons carved into the broomstick to be a charming quirk. Olly would have rolled his eyes fondly at the purely cosmetic addition. And Benji would have modified the broom for two speed levels- one level a more moderate pace, good for first-time flyers, the other level a faster pace good for experienced flyers. The speed level would be controlled by flipping a small switch near the top of the broom handle. Olly taught him how to carve the Runes to make this work. And Benji would have charged 2 galleons, 5 Knuts for the broom- significantly more than he charged for his previous projects, which was fair since he just rebuilt an entire broom, and very low-priced for what amounted to a custom-made broom (with the frame made from a completely gutted Shooting Star Benji had found in the dump.
Benji was able to sell it secondhand to a buyer who agreed to meet him in Diagon Alley. Olly insisted upon coming along to ensure Benji got paid fairly and to fight the buyer if he tried to run off without paying. The buyer, Arthur, turned out to be a tall, thin, redheaded man with a receding hairline and spectacles who was buying a secondhand broomstick for one of his sons. New broomsticks were expensive. He seemed surprised to see the broomstick being sold by someone so young. But the test ride went smoothly, and he paid not just the agreed-upon price, but also slipped Benji an extra sickle with a kind smile on his face.
Benji waited until the man Apparated away before squealing excitedly. "Olly! I sold my first broomstick!" he cried, hugging Olly and attracting the attention of a few passers-by. The people who bothered to glance over saw Benji's enthusiasm, his tininess (short for five-going-on-six), and his messy golden waves under his Appleby Arrows cap, and smiled indulgently, while giving Olly, who was tall for seven-going-on-eight and wore a threatening glare on his face (necessary to keep Benji safe when selling to unknown parties), suspicious looks.
Olly passes his Magical Skills Exam (a fully practical test to determine if one is Magically competent enough to become an Emancipated Minor) when he is nine and Benji is seven. As a result, Olly is able to work legally as part of a construction crew and bring in more money. Shortly after this, Olly is able to pass the test to become a Certified Runes Tech, resulting in him being able to earn more money. It takes a year, but he is able to save up enough to purchase a plot of land in Arcadian Alley for himself and Benji, as well as the materials for them to build their cottage together. By this point, eight-year-old Benji had been able to pass the Magical Skills Exam to become an Emancipated Minor as well. Benji had come into his own and had been gaining a reputation as a talented handyman and broomstick mechanic. The two spent every moment they weren’t working building their cottage.
The cottage begins to take shape. Every room has an animated dragon mural painted on the wall. The kitchen sink sprays multicolored bubbles when it senses the person washing the dishes is feeling bored. Benji manages to accidentally build an enchanted stove, which sings cousin love ballads (platonic love songs dedicated to the love between two Arcadian Alley Youngbloods who have adopted each other as cousins/their turtledove, as he and Olly had), whenever it felt it had gone too long without being used to prepare food.
Ember
Ember, the Floo-powered social media platform, was created by an Arcadian Alley Youngblood in 1983, originally as a way for Youngbloods to communicate with each other about jobs (generally construction and repair gigs, usually outside of Arcadian Alley with people- generally Purebloods- who can afford to pay a decent amount of money), as well as requesting assistance with things like food, shelter, clothing, and blankets when the person's needs exceeded their income. It still has these things, but it has grown into an entertainment/information platform, where people posted videos showing how to do certain magical repairing and building projects, weighing in with their opinions on certain controversies (anything from new laws the Ministry is considering to whether or not Crumple-Horned Snorcacks exist), organizing protests when people are particularly fired up about a Ministry bill/Dumbledore speech, and showcasing their talents at singing, dancing, writing/telling jokes (even performing whole comedy skits), drawing Runes, making potions, and generally causing chaos. It never really caught on outside of Arcadian Alley, as other British Wizards tended to view Ember as immature or childish. But the denizens of Arcadian Alley loved it, using it for both practical and entertainment purposes.
Benji has performed his share of mid-air broom repairs on Ember, using it to drum up business for his burgeoning broomstick repair and broom-crafting business.
Ember is also used to let Arcadian Alley denizens know about the latest Anti-Dumbledore protest, something that the Pureblood Aristocrats living in/shopping in neighboring Knockturn Alley pretend not to care about but totally get into.
Arcadian Alley’s Relationship with Knockturn Alley
The Purebloods are mostly pretty clueless about the meaning of "Handsome Youngblood Cousin." They just view it as a charming song the Youngbloods are always playing. The residents of Arcadian Alley (mostly Youngbloods) have an interesting relationship/rivalry with Knockturn Alley (just north of Arcadian Alley).
Knockturn Alley is where many wealthy Purebloods live (or at least do their shopping). Some of the refined and charming manners displayed in Arcadian Alley are influenced by the Pureblood manners in nearby Knockturn Alley (not that any Youngblood would ever admit this). Also, as implied in the song, Purebloods rely on the Youngbloods for their skill with building, repairs, home construction, broom-building, etc- they’re willing to pay good money for it (and to help the Youngblood escape paying taxes on the income, leading to a higher standard of living in Arcadian Alley, which is mostly populated by Youngbloods).
Arcadian Alley used to be smaller, but about two years before this story takes place, they waged a war (well... inter-alley skirmish) with Knockturn Alley over a reasonably large plot of land that they weren't using anyway. The Youngbloods' attack is the most hilariously chaotic (but effective) thing possible- random explosions, multicolored fire spells, blasting the "Handsome Youngblood Cousin" song as a war anthem, surprisingly organized attacks via broomstick (followed by an impromptu Quidditch match among the Youngbloods), people Enchanting objects such as cauldrons and bathtubs and riding them into battle. They actually win the plot of land, name it "Emancipation Way," and commission T-shirts that say "Emancipation War Champs" to commemorate the historical war/inter-alley skirmish. The buildings constructed in Emancipation Way included a library, a theater, restaurants, several stores, etc. It actually boosted Arcadian Alley's local economy significantly (leading to Arcadian Alley going from almost the entire population relying on the local food bank for groceries to less than half in the first year since various construction projects were completed).
Also, you know that part in Hamilton, during the song "The Reynold's Pamphlet" where King George III joins in the song and dance, mocking Hamilton (even when it makes no sense whatsoever)? Well, King George III in that scene is basically the Knockturn Alley Purebloods whenever the Arcadian Alley Youngbloods are protesting something Dumbledore did or said. When the protest starts in Arcadian Alley, the Purebloods will descend from Knockturn Alley (which is located north of Arcadian Alley), perfect posture, perfectly dressed, entirely unnecessary (but fancy) walking sticks in hand and proceed to come along to the protest (while still pretending to be too fancy and aristocratic to care about it, while casting spells to straighten the wrinkled Anti-Dumbledore banners- one must have STANDARDS, after all) for the sole purpose of mocking Dumbledore (just like King George III mocked Hamilton in the Reynold's Pamphlet song) in the most stylishly aristocratic way possible
The Goat
Before we proceed any further, you need to know about The Goat. Not UNDERSTAND The Goat, as no human being could possibly hope to understand the complexity that is The Goat. But you must be informed about The Goat.
The Goat was originally Conjured by at least one Knockturn Alley Pureblood (who shall remain nameless for the time being) a few years ago in order to mock Dumbledore (and the stories about Dumbledore's brother performing inappropriate charms on a goat). The plan was to have the Conjured goat walk through Diagon Alley wearing a banner saying “He has his brother’s taste in pets” in order to protest some Ministry bill that Dumbledore supported at the time (which nobody can currently remember. Said Ministry bill wasn’t even a big enough deal to catch the attention of Arcadian Alley, which was normally all too ready to protest something Dumbledore said or did. So it was probably something really boring. But The Goat was anything but boring). The Goat, being a strong-willed, intelligent creature (according to the Youngbloods in Arcadian Alley) or a Conjured farm animal who got spooked by the crowds in Diagon Alley and got himself lost (according to almost everyone outside of Arcadian Alley), manages to wander into Arcadian Alley a few hours later.
The residents of Arcadian Alley adopt it and turn it into a bit of a mascot. There's many petty remarks from the Arcadian Alley Youngbloods about Purebloods not taking care of what's theirs (there's a history of male Purebloods committing crimes against female Muggles/Muggle-borns and a Halfblood baby being born 9 months later) and affronted outrage from the Knockturn Alley Purebloods, who protest that they're not THAT SORT- they believe in Family Values! They even offer to take the goat back so it could have a PROPER upbringing. The Arcadian Alley residents protest this. There's even a war (well, inter-alley skirmish) about this. But The Goat is on the Youngbloods’ side and decides the outcome of the skirmish by headbutting the interfering
Pureblood Aristocrats back into Knockturn Alley, causing them to pretend they had no interest in The Bloody Goat in the first place.
The Arcadian Alley Youngbloods end up making the goat Mayor of Arcadian Alley (even though Arcadian Alley has never had a Mayor before. Arcadian Alley residents reacted to the goat's Mayorhood by continuing to do whatever they wanted and claiming the goat approved. The Ministry initially fought The Goat’s right to Mayorhood, but the Youngbloods were able to stage a counter-protest by driving up prices to repair Ministry buildings, as most Magical Construction work is done by Youngbloods. So the Ministry simply pretended nothing happened).
The Goat does not have an official name due to Arcadian Alley residents not being able to agree on a name (leading to several weeks worth of duels on the topic). Eventually, the many duels and battles ended in a group hug and an agreement to publicly refer to the goat as "The Goat" and no other names. Some people still called the goat by their preferred names as kind of a private joke (for example, Benji calls the goat "Apollo" after Olly's full name, and Olly in return calls the goat "Benjamin"). But officially, the goat is just called "The Goat" (or “Mayor The Goat” on more formal occasions). Arcadian Alley legend has it that the reason The Goat does whatever it wants (and tends to run the place, making it a great Mayor, despite- or perhaps because of- the fact that everyone continued to do whatever they wanted even when The Goat was Mayor) is because The Goat never gets called one name consistently, so could not be trained (even if the Youngbloods were interested in training him).
Also Benji was the first one to find the goat in Arcadian Alley when he was five. It was the spring of 1986, and Benji had Dragonpox. He and Olly were living under a tarp in the Arcadian Alley Play Park (a few swings, a slide, and a sandbox) at the time. Many children also had their own tarps/tents set up in the park and were living there. Neither Benji nor Olly were Emancipated Minors yet. They lived off food from the food bank and income from whatever odd jobs they could find. Benji had Dragonpox, so he couldn't work. Olly, at nearly eight years old, tucked a patchwork quilt (a donation they received last winter) around Benji's small body, kissed his honorary cousin on both cheeks, said he would be back early, and promised to make enough money to purchase some salve to help the rash and pustules from the Dragonpox feel less itchy and painful.
"Get some rest, Turtledove," he said. Then, Olly puts his palms together and opens them like he's opening an imaginary book. A ball of green flame appeared- Ember. Olly concentrated on his password, logging into his account and handing the Ember flame to Benji so Benji could entertain himself with Ember videos.
Benji falls into an exhausted sleep, racked with guilt about not working like Olly is. He knew they didn't have much money- he should be helping, not laying under the tarp. But his limbs felt too heavy to move. He fell asleep to a video of a Youngblood performing tricks on a broomstick.
Benji woke up hours later. It looked to be mid-afternoon. The play park was silent- all the other kids who lived in tents or under tarps here were likely off working. Benji still felt feverish, but less tired. Determinedly, he grabbed his toolbox. Surely it wasn't too late in the day to find some sort of work. He picked up Olly's Ember flame. Olly used Ember to find work for them sometimes- maybe there's still some jobs posted.
It was when he left the tarp and entered the play park that he saw it- a goat. Benji edged closer. The goat put its snout on the top of Benji's cap and sniffed curiously. He seemed to find this acceptable and licked Benji's face (which wasn't the most comfortable feeling for Benji, given the Dragonpox, but the goat was clearly trying to be friendly).
Benji had seen Olly make live Ember videos before sometimes. He copied what Olly did and held up the green flame to the goat (who responded by sniffing at the flame). "Look at the goat!" said Benji excitedly, his voice hoarse with illness but enthusiastic.
At that moment, Olly was returning to their makeshift tent after working, a bottle of Dragonpox salve (purchased from the Apothecary) and a basket of food (picked up from the Arcadian Alley Food Bank) in his arms.
"Benji! You should be resting!" said Olly, taking Benji by the hand, causing Benji to drop the Ember flame. It landed harmlessly on the ground, still filming. The goat knocked Olly's hat off, then sniffed him, and decided that he liked Olly after all and licked his face (however, The Goat continued to knock Olly's hat off, as well as everyone except Benji's hats off, in the years to come).
The Livestream caught the attention of the other Arcadian Alley residents, which led them to investigate the goat as soon as they came back from their various jobs/gigs, and led to the whole town adopting The Goat (and later electing it Mayor).
The Goat has a habit of knocking people's hats off (except Benji's. Nobody could quite figure out how Benji trained the goat to avoid knocking his hats off). Benji actually has a collection of bandannas and hats (he wears one every day to cover his lightning-shaped scar in case the Glamour Charm, which must be refreshed every morning, fails). Benji at this point doesn't even know the significance of the scar or who Harry Potter is. He simply assumes that the scar must have been from Uncle Vernon hurting him but him being too young to remember (there were many such incidents, some of which he could remember and some of which he couldn't).
Cousin Day
Arcadian Alley celebrates Cousin Day on the last Sunday of every month. It's one day a month when everybody in Arcadian Alley is off from work and dedicates the day to celebrating the bond between themselves and their (in some cases, hundreds) of adopted "cousins." There's parades, there's duels (which end in group hugs) when someone wears a T-shirt saying "Best Cousin Ever" and dozens of other cousins insist that THEY are the ones who deserve the title, friendship bracelets, gift exchanges, concerts, karaoke, free food, and a conga line (longest conga line ever recorded took place 2 years ago, consisting of 527 cousins and one goat- well, The Goat).
The Goat is at the head of every Cousin Day conga line. The Goat is able to walk on two legs when needed, as long as needed, and Mayor The Goat was never one to shirk its civic duty of leading the Cousin Day Parade Conga Line standing upright on two legs. The various cousins take turns being second in line (thereby being the person in the conga line to hold onto The Goat’s back or shoulders (depending on the height of the cousin).
Blood Tracing Program
There's a Ministry-funded Blood Tracing Program announced when Benji is ten and Olly is twelve. Benji hears about Ministry-funded blood tests being performed to reunite children with long-lost parents (sometimes separated during the war, sometimes children that Pureblood fathers have abandoned, or simply never knew about (remember what I mentioned about war crimes), and the Ministry wants the Pureblood fathers to pay support). He's curious about his parents and decides to apply.
He tries to convince Olly to do so as well- wouldn't it be cool if it turned out Benji's and Olly's parents were related and they were recognized as cousins by the Ministry (the Ministry doesn't officially recognize Arcadian Alley cousinhood- Arcadian Alley Youngbloods cope with this by ignoring the Ministry and doing whatever they want anyway).
"We're already cousins, no matter what the Ministry says," Olly pointed out. "Besides, what if they're assholes?" he added, crossing his arms.
"I have my Emancipation," Benji responded. "If I don't like them, I don't have to have anything to do with them. If they're cool, we can all play Quidditch together.”
“But what if they suck at Quidditch?” Olly asks doubtfully.
“Don’t see how you can suck at Quidditch AND be cool, unless you’re like… a little kid,” said Benji. “You can’t be an adult and suck at Quidditch and still be cool.”
“Now help me fill out this application," he said, handing Olly about half of the sheets in the long application and filling out the rest himself (like most Youngbloods, he and Olly are hopeless with things like Ministry paperwork, organization, general executive functioning, so they tend to split those types of tasks up and share the load).
“I knew I shouldn’t have let you teach me how to read,” said Olly, looking down at the thick stack of parchment.
“I had to do something when I was a little kid and couldn’t always get work like you could. And those literacy classes had free snacks and let you take books home. And reading is fun. Besides, you had to read to pass the exam to become a Certified Runes Tech.”
“Yeah, but that was mostly reading Runes. Not… Ministry paperwork,” said Olly. But he picked up a quill nevertheless.
And Benji would totally list his middle name on the forms as “Apollo” after Olly’s last name. “Benji Apollo Evans,” he would say in a singsong voice as he wrote his name on each page of the form (as required of all Ministry forms in case the pages got separated), causing Olly to roll his eyes in a mixture of fondness and annoyance.
Once Benji's application is processed, he submits his blood to the Ministry. Olly accompanies him for moral support. Benji only ever goes to any kind of Healer when he's Splinched himself. He gives "I can Splinch myself while on fire, put out the fire, and tough it out through a day of renovating a Manor's entire guest suite with no problems, but I will unleash Accidental Magic and bolt like a startled fawn (but in a totally manly way) if you attempt to give me a shot" energy. And Olly is very protective of his Turtledove.
Benji totally squeezes Olly's hand, but jerks away from the collection wand involuntarily (perhaps Accidentally Apparating to Olly's other side, managing to grab hold of Olly's other hand). The Healer offers to put him in a Body Bind for a few seconds to get him through the procedure, but both Benji and Olly glare at her. Olly pulls the slightly-shaking Benji into his lap and holds him tightly as Benji's blood is collected.
About a week after the blood draw, Benji receives a letter from Albus Dumbledore saying that if he agreed to meet at Hogwarts tomorrow evening, he would find out about his family. Professor Dumbledore had offered Hogwarts as a safe meeting place over the summer for children and parents to be reunited through the Ministry-funded blood tracing program. However, these meetings only occurred during the daytime. 13-year-old Olly, already suspicious of Dumbledore after a lifetime of living in Arcadian Alley, doesn't trust this- Why was Dumbledore offering to meet with his Turtledove at night? "Don't go, Turtledove," Olly tries to convince him.
Benji doesn’t trust Dumbledore any more than Olly does (even though neither of them are especially knowledgeable about politics; they generally just go to the Anti-Dumbledore protests for fun). But he’s burning with curiosity about his parents.
"But I want to find out who my parents are- at least if they're cool and could build a Fireproof Broomstick," said Benji. Benji decides to fly a home-built broomstick from Arcadian Alley in London to Hogwarts in Scotland. He plans to take the longer route, so he could fly over the coastline. Maybe he'll Livestream the trip on Ember. Olly calls him crazy, mad, a bird-brain, then declares he's coming with Benji (on a home-built broom of his own).
The Livestream is actually pretty popular viewing among Arcadian Alley Youngbloods, filled with encouraging comments for Benji, skeptical comments about Dumbledore, comments about the broomsticks and the "cousin's" brilliant flying techniques (especially when they show off their stunt flying). Benji's "Best Cousin Ever" hat stays on through the midair chaos as usual through the use of a Sticking Charm. The hat also serves to keep Benji's blond, untidy hair out of his face.
Professor Dumbledore is surprised to see both Benji and Olly holding hands at the front door to Hogwarts, both dressed in Arcadian Alley chaos-wear (Benji wearing a patched and faded denim jacket, as well as a pair of faded blue jeans and scuffed work boots. The patches have Arcadian Alley slogans, such as "Emancipate this!" and "The Goat approves." Olly's wearing a leather jacket with burn marks, random Runes, and a few small tears). Benji smiles charmingly, while Olly scowls up at Dumbledore, a distrustful look on his face.
Dumbledore offers a somewhat confused smile before leading them both to his office. Benji and Olly keep holding hands during the meeting with Dumbledore. And the only reason Dumbledore is able to guess who Olly is is because Olly was the one who helped Benji fill out the Ministry-Funded Blood Tracing Program application.
Dumbledore tells the truth. That Benji was really Harry Potter, that his parents were dead- killed when Benji/Harry was one by Lord Voldemort. Harry/Benji somehow survived the Killing Curse, vanquishing Voldemort and making him famous. Benji didn't care what his birth name was- his name was Benjamin Evans- that was what his Emancipated Minor necklace said. Besides, he had built a whole life around being Benji Evans. All he could focus on was the fact that his parents, the people he had been so excited to finally meet, his long-lost family, were dead. And Dumbledore- Dumbledore lured him here, making it seem like he would meet his parents with his cleverly vague letter (promising that if he came to Hogwarts tonight, he would find out the identify of his parents). His Accidental Magic flared up in anger, destroying Dumbledore's study and causing Dumbledore's long white beard to catch fire. Olly, ever protective of his Turtledove, joins in on destroying the office.
Dumbledore would for sure try to stop the clearly emotionally and Magically unstable boy from leaving the office. Not that this works. Olly grabs Benji and the two share Olly's broom to fly to Hogsmeade. Then, Olly side-along Apparates Benji and himself home to Arcadian Alley.
Olly half-carries Benji into their cottage, their home. "I can walk by myself," said Benji, exhausted but still determined. Olly ignores him and helps him onto the couch, tucking a patchwork quilt around Benji's small, exhausted body. "I can fix my own quilt," said Benji stubbornly, even as he let Olly tuck him in. "You need to eat something," said Olly, ignoring Benji's protests. "I can do the cooking!" Benji insisted. "Your cooking is dangerous at the best of times. And you only keep snacks around. You need real food," said Olly. "I'll do the cooking." Olly raised a hand and Summoned (at random) several different ingredients from his own kitchen in his cottage next door, determined to make a meal out of whatever he Summoned. Olly could always fix a delicious meal, even back before Benji and Olly were Emancipated Minors and were living off whatever the Arcadian Food Bank was providing. Once Olly finishes cooking, he sits beside Benji on the couch. Benji, exhausted, lays his head in Olly's lap. Olly responds by hand-feeding him. Benji eats, despite his protests that he can feed himself.
Benji fell asleep, head in Olly's lap. Olly gently strokes Benji's hair until he too falls asleep. For the first time, Benji has a nightmare about the night his parents died- his father telling his mother "Take Harry and run! I'll hold him off!" then dashing out of the nursery without his wand. He heard the strangled shout from the other room as his father was killed. He saw a strange man with a monstrous, mask-like face enter the room. His mother screaming, pleading with the monster "Not Harry, please not Harry- take me instead," the monster telling her, "Stand aside, silly girl" and finally running out of patience and turning his wand on her. His mother died in a burst of green light. The monster turned to Benji. Benji couldn't move, could do nothing to defend himself. There was another burst of green light, but it seemed to bounce off Benji and hit the monster instead. The monster crumpled to the floor, his body disappearing. Benji woke up in a cold sweat.
The next morning, Benji didn't want to talk about last night, his parents, his family, or Dumbledore. He kept his thoughts and conversation determinedly focused on the Cousin Day party scheduled for today (it was the last Sunday of the month, after all).
Arcadian Alley hummed with the chaos of Cousin Day. The other cousins had seen Benji's Livestream yesterday, during which he was flying to Hogwarts with the intent of meeting his parents. However, when Benji said nothing about his parents today, everybody took the hint and didn't mention it. They found little ways to cheer him up, though. Benji was, by common consensus, allowed to be the first one to be second-in-line in the conga line (just behind The Goat). The cousins rotated positions in the conga line after every song. Benji was not only allowed to be first, but his turn was set to "Arcadian Rhapsody," a 6-minute (or 7-minute if you play the version with the long guitar solo) song about living in Arcadian Alley (basically a parody of Bohemian Rhapsody).
The Cousin Day parade finally winds down around midnight. Of course, in Arcadian Alley, this meant slightly muted cheers and a moderate decrease in the amount of fireworks. Olly insisted on carrying Benji up the front steps of the cottage, saying Benji looks ready to pass out after last night (Olly pretended that Benji was exhausted by the long flight, but they both knew the truth) and today's Cousin Day parade.
The two are curled up on Olly's couch, watching Ember videos, when Olly catches a glimpse of half a dozen Aurors out his window. Reflexively, he grips Benji's shoulders tightly. He pushes Benji to the ground so that he wouldn’t be seen through the living room window. Several bangs echo through the cottage as the Aurors knock on the front door. “Aurors! Open up!” shouts a man’s voice.
Benji and Olly look at each other, terrified. The Ministry must have figured out that Benji was really Harry Potter. And his address was right there on the application- for the Ministry-Funded Blood Tracing Program.
Olly threw a bit of Floo powder into the fireplace and gently shoved Benji towards it. "Olly, no!" Benji whispered frantically, clinging to Olly's arm. He couldn't leave his cousin. "Shhh... The Aurors won't come to Knockturn Alley. Lay low there for a bit. I'll hold them off." Benji was reminded of his dream from last night- hadn't his father promised his mother that he would hold "him" off? "No, I won't leave you!" Olly, his face grim, whispered "Knockturn Alley" and shoved Benji into the flames.