Work Text:
It was a cold, clear night. After what felt like a millennium, the party found themselves out of the (now formerly, thanks to Thaniel and Oliver's reunion, and the long-overdue death of Ketheric Thorm) Shadow-Cursed Lands, away from Moonrise Towers, and towards the Baldur's Gate. With the truth of the Emperor's identity revealed, the battle they had just faced with the Githyanki prince's honour guard, and the beauty of the finally visible starts above them, Felyndra should've found it easy to enter reverie. But try as she may, she couldn't. Something was weighing on their heart. A hurt long buried, only reignited by their proximity to the gate. She shuffled and turned on her bed roll, begging to the stars, in almost a prayer, to let the feeling pass.
Suddenly, they felt a soft hand slip into their own. Turning towards the sensation, she locked eyes with Shadowheart, her gaze a mix of worry and love.
"Is something the matter, love? Are you alright? Is there something you'd like to talk about?" Shadowheart questioned softly, her gaze never once leaving Felyndra's own.
After a brief pause, Felyndra sat up, and spoke. "There's something I need you to know. Something that keeps haunting me. You've shown me so much of your past, and yet I fear you know so little about mine." Felyndra gave Shadowheart's hand a soft squeeze, and Shadowheart let out a shaky sigh, wracked with concern. She slowly stood, fingers still gently curled around Felyndra's.
"Let's find somewhere more private to talk, hmm? I have a feeling whatever it is you're about to tell me is something you don't want the others knowing just yet."
Soon enough, the two of them found themselves alone together, sitting on a cliff face overlooking Rivington. With the town's lanterns blown out, the only lights visible were that of the moon and the stars, the moon's reflection dancing elegantly atop the water below them. A cool breeze from the water washed across the two, sending a shiver down Felyndra's spine. She leaned in closer the Shadowheart's warm breath.
"The moon really is beautiful... and to think, but a few days ago, I would be scorning its meer existence" Shadowheart remarked, letting a soft chuckle escape her lips. "But I digress. This isn't about me. This is about what's weighing so heavily on your mind... and... I feel I have an idea where to start" Shadowheart tensed slightly, her thumb tracing gentle circles on Felyndra's hand, clearly considering how to approach her question with tact. "After learning all I know about myself now, about my past, I find myself… reevaluating certain moments I had with you. Back in the Underdark… I was so focused on learning more about becoming a dark justiciar that I paid almost no focus on you… and I’m sorry. But… looking back on it, in the Underdark you seemed... pained, almost dissociative. You seemed so unlike your usual bubbly, wordy, outright wonderful self. Looking back on it... why weren't you happy to be home?"
As soon as the words left Shadowheart's lips, something broke within Felyndra, and they stood up quickly, letting go of Shadowheart's hand, their own balling up into tight fists so tense they shook madly. "That place was never a home to me, and it never will be!" they spat, each of their words tinged with contempt. Their face had twisted, their eyebrows furrowed, eyes squinted, teeth clenched. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, hot and sharp.
A silence fell over the two of them, the air thick with tension. Felyndra stood there, silently seething, before reality finally struck her, and she saw the look of both horror and worry that was plastered across Shadowheart's face. She collaped to the floor and looked away from Shadowheart in shame, furiously wiping tears away from her face. "I’m sorry, gods I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped like that." she said weakly, a hard lump growing in her throat.
Soft fingers brushed her cheek, wiping her tears, and another cupped her chin, turning her fact back towards Shadowheart's, but she couldn't bare to look into her eyes. Gently, Shadowheart spoke. "Love, look at me." Carefully, Felyndra met her gaze. "You don't have to tell me anything you're not ready to talk about. If you want to just sit here in silence with me for a while, or if you just want to go back to camp, we can." She delicately tucked a piece of Felyndra's hair behind their ear, and pressed a gentle kiss on their tear-stained cheeks. Felyndra leaned into the sensation, and cupped Shadowheart's hand in her own once more.
Felyndra took a deep, shuttered breath, and began to speak. "You deserve to know. I owe it to you. After everything you’ve been through… after everything we’ve been through together…"
"You don’t owe me anything."
"No, no... I want to tell you. I trust you."
Felyndra took a deep, shaky breath, and Shadowheart gave their hand one last reassuring squeeze. "You’re… not the first person I’ve fallen for."
A familiar sensation twinged at the corners of Shadowheart's mind, as Felyndra connected their parasite to hers, showing her glimpses of their own past. She closed her eyes, directing her full attention the their memories.
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁"Before you... I had another love. My first. Her name was Nathune… she was… well... my everything. Her eyes were red as rubies, skin a dusty turquoise. She was a cleric like you... but under Lolth. She was the first daughter of her house… I was the sixth of mine. I was seen as weak, inferior. Drow society favours elder daughters, and those who are cut-throat and ruthless... and yet… she never looked down on me for who I was. She never saw me as any different."
"She was my best friend, ever since we met. We were young, dumb kids."She was there when I taught myself to play the drums…" A smile briefly flickers across Felyndra's face, and the memories feel warm, compassionate. But as quickly as the sensation came, it faded, a cold, chill running through their shared minds. "And, well... she was there every time my family attempted to assassinate me for being the weak link of our house."
"After one particularly awful night, she finally got fed up with the way I was being treated. We made a plan that night, we were to run away together, to Baldur's Gate, and live there freely. We would start a new life together, I would find a job as a bard at a tavern, she could find work at a healing house, we'd save up enough gold to get a place to live together. We were overjoyed. We tried to keep our little secret… but my eldest sister found my diary, and through that... our plans. She ratted me out to mother."
"That night, I found myself summoned to my mother’s chambers. There she was, my sisters surrounding her…, wicked grins stretched across their faces... and there Nathune was below mother, with mother's dagger pressed to her throat. She gave me an ultimatum, either I was to stay in the Underdark, and Nathune and I could remain together, or I could be granted freedom, allowed to leave in peace… but Nathune would be slaughtered, and I was to never set foot in house Kenlyl again. Nath… she knew I wouldn’t be able to kill her… but she loved me too much to watch me suffer any longer. She snatched the blade from mother’s hand… and with one final “'I love you'”… she slit her own throat. And just like that… I was free."
"I was free... and she was gone."
"I ran, as far and as fast as I could until my feet were bloody and raw. I spent decades in hiding across the frontiers, terrified that my family would come for me… but they never did. Just as I was finally mustering up the courage to enter baldurs gate, to finally live the life Nathune had granted to me… I was captured by the nautiloid." . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
Shadowheart's eyes opened. She was once again face-to-face with Felyndra, who now looked utterly drained and defeated, a stark contrast from her usually permanently-plastered wide grin. A soft, wet chuckle escaped their lips. "And then… I met you. And I think you know the rest of this story."
There was a brief pause, but then Felyndra found herself being pulled into a tight hug by Shadowheart. Felyndra's body stiffened, but then trembled and melted into her as their breathing became gasps and loud sobs heaved their way out of them, choking their thoat, and blurring their vission. Shadowheart rubbed her back gently, tears of her own welling up within her eyes, hodling Felyndra tighter and tighter, as though if she dared let go, Felyndra would vanish. They sat there like this for what must've been hours, until Felyndra was physically exhausted from sobbing, and her breathing slowed. She gently let go of Shadowheart, and they looked into each other's eyes once more. Shadowheart cupped both of Felyndra's cheeks in her hands.
" Felyndra… I... I don’t know what to say. I don't even know where to begin. Gods, I’m sorry. I'm so, so sorry. You didn’t deserve it, any of it. You’re the kindest, most compassionate soul I’ve ever met. You went through all of that, and yet you still choose to put others before yourself. You went back to the one place you hate most in the world just because of my stupid desires. You could’ve… you should’ve put yourself first. Why? Why didn't you?" she questioned with desparation, hands shaking. Felyndra grabbed Shadowheart's hands away from her cheeks, pulling them into her lap. They looked down at their entwined hands.
"Because… I love you." Their eyes once again met Shadowheart's. "After everything Nath did to set me free… after all the years I’d wasted longing for a dream I’d never wake up to, I finally realized that she’d hate to see what I’d done with the chance she gave me. She’d want me to be happy, to live, to love again, to just… be. When we shared that night under the stars, when we first kissed, it just felt… right. Like... she had sent you to me. That I’d do anything to keep you happy and close to me. And when I saw the ways your eyes lit up at Halsin's mentions of dark justiciars in the Underdark, I knew that I'd even revisit the Underdark for you. That I wouldn't let my past dictate my future. That... they couldn't hurt me anymore."
Shadowheart pressed a kiss on Felyndra's forehead. "…You really are amazing, you know that?"
Despite her eyes still being red and wet with tears, Felyndra felt a smile creep it's way across her face, and her cheeks flush. She let out a stiffled chuckle. "I try my best to be." As she wiped away the last of her tears, sudden panic spread across her face. "Oh gods, I probably look like a mess, what in the hells are we going to tell the others?"
"We'll tell them that I attempted to write you a love song, and that it was so bad you burst into tears"
Felyndra snorted, and then finally a proper laugh escaped them. "You're awful, you know that?"
Shadowheart smirked "I try my best to be."
Silence once again fell upon them as the sun rose, but this time, the silence was warm... comforting even. The two of them cuddled into each other, hearts beating as one.
" You know... we should pay tribute to her in some way. To thank her for bringing us together."
"...I think I’d like that."