Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Okay, alright, people. Come on, pay attention.”

“Girls, come on...”

“I hope everybody remembers the cheer, because certain people last time did not remember the cheer, so let's get it together! Okay? We've got a game next week!”

“Alright. One!.. Two!..”

***

Lynz shoved her sketchbooks into her locker and slammed the door shut, but not too loudly, she made sure of it, because she didn't want to make a scene; that was the worst for her social life, especially now. It wasn't her fault she was head over heels for a nerd and went to a studio to make art with him instead of practicing, right? It was. Kitty was right; the game was next week, and Lynz had to practice the cheer if she didn't want to fail everyone. But she couldn't believe how rude it was to call her out like that in front of everyone. She recalled the way Kitty's brown eyes tilted in her direction and the bitterness in Lynz's chest when it happened. 

Whatever. Now it was time to go home to practice and memorize the cheer. She couldn't procrastinate anymore for a weird comic kid no matter how much she liked him. Cheer had to be her first priority... And her friendship with Kitty. 

Meanwhile, as Lynz was heading home, that nerd, Gerard, was sitting alone in the art studio. He checked the time on the overhead clock. She would usually be here by now; hopefully she was just late. Maybe she was buying something from the convenience store down the road.

Minutes passed. She wasn't coming; he was sure of it. A sudden pang of sadness sunk in his stomach, the same feeling he got each time he felt alone. It reaped his motivation to draw and paint, so he figured it was time to go home. Say hi to his little brother Mikey. Do homework. Eat dinner. Maybe he would call her before going to bed. He would see her anyway tomorrow.

On the sidewalk, he passed the park, tensing up as he heard the frightening laugh and shouts of teenage athletes nearby.

“Nerd!”

He rolled his eyes, but didn't bother to look at them. They were the real losers; they stopped their game to give him attention, just because they were bored assholes. 

“I see Lynz! I'm gonna take her home and have fun!” 

Gerard looked immediately at the disgusting comment about his crush, but all he saw was a fucking football flying for his face before he stumbled to the ground, with a sudden pain in his nose.

“Haha! Made you look!”

Frank Iero, a casual student with tons of energy and wit, hurried down the sidewalk to Gerard. He grabbed the collar of his polo shirt and helped him up before grabbing his hand. 

They were best friends, so close that some would assume they were dating. Frank always had Gerard's back when he got picked on, just like Gerard had Mikey's back. 

“Let's get out of here,” he urged, nervously watching droplets of blood from Gerard's nose fall onto the pavement. “Fast.”

Both of them ran until the park was out of sight. Blood was streaming down Gerard's chin and staining his shirt and tie, but that was better than being more injured if he stuck around.  Luckily his house was down the block and Frank was here with him. They were both catching their breath.

“Ugh... Look at you,” Frank teased, even though he did look slightly, genuinely disgusted.

Gerard let his nose bleed into his hand now that they weren't running. He spit out a bit and hissed, “Shut it...”

Gerard wasn't the only victim of his bullies. He was friends with a Catholic punk boy who went by the name Jimmy. They picked on him and called him out for being a sinner, especially when he wore skirts because “homosexuality is a sin.” 

Right now he was in his local youth group, listening to the boring lecture they were preaching. Tonight was another constant reminder of his sins, because they were teaching everyone about how homosexuality is forbidden and how Satan tempts you to act on gay fantasties. 

He couldn't take that shit, so he faked to look at the clock for a few seconds. Slowly, he raised his hand.

“Yes, James?” the pastor noticed him.

“I have to leave... It's urgent,” Jimmy lied, quickly thinking up an excuse for why.

“Oh, alright. Something come up?”

“Kinda.” Jimmy shuffled through the other students' legs. “I have to be home early tonight.”

“Okay. We'll see you next week!” the pastor farewelled. 

Jimmy's little brother, Markus, looked at him all confused, but whatever. He would tell him when he got home, or not, it wasn't like it was his business anyway. What mattered now was getting out of here. Somebody from his school whispered the word “fag” in his direction and even though he wanted to beat them and tell them to shut the fuck up, self control was one of the fruits of the spirits. 

When he got home, his mother was surprised to see him home so early. She was cooking dinner; it would be done by the time Markus came home. Her eyebrows were furrowed a bit in concern. “You're back early.”

“Yeah,” Jimmy dismissed it as if it was nothing. 

“Why?”

Jimmy sighed and ignored her, but she shouted at him to stop and put down the wooden spoon she was using.

“No, listen to me. Doesn't the Bible say obey your parents? Answer me. You never come home early.” She tapped his shoulder and spun him around. 

“I-I was tired,” Jimmy stammered.

“I can tell you're lying.” His mother put her hands on her hips, a way to amplify her attitude. “Is there something you're hiding? Lying's a sin.”

“I didn't like the lesson,” Jimmy mumbled, his heart pounding.

“What was it about?”

Jimmy hesitated. There was no getting out of this. He just got himself into big trouble and there was no way to reverse it. “It was about how...”

She raised her eyebrows. 

“...Homosexuality is a sin.”

“Oh, don't tell me you're gay!”

Jimmy got defensive quickly. After all, he was literally wearing an all white skirt and a cropped tank top. “Is it that hard to tell? You didn't know this?!”

His mother stepped back and frantically pointed to his room. “No, no son of mine is gay! I want you to go straight to your room and repent and clean your soul. It's Satan doing this to you!”

“I'm sorry, mom,” Jimmy said as he turned around and began to head for his room. Truth was, he wasn't sorry. He was okay with being gay, and no matter how hard he tried to crush on a girl, his heart always found solace in his friend Steve.

Steve was almost just like him. He wore skirts, ties, and spiky hair, except he wasn't Catholic. The two of them were best friends, close like Frank and Gerard, like Kitty and Lynz. Jimmy tried to keep their friendship, to not start dating him, but it was hard when the devil tempted him all the time. 

Jimmy was sick of being ashamed of who he really was. 

So was Gerard.

Gerard was in his living room, a tissue up to his bleeding, broken nose. The phone on the wall rung and he sighed. “Who is it?”

Mikey looked at the number for him. “It's Jimmy.”

Gerard stood up and walked over to the phone. He picked it up and shot a “Hello?”

Jimmy was prepared to rant, sitting on his bed with his legs crossed. “I'm having a shitty night.”

“Me too,” Gerard grumbled. 

“My mom found out I was gay and she wants me to repent.”

“Oh, I'm sorry. That sucks. I got hit in the nose by a football and now it's broken. I don't think I can make it to school tomorrow.”

“Aww!”

“I know... I really wanted to see Lynz. She didn't come to the studio today.” As Gerard said it, his heart sunk at the thought of not seeing his crush tomorrow. 

Lynz wanted to see Gerard tomorrow, too. She was at home, messing up her cheer, thinking about her crush too much, remembering what Kitty did, having a shitty night. They all were. Hopefully tomorrow would be a better day.

Chapter Text

“You've been acting different, Lyn,” Kitty said, placing a bag of chips that she offered to Lynz, to which she weirdly declined, on a picnic table. “How are your classes?”

“They're fine, I guess,” Lynz muttered, resting on her elbow. There was a strange silence after.

“Are you nervous about the game soon?” Kitty guessed.

“No,” Lynz then stood up, her cold voice fading into fury. “You know what?!”

Kitty flinched, eyes going wide as her friend raised her voice.

“It's you! You humiliated me in front of the entire cheer team and now everybody knows about me and Gerard. You knew that was a secret!” Lynz raged, fuming at the memory of yesterday. 

Kitty stood up, too, stooping to her level. “I never even told them; what are you talking about?!”

“They still knew. You looked straight at me and they immediately knew what was up about 'me forgetting the cheer'.  Everybody's talking about me now!” Lynz rambled, then turned to face the many groups of students. The jocks were a distance away, when usually they camped near the cheerleaders, hoping to score one of them. Now that they knew Lynz's type was a “nerd”, they seemed pretty despairing. 

Once Lynz was looking at her, Kitty said, “I'm sorry. I was kinda joking; I didn't realize it would turn into this big thing. Cause we're friends, right? I didn't think anybody would question it.”

“Yeah, we're friends, but we're also the fucking popular girls.” Lynz sat down at the table and fidgeted with a hairclip. Kitty did the same, still looking at her. 

“Again, I'm really sorry, Lyn,” Kitty tried again. 

“I know. Just try to be more careful, okay?” Lynz scanned the area, searching for her crush, ending up with no luck. “Where's Gerard anyway?”

Everybody and everything was off today... Jimmy was resting on the other picnic table next to them, zoning out above a Bible. Steve was sitting beside him, completely quiet and doing nothing, like he was waiting for the bell to ring so he could actually have something to do, even if it was a boring science lesson. Frank was with his friend Ray, walking around, passing their tables.

“He broke his nose,” he replied, slowing down.

“Damn,” Lynz hissed. “How?”

“Those fuckin' athletes threw a football at his face when he was walking home... I'm glad I was around, but I don't know why he was going home so early.”

“Probably cuz I didn't go to the studio,” Lynz mumbled. She wanted to  say it was Kitty's fault, but it really wasn't. She had every chance to go to the art studio, and the only reason she didn't was because Kitty reminded her of the game next week. Those jocks really needed a taste of their own medicine...

Steve could see the chapters Jimmy read at the top corners of each page. Leviticus. He scanned the scriptures below curiously, then looked back up at his friend, who was still staring off with a guilty look on his face. Steve was never religious once in his life, so really he had no idea what Jimmy could be thinking. He dropped his gaze back down to the tiny but painful words of Leviticus 20:13. And after reading that, he zoned out, too. 

The verse stabbed Jimmy in the heart each time it was recited in his head. If God was so good, why did what He was putting him through feel so evil? Everything happens for a reason in the end, they said, but was it really worth it? He looked at Steve, wondering how God could make him turn down a perfect opportunity to date his best friend. They had so much in common; their punk style, red hair, interest in music, but God got in the way of all that. 

Steve noticed Jimmy looking at him, but he quickly averted his eyes. He knew he wasn't crazy for seeing it; he just didn't want to start anything, so he said nothing. Jimmy went back to reading that verse no matter how much salt it added to the wound, and zoned out again.

Steve wanted nothing more than to slam that stupid book shut.

The bell rung at last, saving both of them from the seemingly perpetual suffering. Jimmy still wasn't talking, didn't even crack an awkward smile, like he wasn't fully awake. As they were heading inside the double doorway, one of the bullies tugged one of his hair spikes.

“Couldn't take the lesson last night, fag?” 

Jimmy glared at him. “Don't act like you're not just as bad a sinner.”

Steve pulled his arm. “Stop.”

Lynz was passing by, shoving the bully out of her way, who was still throwing taunting looks at Jimmy. He furrowed his eyebrows all offended as he staggered against the wall. 

“Ew, the weird girl touched me!” he cried. 

“Grow the fuck up,” Kitty snapped, catching up to Lynz. 

History was Lynz's next period. Gerard shared that with her, but it felt like there was a missing piece without him here when she couldn't zone out thinking about him during another boring lesson about some war that happened centuries ago. No Kitty this period. None of Gerard's friends. She was practically forced to focus. 

“Pass this to Lynz,” a boy whispered a couple seats down. 

Oh God. A slip of paper was handed to her and she unfolded it hesitantly. 

WILL YOU GO 2 PROM WITH ME? <3

These boys must have been desperate. Everybody knew about her crush on Gerard; she was popular, so of course word would be spread if it regarded her quickly. It was a pretty hopeless move to pass her an anonymous note like this thinking she'd put a yes in that corny check box. And even though one would expect her to feel wanted and worthy with this many boys begging her to date them, she couldn't; it was a trend this year to lose your virginity before prom. She could only assume they wanted to date a "flexible cheerleader" for no other reason than sex whatsoever.

She wrote a check in the "no" box right below the text and handed it back to her classmate. “Pass it back.”

The classmate read the note with a snicker now that it was unfolded, the sound emitted from his throat filled with a sadistic pride, like he was happy his classmate got rejected. But the truth was, this year everybody was like that. Everybody was jealous of each other one way or the other. And that's why Gerard Way was getting bullied more than usual; he was carefree, caring about his own hobbies and interests more than what the next cool thing was unlike everybody else. He wanted real love, not to follow trends. He genuinely loved Lynz and Lynz genuinely loved him; that was what everybody was so pissed about. When they finally would start dating, how would they all react?

The student handed the slip of paper to the student beside him and whispered, “Pass this back to Steve.”