Chapter Text
“Spring passes and one remembers one's innocence.
Summer passes and one remembers one's exuberance.
Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence.
Winter passes and one remembers one's perseverance.”
- Yoko Ono
“Don’t … leave me behind.” Until they were spoken, Kaidan hadn’t realized he’d even been thinking the words. But that aside, he knew them to be true. The last time, on Horizon, he’d left her behind. Harsh words and accusations between them, walls that had taken an inordinate amount of time to bring down. But they had finally. And once they had, he’d promised to always have her back, to be there for her when she needed it most. But fate apparently had other ideas.
She had to have know what this was doing to him. He could see it by the look in her chocolate brown eyes. Stepping towards him, hand lifting to touch his cheek as she told him quietly, “No matter what happens, Kaidan, … know that I love you. Always.”
Kaidan leaned heavily on James as the lieutenant held him steady and upright, no thanks to the hip injuries he’d received, and yet he could only stare at her as her words echoed between them. Shepard was moving backwards now, still facing towards him but descending off the ramp of the Normandy. Belatedly, Kaidan tried to reach for her, even attempting to lean out towards her, but James held him back. He mouthed her name, knew she saw it by the flare of recognition in her eyes, and she gave him a warm smile. “Go,” she told him earnestly. Then with a bit more force behind it, she shouted it again.
“Be safe,” he called after her as the ramp lifted, finally closing and separating them.
Once the door was shut, James began leading Kaidan away. “C’mon, major. We need to get you up to the doc.”
And though Kaidan tried to focus on taking individual steps, on assisting James as much as he could so he wasn’t a complete deadweight, his heart and mind were clearly not there at the moment. Every shift, each rumble and thrum rattling through the hull of the ship reminded Kaidan that Shepard had been left behind, and of the promise he’d not been able to keep ….