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His voice triggers her.
She only needed to hear it once and her body reacted the same way it did years ago. Her heart beating fast, her hands roughly pulling her up, her legs straightening and launching to the ground, her eyes opening as she turned any emotion off.
But a second passed and she remembered this wasn't the Red Room anymore, and the tall brunette guy standing on her door wasn't the harsh and cold Winter Soldier. He was just Bucky. Bucky Barnes waking her up for breakfast.
Two seconds passed and she turned back into her normal casual pose, as her eyes relaxed while looking at him, putting on a tired expression, because she had just woken up.
Bucky looked at her horrified, but she decided it was best to not talk about it, so she just brushed her hand slightly, signaling him to move aside so she could go grab her food. And Bucky just stood there, speechless, his body following her lazy stride.
Of course Bucky would be surprised.
He probably didn't remember all the training and bruises between them in the Red Room. But Yelena could recall it by heart, never forgetting the way his punches landed on her ribs, the way his fingers harshly snapped before he took her down in one hit. Their fights ended up with blood spat on the concrete and broken bones, all caused by him. He was too strong and impetuous. His eyes darken at the sight of her violently thrown to the ground, his angry expression every time he realized she was getting up again, ready to fight, ready for more. He never backed down, though. Never told her to stop resisting, to stop taking all the hits.
The ballet practice was the worst, because whenever he walked by the corridor while her teacher forcibly opened her legs for an Espacate, he had a unique look on his face that she knew was directed to her. A look so mysterious it still haunted her nightmares, almost as if...
No.
Let's not think about that.
Right now her stomach was groaning inside and she was starving for some of those stirred eggs Walker was weirdly good at cooking. And since today is a monday, that meant Alexei brought fresh oranges to pour her that delicious and refreshing orange juice he knew she loved a lot. So she decided to explain it to Bucky later, when her brain could organize thoughts better, because hunger made her dizzy. So right now she needed her home-made breakfast that she quickly got used to. Easily forgetting all those years where she had soulless-made food in the Red Room, or when she lived alone, working for Valentina. She hated remembering how they treated her and Bucky in the Red Room anyway. Those memories were too painful and unfair to be remembered so often.
But Bucky never came to the kitchen. Minutes passed, and as she chewed on her toasts and eggs, she realized the empty seat by her side, the one that had become Bucky's as the team adjusted to each other. Because it just made sense the leaders would sit closer. They were family, and the two leaders naturally filled the Mother and Father role of the team. But Yelena never really gave it much thought, just now realizing it because of Bucky's sudden absence.
“Guess he felt bad…” She thought sadly. Yelena hadn't meant to ruin his morning by randomly giving him a Russian Salute when he woke her up. He could've just let Bob do it, which was the norm for every time she slept too late. Although sometimes it was Alexei, or John, even Ava. But never Bucky.
Why did he even do it anyway?
After she devoured her delicious breakfast, Yelena knew she would have to find Bucky and talk to him, otherwise he would probably dwell on this new discovery and end up punishing himself for things that were not his fault.
It didn't take long to find him, though. Of course he was on the roof, standing by the ledge and contemplating at the site of early New York weather.
“Hope you're not thinking about jumping,” she joked, but struggled with the worried tone trying to scratch the surface of her voice.
He didn't answer. Didn't even acknowledge her.
She touched his shoulder now, closer than before.
No reaction.
“Hey, I'm sorry,” she apologized with a sad expression, and then he finally looked at her, brows furrowed.
“What are you apologizing for?” He sounded angry. Not the way she was expecting him to react.
“Uhh, for not telling you before? I don't know, Bucky. I just saw you standing there and I felt bad,” Yelena managed, defeated.
“I'm the one who should feel bad.”
“Actually, no. It wasn't your fault, you didn't choose to train me,” she reassured him.
“I still hurt you.”
“And I hurt you too, remember?”
“You were too young…”
“I was in my early twenties already, Bucky. I just age slowly.”
“Doesn't matter. I'm still feeling bad. I won't wake you up again, I'm really sorry.”
Yelena took a deep breath, closing her eyes and thinking.
How could she fix this? And get this man out of this self-pitying spiral he loves to go back to.
She finally had an idea.
“Maybe it's better if you do wake me up.”
“What do you mean?” Bucky turned to her, confused.
“You know computers and hard drives?” This explanation might suck, but it was all she got.
“Huh?” He turned his whole body to her now.
“Hard drives! When you allocate data in a hard drive, it writes it down. And as you keep adding data, eventually all the blank spaces in that hard drive will be filled. Then what do you do?”
Bucky didn't answer, just kept staring.
“You don't throw it away, obviously. You just erase data, so that part will be marked so when you input new data into the hard drive, it is going to overwrite the new information on the spot that had the old one.”
“I'm trying to follow…” Bucky said while raising an eyebrow.
“Basically, what I mean is: Keep waking me up. Keep calling me by my name.”
“But-” He tried to disagree.
“That way my body won't react to your voice like you're the cold trainer who bruised me all the time and that I had a weird crush on. You're just gonna be Bucky, my teammate.” Yelena hadn't realized what she said because she was talking too fast her brain didn't filter anything.
“What?” He pinched his eyes at her, a surprised tone in his voice.
“Let's readapt, Bucky. We deserve to give each other second chances,” a sigh, “please?”
“I-”
“Will you do that with me?” She pleaded with big eyes, trying to appeal to him somehow.
“Okay…” He gave up, then nodded defeatly.
She smiled at him, thankful it was all solved and that he didn't bring up the “C-word” she threw in her speech, as she slowly walked away from the balcony and walked towards the exit door.
“Yelena!” He called and she turned her back, now far from him. “Yes?”
“I-” He started, but backed down. “We'll talk tomorrow! When I wake you up again!”
“Okay!” She confirmed it, smiling.